Chapter 5: In Which Sir Gwaine Can't Remember a Thing and Maid Merlin Sees Fit to Remind Him

When Gwaine woke up, the second thing he realized was that he didn't remember a thing from the night before. But that was only after he noticed his incredibly sharp headache. He reached his mind back to the day before, trying to recall what had happened.

He remembered buying flowers and giving them to Merlin.

Then he had gone to training, where he had asked Arthur if Merlin could have the afternoon off, so she could have lunch with him.

That had certainly been interesting.

He picked up his sword, ready to train with Arthur, but held up his hand before Arthur could start.

"You're not backing out on me, are you, Gwaine?" Arthur goaded.

Gwaine snorted. "Never. I'm just letting you know that Merlin'll be taking the afternoon off tomorrow for lunch."

That was as close to asking permission as Gwaine would ever come.

Arthur didn't answered him immediately. Instead, he came at Gwaine with a sword, his surprise advantage allowing him to unbalance Gwaine and topple him to the ground. As Gwaine looked up at Arthur, who was holding his sword at his throat, Arthur smiled.

"Of course she can," he said. "But let me make myself perfectly clear."

Here he squatted, so that he could look Gwaine in the eye, and lowered his voice. "You may be a knight, and my friend- sometimes. However, if you harm Merlin in any way, I will not hesitate to feed you to the others."

Gwaine looked at the Percival, Elyan, and Lancelot. Percival flexed his arms subtly, Elyan fiddled with his mace, and Lancelot finished sharpening his sword. Gwaine smiled wryly and waved at them.

The next thing he knew he was being hauled up by his shirt front to stand in front of Arthur, who looked oddly contemplative. "Or maybe my wife. It'll be up to you."

Gwaine shuddered, knowing that he'd take the knights any time. There was nothing worse than an angry Guinevere.

Gwaine snorted to himself as he pulled on his clothes. He had been surprised by Arthur's display, but looking back, he really shouldn't have been. Not that Arthur would ever admit it, but he knew what he and Merlin were good friends, and that she was also incredibly close to the rest of the knights.

The only thing that Gwaine should have been surprised about is that Arthur chose to confront him in such a public place.

Still, he didn't really remember what had happened after that. He remembered dinner, then, talking to Lancelot about Ollie...

Ah, that was it.

Gwaine now remembered talking to Lancelot about Ollie and then, having been reminded far too much of his own little brother, he had headed off to the tavern.

There was a funny thing about himself that Gwaine had learnt early on: once he drank past a certain amount (and really, it was quite the amount), Gwaine began acting less drunk and more sober. It was a startling effect, Elyan had once told him

"At one point you're the most drunk man I've ever seen," his friend had snorted, "Then, a few drinks later, you're acting perfectly normal, almost sane."

It wasn't often that Gwaine let himself get to that point, though. Contrary to popular opinion, he wasn't a complete idiot. He loved his drink, but he had seen enough men die from blood-alcohol poisoning to know his limit, and that was it. Still, he had been desperate to drown his memories last night, and it seemed to have worked. He barely remembered making it back to his room-

And Merlin had been there-?

And then going to sleep.

Shaking his thoughts away, and now dressed, Gwaine headed for the kitchens. He had a lunch to prepare- alright, so he hadn't exactly asked Arthur for the morning off, but he doubted he would mind. Even if he did, there honestly wasn't anything he could do about it, Gwaine smirked.

It took him several hours and plenty of help from the cooks and, alright, maybe he cheated a bit and stole dessert, but he doubted Merlin would mind too much.

Or, at least, she'd mind it less than if he were late.

Which he almost was.

He had to run to Gaius's quarters. Thankfully, when he got there, knocked, and poked his head inside, he found only Gaius there, working on something or other.

"Hello, Gaius," Gwaine said, stepping inside.

Gaius looked up and nodded, wiping his hands. "Ah, Gwaine. Hello. Merlin will be down in a moment. She's just getting ready."

Gwaine raised his eyebrows at this (it wasn't like Merlin to pay too much attention to what she wore, but he dropped it, because, not that he'd ever admit, he'd taken a bit of time to pick out his clothes this morning, too). "That's fine. I'll wait."

He set the picnic basket down and sat down in one of the chairs. He and Gaius waited in a comfortable silence, Gwaine watching Gaius's every move, not really having much else to occupy his time.

Gaius broke the silence. "Would you mind passing me the small blue bottle over on the counter."

Gaius gestured to a small counter to his right, so Gwaine got up. He quickly found the bottle Gaius meant: small and blue, it was labeled "Aconite."

He gave it to Gaius and asked, "What is that?"

"It's called Aconite," Gaius said innocently. "Wolfsbane, to some. It's perhaps the most deadly poison I own."

Gwaine self-consciously wiped his hands on his trousers. The last thing he needed was for some of the poison to get on the picnic food. Dying wasn't really a suitable activity for a first date- or any date, really.

"And you're using it to-?" Gwaine asked hesitantly.

"When used correctly, it can be used as a sedative or pain reliever," Gaius told him. "I am very careful with my supply, obviously."

"Of course," Gwaine said quickly, as Gaius walked past him to put the bottle away.

Gaius raised an eyebrow. "If something were to happen to Merlin, on the other hand-"

Gwaine frowned, not really liking the idea of anything happening to Merlin. "What do you mean?"

"If she were to be hurt or get sick or, I don't know, have her heart broken, I would be grief stricken," Gaius said easily. Gwaine grimaced, knowing immediately where this was going. "It would be perfectly understandable if I were to lose track of some of the poison. It would be a most unfortunate situation, if the Aconite were to end up in somebody's dinner, but Arthur is a most understanding king, don't you agree?"

"Indeed," Gwaine said weakly.

Gaius nodded. "I'm sure he'd understand- even if it wound up in the places of one of his Knights of the Round Table. Do you understand, my boy?"

"Safe to say I do," Gwaine sighed. He decided that Gaius was very scary, when he wanted to be, and wondered whether or not he had taught Merlin any of the things he knew. She wasn't going to threaten him with poison, too, was she?

"Gwaine! You're here!" Merlin exclaimed, coming down the stairs. Gwaine let out a huge sigh in relief. He didn't think he'd ever been more glad to see her.

Then he turned around and actually saw her.

Gwaine could count on one hand the number of times he'd seen Merlin in a dress and still have five fingers left over, so he thought that he was allowed to be surprised, but it was more than that. The deep purple color of the dress did something for her: it made her hair darker, her skin softer, and her eyes brighter.

She had pulled her hair back, too, something she rarely did, and, when combined with the dress, it brought emphasis to her (lovely) face and long neck and her ears- Gwaine loved her ears, for some strange reason. The dress revealed her figure, which was normally hidden by loose tunics and trousers she wore (not that Gwaine was complaining- Merlin wouldn't be Merlin without them), and was cinched in the middle, showing off a positively tiny waist. Without the neckerchief (Gwaine had never seen her without one), the low neckline of the dress rested on a smooth collarbone and emphasized her-

Necklace.

The one he had given her, that she still wore.

"Are you ready to go?" Merlin asked, completely oblivious to what she was doing to him. He nodded mutely and picked up the picnic basket. Merlin stopped to give Gaius a quick kiss before taking Gwaine's hand and tugging him along, eager to get outside.

Gwaine, still in shock, just let her.

He broke out of his stupor a few minutes later, once it became clear that Merlin expected him to talk to her as they walked. It really was a lovely day, and it seemed as though everybody in Camelot was taking advantage of it. It was incredibly crowded out.

"Don't worry," Gwaine assured her. "I know somewhere where we won't be bothered."

Merlin hummed in agreement, and then asked about his training. In turn, he asked her about working with Gaius, and conversation flowed easily between them.

They made it out to the forest and Merlin took a deep breath of air. Gwaine watched fascinated as she seemed to turn into a different person. Where in the city she was chatty and overflowing with enthusiasm, she calmed here, looking truly relaxed.

Although Merlin was probably one of the most easy going people he had ever met, she always had a look about her that made Gwaine feel as though she was constantly looking over her shoulder, waiting for something to come crashing down on her. Gwaine wondered, but never questioned. Everybody was entitled to their secrets. He himself had done things in the past that he prayed Merlin never found out about.

Here, though, Merlin looked truly at ease, whistling along with the birds, picking flowers, sniffing herbs. It truly was a sight to see.

She noticed him looking.

"I like the woods," she explained. "I mean, I love Camelot, too, but I don't have to hide here. There's nobody to see that I- you know."

Gwaine actually didn't know, but Merlin wasn't looking at him, so she didn't notice his confusion. He saw the tips of her ears and the back of her neck turn red as she smiled softly.

"I'm really glad you don't hate me Gwaine," Merlin said nervously.

Gwaine still had no idea what she was talking about, but he answered her truthfully. "I could never hate you, Merlin."

Merlin laughed nervously, although it was tinged with relief. "That's what Lancelot and Gaius told me last night, when I told them that I wanted to tell you. They said that you'd be happy if I told you, but I was worried you'd be angry if I kept it from you, but I didn't think it was fair to not-"

Merlin suddenly shook her head and grinned at him sheepishly. "I don't know why I'm saying all this again. I explained it to you all last night."

"It's alright," Gwaine said automatically. His head was spinning

Last night?

Last night?

He couldn't remember a thing about last night, but clearly Merlin had come to see him, and told him something important, too. But what? He decided to change the subject. He could always track down Lancelot and ask him, since he seemed to know what was going on.

(Gwaine would have asked Gaius, but he didn't want to risk being poisoned.)

They had walked a ways into the forest when Gwaine pushed back some bushes, allowing Merlin to step through. She did, and froze. Gwaine stepped behind her and looked out in front of them, interpreting her expression to be one of awe at the beauty in front of him: it was a large lake that he had found one day, surrounded by mountains and lovely flowers. It was quiet and peaceful and was so far deep into the forest that they were sure to be undisturbed.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Gwaine asked gently.

Merlin swallowed and, when Gwaine looked, she was blinking back tears. His eyes widened in panic- Oh, dear lord, what, had he done?

"Merlin?" Gwaine asked frantically. "Are you- I mean, what-?"

"I had a friend who died," Merlin said softly, biting her lip. The way she said "friend" made Gwaine a bit suspicious. "He died here and this was where his funeral was."

Gwaine was torn between two emotions: complete sympathy for Merlin (he was no stranger to losing a friend, after all) and complete anger towards himself (what kind of idiot was he, for bringing her here?).

"We can go somewhere else, then," Gwaine said immediately. Merlin looked up at him and frowned. "Or home. You could go home, if you'd like. I'd understand if you-"

Merlin shook her head and rubbed the tears that Gwaine had been trying to ignore from her eyes. "Don't be thick. I like to come here. It reminds me of him. Besides, it's time I had some good memories associated with this like. It really is too beautiful for me to be sad whenever I come here."

Gwaine nodded slowly and placed the basket on the ground, right underneath a tree. He pulled out a blanket and Merlin helped him spread it out.

"You've really thought this through," she said, sounding oddly pleased.

He shrugged. "Today is important."

Merlin caught the implication in his words and blushed. As he turned around to get the sandwiches in the basket, he grinned, accomplished.

Gwaine turned around to give Merlin her food. She had already sat down on the blanket and was leaning back, sun on her face, smiling pleasantly. He sat down next to her and handed her sandwich. He also reached over and pulled out a flask of water and two goblets.

Merlin unfolded the cloth holding the sandwich and eyed it curiously. It was slightly lopsided and looked far too messy to be the cook's usual food. "You made these, didn't you?"

"That obvious?" he asked. Merlin laughed and Gwaine added, "The cook watched the entire time though. She promises that they're edible."

Merlin took his word for it and took a huge bite, chewing thoughtfully, before swallowing. "You pass."

Gwaine took his bite and was relieved to see that they really didn't taste all that bad. After that, the two sat in relative silence, eating. It was getting a bit late in the day for lunch, after all. It had taken them some time to make it to the woods and their walk had given them even more of an appetite.

Soon, though, they had finished, and somehow Gwaine found himself leaning against the tree, legs stretched out in front of him. Merlin lay down across him, her head in his lap, looking up at the tree branches, eyes glazed over as she contemplated something that only she could see.

One of Gwaine's hands went to her hair, pulling it gently from its braid and then running it slowly through his fingers. His other hand was held by her two small ones, over her stomach. She had clasped one of hers in his. The other was tracing the lines on the back of his hand.

He could have stayed like this for the rest of his life, if he were honest. It was a beautiful day and there was a light breeze, the birds singing softly.

Merlin broke the silence. "His name was Frey."

Gwaine looked down at her and she met his gaze. "Your friend?"

"Mhm. He would have loved a day like today. Quiet, peaceful." Merlin said, after another minute, "I was in love with him."

Gwaine was filled with an irrational sort of envy. He felt completely awful and quenched the feeling the moment it arose. Frey had died, leaving Merlin quite clearly heartbroken, and Gwaine was jealous of him.

But- of course he was. Gwaine had been with more than his fair share of meaningless affairs with women, but never had he been in love (not until Merlin, at least). Merlin had been in love, though, deeply in love. And Frey, despite being, well, dead, had gotten to Merlin's heart first, and that was, to Gwaine, something to be jealous of.

"How did he die?" Gwaine asked without thinking.

Merlin's hand stilled, and then she began to tap a steady beat on this palm with her fingers. Gwaine grasped them and started to run his thumb over them. They were small hands, but her fingers were long and calloused because of her hard work for Arthur over the years, in sharp contrast to the softness of the back of her hand, where the skin was smooth and untouched.

"You don't have to tell me," he told her, but she shook her head.

"No, I do," she said finally. "After last night, I promised myself no more secrets. Not from you."

(He really needed to talk to Lancelot, Gwaine decided, and soon.)

"He was killed by- You need to understand that it wasn't his fault," Merlin said finally, after waiting for a moment. For a moment Gwaine thought she meant Frey, but then she added, "He did what he had to do to protect Camelot."

"Who?" Gwaine asked, squeezing her hand reassuringly.

"You mustn't tell him," Merlin continued. "He didn't know that I knew Frey and even if he did do the right thing at the time, I don't think he'd forgive himself."

"Who wouldn't?" Gwaine asked again, although he had a good feeling. There were only a handful of people Merlin would protect the way she was protecting this man, and even less who were capable of killing.

"Arthur," Merlin said softly and Gwaine shifted in shock. "He killed him, but- Frey wasn't himself. I mean, he was, but a sorceress had cursed him to turn into Bastet. At night, Frey wouldn't have any choice: he'd have to kill, he couldn't control it. I tried to get him out, get him away from Camelot, but Arthur-"

Merlin shook her head. "It wasn't his fault. He was protecting Camelot."

"But you miss Frey," Gwaine said gently.

Merlin nodded. "Of course I do. He understood me. For the first time in a long time I felt like I wasn't alone, that there was somebody out there who could understand what it was like to live the way I do."

Gwaine didn't say anything, not sure what Merlin was trying to say.

"I'm more angry at the sorceress who cursed Frey," Merlin admitted. "He didn't deserve it. Frey was so gentle."

Gwaine couldn't really understand just how gentle that man must have been then, to hear Merlin say that about him-Merlin, who gave bunnies to little girls and helps Gaius tend to the sick and wounded and who Gwaine had once seen spend half an hour trying to catch a spider in Arthur's chambers just so she could set it free instead of killing it.

"We were going to run away together," Merlin said thoughtfully, "Me and him. We were going to go off to life in the mountains somewhere, near a lake like this."

"You were going to leave Camelot?" Gwaine asked, feeling an odd tightening in his stomach. Merlin blinked lazily, never taking her eyes off of the lake.

She nodded. "This was ages ago, when I first came to Camelot, really. It wasn't really home yet, I suppose. Not like it is now."

Gwaine felt the tightening in his stomach grow as he imagined what would have happened if Merlin had made it out with him, and, in the darkest corners of his mind, he felt an incredible relief that Frey had died. As ashamed of the thought as he was, he made no attempt to try and deny it. If he hadn't died, Merlin might be with him know. Where would she be? Where would he be? Probably in a tavern somewhere, bedding another random woman, which would have appealed to him before he came to Camelot, before he met Merlin.

Now, though, the thought of being anywhere but here, anywhere but by this lake, on this day, with Merlin laying here with him, Merlin who was starting to mean more to him than any one person should-

"Gwaine?" Merlin asked him softly, looking up at him. Had her eyes always been that blue? "Are you alright?"

Gwaine didn't say anything for a minute. Finally, he rasped, "Oh, screw it!"

His hands moved to frame her face and Merlin's eyes widened as she realized what was about to happen. She didn't make any move to shy away, though, as he lowered himself closer to her.

Closer.

Almost there.

He closed his eyes as his lips met her-

Hair?

He opened his eyes and was met with an eyeful of Merlin's hair. It's not that her hair was unpleasant. It wasn't. It was rather nice, actually. It was still in loose waves from the braid it had been in, and it was soft and smelled like honey.

But what was he going to have to do to kiss this woman?

Without one of them being drunk.

Merlin, who had apparently turned her head when he went to kiss her, didn't seem bothered by any of it.

"Did you hear that?" she demanded.

He shook his head petulantly.

"I was a bit focused on other things," he said honestly. "I'd really like to get back to what we were doing before."

Merlin whacked him in the arm, thinking he was joking (he wasn't.) and sat up. Gwaine sighed.

There went that plan.

"I'm being serious," she scolded. "Listen!"

He did. Just as he was about to admit that he didn't hear anything, he did actually hear something: lowered voices coming through a thicket off to their left. Nobody ever came this far into the woods. It was very strange.

Merlin seemed to agree, since she had already stood up and, crouching, made her way over there. She gently parted the thicket and looked through it. Whatever she saw made her gasp and prompted Gwaine to follow her.

He crept up behind her and peered over her, his chin resting on her shoulder. One of his hands wound around her waist, steadying her. As soon as he saw what Merlin had seen, his other hand went to the hilt of his sword.

Bandits.

There were three of them, huddled around a withering fire, eating something. One of them, a skinny bloke with a massive mop of red hair, let out a burp. Merlin wrinkled her nose.

"So, when's this plan goin' down?" Ginger asked.

The one with the big nose sighed, obviously annoyed. "I told you, didn't I? Tonight."

"That 'nuff time?" asked the third man, who was missing a finger.

"They're movin' it in today, so Bedwyr'll be in place," said Big Nose. Gwaine's eyes widened in surprise. Could it be the same magician he and Merlin had seen only the day before? Gwaine knew he hadn't liked the look of him. "Good thinkin', wasn't it? Signin' on to do this job wif' a magician."

Gwaine grimaced.

"King Arthur won't know what hit him," Nine Fingers chortled happily. Merlin stiffened and her shoulders grew tense beneath his chin. Gwaine himself could feel the hot anger growing in the pit of his stomach.

Contrary to how he might act, Gwaine did actually consider Arthur a friend, never mind that Arthur was king, and a bloody good one, at that. The last thing Gwaine wanted was to see his friend, his king, a man he had sworn to protect, threatened by a group of low-life bandits and a seedy street performer.

"'Course he won't," said Ginger, sounding incredibly confused. Clearly he was the idiot of the group. "He'll be dead."

"Gwaine," Merlin said softly, watching the scene unfold. "We need to warn Arthur."

"We do," Gwaine admitted, but he was reluctant to move. He and Merlin were pressed close together and he could feel the heat radiate off her body. His hand wound a bit more tightly around her waist. "But if I'm honest with you, princess, I really don't want to move right now."

"Good," came a voice from behind them. "So you won't object when I tell you that if you move, you die."

Gwaine and Merlin each jerked around, almost falling on top of each other. Gwaine reached for his sword, but was too late. A blade was held to his throat and a fourth bandit- one that neither he or Merlin had ever seen- was standing over them. "I really wouldn't do that if I were you."

"What's goin' on here?" asked Big Nose, coming in through the thicket. The fourth bandit (a big, beefy, man with an unfortunate combover) nudged Gwaine's chin with the point of his sword.

"We've got some eavesdroppers, looks like."

Big Nose had already pulled out a sword and now held it at Merlin's throat. Combover barked at Gwaine, "I thought I told you to drop that sword."

Gwaine pulled it out of the scabbard and placed it gently on the ground. He may have been willing to bargain with his own life, but not Merlin's.

Never Merlin's.

Combover gestured for them to all walk into the bandits' camp site. Ginger and Nine Fingers stood up in surprise when they saw Merlin and Gwaine being walked into camp. They both pulled out their swords and the four bandits surrounded their two captives, who were forced onto their knees.

Ginger asked. "Who're they?"

"I recognize 'er," Nine Fingers said proudly, pointing at Merlin. "She works for the king! I saw her 'round the castle when I went to stake it out."

"The king?" Combover said from behind Gwaine. "Really? I can only guess what kind o' work she does."

Big Nose snickered.

"Still," Combover mused as he circled around. Gwaine glimpsed the lewd grin on his face and felt sick to his stomach. Merlin looked pointedly away. "You'd think he'd get somebody better lookin'- she's a bit scrawny. He's king, after all. If he's goin' to go through all that trouble of keeping a royal mistress secret from his Queenie, you'd think he'd go for somebody much prettier. She must be hiding something really special underneath that dress. I wonder what it is."

He knelt down to look Merlin in eye. "You mind giving us a peek?"

"I'd rather die," Merlin said sweetly.

"That could be arranged," Combover said.

Merlin made a face. "Please make it soon. I don't know how much more I could stand to look at your face."

Gwaine smirked, but Combover didn't seem to enjoy it. He frowned and brought his sword to Merlin's cheek. Gwaine tensed, but Merlin didn't move, her eyes never leaving his face. "This one's got quite a mouth on her. We could put it to good use later."

He smacked her cheek with the flat of the blade and Merlin stumbled slightly. Gwaine moved to catch her, but Ginger's hair at his throat stopped him. When Merlin sat back up on her knees, Gwaine could see that her cheek was red and would probably bruise later, but she was otherwise unharmed.

All it seemed to have really made her was annoyed. She eyed the bandits calculatingly- all except Combover, who was now standing behind Gwaine. Before he could figure out what she was planning, Merlin's eyes flashed gold and the three bandits in front of them were sucked into the ground.

Sucked into the ground.

Gwaine acted on instinct, grabbed one of the swords they had dropped, stood up, turned around, and ran Combover through. He was dead before he knew what hit him.

That left Gwaine looking at Merlin- Merlin who had magic- who was wiping off her dress and looking pleased with herself.

"Ready to get back to Camelot?" she asked him, as if she hadn't just turned the world on its head. "We need to hurry to warn Arthur."

"You have magic," he stated dumbly. Sure, he may have speculated at times that Merlin had some sort of magical abilities, but it was different to have it confirmed and done right in front of him. Merlin's nose wrinkled in confusion.

"Of course I do," she laughed nervously. "I told you last night."

"You did?" Gwaine said incredulously. So that's what she'd been talking about all morning. Merlin's face fell as she finally realized what had happened.

"You- you don't remember? You were drunk?" she asked weakly. Gwaine nodded his head and Merlin paled considerably. Her eyes fell to the sword he still held in his hand, which was still damp with Combover's blood.

Gwaine dropped the sword immediately. Merlin should never have any reason to look at him like that, like she was scared, like he would hurt her. His hurt must have shown on his face, because Merlin looked at him appeasingly.

"Gwaine," she squeaked. "I'm sorry- I mean, I don't know what to tell you that I didn't say yesterday. I did tell you, honest! I thought it wasn't fair to keep my secret from you any longer and I'm sorry I waited so long, but I need to use my magic to protect Arthur and I can't do that if I'm executed for sorcery-"

"Do you honestly think," Gwaine interrupted, one clear thought, fueled by burning, hot, anger and a cooler, simmering hurt, breaking through his muddled head, "That I would ever do anything to hurt you, Merlin?"

Merlin opened and closed her mouth, before quietly shaking her head. When she spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper. "No, you wouldn't. I'm sorry."

Gwaine looked at her for a minute, trying to understand. Merlin had magic. Merlin had kept it from him, because she was worried that he would hurt her, and apparently she was trying to protect Arthur.

Merlin thought he would hurt her.

Merlin thought he would hurt her.

Out of it all, that was the one thing Gwaine couldn't understand. He had always been Merlin's friend. He had risked his life to help her, because he cared for her, but she didn't seem to understand. Why would she think that her friends would want to hurt her?

Maybe because they did, a voice whispered in the back of his mind, and he suddenly had a glimpse of what it might be like to be Merlin, who served Arthur, their king. The same Arthur who railed against sorcerers and magic and what he would do to any sorcerers he had found.

And Merlin had to listen to it all.

No wonder she had been afraid of Gwaine's reaction. She spent day after day faithfully serving (and protecting, according to her, which explained why Arthur had miraculously escaped attempt after attempt on his life) her king, all the while knowing that if he ever found out who she really was- Well, there was no real telling what Arthur would do at this point.

Gwaine tried to imagine what it would be like to live knowing that there was a good chance that your best friend would hate you if he ever found out your biggest secret. He wouldn't be able to manage it- add onto that that your best friend was the king and that his knights, who were also your friends, had sworn to serve him and uphold his laws, which included laws that would have you killed.

Gwaine didn't know how she stood it, but he knew right now, with Merlin watching him, her face crumpled in worry and hurt, such a huge difference from the normally easy going grin on her face (and how could she be easy going with all that going on?), that he would not add to her burden.

Of all people in the world, she deserved it least.

And hadn't he suspected for a while that Merlin had magic? It was hardly fair of him to criticize her for not coming clean about the matter when he had hardly done the same.

"Apology accepted," he said gruffly. Merlin's expression instantly brightened, although Gwaine could tell that she didn't really understand why he had been so forgiving. Maybe he'd explain it to her one day: that learning she had magic had only reinforced the fact that she was better than he could ever be and he needed that around him, needed it like he needed air, because he honestly didn't want to imagine what his life would be like if he didn't see Merlin's grin around the castle on a daily basis.

The days where Merlin was sad (for whatever reason) were especially hard on him and the knights. It was unnatural, seeing Merlin unhappy.

"We need to get to Arthur," she said suddenly and Gwaine blinked, startled. He had almost forgotten about Arthur, in all honesty. He nodded and Merlin began to lead the way out of the woods, moving much faster than their leisurely pace on their way in.

"I have some questions, though, you know," he called to her, as he ran to catch up. Merlin grinned good-naturedly, looking much more like her old self.

"I thought you would," she said. "When I told you last night, I was really surprised when you didn't ask me anything. I expected you to natter on about it for hours," she teased.

"You'd know all about nattering, wouldn't you, Merlin?" Gwaine joked back.

She smiled again, her eyes crinkling a bit at the corners, which only happened when she was really happy. "What do you want to know first?"

Gwaine thought and thought and thought. Finally he broke into a smile and, completely serious, asked her, "Have you ever tried turning water into mead?"

AN: So Gwaine finally knows! I know some people didn't think Gwaine would freak out if he learned about Merlin's magic and I agree: he's probably one of the most easy going and accepting people in the series. Still, I sort of figured that seeing Merlin use magic in front of him would surprise him just a bit. Hopefully I got that balance right.

On a different note, I think this is probably my favorite chapter, so hopefully you'll like it, too. I'm especially a big fan of Merlin using her (or his, in reference to the cannon) magic to kick-butt (Season 4 finale with Agravaine, anybody?)

More to come in the next chapter (which, incidentally, is the last): fluff, Arthur/Merlin friendship, and, of course, plenty of Gwaine/Merlin.

In the meantime, enjoy!

tinyrose65