Note...of Omega Life...:This is what I write when I'm bored and there's nothing else to do.
{Fireheart is standing in front of a weeping willow with his hands (paws?) behind his back}
Fireheart: Do you want to know what annoys me? Sports. I don't care what you say, I hate them, and I hate them all. The first sport that I really hate is football. Ooh! You can throw a weird-shaped ball through one of those yellow things. Ooh! You ram into people and risk permanent injury all for getting across a white line spray-painted on the grass. Ooh! Well aren't you special!
{Screen shows a plump white rabbit with black spots nibbling on a grape}
Fireheart: The second sport that I don't like is basketball. Ooh! You run around, back and forth until you pass out! Ooh! You can dribble a ball! Ooh! Every time something on TV mentions something about basketball, they show a black tall man! What if I wanna see a Hispanic short woman?! Or a morbidly obese…Jewish…Swedish…girl…something.
{Signal loss}
Fireheart: Third…baseball. Side note: why do all these "major" sports end in the word "ball"? Uh, yes, we are aware that you must use a ball in order to play. That doesn't need to be stated in the name. Ooh! You give a possible weapon to people who are on the verge of snapping due to the intense heat that is on them, combined with their horrible losing streak! No problem there! Side, side note: we need more people with health problems playing spots! God, freaking-
{signal loss}
Fireheart: Then there's dodgeball…again with the "ball". (shakes head in disappointment) I…really don't know if this is a real sport. I mean, if you think that throwing balls at 50 miles per hour at third graders an actual sport…you sadistic b*****d. (unsheathes claws)
{signal loss}
Fireheart: And the gym teachers don't care! Oh no! They think it's funny when a ball hits someone in the head! WELL WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T HAVE A REAL JOB?! THEIR LIVES SUCK!
{signal loss}
Fireheart: And they always aim for the ones with glasses! Always! If I got hit by someone who decided to throw the ball at me and I'm wearing glasses, I'd go over there and beat the crap out of them!
{signal loss}
Fireheart: (sighs deeply) I'm sorry. I'm just so angry and tired. I'm normally not like this. If I've offended anyone who loves these sports or plays them…for some odd reason…I'm sorry. It's nothing against you personally. I don't hate you…unless you play football. Then I hate you. I hate you with every fiber of my body! Ooh, and I hate you if you're a gym teacher. (smiles and begins waving) Good-bye!