This was a super tough chapter to write, so I really hope you enjoy it. It's probably the first chapter I became emotional writing but that might be because I was listening to "Take the World," by: Ascend the Hill while writing and the song has the most beautiful instrumental to it (and the lyrics are amazing) but that always gets to me. It was more religious which isn't really a theme in thg so I stuck with the fray because the fray is amazing. Ok, enough rambling...

PROMO: "Wait for Me." Mockingfire. This story is amazing and I thought it should be announced to my wonderful, beautiful handful of readers. :) Happy Reading!

I Can Barely Say: The Fray.

It's the 76th Hunger Games. That's what this was. Only this time, Katniss was right, Snow was a player. That was the hope. This time he would be destroyed and I would go home to her…that was the goal.

We spent a lot of time traveling. We were on cargo cars packed with soldiers, all worried or just trained to focus on the mission. Either way, there wasn't any talking. We were all quiet and lost in thought, giving me plenty of time to reminisce no matter how much I didn't want to. For once, my mind didn't drift to my sweet Annie who waited for me. It ran to another.

"Hey, Odair," She said when I walked up to her bed in the hospital ward. My memory painted her in a way I almost wish I had distorted, but she looked weak and tired. It was different from what I was used to, but it was how she always looked now. Haymitch said she was troubled. He said she was alone, but that I knew. I remembered her struggle with the Capitol. We all did. It wasn't much different from my story or Annie's, maybe more sad.

I smiled slightly, "Hey. How are you?" I missed her then, even now, and regretted not talking to her as much since we've all been together in Thirteen, hopefully I can make up for that.

She rolled her eyes, then closed them, leaning back into her pillow. "Great. I've got enough morphling to send a small rodent into comatose." That was Johanna, always crass, negative, angry. She was completely opposite from sweet, gentle Annie, and yet I trusted both of them with my life.

I smirked. "So I take it, that's not enough?" I asked, lifting my brow to her.

She chuckled coolly. "You're a smart one Odair. How's the wifey?" Johanna asked, tapping the bag of medicine that dripped into her arm.

A question I was hoping she'd ask. Johanna wasn't heartless, no matter how she liked to portray it. I knew then my agenda was well targeted. "She's fine I suppose," I told her, taking a seat next to her. "Still a little shaken?" I asked kindly. We never had a conversation like this. It wasn't our taste. My vulnerability belonged to Annie and her only.

Johanna frowned with a cold stare. "That's what the Capitol does to Victor's, Odair. You know that." The ruthlessness left her eyes and the new Johanna came back.

"That'll be over soon enough." I told her sternly.

She bit the inside of her cheek, balling her hand into a fist. "You're going with them aren't you? The Star Squad to the Capitol?" There was a tremor of fear in her sardonic voice, but she didn't waver. The clearest part of the memory was how different Johanna was. Maybe that was my perspective distorting the actuality of what happened, but she was different. She was almost needy at a point, whether she'd ever admit it or not.

"Yeah I'm sorry you couldn't go." I told her. We all knew what this meant to her though…

She shrugged, faking indifference, like I would have. "Yeah, you and me both, I wanted to send an axe through Snow's head…guess you'll have to do that for me with your pretty boy throw. Think you can handle that?" She asked with another smirk, running her hands over her face. She looked up at me again and watched me quietly. I didn't speak, just glanced at the empty metal chairs on the other side of her. I had been her only visitor. "Not going to tell her?" She asked me finally. It broke me from my trance.

"Not if I can help it." I told her honestly, which I remember the guilt in the pit of my stomach, knowing that would be the worst of the secrets I've ever attempted to keep from her.

Johanna nodded though, "Good plan. I wouldn't tell her either."

I ran my hands through my hair, a little less than distressed. "I should though Jo. I really should." I knew Annie would have forgiven me if I came home, but even still…what if I don't come home?

"You and I both know that'd be a bad idea. She's not right Finnick." Johanna said, staring at the wall, "She hasn't been for awhile." Sometimes I forgot Johanna and Annie were trapped together. Sometimes I forgot Johanna had been a victim of the Capitol just like the rest of us.

"She's not going to be ok if I don't come home from this mission," I told her, shaking my head.

"You'll come home."

I shook my head, still thinking of Annie. My wording had to be careful, planning my goodbye to Annie while saying my goodbye to Johanna became difficult. They were two different people, strong in different ways…and I was asking something from both of them. "There's really no guarantee in that."

"No. But I know you Odair…you always find a way out of tricky situations." Johanna told me, picking the dirt from her nails.

I had to ask now. "Will you promise me something?" Johanna looked up to me, half dazedly, half focused. "If…If I don't come back, will you…will you please just be there for her?" She looked uneasy. "I'm all she has left Jo. She needs someone." Johanna wasn't convinced, she wasn't used to Annie, or people for that matter. Johanna was alone. "You need someone too."

She frowned, shaking her head with a hard glare, "I don't take care of people Odair. You know that too."

I shook my head, thinking she misunderstood. "You don't need to. You don't need to baby her. She's still there." I said desperately.

"How much of her do you think is left Finnick?" She snapped angrily, "If you recall, I was there with her. She was barely holding on then and she's almost gone now. She might have been pretending before, but she's not pretending anymore Finnick. She's gone." She said the last sentence, every syllable pronounced to a tee.

Anger and desperation briefly consumed me. It was terrifying how vulnerable we had all become, all of us weak and at the mercy of the enemy and the "friend", "She's not! She's still here. And she needs someone! Please, I'm begging you."

But Johanna shook her head again, "I don't take care of people Odair."

It was wrong to manipulate her this way, I knew Johanna better…maybe it had been my anxiety. I stood up from my cold, metal chair and began to walk away. I stopped to turn and look at her, "Do one selfless thing, for once, maybe your life will be worth something." I spat.

"You take that back!" She roared so loud the nurses in the ward started to rush towards us. I stopped them, ushering them away with a glance and the wave of my hand.

"Say we have a deal," I sat back down and stared her in the eye. Her dark brown eyes were wide open and terrified, welling with tears.

"Why don't you stay?" She asked in a strained, angry voice.

I stared at my old friend, "Because I'm going to destroy what broke her..." I said with the same ferocity that Johanna was familiar. I grabbed her hand and tried to regain the unknown kindness between us, "She's not the only one who needs a family anymore."

She shot up, tears streaming down her face now. The feeling of guilt and regret for reminding Johanna of her past will forever haunt me. The truth of that day will always stay in my memory as I was forced to face the reality of what created the angry, fierce Johanna Mason. "I gave away everything to try to keep them safe! When I became weak, they died. I'm weak Finnick. I don't know if you've noticed…but all the charades we put on, you, me, Annie, Haymitch, Katniss, Peeta…they used against us. They dissolved those and they've devastated us! I can't take care of her because I can't be strong for her! I can't even be strong for me." I shouldn't have asked, but Annie needed her…and essentially, she needed Annie.

"I just need you to be her friend Jo…Like you've been mine." I said quietly, trying to recover from my insensitivity.

She frowned, but accepted my unsaid apology. "You're so stupid," She muttered bitterly. "Don't get yourself blown up Odair."

"Don't murder your nurses Mason." I quickly kissed her on the forehead. "Just consider it. Talk to her…she's not far gone. You'll see."

Johanna Mason's memory was with me for such a brief time. I knew she would keep her word. She had to make the promise…I couldn't have left if she hadn't. The rest of my free thoughts belonged to Annie. I replayed our last night together in my mind every second I could. When we arrived at the rebel encampment, I took my assignments, which included waiting. So we all sat around, talking some, shooting some scenes for Cressida and her crew, and thinking. There was a lot of time to think.

"There's always a goodbye." Her voice rang out in my mind. I could see her now. Perfect even in the dim lighting of our compartment. Her tiny frame swaddled in a white nightgown, her long dark hair, draped over her shoulders. She was beautiful. The feel of her lips, soft and gentle against mine, she was never commanding, never greedy. She was innocent and pure, unlike the Capitol women. Her touch reminded me of her goodness, kept my mind with her.

"I know love. I'm sorry," I told her, as I finished the last of my notes, I had written in the small journal they had supplied me as a rebel leader. I placed the book on top of the dresser like I usually do.

She sat on our bed, "Come here," She called quietly. I did as she said, letting myself fall into her arms. God, I miss her touch. I miss the way she ran her hands through my hair and the way she held me against her heart. She wrapped her arms tightly around me that night, and refused to leave me. Her mind was sharp. She fell down onto the bed, pulling me with her. She kissed my lips softly, letting her hand graze over my cheek, "I wish I could go with you."

It was easier being away from her in the field, especially when the most we did was extra field training. I became involved with my surroundings, just to keep my mind off her. But I was there with her, back in Thirteen every moment they left me alone. It was Katniss or Boggs who usually dragged me away from the memory of my sweet Annie.

Katniss would beg me to talk to Peeta for her, to help him distinguish the real from the not real. It was my neither favorite, nor least favorite task of the mission. Peeta actually reminded me a lot of Annie, which was unfortunate because I never really liked him. It was helping him relearn what reality was and what was created to ensure his downfall that granted me a new perspective. I did the same with Annie, and she with me. Peeta was no different from the rest of us…maybe more tragic. At sixteen, he fell in love, had his life threatened, survived, and then started all over again at seventeen…but this time he lost his love, he was thrown into captivity, and he was forced into madness. I didn't much care for him, but I couldn't help but empathize with him. We were all broken now.

Focusing on Katniss and Peeta only drove me to memories of my wife, but I was on a mission and I had to focus.

"Action!" Cressida called. We carefully advanced down the smoky street. Gale struck a pod and we all took cover when a storm of bullets sweeps over us. We moved forward. The other troops laughed at the terrible acting jobs of Katniss and Mitchell. I smiled, but I'm with her.

"I'm coming home to you Annie." I whispered to her, supporting her hovering body. My hands wrapped around her waist, fingers pressed against her ribs. Her hands searched my face and she kissed me until she grew weary, and then collapsed against my chest.

She buried her face into my chest, her skin was smooth against mine, "Don't make promises you can't keep Finn…please." She whispered in the night. She placed her lips over my heart, as a tear shed, sliding down her nose and stopping at her lips. I kissed her, tasting the ocean.

"Shh…Shh…" I breathed, running my fingers through her hair. She was the sweetest comfort of my soul and I hated to see her break. She stayed with me though, "I know you don't like this…"

A bomb rang. Boggs was down. Screams and blood spattered stones tear me from her. I ran towards Boggs and Katniss, but another explosion went off, sending me hurtling through the air. I landed on my feet, but found others not as lucky. Messalla, who slammed into a brick wall, was unconscious on the ground. He came to and prepared for the retreat. A black, oily substance started spouting out into the street. I saw it first. "Move! Move! Move!" I screamed as Jackson calls for retreat. Growing up in Four, any oil leak was lethal and threatened our way of life. We had to run. I was the fastest, even with Messalla in my arms. We invaded a house where we rushed to cover any crack in the home, to avoid fumes. "Give me that towel!" I shouted over the deafening war sounds. I found Katniss. Boggs is dead. "We need to get out of here. Now. We just set off a streetful of pods. You can bet they've got us on surveillance tapes." I told her.

After a power struggle between Jackson and Katniss, we moved on. I adjusted Peeta's mask to protect him from the poisoned air. We ransacked a row of apartments for shelter. We were found out and identified over news reports. They knew we were coming. Now it was time to hide. We were out of moves and our only suggestion came from our struggling soldier, Peeta. "Our next move…is to kill me." We tried to reassure him. We told him Mitchell's death wasn't his fault, but it's hard to bring back the pure. We camp in the apartment for only a little while. Its décor haunted me, reminding me of my past. I forced myself to go back to her, but I was trapped in regret.

"How many times do I have to feel this?" Annie cried, sitting on the edge of the bed, sheets wrapped around her.

Her head was in her hands, and she wept. I wrapped my arms around her, "What darling?"

"The feeling of letting you go?" She whimpered, "How many times do I have to imagine your death or wonder when you're coming back? Or…or say goodbye? I'm always so scared Finn…I'm so scared of losing you." Her small hands wrapped around my face and she kissed me, this time with a different passion than the last, "But I've never even truly had you."

My hands enclosed around her cheeks, fingertips hooked behind her ears, "I am yours Annie, but…" I whispered to her. Remembering her made me regret leaving her.

And although I expected her anger, she was more accepting that night. "But you have to go. You have to fight." She breathed.

"For our future," I said, pushing her hair back.

"I know." She nodded, "Finnick, I have to tell you…"

I stopped her, "What happened to no goodbye confessions?" This would be our perfect one yet. One last, perfect goodbye, we could have all of each other instead of all of my obscure promises and secrets. She could have all of me and I could have a perfect, untarnished memory of her.

A small smiled crossed her tear-stained face, "I think we've had enough waiting…" She said. She looked up at me, touched my face, and then kissed me again. "I'm pregnant Finn," She whispered to me. I will never be able to describe that feeling. My perfect wife with child, my child…the elation there…the sorrow if…

We moved on. We decided the sewer was our best option. We made good time muddling through the sewers of the Capitol. I stayed alert, but my mind would occasionally drift back to her. I missed her so much.

She nodded with a solemn smile. Her smile was breathtakingly beautiful. She was the most stunning creature I've ever come to know. She was my Annie, "You have to fight for our future," She commanded me. "For our little one." I kissed her, letting my lips sweep over her: her cheek, her nose, her lips, her jaw, her neck, her collar, her chest, and finally her stomach. I didn't want to part from her, not at all. She pulled me back to face her, focusing on my lips, "My brave, wonderful Finnick," She kissed me sadly, molding into me.

"You're so beautiful," I hated myself for not saying more to her, but I could barely say what I wanted. She seemed so sad, "Hey…" I told her, "This is the last time. I promise." I kissed her letting my hands rake over her. "I'm coming home to both of you." I told her, cradling her in my arms.

She laid her head against my chest; she had the sweet scent of the ocean still on her hair and skin. How I missed the ocean. "You have to." She said quietly. "Finn, I love you so much."

I held her desperately. Letting her go was the biggest mistake I've ever made. I cleaved to her, taking in her body, her touch, her laugh, her smile, her everything. I didn't want to forget a second of her. Never again. "I love you too my darling." I should have never left. "More than you could ever imagine. I love you." I held her close. Her mind was with me. Her body was with me. Finally, we could be together and I was leaving again. "I'm coming home," I whispered, reassuring her sanity, "Wait for me."

"Always." That was the last I heard from Annie. Her beautiful voice, her gentle touch, gone, back in Thirteen. I should have never left.

The grace period ended.