Angels: Augustana

The past two weeks Finnick and I were able to spend our time happily. We would help our parents with their work…just because. We would spend every night on the bank of our private island, talking and laughing…not worried about the Capitol for once. He had wrestled me in the water, winning of course. I made fun of his haughty Capitol smile and then we both practiced our snooty Capitol game faces. I don't remember ever laughing so hard. Finnick was my best friend. I told him everything. We didn't opt for secrets, we didn't play games. "None of this seems real," I told him as we sat around a driftwood fire.

"What doesn't?" He asked.

I sighed, rolling over in the sand. I stared up at the stars forming, "That we're here together…after everything." I looked over at him and he was grinning, "I just never imagined this, I guess." I smiled back. I had never seen a more beautiful sight than his smile.

"Never?" He asked, imitating me and rolling on his back.

"No. Not really. But not because I didn't love you." I told him as the fire crackled behind us. Finnick chuckled.

"Want to know a secret?" He asked me. The stars were twinkling as if angels were smiling down on us.

"I'd love to hear one."

Finnick sat up and hovered over me, pushing my hair out of my eyes, "I thought you were beautiful from the moment I met you." He said, with a charming smile.

I pushed him and laughed, "Oh come on. No, you didn't."

"Ok, I didn't," He chuckled, recovering from the jolt of my strength and pushing his hair back. He shook his head, still smiling at me. I sat up with him, shaking the sand from my hair. "But we were thirteen. No one was beautiful at thirteen. But when I came back from the Games and then left for the Victor's Tour, I never stopped thinking about you." This was genuine. I could tell. It was in his eyes, the way he looked at me.

I smirked, edging closer to him but then back to the fire. "So, when did I make an impression on the famous Finnick Odair?"

Finnick looked into the fire and then back to me, "Three years ago. When you were sixteen and I snuck over to your house that night after my tour." He fell back on the sandy pillow he made for himself, "You came out in a pale blue nightshirt and your hair was really wavy. I could tell you had just woken up, but you looked beautiful. I don't know what it was…but that was the night I knew." He told the stars. The night was quiet, even the waves had calmed and it seemed like Finnick had tamed everything around us. "I didn't want to say goodbye that night."

I grinned, because even if I tried, I couldn't forget that night. It didn't make as big of an impression for me, but every moment with Finnick, I found some greatness in…because I never had a lot of moments with Finnick. "I remember…I wanted to ask if I could come with you."

He shot up. "So you knew before that?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

I laughed, "I knew six years ago."

He frowned and shook his head, "Show off." He said as he nestled back down. He laughed, leaving his arm open for me. And I wedged myself beside him, like always.

Finnick nudged me, with a broad smile. Everything about that night was perfect. I had just wished we could have made it something more…but neither of us were ready for that. Finn had baggage and I had to be in love with someone else.

On my Victor's Tour, we were forced to become more distant. It started with the two of us doing everything together, like a couple. We were laughing, waving, hugging, all things couples were expected to do. Then once we moved into Districts Nine and Eight, we only sat next to each other. In Seven, we sat on opposite sides of the stages. In Six and Five, we smiled at each other and were cordial, and in my speeches, I began to speak more about my despair for Thomas. In Three, Two, and One, we barely even looked each other's way and I trained myself to cry at the parts of Thomas. Finnick was pleased with my performance, as was I. We really did seem to have drift. We didn't risk anything by sneaking into each other's rooms at night, or kissing when we thought no one saw. We saved that for Four…where we knew our secret love would be kept safe. The Capitol was our best performance yet.

Several fans had followed me throughout the night as we weaved in and out of the party at President Snow's mansion. They asked me how I was, I pretended to be disinterested and standoffish. I asked for Finnick, but couldn't find him, and I knew I wouldn't. We walked through the halls and there he was, with a gorgeous woman of the Capitol. She was tall, slender, with pink skin, golden tattoos all over her body, and a large turquoise wig. His lips were locked to hers and her hands were searching his body. Finnick tangled his hands in her hair, and they wrapped themselves together. Jealousy surged through me, at just the thought that she could publically do everything I couldn't. Finnick looked convincing, but I knew he hated every second of it. "Finnick!" I gasped. My audience looked horrified as well, but some of the ladies blushed, hoping they were next.

"Annie…I…" He sputtered, his necktie undone, his shirt wrinkled, and her hands still around him.

My eyes grew wide and then blank. I felt the singe of what I had witnessed, and there was some reality to our pretending. "We're done here." This is where I had to become imaginative. I ran past my crowd of fans and concealed the herb in my hand, putting it to my eyes so tears would come. I sank down in one of the extravagant mansion hallways.

"Miss Cresta?" Some of my followers asked. I continued to cry. And finally, to one girl who I knew always had a good story to pass on I whispered, "I never loved him." The plump gossip leaned in, "What do you mean dear?"

"I miss Thomas!" I wailed. "I miss him so much!" I sobbed on their fancy dresses, looking a drunken mess. I began to play on hysterics. They huddled around me and I began to cradle myself, rocking back and forth. Finally, I sat up and dried my tears. I looked around confused, "Where is he?" I asked calmly.

The Capitol girls looked confused, "Finnick, Annie?" They asked.

I shook my head with a quaint smile, "No. Where's my Thomas?" I batted my eyelashes, staring at them blankly. I had gone mad. The gossips looked worried. They ran away from me, spreading my story across the party. Finnick had to come back into play. "Annie?" He asked cautiously.

I watched him with a blank stare and innocent smile, "Oh, hello Finnick. Do you know where Thomas is?"

Finnick's panic brought panic amongst the party guests, "Annie, snap out of it!" He said in a harsh enough whisper for several others surrounding us to hear.

The room was full of gasps and confusion, and then fear when President Snow came to our aid, "Finnick, do you think I could see both you and Miss Cresta privately?" He asked, his smile never failing. I sat, still staring blankly and smiling in an airy way.

Finnick grabbed my arm and pretended to try and hide me from the guests. He led me to the President's quarters where we all filed in, waiting for Snow to talk.

I interrupted though, trying to be as insane as I thought necessary. "Thomas, it's the President!" I whispered to him, giggling, loud enough for Snow to hear. I mixed up names, often calling every male Thomas and then using the herb to cry when I deemed it the most inappropriate time to act out.

"What is going on?" Snow asked with a devious look in his eyes.

Finnick shrugged, adding panic to his voice, "She's gone mad sir. I don't know what happened…she's been like this throughout the tour." His voice was strained as well as his expressions. He looked genuinely upset that I had gone "crazy."

President Snow nodded with a look of anger in his eyes. The hunger had melted away. "Well, fix her up and have her presentable. We can't all of Panem seeing our newest Victor is a mental case." He snapped, as politely as I'm sure a president could. "When she's done with her duties, leave her back in Four." He dismissed me. I was useless to him now. There was no need for me, and my beauty had been shadowed by my mental state.

Finnick frowned, staring at the floor, leaving me in a chair to where I only sat and stared blankly at the wall. Picking flowers and twirling seemed like a decent enough option but Snow might find humor in my state and leave me here as a pretty little spectacle for the world to laugh at. "They all know she's mad sir." He said, glancing at me and then back to Snow.

Snow shook his head and frowned, muttering, "Such a shame to see such a pretty girl go mad." Then he looked to Finnick and another devious smile crossed his lips, "And after you loved her for so long." He knew we were playing games.

Finnick jumped at the right moment, letting his voice drop in sadness, "She always loved Thomas."

Snow raised his eyebrow, "You wouldn't know that by the way she confessed her love to you on stage."

But Finn was smart, he denied me ever loving him, "She was scared and thought I could save her." He muttered, shamefully.

"She was right," Snow said, chuckling at Finnick's despair.

He shook his head, almost in tears now, "But she blames me for his death…she hates me now."

"She seems fine." Snow announced staring at me as I looked through him.

Finnick walked over to me and although I desperately wanted to reach out and touch him, I stayed still…I looked through him, I ignored his touch, his voice, his sweet scent of sea water, cologne, and sugar cubs. "This is a better side of her. She stays quiet or sad for days at a time and won't talk…but then she comes back either hating me or confused." He said touching my face, but I didn't move.

"Such a pity," Snow said in the dreadful tone he used when he touched my face. "Such a waste of a beautiful girl." He said, walking up beside Finnick. He put his hand on my face, "She would have been such a wonderful Victor, like you Finnick." I felt my skin chill over, but kept a straight face, staring through him. It would be over soon. I would be home. I would be free. I repeated over and over in my head. But I would be without Finnick and if this didn't go well, we'd both be dead.