Hey Now: Augustana.
Finnick sat, elbows on his knees, leaning towards me in a small huddle in the dining cart of our train. "You know who I heard was good, Katniss Everdeen."
I watched the window, life passing by in blue, green, and faded browned blurs. "The girl who won last Games? With the boy?" I asked airily.
Finnick chuckled. "Yes. The two star-crossed lovers from District Twelve," He said as he carved into the table with his knife, bored of the spectacular charade that we were honoring our district in any way.
I smiled, my stare falling on him. "Star-crossed lovers…isn't that a sight."
"They have nothing on the two of you," Mags chimed in. Poor Mags was watching us with such hope, when there wasn't a thing to hope for. Her speech had gotten better than it was, as she was still recovering from last year's stroke. Guilt overwhelmed me.
"The unknown star-crossed lovers of District Four…of course," Finnick added, winking at the frail old woman.
"Annie, that's a beautiful ring on your hand." She told me, pointing towards me with her cane.
I nodded sadly, "Thank you Mags."
She smiled sweetly, empathy controlling her features. "I'm sorry you had to cancel your wedding."
Finnick shook his head, stabbing the table and leaving the knife to stand alone in its makeshift niche. "We wouldn't be the first," He sighed, "Katniss and Peeta did as well." He grabbed an apple and rolled it in his hands before taking the first bite.
"How did you know about the wedding?" I asked Mags quietly.
She grinned reminding me of my father's sly smile when he found out his daughter was love struck for Finnick Odair. "Finnick told me."
He shrugged and in between bites admitted, "I didn't think it was a secret."
A small smile played on my lips, "The engagement wasn't long enough for it to be much of one, now was it?" I watched him lovingly as he tried to occupy his hands. "Poor Katniss and Peeta," I sighed, looking to the window again.
"Are you ok, Annie?" He asked me after a long silence.
I shook my head, giggling a little to myself, "No. I'm mental. Remember?"
Mags shook her head and laughed, "Oh dear, you're no more mental than the rest of us." She said, chuckling and then grabbing Finnick's knife and cutting a slice of bread. "I'm afraid we're all mad on this train." She sighed, then returning Finn's wink. He grinned, mouthful of fruit.
I smiled at her and then pulled my legs up to my chest, "Mags, why did you volunteer?"
Our playful conversation took a heavier note. "I'm an old woman Annie. I remember when you went in…I remember how tough it was on the two of you. I remember how tough it was on you." She said, placing the knife on the table and leaning back in her chair as if a screen were playing a recap of the 70th Hunger Games.
"I could have handled it." I said, unfortunately defensively. She volunteered because I was weak. An eighty-year-old woman was stronger and more capable than I was…which I knew was probably true, but the truth of it was degrading and pathetic of me.
But Mags shook her head in protest. "I know you could have. You're strong. But I don't think Finnick could have handled you in the arena again."
Finn traced his messily cut pattern on the table with his finger, "She's right. I couldn't." He said quietly.
I stared at him, brow furrowed, lips pursed, "Right, of course." I said, unfortunately patronized like a child.
Mags watched me with honest eyes, "It's true. Look, poor boy. I'd ship him off to the Capitol every time…Mentor with him…always tying knots, always worrying." She shook her head, now showing an immense amount of concern for Finnick as he began to fidget with the ratty, old bracelet I had given him years ago.
"Were you?" I squeaked.
He looked up, sea green eyes wide and sweet, and nodded.
"So I'm your mentor?" I stammered. My nerves were taking over as Finn and Mags watched me under scrutiny.
"Looks like it." Finnick said with the famous, mischievous Odair grin. "And Mags too." She smiled at me with a calm and loving grin.
My smile wasn't as confident, "What do I do?"
"Get sponsors. You won't have to train us…we've already got that covered." I remembered how Finnick would still spear at fish swimming past when we were home and weary. He never stopped training. Sometimes I'd train with him, especially if he had angered me. Sometimes I would tie a legitimate net…but most times it reminded me too much of my parents so I would just tie knots.
Mags and Finnick exchanged some strategies when it came to building alliances, "Win over the girl on fire now." Mags chuckled. "Can you get her to trust you Odair?" She asked and a pang of jealousy hit my stomach. All I associated with Finnick, women, and trust reminded me of the women of the Capitol.
Finnick smirked, "Sure." And then he saw my face, "Not like the sponsors Annie…not like them." He said with a quick smile saved for mm when Mags wasn't looking. He didn't have to sleep with the tribute girl from Twelve…good. That was reassuring. Except for he still had to sleep with the Capitol women, didn't he?
The thought bothered me, until we reached the Capitol, then my jealousy consumed me.
He grinned at me as we got off the train, "Well, let's play our parts then, shall we?" He said, squeezing my hand and then running off. I scowled at him, as I did at my last Capitol party. I faded in and out of moments.
Finnick made them swoon. Every girl called out to him, reached out to him, begged him for his time. And for each and every one of them, he had his special Capitol smile reserved for them and the seductive purr that was wildly unfamiliar to me. I hated Capitol Finnick, but I hated Capitol Annie equally so. They dragged me along as I pretended to be without my sanity. We met up with the rest of the tributes, all familiar to me.
"Well, if it isn't sweet little Annie Cresta…I thought all the mental patients had to stay home?" A tall, and very familiar girl, close to mine and Finnick's age called out to me.
"Down Johanna," Finnick growled.
Johanna Mason strutted towards me, looking me up and down and then approached Finnick, "What's got you in such an uproar today pussycat?" She teased. "Hate when I make fun of your girlfriend? I know you do dearest, that's why I do it." She said, pushing her hands through her hair with her own quirky seduction. Envy surged through me, but I stayed calm and quiet. I was mad after all.
Finnick watched her, not nearly as intimidating as he was known to be, "You know that's not the case here…" He said sounding more hurt than angry.
Johanna scoffed, "Oh no Finnick? Is it not?" She said, circling around us. "Come on. How stupid do you think we are? We all know your story here…not that you're any safer with us," She said, softly tugging at the waves in my hair. "We know how brave little Annie stood up to the Capitol. How sweet, beautiful little Annie said no to Snow's sex trade. We all know her loss." She said, and then a new wave of seriousness washed over her. "Which I am very sorry for," She added respectably. She offered me a kind smile, for the first time since I've known her. "I admire her Finn. More than you to say the least…" She said, gently hooking her fingers under his chin.
"Because she did what you tried?" Finnick asked, although all three of us knew the answer. We all knew the story of Johanna Mason. Forced into prostitution, but tried to be admirable and fight it. But she tried to take them with brute force, so they fought back, and in a war of aggression, the one with the better weapon wins.
"And she got away…sort of," Johanna added. "I mean the last person alive she cares about is you, and killing you would be no good for business, and killing her would mean no more you and no more glimmer of hope Snow's trying to sell," She said, scrutinizing our relationship. "What a cycle," She breathed. Then she turned her attention to me, "See Annie, I didn't get away. They killed and then made me partake in some more games."
"I'm sorry for your pain Johanna." I told her with the most sincerity I could offer.
Johanna only showed a brief moment of vulnerability, "Yeah well, I should have snagged Finnick up when I had the chance…maybe they would have spared me too." She let her fingers dance across Finnick's shoulders and then she sauntered off.
We were frozen in a short state of awe, "Come on Annie." He grabbed my hand with a new urgency. Finnick led me to his prep station in silence. It didn't take long to make Finnick handsome and desirable. He, for the most part had that covered. They dressed him in a ridiculous net leaving him practically naked "Now we're both in nets." He said, watching our reflections in the mirror. I was strapped into a silly dress that was supposed to show my mentor status. Little did they know, I was more taking on the role of invisible mentor. I was supposed to still have some harsh feelings towards Finnick as far as the Capitol knew, even though Johanna made it painstakingly obvious our attempts were futile at this point.
"Well that's….flattering." I sighed, giggling at Finnick's costume, or lack thereof.
"Try not to stare too much," He said, winking at me and then going out to the Opening Ceremonies. I stayed in the apartment that night. I watched the chariots go by and then heard the speech from the President. His voice gave me chills.
When Finnick came back up to the apartment, Katniss was the first of our many subjects to address. "Did you get Katniss to trust you?" I asked him.
He shook his head, ruffling his hair trying to get rid of the glitter they had tossed at him. "No, it was hell trying to," He sighed, rolling his eyes. "She's not like other girls…not like the ones in the Capitol. In fact, she reminds me a lot of you." He said with a lazy smile. He looked me up and down and grinned again.
I frowned, "Ha, funny…"
Finnick shook his smile away, "I'm serious," He said with a slight chuckle. "How do I go about this?" He asked, running a strong hand through his hair. Mags would have offered suggestions but she went to sleep instead. It had been a long day for her.
I smirked, watching him as he paced the room, flustered that this young girl hadn't fallen at his seductive smile. "Well, it isn't difficult for you to charm anyone Finn, not even a stone cold shark like me," I said with a quiet giggle. "Just make her laugh. Don't' come off as Victor Finnick…be the Finnick from Four." I approached him, taking a close look at net costume that barely covered his chest. I straightened the small piece of fabric that ruffled over his shoulder.
He wrapped his hands around my waist, watching my fingers trace patterns into his chest. He leaned against a bookshelf, supporting me. "So don't throw a trident at her, is all I'm taking from your advice," He said chuckling.
"Just be you…the you I like," I said with a playful smile. It was odd how relaxing the Quarter Quell was compared to all the other Capitol affairs we've been involved in. It scared me almost. But those thoughts were wiped away when Finnick kissed me. They could see us…I was sure of it. I was positive Snow knew what we had done by now. Snow knew we were in love and neither of us were trying to hide it anymore. It was over now, wasn't it? Weren't we both in the Capitol ready to face death now? Isn't that why Finnick wasn't training anymore? Or why I didn't stay in Four? Because the end was near…and the end, like every contender in the Quell this year knew, was inevitable.