I'm not really sure what's up with me lately, but for some reason I've been switching back and forth between tenses and I'm super sorry. I tried to correct my mistakes in this one, but if I've overlooked them, please just bear with me. My editing skills are not what they used to be. :) But past that, I hope you all enjoy!
Dead Hearts: Stars.
I wanted to die. Mags was gone. Mags…the last of my family, dead. My heart mourned for her. And although I wanted to stop and leave the room, I couldn't afford that luxury. I had to see Finnick. He had to be safe. He was the last of my hopes to which my heart was clinging.
The fog had impacted all of them, and there was no way I could have foreseen that. "Finnick get up," I whispered, eyes glued to the screen. He was the only one not revived. Katniss and Peeta pulled him into the ocean and his wounds began to heal. "Get up." Tears pricked at my eyes. An hour after pouring salt water over his paralyzed body, Finnick started to move only slightly. When they submersed him into the water, color poured into him. He dove into the sea and became the Finnick I remember back in Four.
A brisk moment of peace flooded my emotions, until I remembered beautiful Mags. When all seemed calm, I stepped out. The other mentors ignored my moment of weakness, attributing it to my madness. But I wasn't the only one to weep for a loved one in the arena.
I walked back to my screens, only to watch Finnick fight off mutant monkeys. My hands tremble as danger after danger attacked my love, and there's nothing to keep me occupied except for watching. Finnick was strong and I forced myself to remember that. He fought them off, with the help of Peeta, Katniss, and the morphling from Six. I didn't allow myself to think he was safe. Scabs covered his body from the fog and he began to scratch incessantly. He needs medicine. I worked fervently on obtaining what he needed. I would look up from my papers every once in awhile but only to note how tired Finnick was. I didn't watch any other tribute except for him. Even though I could clearly see Gloss and Cashmere trouncing through the jungle, annoyed by the heat and gulping down the water provided by their mentors. Katniss went to take watch while they slept, but Finnick insisted otherwise. "Sleep my love." I thought but I knew where his mind was. Peeta and Katniss slept and Finn sat on the beach, hands trembling like mine.
He walked the beach looking for blades of grass. He began weaving. He spent the night weeping silently, letting his hands work meticulously. He stopped for only a moment as dawn was approaching. I watched him, worried about his thoughts. He buried his face in his hands, and whispered very softly, "Annie." It was so soft, I almost thought it was the wind. My lips quivered as I kept myself from reaching out to the screen in front of me. I had my priorities. Get him medicine and get him out of there. I looked to the girl. Katniss has been scratching all night…maybe it was Finnick's alliance with her, or knowing about her wedding and pregnancy, but for some reason, I felt powerfully inclined to help her. I added to my order of medicine and then called for the parachute to be sent in.
She got up from her sleep and approached Finn. "You know, if you scratch you'll bring on infection," Finnick told her with a small smile through red eyes.
Katniss, not incredibly pleased with Finnick's comment, grimaces, "That's what I've heard." She walked to the sea and washed the blood off, now crying out in pain. "Hey, Haymitch, if you're not too drunk, we could use a little something for our skin," She growls, stomping back on the beach.
I smiled a little as the parachute dropped in. She tried to scowl, but remembered Haymitch. They're a lot alike, I decide as I watched her. Haymitch walked by my station.
"You didn't have to do that, you know?" He said, taking a swig from the wine bottle.
I nodded, folding and unfolding a slip of paper at my station, "I know, but they're an alliance…so what I send him, she gets too." I smiled slightly and Haymitch returned my grin but only for a short moment.
"Well, thank you Annie," He said, returning to his gruff exterior. He didn't say anything else, and he didn't have to.
I went back to watching them. Finnick was becoming more himself, scaring Peeta when waking him, laughing for the first time in awhile. It made me miss him more. I can see Katniss' disdain and mistrust for Finnick leave and by the time they quit laughing another parachute floats in. A loaf of bread from District Four.
I walked by his station smiling with surprise. "You're not the only one with a heart, doll," Haymitch smiled, winking at me.
"Bread from Four?" I asked quietly.
"For Mags and Finnick," He said, straight-faced. He tipped his head towards me, giving me a short nod.
A new appreciation for the drunk grew. His respect for Mags won over my affections. "Thank you Haymitch…really."
He shrugged, "It's out of character for me, I know."
"I like it." I smiled warmly. It was the first bit of kindness I didn't have to force from him or anyone else. For whatever reason he wanted Katniss and Finn to be allies and he wanted to protect Finn…I didn't question it.
He shook his head, taking another sip from bottle and wiping his mouth with his sleeve, "Don't get used to it darling." He said, with the usual condescending tone.
I didn't speak on it anymore and instead went back to my station, only to be surprised as red figures approached Finnick, Katniss, and Peeta.
"What is that?" I whispered, staring at the three red monsters. My skin began to crawl as I slowly recognized the faces of the monsters. They weren't monsters, but people. People drenched in blood.
"Johanna!" Finnick's face lite up and he ran towards the red figures. A pang of jealously shocked through me. Johanna ran to Finnick and then began to speak quickly to him. He listened to her attentively and then expressed his apologies when he heard of her District partner's death. But Johanna, like in most cases didn't let her emotions best her. I tuned out of the conversations until a violent hiss played over the speakers. Johanna struck Katniss, but Finnick intercepted the hurl of insults. Johanna shrieked terrible things at the girl, but Finnick repeatedly dunked her underwater until she calmed down.
My sight followed Finnick and Johanna instead of the few on the beach. "Don't kill her," He told her, laughing as she washed her face in the salt water.
Johanna frowned, the salt rubbing her skin raw. "She should be more grateful," She spat.
Finnick shook his head sympathetically, "Well…she didn't know…" He said sternly.
Johanna fell back on the beach, "This just…" She started, and then for the first time, I saw a glimpse of weakness from Johanna Mason. Her eyes looked desperate for a brief second, and then she shook away her sadness, burying her face in her hands, hiding from her audience.
"I know," Finnick said calmly.
She looked up to him, regaining her brute personality. "How have you been holding up?" She asked with an unintentional sneer.
Finn smirked a little, shaking his head, "Clean up Johanna."
"Worried about Annie?" She asked, with what might have been actual curiosity but came about tauntingly.
Finnick's playful smirk turned to a watchful glare, "Just clean up Johanna." He said with little patience.
He stretched out on the beach and she walked into the ocean, stripping and cleaning. He simply lay on his back and watched the artificial sun. "Have you cooled down yet?" He called out.
She stomped back to the beach, clothed again, "Yeah, yeah, back to Nuts and Volts." She said dragging herself, unenthusiastically, back to the beach where Katniss, Peeta, and the District Three tributes were.
They met back up. Johanna and the rest of them began to eat asking my original four about their past day. Finnick sighed, telling a detached, vague version of the troubles they'd run in to. But he never mentioned Mags. When he slept, I slept.
I didn't open my eyes again until I found them fighting with the brother and sister Careers. Waking to a fighting Finnick frightened me. Katniss shot an arrow into Gloss' temple, Johanna drove her ax blade into Cashmere's chest, and Finnick knocked away the spear Brutus threw at Peeta, taking Enobaria's knife in his thigh. A gasp rips through my throat. The fighting stopped when the island whirled around, leaving them all confused. They were confused, but safe. Finnick stripped from his undershirt and tied it around his wound. For now, it was calm, but my heart was still racing.
I ran out to the hallway of the center, trying to catch my breath. I couldn't do anything. There was nothing to contribute. It was a matter of time and watching him survive. I walked back in, settling myself in front of my station one more time. I watched the screens. It was quiet at my station. And there it was, a scream and Katniss chasing the voice through the forest. "Prim!" She screamed. She ran through the jungle, only to collapse to the ground.
"Katniss?" Finnick asks, crashing into the clearing.
"It's okay. I'm okay…I thought I heard my sister but-" She's cut off by another scream, but this one I recognize. Because it's mine. The color flushed from his face. His pupils dilated in fear. He ran mindlessly through the trees. My scream sounds again.
"Annie!" He screamed. My heart sank and tears fell as I watched them torture him. "Annie!" He screamed over and over.
"Finn I'm here! I'm here!" I whispered horrified, forehead pressed to the screen. "Oh my Finnick," I breathed as he held the pierced jabberjay in his hands.
"It's all right, Finnick." She told him. "It's just a jabberjay. They're playing tricks on us." She said, trying to reassure him. "It's not real. It's not your…Annie."
Finnick looked despaired. "No, it's not Annie. But the voice was hers. Jabberjays mimic what they hear. Where did they get those screams, Katniss?" He asked frantically. And I knew what he thought. He thought what I would have assumed. His paranoia that the Capitol had taken me captive was more of a possibility with each moment of him in the arena. The birds were still crying out. Finnick and Katniss were desperate to escape, but couldn't. They curled up on the ground, pressed against the barrier. Katniss, wide-eyed and looking frail, placed her hand against the barrier with Peeta on the opposite side, holding up her sanity. And Finnick just sat, staring at the ground, pained with each shriek of mine that flew into the air.
I desperately wanted to be beside him, but to him, I was another dead heart shrieking for help. To him, I was a dying girl, fighting against the politician's brute hand and my own sanity. A mad girl and a breaking heart. To me, he was a broken man, losing a battle with a poisoned mind. A man so desperate to protect his hope. Together we were star-crossed lovers separated by the Capitol's games. The lovers of District Four, Finnick Odair and Annie Cresta, seemed so far away. They were kids that I knew once upon a time, but they couldn't have their happily ever after. I couldn't save him. I couldn't save me. I could only watch us survive...if we did. And that would have to be enough for now.