Akira's Crush is...!
Akira POV
So, after the lovely funeral thing was over, everything went back to too normal for a few days, which was highly disturbing! In Akatsuki everything needs to be crazy! I mean, Kuzu-chan counting his money, Hidan swearing, Konan babysitting Tobi, Pinnochio being a puppet, Kisame dating Samehada, Itachi being Emo, Rapunzel dating Rina... too normal! I still had my daily dose of fun at the expense of the latter couple, teasing them asking when the wedding is and whether I can be the godmother of the children, but...
It was about 5 PM and I was in my room with Rina gossiping, when a carrot stormed in my room.
"OKAY, I GIVE UP! WHO THE HELL DO YOU LIKE?" he yelled, looking like having a nervous breakdown (another one. Handling a criminal organisation ain't so easy, ne?)
"Which one of us?" Rina asked.
"BOTH!"
"Why are you so psycho to find out? Are you jealous on Rina's boyfriend?" I asked, earning a punch from Rina and a dizzy look from Nii-san.
"Wha-? No. I just want to know who you're sle-..."
"Oh, goddamit, I didn't sleep with him!" I muttered. I just wish he stopped mixing me up with Konan. "And why the hell do you wanna know who Rina likes?"
"This ain't a romantic show! We need to conquer the world!"
"Bulls*it! We need to have fun! I haven't had so much fun lately from a long time! Ever since Rina joined, it's been very funny around here!"
"Gaaaawh, thank you, Kira!"
"Don't mention it..." We both smiled.
"So. Who do you like?"
"Tsch tsch. Nope."
"THEN I'LL FOUND OUT ON MYSELF!" Nii-san yelled and rushed out of the room, making sure to slam the door on his way out.
"You think he can?" Rina asked, looking a bit worried.
"Well, it's pretty obvious in your case, but... it'd be awful if he found out about mine."
"Yup. But I don't think he'll get very far with his investigation. He's a carrot after all."
"Agreed..."
Several hours later, in the middle of the night...
"Emergency meeting! Everyone better gather in the living if you don't want to be locked in a room with Tobi!"
Hah, I don't care! I can control Tobi! F**k you, nii-san! I wanna sleep.
"Akira, by the way, I know you're probably telling me to go to hell right now, but you'd better come. Otherwise everyone will find out about your secret system."
HE KNEW ABOUT MY SECRET STALKING TUNNELS? WHA-?
Okay, I'll go to this damn meeting...
Kirina POV
Four A.M. Four A.M. is when our BELOVED leader decides to wake us up with a threat about Tobi.
"Kira, can I please kill your Nii-san?"
"No, that damn carrot knows about my secret tunnels!" I wonder what gave it away, the giant square outline on the floorboards, or the big sign 'AKIRA'S SECRET TUNNEL SYSTEM, DO NOT ENTER' full with lights and everything.
"Ya know, if we shred him into a carrot salad, then he can't talk about it!"
"Hmmm, good idea." Pein somehow got everyone to assemble into the straightest line ever. He started by explaining our organization goals again, which he goes over every...single...time! Then, he talked about...
"I understand that you are all grown girls and boys. It's understandable that falling in love is inevitable, but you should understand what position you are in. We are criminals, we do not fall in love." Kira raised her hand. "Question?"
"Then what do you call the relationship between you and Konan?"
"Uhhh..." He sweat dropped and nervously twirled his fingers. "We are just friends." Somewhere along the line, Konan cleared her throat. Oooh, somebody's gonna get a beating tonight.
"Well, since we are getting on the subject of growing up, here's another problem: body odor. I will get to the point, you all STINK! I will now require you all to use a thing called deodorant and it should smell like carrot!"
"Is your Nii-san talking about puberty with us?"
"I dunno. He's just...whatever."
"Can you just get to the f***ing point already!" I agree, Hidan. Totally. Leader cleared his throat.
"Well, I will get straight to the point then." He suddenly jumped at the first person in line, which happened to be Kakuzu.
"IT'S YOU ISN'T IT? I KNOW YOU LIKE MY SISTER!"
"Five dollars." Kakuzu groggily said. Pein actually slapped a five dollar bill in his hand.
"Now spit it!" Kakuzu literally spit on the money. I think we're all too tired for this. Pein just growled and moved on to the next victim, Hidan.
"IT MUST BE YOU! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO INFLUENCED HER TO SWEAR SO MUCH! IT'S YOU! I'LL KILL YOU!"
"Good luck with that, leader!" I added. He glared at me. I think I unconsciously gave him the finger. Hidan did the unexpected, he shot his hand out and punched Pein straight on the nose. Leader retreated a few steps back and covered his nose.
"I will ban your rituals."
"F*** that, I'm going to sleep." Ah, I'm jealous. I wanna go too. Pein moved on to Itachi. He didn't say anything, just stared. Then moved to Kisame.
"YOUR FISH! SHE MUST'VE FELL IN LOVE WITH YOUR FISH!" I think he should see a psych...pschycha...psycho...psychotherapist!
"FISH! *sniff* FISSSSSHHHHHHH!" Kisame still hadn't gotten over his fish. Pein left the crying Kisame alone. Before he could talk to Deidara though, he was interrupted by the artist himself.
"Can I blow you up, un?"
"No."
"But I really want to, un. I just want to blow your face off." Pein kicked him.
Akira POV
Nii-san is totally going out of what was left of his damn mind! Plus, he wasted 5 dollars on nothing. Kuzu-chan does like me. Everyone knew that. I didn't like him, but that's the other part.
Moving on, he went to Pinnochio:"YOU LIKE MY SISTER, DON'T YOU?"
"Damn yeah, I do. She's good."
"SO IT'S HIM, ISN'T HE?" he turned to me.
"Wha-? Nii-san, he ain't even got blood! And damn no!"
"THEN? WHO THE HELL IS HE? TOBI?"
"Yeah, Tobi. I swear, I wanna spend my life eating cookies and playing My little pony. Now really, get serious, nii-san."
"ZETSU THEN?"
"What gave it? My great love for fertilizer or my secret passion for people with mental disorders?"
"I GIVE UP! WHO THE HELL DO YOU LIKE!"
"It's a good thing you gave up on using the verb 'to sleep with'. But you won't find it out as long as I'm alive. Cause either you'd kill him or he'd kill you. Personally, I'd enjoy the latter, but I want both of you alive. So, you won't find out."
"YOUR ROOM! THERE'S GOTTA BE SOME LOVE LETTERS OR SOMETHING OR HIS E-MAIL OR SOMETHING! I'LL GO CHECK IT!" he yelled, then stormed out to my room. I couldn't follow him because all my other fellow Akatsuki members gathered around me.
"Kira-chan, are you in love?"
"Who is he?"
"Do we know him?"
"Have you had your first kiss with him?"
"Is he rich?"
Gosh, I've had enough of that. Sorry, guys, I need to protect my intimacy! "Shinra Tensei!" They all flew in all directions possible, then I rushed to my room. I could feel Tobi and Rina, being the only ones who didn't question me, one of them cause she knew and the other because he got cookies, came along. A good freak show's a good freak show, ne?
Kirina POV
It was too late. Kira already knew it, I'm sure. Pein would've already noticed the secret fan base in her closet. Posters, plushies, everything. Kira threw open her door and there was Pein, still searching. So apparently, it's not too late. Of course, being the stupid carrot that he is sometimes, he only focused on the part of Kira's room that he thought would hold the most secrets, her desk.
He opened lots of drawers and papers were spread out everywhere. I picked one up and it was *Insert crush*'s information. Of course, Super Stalker Akira got all the info on him. Now if only she can find a way to get him here or us to them. By us, I meant Kira and I. I wanna go too! Can't miss a chance to glomp a bunch of hot guys!
"Nii-san~ You finished yet~"
"Yeah, Carrot~ Ya done yet~"
"NOOOOOOO!"
"Kira, he's gonna burn your desk to ashes~"
"I know right~"
"STOP TALKING LIKE THAT!"
"After you stop talking like that~"
"GAHHHH!" And he flips the desk. Here's our favorite scene: Pein sulks in the corner like he does every time he doesn't get his way. Serving as comic relief, Tobi comes in through the window!
"Hi, Leader-sama~"
"Sniff, you talk like that too, Tobi?"
"Yeah~ You know, Kira-san likes to hide stuff in her closet~"
"TOBI!" I had to use all my strength to stop Kira from murdering him on the spot.
"CLOSET!" Well on the bright side, Leader regained his energy? He just ripped the door off and stared. The first thing out of his mouth was a bunch of *'s.
"KIRA, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!"
"Uhhh...
Akira POV
Oh sh*t. Damn Sh*t. A carrot in my life finds out about the other carrot. OMG, I have just realized how similar they are!
"Uhhhh... nii-san, you see..."
"Why are there so many pictures of me here?"
"WHA-? YOU?"
"Yeah. I must admit I look better than my gorgeous self here, but... photoshop, right?"
"Whaaaaaaa-?" both me and Rina were stunned. Sure, there's a small resemblance, but...
"Kira, you like me?"
"EWwwwwwwwwwwwwww!"
"So no. Then?"
"You're as carrot as ever!" Rina said.
"I agree. You really are that stupid?"
"Stupid? Why?"
"Should we tell him?" I whispered to Rina.
"It won't make any difference, cause even we don't know how to get to contact them."
"Agreed. So let him believe it's him, ne?"
"Egoistic little carrot he is..."
"IKR?" Then I turned to nii-san, and declared loudly "Yes, that's you in those hundreds of pictures and photos and plushies and posters and life-size replicas. And...-Kami give me the strength to say the following...- that's all because I... I... I lo-...I lov-... I CAN'T DO IT!"
"She means she loves you." Rina supplied. I wanted to strangle her and thank her in the same time. At least I didn't have to say those words.
"But who do you like after all?" nii-san asked, facing... Tobi?
"Uh. Nii-san. I'm here." he turned around to Rina. "No, here!" I waved my arms, and he finally got the right direction.
"Uh. Kira. yeah. So who do you like?"
"Kira, has your nii-san gone blind?"
"Probably. That explains his stupidity."
"Nah, that's the carrots that explain that."
"So, we have to talk with itachi to get him some Ozzy Osbourne glasses, ne?"
"Yup..."
So you guys STILL don't know Kira's crush! Hahaha! But it will be revealed in the next chapter! Also we'll have some special guests joining us too;)