Winter: Noah Gundersen.

It was weird not waking up next to Finnick. The bed was cold. The room was cold. The cold weather was moving in and I couldn't help but think that this would possibly be my future, my forever. But Finnick said he'd come home. He'd always come back to me. This couldn't be the exception. So, I waited. Waiting was tough.

Sometimes they called me unwell. They said I was waiting on nothing. That's what they told me. Some of the citizens were hopeful though. Delly was. Johanna tried to be. They were the only company I had in District Thirteen. But even Delly fell away when I was drowning in my own thoughts. Johanna was all I had left, and why she chose to stick around me, I'd never know. She never gave me a straight answer.

The People of Thirteen were protective at least. No one would let me watch the television. They kept me away from the news. They guarded me. "He'll be back Annie." They would reassure me. And it took everything I had to believe them. Sometimes I'd fall into spells I couldn't escape. They'd call for Dr. Jacobs and when she couldn't talk sense into me, they'd sedate me. They stopped trying to force medication on me when I went into hysterics over my unborn child.

"They're going to kill my baby!" I screamed in the hospital ward, restrained. I tried to come back, but I was lost, only aware of Johanna who sat by my side.

"Shh! Shh Annie! You're safe." She told me, but I was slowly losing my mind. I couldn't go back to my compartment. I hated the small room more each day. It reminded me of him. The winter state of things chilled me to the bone and I could never find warmth. So I started spending my nights in the hospital ward in Johanna's company. She would visit me often and we would drown together in silence. At least in that, I became more stable.

When I refused to go back to my compartment, they brought the few belongings we had to me. My wedding dress was wrapped with Finnick's suit in a long white sheet. There was the old, worn rope that Finnick used to weave. I was the only one tying knots now. My ring was given back to me when they realized I couldn't hurt myself with it. And his notebook…we didn't have much. They brought me books to read from the District Library. A lot of it was about Thirteen and Panem. But some were old stories I remember. When I became bored with those and after Johanna left, I picked up Finnick's old journal. I leafed through it only to find notes on the rebellion, doodles, some little quips he found funny, some things he wanted to remember and then a small folded piece of paper addressed to me. I picked it up with trembling hands.

I shouldn't read it. I told myself, but my curiosity grew. It was mine after all. I unfolded the crumpled slip of paper.

"Waste not, want not. Right?" Was written after the first line was crossed out completely. I smiled, almost hearing Finnick's chuckle as I read on.

"My beautiful wife, Annie,

I wanted to leave you something to hold to in case this mission took longer than expected. Firstly, I need you to forever remember, my heart is yours alone. There are so many things I want to write to you…but in Thirteen you're granted only so many sheets of paper. So, I'll tell you what I really want you to know.

Don't be scared, my love. I know this is terrifying, I know make promises I can't ever seem to keep…but don't be scared. You're stronger than you remember. You took the chances and made the sacrifices very few people ever do. You've loved and fought and you're going to be ok. I know you.

When things get hazy, remember the ocean. Go home to Four when you can. Swim and always come back to the shore. Stare up at the stars. Tell your children the stories of sailors, mermaids, of Thomas, my one true threat but last real friend, of our families, of Mags, and of me…because this mission may take longer than expected.

Don't let your demons take you. Don't let them tell you I was never real. Don't let them tell you I never loved you. Because darling, there aren't enough words for me to express how much I love you, and how desperate I am for you, even when I'm right beside you. I need you to be ok. I need you to smile because I can't live without your perfect smile.

You're so beautiful. I can't tell you it enough. I wish I had told you more. I'll always regret that.

Lover, I may not come home…but I will always think of you. You will always be my first thought in the morning and my last at night. You are the owner of my heart, the only woman I have ever and will ever love. Leave, but always come back, please. Tell your children of this love, maybe not our story, but at least yours. Your never-ending, unfailing, unconditional love…I'm sorry I didn't see it earlier.

I still remember it. When I fell in love with you…after that night, I often found myself trying to list off reasons to ignore it, but the lists grew shorter every day and then nonexistent. Even in fighting…But that was us I guess…Our story wasn't perfect, but the way you love me is…I never deserved it.

I'm sorry I was so slow to admit I loved you back. Protecting you wasn't a good enough excuse…because they sent you to your death anyways. God, you didn't deserve that. You are so good. I shouldn't have left you, or I should have fought harder.

I'm so sorry for abandoning you. Then and now, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the times I left. I'm sorry for the things I didn't tell you and for some of the things I said. I'm sorry I ran away from you and I let you crumble in silence. You deserved more than that. You deserve more than me. So...thank you for seeing whatever you do see in me. I should be with you right now. I'm sorry for this...for breaking my promise. I'd much rather be with you, holding you in our bed than sharing a tent with eight other men. I miss you so much already, my beautiful wife. I love you dear Annie. Don't forget me darling. I'll be back soon lover.

Love forever,

Your sorry husband, Finnick."

I wept. I read it again. My tears stained the page. My heart ached for him. The winter was closing in on Thirteen, encasing my heart in cold. All things pass with time, but this was a storm that might stay with me forever. I curled up in my hospital bed wrapping the sheets tightly around me. My thoughts dwelled around him, praying for him, if there was anything to pray to. I silently begged for him to come home…for us to go home and back to the warmth and hope of the sun. But those dreams slipped away. I fell into a deep sleep, one hand clutching my stomach, the other holding my heart. I only dreamt of the ocean waves and the woman of the sea. I kept waiting.