Sugar Wars

Disclaimer: Do you think that I would still write Fanfics if I owned Naruto? I think not.

Akira POV

"Why the hell do I have to do the grocery?" I said angrily, letting the grocery bags fall on the floor.
"'Cause someone has pointed to me that you don't do anything useful for the base lately, so I fixed this." Nii-san said, trying to avoid looking guilty around, and not succeeding. The only secret he kept for longer than two seconds was that one with 'the real leader of Akatsuki blah blah'... like f**k whatever. I only care about Ita-kun, duh!
Speaking of which... why is Rina so close to him? And saying she's having a conversation with him doesn't work- cause she does all the talking. Soooo... yeah, she was my brother's secret informer. Great friend... but this time I won't take my revenge. Only this time. Just to try it.
"Okayz, no problem." I forced a smile. "By the way, there are a lot of Konoha shinobi up there trying to crush the boulder. They were singing something in very raspy voices about cookies..."
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS FIRST BEFORE YOU TALKED WITH YOURSELF FOR A MINUTE?"
"Because it was more important!" I stuck my tongue out at him, and then ran before Pein could catch me and torture me for the next several hours. Well, after he got over with the Konoha shinobi situation...
When I got to my room and wanted to jump on the bed, I saw it was already occupied... not by any hottie, but by... Tobi. Who was eating cookies.
"Ummmmmm... Akira-chan... Tobi can explain!" he said, jumping up.
"O-kay... Let's hear. I'm up for dark comedies lately..."
"Well... Tobi went to Konoha and 'borrowed' all their sweeties. Want some?"
"Hell yeah!" I said, joining him and starting a contest of eating more cookies. And there were thousands of cookies, so in the end I must have had more than 10 pounds extra.
Suddenly a knock was heard in the door. Being too lazy to stand up, I yelled 'come in'. Rina and Itachi entered.
"Leader said you have to come to... OMFG WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" Rina yelled, and I swear I even saw Itachi's eyes widening a little.
"Sweets fest. Wanna have some?"
"Well..."
"We have dango."
"Give me my dango!" Itachi said, reaching for the tons of dango sticks.
"Okay. Rina. We have..."
"You have everything I want- Itachi and sweets!" she said, jumping in the mountain of sweets.
"Cheers!" I said, smiling with my mouth full of different sugary stuff.

Kirina POV

Chocolate...I'm in Heaven! Even though a part of me yelled 'think of the calories! CALORIES!' the Devil urged me to go on and gorge myself with the chocolaty goodness. It was like a dream, it's there one moment and the next, all the sweets were gone. The four of us leaned back and rubbed our fat bellies. Then, all Hell broke loose.
WE were in paradise, and then the ground starts shaking. Tobi covered his ears with his hands and screamed.
"TOBI DOESN'T LIKE EARTHQUAKES! HELP ME WEASEL-CHAN!" He hid behind Itachi.
"Hey, that's my spot!" Kira yelled. She pushed Tobi away and hid behind Itachi.
"NO! AKIRA-CHAN IS A BAD GIRL!" He pushed. Soon, they started fighting for a spot behind Itachi.
"It sucks that you don't have a bigger back, ne?" I teased. He shot me a look that said 'fix this'. I smirked and nodded. Focusing chakra on my hands, I pushed them both into the opposite wall. Then, I put my back on Itachi's.
"Mine!" I declared. Kira was not happy.
"What do you mean yours?" She tried to push me away, failing miserably. Tobi started crying in the corner. Itachi didn't give a shit about what had happened. Kira had her Rinnegan and was about to use it when the earthquake caught up to us.
About 20 furious Konoha ninjas burst through Tobi's door. Kakuzu will have a fit when he sees this. The door was busted, there were footprints all over the carpet, the bed was dirty with the sweets and broke because we were all too fat, and on top of all that, we have some intruders in here glaring daggers at us. The ringleader of them all: Akimichi Choji.
"MY SWEETS! KONOHA, ATTACK!" They did not come here to capture the tailed-beasts, nor us. They had the perfect chance to try and capture a bunch of S-ranked criminals, instead they come here for SWEETS. Are they stupid or what? Itachi got up and ready.
"Aww, you're leaving already, Itachi-kun. I was having some much fun!" I glanced at Kira and she had steam coming out of her ears. Haha, its so fun to tease her. I'm getting tired of being lazy, time to fight!
"Kira, you coming or not?" I asked.
"Of course I am." She said, voice dripping with venom on every syllable.
"You should contact your bro to come and babysit Tobi." I pointed to the masked boy who was still sobbing and had started to suck his thumb. He has problems, serious problems.
"Should I tell him that we have intruders here?"
"Nah, he'll figure out once he gets here."
"He'll have a fit."
"Even better. Entertainment." She grinned. I grinned. This will be good.

Akira POV

I. Can. Not. Believe. What. She. Just. Did.
Nope, this is not getting away from me... I had to get my revenge... Hmmmm... think, Kira, think..
But of course! How could I forget about HIM? The secret weapon I told myself to use later? When I found out about it I had that Oro-like grin on my face... HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN?
Back to our sheep... I contacted nii-san through the Rin'negan link, and told him Tobi was crying and saying he wants Leader-mommy-sama. He mumbled and said we shouldn't do anything, and I told him he was not the tenth part as furious as I was, and then I refused to tell him why. Well, at least teasing him will always be there for me...:3
So Rina and I leaned against the wall waiting for Pein to come and incredibly enough following his orders. The Konoha shinobi were searching everywhere for the stolen candies, including under Tobi, who was apparently incredibly heavy (it took two men to lift him up).
"So say, Rina-chan... Doing anything in the weekend?"
"Nope, why?"
"Well, I want a little change of my program. Wanna go shopping?"
"What?" she looked at me as if I was an alien. Everyone knew I hated every kind of shopping...
"Well... you know, cute guys pop randomly in shops like Itachi did. Well, along with a whole lotta less hotter guys and a girl, but still. So..."
"So change in your program equals taking a break from stalking Ita-kun?"
"Kinda." I said, continuing in my mind with 'it's more like stalking you go out on a set date with HIM'. I had two days to talk with some contact of mine in order to set everything up. Mwahahahahahaahaha-cough-cough...
"Hmmmm... okay, only so you don't see more Ita-kun than me."
"Fine with me..."
Then the best diversion for Rina not to question me anymore was nii-san appearing like a tornado from the corner and seeing the Konoha shinobi around.
"WTF?"
"You Akatsuki stole our candies. And hid them all."
"What?"
"Nope, they're uninformed. We ATE them all." I said.
Then hell broke loose. Again. Everyone started yelling. And yelling. And fighting with anyone they saw. And this will sure make Kakuzu have five heart attacks in the same time. Poor him...
And the situation is saved again by Konan! Who randomly came and made them all get a break in the corner like kindergarten kids. And then Pein had to pay for the sweets (again, poor Kakuzu... those things were expensive...). And then he turned to me. He looked like he wanted to say something, but then apparently changed his mind. He took Konan's hand led her out of our sight. Ooooh, I have a feeling someone feels naughty! Well... and stressed. A good way to get rid of stress, ne?
But didn't we forget about something?
"Rina, don't you have a feeling you forgot something?"
"Yep, you too?"
"Mayb-... Tobi!"
"Yeah, Tobi!"
"You go babysit him, because because of you he's crying!"
"Sh*t..."

Kirina POV

I stared after Kira's retreating figure. Then at the wailing Tobi. Back and forth, I stared. What. To. Do. Now?
"Hey Itachi-kun, do you know how to stop a crazy, hyperactive, orange-masked boy from crying?" He looked at me with a 'WTF' look on his face.
"I'm serious, how do you?"
"Make him laugh?" He suggested. I thought about it. I ammmm good at making people laugh, why not?
"Tobi-channnn~"
"What?"
"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?"
"Mommy?"
"Uhhh...no. Its Spongebob."
"Tobi is wrong? Tobi is not a good boy? Waahhhh!" He continued sobbing. I looked at Itachi for help. He raised his hand, and with a flick of his wrist he...he...he knocked Tobi out! I stared wide-eyed at him.
"What'd you do that for?"
"I thought you wanted me to help."
"Yeah, but not like this! You don't treat a kid like this."
"I apologize for my lack of parental skills."
"You...I...Tobi...UGH!" I flopped back on the bed and closed my eyes. This is just a dream. I told myself. I will wake up, in my room, holding my Itachi plushy. I slapped myself, then got up...and saw the knocked out Tobi. Damn you, reality!
"Do you want me to drag him back to his room?"
"No, I want you to dig a hole and throw him in it! Of course I want you to drag him back! Do you expect me to do it?"
"Hn." Kisame randomly appeared.
"He said 'somebody's on their period.'" He translated, then poofed away. Oh, he's gonna get it, and by he, I mean the weasel, not shark boy.
"YEAH WELL WHAT IF I AM? DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT? IT'S PART OF THE NATURAL CYCLE CALLED LIFE! WHAT ARE YA GONNA DO? KILL ME FOR IT!" Itachi just sat there and listened to me lecture. Such patience...too bad, I'll never be like that.
"I'll take him to his room now."
"Yeah, he needs a nap anyways." He took Tobi by his legs and dragged him out like a dead person.
"Hey Itachi." He paused.
"I'm really sorry for yelling at you."
"Hn." Kisame poofs in again.
"He said 'Yeah, you better be sorry. I had to listen to a crazy woman yell at me for nothing'." Sharky disappears again.
"UCHIHA!"

This finally got updated! Yay! *Happy dance* This took so long because of….me. -_-" I was too lazy to write my part for a while. Sooo sorry! As an apology, here's Kakuzu's teddy bear! WHO WANTS IT? Thanks for reading^_^ Bye!