The Date!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!
Akira POV
"Listen to your heart... there's nothing else you can do..." I sang in a completely false tone, collapsing on the floor in my brother's room.
"Kira, you're hurting my ears!"
"I thought the piercings hurt your ears..."
"Don't be such a smartass and tell me what you did now!"
"Okayz, mum... I got a little kinky with the hot guy at the party last night... what do you think I did? Any normal person would figure it out! I set you and Konan up only for her to let Rina and me go and see shiny again!"
"Konan wouldn't agree..."
"I used blackmail too. Why do you think I spend my time stalking people?"
"Okayz, time to get ya dressed up properly! Let me look at what you've got there..." I said, and rushed to look in his drawer. Akatsuki uniform, boxers with Akatsuki clouds, more Akatsuki uniforms, alternative piercings... boooring! "How does that girl actually love you? You're too boring!"
"Shut up and tell me what to try on!"
"Okay, try this on." I said, showing him a rapper costume. He was O.o, but went in the bathroom to put it on. Don't ask me where I got it from, not from my ex-boyfriend...*guilty eyeroll*
"I look like hell!" Gato yelled from the bathroom, still not coming out.
"I know! I just wanna see how hellish!"
"I hate you... I so hate you... why don't you just die? Just like this..." he muttered coming out.
I tried hard to keep my face serious, but I looked like I had eaten something moldy and had to go fast to the toilet, so I just laughed my mind off, until a punch came straight on my back.
"Hate you." I spit out at Pein, who grinned evilly.
A hundred more outfits, a hundred times more anger, a hundred punches that sweetly bruised my back from neck to waistline, and my final decision was that he looked best with the Akatsuki uniform. Yeah, anime sweatdrops.
"Now, you gotta talk about something with her. What?" I asked, hoping for a good answer that naturally didn't come.
"The Akatsuki?"
"No..."
"You?"
"You guys actually talk about me? And no, f**k no!"
"Okay... then I don't know."
"Her! You talk about her!"
"Why?"
"Because girls like to think they're the main point of your universes and that you want to know everything about them!" I said, with an exasperated tone. "And whatever she says- is the most fascinating thing you've ever heard..."
"And what if she says something stupid...?"
"It is interesting... you know, I've never thought of this before... it really is fascinating..."
"Really?"
"No, idiot! You said something stupid and I tricked you to think I really cared!"
"Hate you."
"Ditto. If you have any problem just call me mentally through the damn Rin'negan link we have, okayz?"
"Hate. You."
"I'll take this as a yeah. Rina must be ready with Konan, so good luck, and COMPLIMENT HER!"
"Hate. You."
Kirina POV
"Konan-chan!"
"Yes, Kirina?"
"It's time for a makeover! You know what day it is today. Right?" She blushed ever so slightly.
"Yeah. I remember...but we don't need a makeover, do we?"
"Of course we do! You don't plan on going in your uniform, do you?"
"Yes, what's wrong with it?"
"The first date is most important! You have to look your best, now come on!" I pulled her into her room and examined her wardrobe.
"Akatsuki cloak. More cloaks...black shirt...black shirt...black pants...another cloak. Your clothes are so boring! These will never work!"
"Really! What should I do?"
"Never fear! The great Kirina is here!" I leaned in and whispered in her ear.
"You know, I heard that Pein is going in a rapper outfit."
"What!" She was shocked. Her mouth hung open wide.
"Therefore, we have to match him!"
"Why would Nagato wear...such thing?"
"Kira can be convincing...very convincing. But it matches him, you know with the piercings and all." I held out an outfit that I had specially prepared for her. A ripped t-shirt with blue tank top and a pretty nicely ripped skirt too.
"What do you think? I ripped them myself!" I held up a kunai grinning mischievously. Konan gasped.
"Kirina! Why did you ruin perfectly good clothing like that? I will sew it back right away!" She magically took out a sewing kit.
"No! This is called style!" I ran with the clothes and she chased after me.
"Let me fix it!"
"NEVER! You need to learn real style woman!" We ran and ran in circles and finally, I got dizzy and collapsed.
"Aha! Got you now!" She grabbed the clothes but I'm not letting go that easily.
"Konan, try this on, please?" I asked with the cutest chibi eyes that I can come up with.
"...Aww..fine. But I'm just trying it!" She walked into the bathroom to change and I took out a camera that I had prepared in my pocket.
Flash! I got the picture.
"Kirina! Why'd you take a picture of me?"
"Uhh...I was going to ask Kira for advice on this."
"Oh, ok. Does this shirt make me look fat?"
"Uhh..kinda. Which is why I had specially prepared this blue dress for you!" I held a dress which is what she is gonna actually wear to the date.
"Try it on."
"Okay." A few minutes later, Konan came out. She looked fantastic! She was living up to her name, truly an angel.
"Wow...Konan you look great!"
"Really?"
"Yup, you should wear this to the date." She blushed at the mention of date.
"But I thought we had to match!"
"Nah. That doesn't matter. All that matters is how you look like!"
"Okay then, I'm ready!"
"Yes you are. Now give me my clothes back."
"No!" She clung on to my ripped clothing.
"But they're mine!"
"No. I will keep it."
"But...but."
"No." And I had to listen because she was already taking paper out of her desk.
Akira POV
Good, good, good... now they're out! I met with Kirina in front of Itachi's room (don't ask why, it's the place both of us know where it's situated... duh!).
"You managed to convince Pein dress in that rapper costume?" she asked me with a snicker of laughter.
"Yep, but my ex looked better. What about Konan's rapper-girl costume?"
"Total fail."
"Typical... They're too boring..."
"Yep." We shared a look of exasperation. Adults are too boring... Good thing I have a year until I become an adult... phew!
"So... you have any ideas for spying them without them knowing it?"
"Um... We dress in costumes of a carrot and a bunny and go to the restaurant?"
"Brilliant! Can't wait! Now really!" I sarcastically said, though weirdly enough 'Superstar' started playing in my head. I thought lately I was obsessed with 'Listen to your heart', not 'Superstar'...
"Disguises?"
"Of?"
"Waiters?"
"Ooooh, I've always wanted to be a waiter only to spill food and tomato sauce on customers!"
"Tomato sauce smell doesn't come out easy."
"I know!" I said, with an evil grin. I just adore to antagonize people... I motioned Rina to go and change her clothes, and then I went into my room to do the same.
A few moments later we met again in the same place, but we were dressed in identical waitresses costumes. I had to wear contact lens to hide my Rin'negan eyes, and I swear green went well with my hair!
"We're almost identical!" we both said in the same time, then burst out into laughter. "Let's go!"
We had to pass through the living room, which was a bigger fail than nii-san's songs. The to-be-expected 'whoah!' and 'WTF is with the costumes?' and 'hm' and 'where are you going?' chimed in from all the parts of the room. Dramatically, I rolled my eyes and stuck my fingers in my ears and continued to walk while Rina was giving some excuses that almost everyone took.
"Your cousin has a date and doesn't have money to take her to a restaurant and he's creating one in the backyard and we're helping out of charity? CHARITY AND I? Are you trying to ruin my reputation?" I hissed at Kirina once we were out of the living.
"Hey, I tried to make something up from zero, okay?"
"I'm not a scout-girl! I'm the sister of the Leader of Akatsuki, Amegakure, I'm a Rin'negan user and I have created massacres some barely dream in their worst nightmares! I don't do charity!"
"Okay, okay... why do you mind after all so much?"
"I don't think my Ita-kun is to be uninformed about me."
"Your Ita-kun?"
"Duh!"
"Nuh-uh, you didn't say this!"
"Okay, okay... now we gotta go and watch the date, then we can continue our yelling contest..."
"Fine."
Kirina POV
We followed Pein out of the base and onto the busy streets of Ame. At one point we did lose them, but it was easy to find him again. A carrot in a rapper outfit really stands out, you know. Pein fainally stop. Wow, I can't believe this. I really can't belive it. Pein took Konan to...the most crappiest restaurant ever. The paint was chipping, the sign was falling and the roof looked like it was about to collapse with even the slightest touch!
"Congratulations, your brother just aced his first date."
"I know right!"
"He needs some professional help."
"How about we take him to see snakey?"
"You just want to see his shiny head again!" She nodded.
"Yup. SHHHIIINNY!"
"Come on, they're going in." We sneaked in the back door. An old lady walked up to us.
"Ah. You two must be the new helpers. I forgot, what are your names again?"
"Uhh...Carrot." I replied. Dammit! I made a wrong choice in name! I was thinking of Pein and came up with carrot!
"What about you?" She asked Kira.
"Sonic!" I felt like crying in a corner...
"What unique names you two have. Anyways, I'll give you your name tags, then you can go out and serve some customers!" I doubt that anyone even goes here...
Surprisingly, the small, rundown restaurant bustled with customer. Kira got her wish. She spilled tomato sauce on the first person who ordered something tomato related. Poor guy. He had a pretty nice, white shirt too. I walked up to our lovely couple.
"Hello, may I take your order today?"
"Yes, I would like spaghetti and meatballs...extra tomato sauce please." Oh good luck with that one, Konan.
"And you sir?"
"Same." He replied.
"Ok, can I get you two anything to drink?"
"Water."
"BEER!" Seriously? Beer on your first date. I will not be carrying him back to the base if he starts babbling like a drunk idiot.
"Sorry, sir. We don't sell beer."
"Oh. Well then I'll have-"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE DON'T SELL BEER? OF COURSE WE DO!" An old guy, which I assumed to be the owner of this place, stood up on a chair and yelled. No! He's ruining this! I'm trying not to get leader drunk! I motioned for Kira, who was behind him holding a bowl of soup. She nodded and pretended to slip. Knocking the man down and getting soup all over him.
"Ah! My back!"
"I'm so sorry sir. I'm new, so I'm just not used to this job yet." Wow, Kira was pretty good at acting.
"Hey, Konan, doesn't that girl look like Kira-"
"Ah!"I cut him off. "Sir, what would you like to drink."
"Water is fine."
"Okay, thank you."
"Kira, you will not spill food on them."
"I will not spill food on my nii-san and his girlfriend." She repeated.
"Good. Now go give them the water. Remember, I put the mics in there, so don't mess up."
"I won't!" She promised. I decided to go the old fashion way. Hearing devices. I super-glued the mic to the cups and both me and Kira had ear buds on to listen in on their conversation.
Akira POV
OMFG, this Rina! Do this, do that, don't do this, don't act-like-a-5-years-old-on-steroids... Oh, gosh... I went to the table, smiled a 200-watt-smile, and put down the glasses of water in an exemplary way, just like I've been a professional waiter since forever. On the way back I murmured to Konan with a thick country accent 'Lucky girl, he's a hot guy!', just because. Oh, and I knew it always works when trying to get a girl like a boy.
"What did you do?" Rina asked as soon as I was out of my nii-san and Konan's eyesight.
"What tells you I did something?"
"You always do something."
"Yeah, I did everything right. Kill me for this." I said, raising my hands as a surrender.
"It'd make Ita-kun easier to get, but... you're my friend so not gonna kill you..."
"Yet." I completed.
"Yeah. Now let's see what they're talking about." Rina said, and both of us turned on our ear buds.
...
...
"So, Konan, what kind of music do you like?" nii-san asked. He was her best friend or so for such a long time and doesn't know? But at least he was talking about her... Wow, he actually took my advice... that's something new!
"Classic, jazz... Akira says I should listen to better stuff, like rock and rap, but not my type..."
"Kira is crazy."
"Yeah... never knew how she had so many boyfriends."
"She did?"
"That's something everyone knows. Also her catalog where she writes every embarrassing detail about each of her ex."
"Really?" Oh, **, of course I didn't tell you, you'd have killed each of them, you over-protective bastard!
"Yeah. Oh, and what do you think of Kirina?"
"She's okay, but Kira is corrupting her."
"Why don't you do something about Kira? I'm sure she is somehow listening to our conversation right now..."
"I know. But I can't. Can't kill her, and she never obeys anyone. Except for... nah, but I think there's... nah... Hell, she killed her first victim at four years old, and her adoptive father couldn't care less about her until he died being tortured by Hanzo's people because he was an Ame traitor, right as she was watching! How do you think she got to be so independent?"
"That's so sad... After all... I never knew this..."
"I did."
...
...
"Kira?" Kirina called.
"What?"
"It's true?"
"I have a turtle."
"What?"
"It's true I have a turtle."
...
...
"And how come you dressed so... so?" Konan asked.
"Kira. What about you? Because you look gorgeous!"
"Really?" the blush was audible in her voice.
"Yeah... and... you just leave one speechless and longing..." Wow, very nice, nii-san!
"Longing?" Great, she didn't sound mad, she sounded... just like she should!
"Yes... captured by your beauty, by your amber eyes, so appealing..." Is this my brother? Cause he finally sounds like he's just as good as me!
"Nagato, I..."
...
...
I shared a look with Rina and both of us 'gaaaaawh-ed' at unison.
"He really is your brother. Just as good at acting."
"Not acting, he really meant those things. They love eachother..."
"Sweet..."
"WHY ARE YOU TWO SITTING THERE DOING NOTHING? TAKE ORDERS!" the same annoying owner of the place, who still hates me, yelled at us. I rolled my eyes and went to take the order from the only table occupied. A guy with his bimbo girlfriend. I hated the girl from the first look... so... tomato sauce- mini skirt; mini skirt-tomato sauce. Say 'nice to meet you...' *evil grin*
"Hello, I'll be your waiter for tonight! Can I take your order?" I said, smiling.
"I want a tiny salad... and water." the bimbo said.
"Shouldn't you get something better, cause I feel sorry for your poor refrigerator tomorrow when you'll snarf it down just because you don't want to look like eating a lot on a date...? But okay from me... and you, sir?" I said, still smiling, and I heard behind me Rina hitting something.
"Akira? Is that you?" the guy said.
"Sebastian? I can't believe it!"
"Ditto! Last time I saw you... you did beat some sense into me... literally."
"You cheated on me with my best enemy."
"Sorry... You look gorgeous!"
"We're not getting together again. You got yourself a great bimbo."
"Who's dumping you!" the girl said, then stood up and rushed out.
"So, can I get your order?"
"Just kill me..."
"Sorry, we can't, it's against the regulations of the restaurant... but I advice you to dress up like Itachi Uchiha and go to Sasuke and say you're going to kill him- this assures you an instant death!" I said, smiling, and poor Sebastian stood up and walked out.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" guess who said this sweetly. Hint- two people, one of them hates my guts, and the other thinks I always do something.
"Nothing?"*guilty look*
"I retire! Mom, you'll be the owner from now on!" the ex-owner of the restaurant said, throwing the name tag at the old lady who gave us ours.
"Wow, he should go see some professional help.. meaning snakey..."
"Shiny-addict!
"SHINYYYYYYY!"
We finally updated! But this was really long! Nearing 3000 words, one of the longest I've written…but I didn't write all of this so…yeah! Reviews please(Or we'll crash your first date!) Bye!