He Dreams He's Awake: Stars.

Everyone watched me. The hospital attendants threw away the rope Annie had given me. I broke a lot of equipment that day. It was one of my worst moments in Thirteen. Everyone watched me sympathetically.

I eventually found another piece of rope to twist and knot. The motions reminded me of her, and it was the only way I still felt connected to her. I missed her so much. I still saw her in my dreams. I still reached out for her. My hands were restless when I wasn't keeping busy. Sitting in a hospital bed didn't provide a lot of work to be done. Sometimes, I would sit and talk to other patients, but most of them were wounded and silent. A lot of times, I would talk to my doctors, if the sedatives didn't send me drowning in unconsciousness. There was a little girl who helped her mother work on patients. She was pretty and kind. She had a gentle smile and a focus that I only recognized in one other person in District Thirteen. Prim, Katniss' little sister would often check on me and ask me how I felt. She was a kind ear, but she didn't stay for long. She was advised not to since I was now seen as a menace to all medical personal.

The hospital wing was a dark place. Without anything to keep my mind off her, I often drifted around thoughts of Annie and feelings of guilt and regret. I became a man obsessed. I couldn't stay there.

Over the weeks, I was desperate to get into battle. If I could only be distracted by any other way, it would be an invited opportunity.

When I heard Katniss was going into Eight, I begged to go with her. Several of the guards stopped me, and it wasn't until the order came directly from Coin that I lost hope. I wandered the halls in agitation. When I saw her and an Officer standing outside an elevator I had to stop them. She was the mockingjay, she could tell them to let me go. "Katniss, they won't let me go! I told them I'm fine, but they won't even let me ride in the hovercraft!" I shouted, hoping she saw it as an injustice.

I knew when she looked at me; she doubted the state of my mind. She was nicer though, unlike Coin who dismissed me immediately. "Oh, I forgot. It's this stupid concussion. I was supposed to tell you to report to Beetee in Special Weaponry. He's designed a new trident for you."

It was an awful lie, but anything that involving weaponry I wanted to see. "Really? What's it do?" I asked. I didn't know how a trident could be recreated and named special, other than painting it a fancy color or wielding it in gold.

She shrugged, "I don't know. But if it's anything like my bow and arrows," She held up the immaculate pieces, "You're going to love it." She said with a kind smile I had never seen from her. Katniss was a grimace-and-bear it kind of person, so a smile was a nice change. "You'll need to train with it, though."

I smiled slightly, "Right. Of course. I guess I better get down there."

I turned but she stopped me, "Finnick? Maybe some pants?" She suggested with a smirk.

I looked down at my legs completely forgetting I was dressed in a hospital gown. I chuckled a little, remembering Katniss' shyness around pant less men. Then I remembered Annie and the night I gave her that ring. I remembered how she blushed and giggled…how beautiful she was, how the sun set on her tan skin that night. I wish I could relive that. I shook my head and instantly whipped my hospital gown off, standing in my underwear, like with Annie. "Why? Do you find this distracting?" I asked, posing in the same poses. Katniss laughed and giggled, and it was almost like Annie was with me. The elevator appeared.

"I'm only human, Odair," She said as she stepped in with the Officer.

I heard Annie's voice in that sentence and I almost thought it would destroy me. But instead, I tried to shake it off and went down to Special Weaponry. Killing things, even if they were only targets would be better than the consumption of Annie Cresta and her knot tying.

Once my "training" was complete, I was sent back to the hospital ward. Soon enough, I woke up to find Katniss in the ward with me. I walked to her bed and ate dinner with her while we watched the newest piece of propaganda she shot earlier in Eight. I didn't say much…there wasn't much to discuss on it. "People should know that happened," I told her. She watched the screen blankly. "And now they do."

"Let's turn it off Finnick, before they run it again." She said. I reached for the remote but she stopped me when the Capitol anthem began to play. She didn't have to stop me though. My hand froze as I stared, waiting for any news on their prisoners. It was Peeta…only Peeta. My heart sank as my fist plunged into leg. I couldn't let Katniss see how annoyed I was that only Peeta showed up on the screen. After all, she was the face of the rebellion; they knew to torture her first. It was more effective. My mind buzzed with questions and envy. I just wanted a glimpse of her. A tiny glimpse for hope…until a terrible thought crept into my mind. I wished she were dead.

I watched the screen and then turned to Katniss. She looked horrified. There was something different about Peeta tonight. He looked worse than the first interview. He questioned the rebellion and there was a fire in his eyes. A rage tore through me as I thought about the lives at stake and all us as rebels had sacrificed, but I kept quiet. I turned off the television. If they knew we saw it…they would keep us here forever. They would hide us. They would do anything to make sure we didn't get better, to give us reason to not rescue them. I gripped her arm, "We didn't see it."

She stares at me, confused. "What?"

"We didn't see Peeta. Only the propo on Eight. Then we turned the set off because the images upset you. Got it?" Peeta's words would take us out of action. I would never be able to save her with that fool on the screen. Katniss would plunge into the despair Annie and I met constantly. That couldn't happen. "Finish you dinner." I commanded. They ran in, so I started a new conversation with her. "Gale looked nice on camera…why don't you?" She laughed, but only half-heartedly. I didn't blame her. We didn't talk about Peeta.

No one did for days. Katniss and I went out into the woods. It was the only thing they let me do besides train with Beetee. "I haven't heard one word about it. No one's told you anything?" I asked, considerably worried. "Not even Gale?" But she didn't speak. She only shook he head and watched the sparse woods. "Maybe he's trying to find a time to tell you privately." It's obvious she's stuck in her own mind. It's how I was when Annie went into the Games, but I had more of a purpose then than we do now.

When I went back to my bed, I was consumed by thoughts of her. But I preferred it, to the idea of forgetting her. I just wish I had been stronger for her. I wish I had a moment with her. I wish I could relive every moment back in Four with her. I wondered where she was. I wondered what she thought of me. I wondered if she still loved me. I wondered if she was stable. Was she safe? Was she in trouble? Did they hurt her? Did they try to make her hate me? How were they going to use her against me next?

I missed her. I wanted so desperately for her to be beside me. I needed her. I, Finnick Odair, never needed anyone as much as I needed Annie. She was my only family left. She was the one who held my ring close to her heart. She was the one who knew how to make me smile and ache at the same time. She was the one who loved me at my best and longed for me at my worst. I needed her.

I daydreamed about her on our private bank back in Four always, during training, during tests, during rebel meetings. I learned to focus better, even with her suffering in the back of my mind. I had to fight for her.

I found a lot of Annie in Katniss and that gave me some comfort. But Katniss was trapped in her own cage of torment dished out from the Capitol. I was just her anchor.

They were working on getting our propos to reach the Capitol. Beetee was able to hack into their systems, in time to interrupt one of Peeta's interviews. A clip of me talking about Rue played on the screen. I frowned at the sight of me, at the memory of Rue, but it was quickly over as the Capitol took over again. The small instance of victory, diminished. I stayed quiet, my hand clamped to Katniss'. I zoned in on the broadcast.

Peeta looked pained, "Katniss…how do you think this will end? What will be left? No one is safe. Not in the Capitol. Not in the districts." His mad ramblings were right. "And you…in Thirteen…" Peeta watched the screen, taking in a sharp breath. "Dead by morning!" The broadcast cut.

The room became silent, and then chaos.

…

I didn't talk anymore. I didn't sleep. I stopped crying. I only thought of him. The ring on my finger was a constant reminder. Even when my mind began to fall in the dark depths of reality, I focused on remembering the handsome man who was once my fiancé. I remembered his perfect sea green eyes when they stared at me. His auburn hair, and smile, flawless. He was mine once upon a time, and I, a bedraggled creature, used to be his.

"Annie?" His voice called out to me.

I looked at Peeta, beaten and forced into misguided hatred. I was the last of people in his world he trusted, but he was a person I couldn't bring myself to rely on. I didn't answer.

"You never went mad, did you?" He asked. It was an odd question. I sank back into my corner, only to feel his blue eyes gazing at me.

I shook my head. "No." My voice croaked. "Not then." I told him, drawing patterns into the floor.

I expected our conversation to end, like it normally would have, but he was persistent today, "When?" He asked, his eyes shifting wildly for answers, "When did you break?" There was a fear hidden in the blue.

I didn't look at him. I didn't want to see his pathetic expression or the reflection of my own pitied face swimming in his eyes. "Whenever I had to leave him," I told him quietly.

He asked for our story and leaned against the cold wall. But I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to tell him the secrets of Finnick's relationship and mine. I was quiet for a long time. "Please Annie?" He begged in a whisper.

I shrugged, still focused on the floor's grim, "I fell in love with him when we were young." My voice was small, nothing above a whisper when I spoke about Finnick. Sometimes when I talked about him, I would lose sight of where I was or who I was with and end up singing an old song or reciting lines from old stories my mother taught me a long time ago. They were really the only things I remembered from my childhood now, love stories, stories of loss and heartbreak.

"Was it love at first sight?" He asked, chuckling slightly. Most people in love with Finnick were accused of that. He was handsome there was no denying it. He was a face you could dream about, but no. It was his famed beauty or his haughty smile that won me. When I saw him for who he really was, yes, when the masks and disguises melted away, and I caught my first glimpse of the real Finnick Odair…yes.

I smirked, shaking my head. "Yes. And no," I answered with a small sigh. It wasn't that simple. Peeta didn't understand. "We were young and stubborn. Did you love Katniss right away?" I asked, not wanting to speak of Finnick anymore. Saying his name aloud was torturous. It was like every time I mentioned him or even whispered his names, I was losing a small piece of him. As if, the thought of him could be taken away so easily. But I did think of him constantly. His eyes, his smile, his touch. I missed his hands, their rough, calloused feel…gentle and protective. I missed the way he looked at me or talked to me. I missed the way he made me laugh, intentionally or not.

Peeta gulped, engulfed in his own thoughts and memories of the girl he had once loved so much, "Yes." He said finally.

I moved away from my wall, inching closer to the small space between our cells, "Do you still love her?" I asked, now pulling my knees to my chest.

He shook his head staring absentmindedly at the ground, "She's not my Katniss anymore."

I frowned, knowing what they were telling him. They were going to turn him against her, and they already began. I could only help him see the dangers of trusting the Capitol, hoping he'd learn from Finnick's mistakes and mine. You can't negotiate with the Capitol. "You can't trust the Capitol Peeta," I told him quietly.

He stared up at the high, cracked ceiling. "They're going to kill us."

But I knew better, "They won't. They can't kill us Peeta…" I told him, leaning against the bars that separated us, I grabbed his hand, patting it reassuringly. "They need something to hang on to. They need their bait." The truth was almost as bad as the idea of us dying at the hands of Snow.

"Their bait?" He asked, lifting an eyebrow.

I sighed, "That's what we are to those in Thirteen. That's how they use me against Finnick." The consequences of my decisions sometimes overwhelmed me so much I would starve myself and sleep for days at a time. If I thought Finnick was hurting, I would stay awake for days, but once my body wore from exhaustion I couldn't bring myself to come out of whatever hell my mind put me. "I should have left earlier…I should have gone into hiding. I should have died." I muttered my ramblings as to reprimand myself, hoping Peeta hadn't heard, but he did.

"Why did you stay with him?" He asked, eyes pained with sympathy like before.

The answer was obvious. I shrugged. Why did he continuously try to save Katniss? Why was he here and not in Thirteen, alive and well? Why did I think I could ever save us? "Sometimes when you're in love, you make stupid decisions."

He smiled a little. "I guess so, yeah." He put his head in his hands. Peeta, the poor boy in love. I watched him with a sad smile. It must have been how people felt when they looked at us, Finnick and me.

I stared at him, hoping he'd remember his love for the girl on fire. He didn't look up. I grabbed his hand again, giving it a squeeze. "But that's the point of being in love," I said with a soft, foolish smile. "Making the decision to love that person every day, no matter the consequences…and that's what I did. And I don't regret that." I told him quietly. Peeta had a small beam cross his lips, but it was short-lived.

"So why did you go mad?" He asked, whisper resounding against the old walls.

I looked at my fingers as they trembled. The golden ring still shone on my left hand. I turned my hand over and studied the ring's beauty, "Because I watched him fall apart. Slowly," I said, remembering Finn's trembling when he was desperate to save me. "And then I watched myself follow him shortly after." I said, remembering the lonely nights I spent without him back in Four.

Peeta shook his head. "That's not fair."

I frowned. My hair was falling in my face. "Nothing's fair," I breathed. "Look at you and Katniss."

That seemed to upset Peeta more than I expected. His hand balled into a fist and retracted. "Yeah, a fake marriage, a fake baby…nothing was real there." He laughed bitterly.

"Don't say that," I scolded him quietly. "She loved you." I told him. "It was in the way she looked at you." I remembered it from the Quell. I knew the look well. When she reached her hand out to him at the jabberjay barrier…I knew she desperately loved him more than maybe she even knew. It was familiar. It was how Finnick used to give me every time he left me in Four.

Peeta smirked but it was a look of dejection. "You're an optimist Annie," He muttered.

I shook my head, letting my mind soak in memories of Finnick, letting my heart ache for him. "I'm nothing now Peeta." I said, closing my eyes and falling back into nightmares that never let me go.

Peeta took back my hand. "I'm going to save them," He promised me quietly.

"How?" I whispered, eyes focused on the corner of my cell, mind drowning in madness.

Peeta never answered. Instead, he fell asleep and when the bars clanked against one another, it signaled it was time for his next interview. It was a quiet day. I hadn't left my cell. I just stayed pressed against the wall forgetting a world that had already forgotten me. My trance was broken when I heard the distant cries and screams. Peeta came back, bloodied and beaten. I will never forget the heartbreaking pain of an innocent man's screaming.