This is the third chapter of my first fan fic. I've finally figured out to add comments before the chapters. Yea!
I appreciate all of the reviews and comments. It spurs me on.
BUT, most of all I have been remiss in not thanking those fabulous Beta Babes from the Old Haunt - Bree, Marjo, and Stella. Your comments and encouragement have helped to make my story clearer, and more interesting.
Thank you, Thank you.
Enjoy the chapter, my Castle and Beckett are how I would like them to be, Yes I'm a dreamer, but I say, bring on those dreams.
Parking the car, they picked up the box of treats and the bottle of vintage port as they entered Deb's building, having the doorman announce their arrival. On the 30th floor, as the elevator door opened Kate balked and she couldn't step outside. Castle turned to his partner, reaching for her hand, so they could exit together. As they walked down the hallway, Castle could feel her begin to tremble. His detective could stare down the worst of criminals, bring them to justice and comfort victims' families. But facing her private feelings left her unsure, paralysed, afraid of what to expect.
Castle leaned in, whispering in her ear, "This will be fine, she's our friend." His lips brushed her forehead, and she squeezed his hand in response.
They were surprised as the door opened before they could ring the bell.
"Sam told me you were on your way up," Deb said as she reached towards the pair, pulling them into her house. Castle wasted no time, placing the box on the entry table he wrapped his arms around Deb's small frame, kissing her forehead, looking back at Kate. Realising how unsure she was, not knowing what to do, he immediately swept her up into his bear hug. The group spent a few minutes in silent support, then separating as Deb said, "Come in, let's sit"
Rick retrieved the box from the table and headed toward their favourite place in the kitchen.
"Thought it would be nice to share some treats from Les Petits Pleasures, Kate grab some plates, I'll open the port." Kate marvelled at how Castle knew exactly how to proceed during this difficult, painful time.
Deb looked from Castle back to Kate, and she reached out and caressed Kate's cheek, "You are so important to us, to me, both of you, thank you for coming."
Up until Deb's touch Kate had felt frozen, unable to speak or move. Now she stepped forward, looking into her friend's eyes, "Of course, we are here to help?"
Neither spoke again, yet silently communicated their mutual respect. Castle interrupted their connection, announcing "Port is open, tartes are ready, let's eat." Handing them both a glass of port, he then raised his glass, "To Nick."
Everyone touched glasses, saying in unison, "To Nick". For a few moments the three were engaged in alternately tasting tartes, savouring port, and remembering times shared with their missing friend and spouse. Kate found herself unable to express herself easily to her long term friend. She found herself involved in her thoughts - how can I describe how broken my heart is from losing Nick, let alone the pain of Deb's loss. What would I do if I lost my soul ma..., if I lost Castle,? As she shivered, retreating back into her personal agony. Castle saw her floundering. He knew her so well, understood that she was trying to surface from her personal hell, so he again took the lead, stating;
"What can we do Deb? What do you want us to do?"
Kate visibly relaxed, shaking her head slightly. How did he know the perfect thing to say? He was so together, so caring, so, so hers, her heart swelled with emotion.
Slowly, Deb began to speak. "Nick hated funerals, especially after last summers' events" squeezing Kate's hand, she continued, "We had some time while he was still able to talk. He wanted to be cremated, and his last wish was that his ashes be scattered over his favourite area of Tuscany, near Montepulciano. So that's my plan, to do this for Nick. Then it's back to NYC for a blow-out party, where everyone eats, drinks and paints the town red. I can see us celebrating all night. He would be so jealous."
Kate was amazed at her friend's ability to calmly present this to them. Kate's mouth was dry, her heart pounding, and all she could do was nod. What an idiot she was. Mentally giving herself a shake, she thought come on Kate help your friend, as she returned Deb's hand squeeze. Castle again broke the silence,.
"What a great idea, exactly what Nick would want. Listen, give me a minute,I'll be right back" and with that, he pulled his phone out, as he left the room.
Kate leaned her head against Deb's forehead, finally breaking her silence, "I love you my friend, I'll always be here for you, no matter what."
Deb released Kate's hand, taking her face into her hands, "I know." she replied.
Deb glanced towards the den where Castle had disappeared. Turning back to smile at Kate, she said softly "He loves you and you love him, don't waste another minute! Life has no guarantees."
Kate smiled at her friend, saying, "I know. Today after I got your text, it was suddenly clear what I needed. No, what I wanted. So, I walked into the bull pen, kissed Rick in front of everyone and told him I loved him."
She ran her hands through her hair, "God I'm so screwed, what the hell have I done?" Kate shuddered, looked at her hands, and blushed with embarrassment. Deb tilted Kate's face, grinning from ear to ear as she looked straight into her eyes, saying "It's about damn time!" They both burst out laughing and hung on to each other. "Leave it to Nick's death to make you face your future. Now what?" Deb asked.
"Good question? There is so much to talk about, to explain, but it didn't feel right to do it today. I feel more certain of this than anything in my life, but I'm terrified!"
"Of course you are! You've never been able to express your feelings. You can battle criminals, represent the victims of crime, help everyone else out and yet drown in your own solitude. Relationships are work, Kate. Nick and I worked on ours every day, for our entire marriage. We had many rocky times, but with each adversity came a triumph, a strengthening of our bond. Remember you will always be stronger together no matter what, but you can't hide, can't walk away or try to hurt him, that's not fair to either of you."
Kate nodding slowly, agreeing with her friend, and hoping to remember the sage words that were just spoken. "Thank you." They remained still, holding hands, when Castle came flying out of the den.
"It's all arranged. My friend Sergei has a villa in Tuscany, in the town of Montepulciano. The area is Val D'Orcia and the rolling hills are breathtaking." He let out a deep breath and again continued. "The place is all yours, his staff will attend to your every desire. His private plane is being refurbished here in New York, and should be ready by the end of the week. That will give you enough time to pack your toothbrush, grab your American Express Card, invite some friends, and off you go. He said you can stay as long as you want. Did I mention he has one of the finest collections of Italian wines ever, particularly Brunellos? How about that, hmm?" With that, Castle gave them his wide eyed boyish look, lifting his eyebrow for effect. Kate was transfixed, her head in her hands, watching in wonder as this adorable, charismatic man finished presenting his plan. His face was so full of excitement, and his enthusiasm had totally swept Deb into the moment. Taking a tragedy, one of the saddest times in her life, Castle had turned it into an adventure. He was amazing, truly a man to trust and confide in, someone to help her heal, and become whole. Kate knew he would never leave her, and that just made her want them even more. He stopped talking, looking back and forth between each woman, seeking approval.
Deb spoke, "Rick, I can't accept that. It's much too extravagant."
"Yes, you can and I won't take no for an answer." he replied stubbornly.
Kate chuckled, winking at Deb, "Yeah, Deb don't try and fight him on this. Once he' s on a roll, consider yourself committed, take it from one who knows!" She glanced at Castle and rubbed her hand on his forearm.
Smiling gratefully at her dear friends, Deb responded, "Ok, I'll do it."
"Great! Now think of 7 friends you enjoy traveling with and you're off" Castle returned, grinning from ear to ear.
The remainder of the evening was spent working out the details. Even in her sorrow, Kate could tell Deb was pleased, wanting to finalise the arrangements. Castle was truly a marvel and she soaked the sight of him up, wanting to remember this special time as he changed their friends sorrow into hope. As Deb raced into the den to start calling her traveling companions, Kate reached over, and lightly placed her lips on his, tasting his open mouth. It only lasted a moment, as this was not the time or place to lose control.
As their lips parted, Castle sighed, "Wow, twice in one day, I am in heaven right?"
"Not quite" she returned, rubbing the back of her hand on his cheek.
The emotion of the evening was taking its toll on Kate, draining her of what little reserve she still had. Suddenly overcome with fatigue, her face growing pale, Castle could see they needed to leave, and soon.
Deb emerged from the den, smiling and laughing when she suddenly stopped,
seeing Kate's exhausted face and Rick's look of concern.
"You two need some sleep. Go home, I'm fine, no I'm better than fine, thanks to you."
Hugging her friends, she lovingly nudged them towards the door. "We'll talk soon, I love you both. Goodnight."
Opening the door to the loft, Castle nearly had to drag Kate and her bags across the threshold. Depositing her on the closest stool, he dropped her belongings in the entry. The last few minutes of the drive home had passed in complete silence, both were depleted, desperately in need of sleep. Kate laid her head on the counter, closing her eyes.
"Hey Kate, you need to go to bed," he spoke quietly as he gently poked her side.
"Umm, right, just a minute," she murmured, hardly able to speak.
Castle wrapped his arm around her sleepy form, trying to get her on her feet. Giving her a moment to gain some balance, he started to guide her upstairs to the guest room.
"Stop Castle, what are you doing?" Turning to him she put her hand on his chest.
"Getting you up to bed before you fall over." He was confused, and honestly, a little cranky. Why was she being so difficult, he was tired too?
"Nuh-uh, no way. I'm not sleeping in the guest room!"
Now Castle was really confused. Grabbing her chin, he lifted her face, looking into her eyes, seeking answers.
"I thought I was pretty clear this afternoon, buddy. I love you. I'm not sleeping alone, not tonight, not ever again, got it?" She informed him forcefully, poking her finger into his chest with each declaration.
Kate had discarded her shoes when she entered the loft, so she stood on her tiptoes and rubbed her nose on his, brushed her lips on his mouth, and purred as she bit his lower lip, "Let's go."
Taking his hand, she began moving towards his bedroom, and even though she was mostly asleep on her feet, her intentions were quite clear.
Castle was in shock, shaking his head and smiling at this marvellous creature, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and closed the door.