Note from the Phoenix: Thank you for being patient, I know I used to update every other day when I was sick and not at work. However, I work one full time job, on part time job and I do taxidermy custom orders on the side. I've been a *very* busy woman. I will try to do better.

White Collar: The Eye of Sita

Chapter Twenty

Peter woke in a panic feeling like he couldn't breathe. Sitting up he took a few deep breaths as he rubbed gingerly at his sore throat. Peter glanced at his watch to see that it was just past four in the morning. He laid down and tried to go back to sleep, but something seemed out of place. Getting to his feet he went into the bathroom and closed the door before turning on the lights.

Blinking against the suddenly bright light Peter's eyes slowly adjusted. Looking in the mirror he inspected the bright crimson and purple mark that marred his neck. Elizabeth was not going to be happy. She tried to act calm whenever his job turned dangerous, but with such an obvious sign of violence she was going to be upset. After running some cold water over a wash cloth he pressed it against the bruise to try to reduce the swelling.

Leaving the bathroom with the cold cloth it took Peter's eyes a few minutes to readjust to the darkness. He sat back down on the couch, but he knew he wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep. Peter looked at the closed door that lead to Sara's bedroom. He knew it was completely inappropriate to check to see if Neal was with her, but his instincts were telling him it was worth the faux pas to make sure Neal hadn't gone after Daniel.

Peter walked over to the door and reached for the handle before he remembered that there was a much better way to find out where Neal was. Going over to his jacket on the coffee table he looked for his cell phone. Not finding his cell phone didn't worry Peter half as much as when he realized that his shoulder holster was also missing. It took him a moment to recall Daniel had dismantled the weapon and left it in the backseat of his car. He knew that Neal was perfectly capable of putting the gun back together again.

Before Peter could process the full scope of repercussions of Neal being out on the street with his weapon he heard someone swiping a key card in the front door. Neal opened the door carefully, trying not to wake anyone. When he saw that he was already caught Neal put his hands up in surrender. Peter narrowed his eyes at Neal.

"I didn't kill Daniel." Neal offered.

Peter stepped up to Neal and without a word reached into his jacket and retrieved his gun out of the holster that Neal was still wearing. He sniffed the barrel and breathed a sigh of relief, the gun had not been recently fired. Opening the cartridge Peter's blood turned to ice when he found that it was empty, he was responsible for every bullet that the FBI issued him.

"Daniel took them." Neal explained. "He promised to have them delivered to our hotel tomorrow."

Peter glared at Neal icily.

"I'm sorry." Neal said with more sincerity than usual. "I had to see him, and I wasn't sure if I would need to defend myself against him or not."

Reaching up to his own temple that mirrored where Neal had a faint bruise Peter's anger turned to concern. Peter noticed that the top button on Neal's stained shirt wasn't just unbuttoned, it was actually missing. Neal was also moving as though his neck hurt.

"It was not a 'Lifetime Channel' type reunion." Neal admitted sadly.

Peter could hear the weight on Neal's heart in his voice. He put his hand on Neal's shoulder.

"I'm fine, Peter." Neal replied unconvincingly.

Peter raised a doubtful eyebrow. Neal saw Peter's skepticism and managed a more genuine smile. Neal went over to the couch and sat down heavily. He pulled his hands through his hair and closed his eyes for a moment. Peter wasn't used to seeing Neal looking so lost. He sat down next to him and just waited.

"I'm a horrible person, Peter." Neal confessed. "Daniel thinks I'm the one who should never forgive him, but it is the other way around. I felt better when I believed Daniel was dead. Now, not only do I have worry about him attacking my friends, I also have to live with the fact that I abandoned him bleeding to death. It was easier to handle the thought that I had just killed him out right. He had to face everything on his own, meth rehab, murder trial, death row, life as an escaped felon."

Neal paused for a while, his thoughts going back to the past. Knowing that there was nothing he could say to make things better Peter just offered Neal a non judgmental silence. Neal's eyes brightened with tears, but he didn't reach the point where they actually slipped down his face.

"I should have stayed. I should have made sure. If I had taken a moment to find the courage to check for a pulse none of this would have happened...there was just so much blood, he was so still...I should have checked. Everything would be different, our whole lives would have been changed. None of this had to happen."

Peter continued to sit quietly and just let Neal talk. It was somewhat disconcerting how his usually tight lipped friend had suddenly become so talkative. Now that he had started he couldn't seem to stop. Peter had long suspected that this day would come. Although he could have never had guessed the circumstances surrounding it he was very familiar with the way secrets tended to eat away at whatever container in you heart you tried to put them in. Eventually they escaped in one form or another. Peter's friend in the violent crimes division often told stories of suspects coming forward with spontaneous confessions even when there was no evidence to link them to the crime. The human need to share secrets was a powerful one.

"I need to get my real name back." Neal suddenly announced miserabiably.

Peter gave Neal a questioning look.

"Daniel confirmed the one question that has haunted me all these years." Neal answered Peter's unspoken question. "I've tried not to think back to the all the signs that I should have noticed back when it was happening, I almost had myself convinced that Daniel had lied. It's hard to reconcile why Robert would treat the two of us so differently. But, there is no question now, there was too much pain in Daniel's voice. Look at it now I wonder how could I have been so blind. My adoptive father, mentor and namesake was a rapist."

"You know that's not your fault, right?"

"You're talking now?" Neal asked in surprise.

"Most of the pain is gone."

"Why didn't you say anything before?"

"You sounded like you needed someone to listen, not talk."

"How did you get so wise?" Neal smiled.

"Advantage of my advanced years."

"At least there is one advantage." Neal replied. "But I'm serious, Peter, I can't stay 'Neal Caffrey' anymore, not after this."

"Neal...what's in a name?"

"Are you quoting Shakespeare to make me feel better?"

"Pretty much."

"So you implying that I'm a sweet rose?"

"I guess I didn't think that quote all the way through." Peter admitted.

"No you did not."

"But you get my point, right?"

"I do." Neal nodded. "But, I'm still not sure."

"In the end the decision is yours. There are plenty of legal ways to change your name, and even more illegal ones that I'm sure you know about. However, I think the fact that you have never kept in an alias longer than a few weeks says something about how important 'Neal Caffrey' is to you."

"I've kept aliases for years."

"You've kept them, but you've never used them that long. I would have lost your trail in Europe and I would have never known you'd returned to New York if you had just dropped your Caffrey identity and settled into a new one. I never would have caught you. And I know you know that. So before you change your name just remember that at one point you were willing to risk prison to keep it."

Neal thought about what Peter said quietly. Eventually he nodded. He looked more relaxed than when he'd first come back from talking to Daniel. Peter was concerned by how weary Neal still appeared, but then he realized that it had been a long night without sleep for his stressed friend.

"Do you want to know what my birth name was?" Neal asked suddenly.

"No."

"Right, I'm getting careless, you still have your badge. You'd have to arrest me for identity fraud."

"That's not the reason, Neal. I'm not going to punish you for talking to me in confidence. If you decide to change back to your birth name, you can tell me then. But I still say it is something you should think about before acting."

"Thinking before acting...that's not really my style."

"I've noticed."

Neal chuckled with a bright smile that made him look much more like the Neal that Peter was used to dealing with. Falling silent once again Neal's brow furrowed in thought the way it always did when he was reading through a new case file. His eyes started going back and forth as he became more absorbed in whatever he was thinking about.

"Neal?"

"How are we going to find Daniel's son?" Neal asked seriously.

"I don't suppose Daniel or the mother has filed a missing person's report?"

"No, they tried to handle it themselves and now they are too afraid to bring any officials into it."

"And we're still not supposed to know about the Hope." Peter mused out loud. "If we could get on the official diamond case we would have a lot more resources to work with."

"I can get you on the case." Sara's voice suddenly joined the conversation.

"Sara..." Neal got to feet "I...uh..."

"It's okay, Neal, I don't care about your name either." Sara assured. "Although I'm far more curious to know what your name was than Peter."

"You get me in the right mood sometime and I might just tell you."

"Challenge accepted." Sara grinned.

"If you two are going to do this I'm going back to my own hotel." Peter complained.

"Sorry." Sara flushed.

"Sara, you said you can get us on the case?" Neal asked to redirect.

"I can. I'm part of the official investigation."

"I don't see how that helps."

"I'm allowed to hire my own consultants." Sara clarified.

"Can we risk becoming part of an official investigation? What if we spook the kidnapper."

"No one will think twice, Neal." Sara assured.

"How can you know that?"

"If you were looking for a consultant on an impossible to steal item...who would you go to?"

"Someone with alleged experience." Neal smiled.

"Exactly." Sara nodded. "And if I had any FBI connections and knew an Agent I could trust to keep a secret I'd probably want his help too."

"I hate to say this," Peter said "but if we are going to be officially on the Hope Diamond case I know one more person's help we need."

"No, no way." Neal said quickly. "Bad idea."

"I know you don't like him, he's certainly not my favorite person. However, he's good at his job and he knows this city better than we do. Plus he can be trusted."

"Trusted?" Neal said doubtfully.

"He plays things closer to book than I do."

"Who are we talking about?" Sara asked.

"Agent Walters."