My sister and I both returned to school but our relationship was restored. I still went out and looked for him everywhere I went, but now I realized that it was my longing for my sister and the realization that I couldn't hold on to her for the rest of my life. I had to find something else or someone else to build my life around. I also had to find myself. I had to learn to be at peace without my family. I had to become independent.
I worked hard towards this new goal. I had to learn to my own emotions, my own wants and my own needs. It was more difficult than I expected. It was as if I couldn't access all of my emotions, all of myself. I felt suck.
"I'm not sure what I am doing wrong here Emma. I tried, yoga, meditation… Its just hard for me to be in my own mind." I confessed. We talked every day as we used to before our fight.
"Then why don't you try a different sense. Something easier than being in your own mind and accessing the things in your heart." Emma suggested.
"What do you mean?" I asked confused.
"I don't know… Like knew scents, new sounds, and new flavors. Go to a new restaurant and order something completely new. Taste the new flavors, try to figure out what you like about them, what you don't like. Its easier to tease apart the small things before you tackle the big ones." She suggested. I smiled.
"That's actually a really good idea." I told her. She chuckled.
"Don't be so surprised! I'm older, wiser and more fabulous." She told me. I laughed.
"You certainly are." I agreed.
That same week I started on my new assignment. I went to new restaurants around town and tried completely different foods than what I would normally order. I felt the different flavors on my tongue and tried to attach them to previous scents and flavors from my memory. It was an interesting experiment. I found myself sitting for hours at restaurants, savoring the new flavors and scents. Soon, I began to realize that, during those few hours, I was paying more attention to the food than the people around me. I was no longer looking, hunting for him, I was enjoying those precious moments that were all mine.
My new interests also opened the doors to new friendships. Somehow, I became braver. I overhead some girls talking about a new restaurant and I chimed into their conversation. I began to talk to people about the food and my experiences at the different restaurants and it helped me make new friends. I went out to parties and restaurants with my friends more than I went out alone. It was a different experience for me to have friends that were uniquely mine and that shared interest with me.
A few months into my second semester, I visited a new Latin restaurant that had opened sometime after Christmas break. My new friends had bailed on my because of midterms but I had already studied for all my exams so I decided to go without them.
As soon as I walked in, I knew I would love the place. The scents were amazing! Cumin, turmeric, cilantro… So many scents! I sat at the table by myself as I often did and I read the menu. The waiter came and I order something called 'Bolero Campestre' which was the chef's specialty dish.
The dish was an amazing combination of flavors. I took my time savoring every bite. I closed my eyes and tasted the combination of flavors what swam seamlessly in my mouth. Once again, it looked like I was going to close down the restaurant. I only barely noticed that there were only a few patrons left. I just couldn't help but savor my food and too soon I stared angrily at an empty plate. I was so distracted that I didn't even hear the waiter coming back for my plate.
"How was your dinner?" The smooth accented voice asked. A different waiter?
"Amazing." I said as I turned to my new waiter and I nearly dropped my fork. The man that stood before had the most delicious rich dark brown skin I have ever seen. It was smooth like velvet. But it wasn't until I saw his eyes that I felt my heart stop. His warm teak eyes captivated me almost as much as his delicious scent.
"Greetings. I am the chef here. Noah Pareo." He said smoothly while I tried not to choke on my own saliva. Did I just imprint? It was strange because it didn't feel like an imprint. I have seen the imprint to the wolves' minds. This was strong but almost blurry like the shadow of an imprint. Again, I cursed the shadow that seemed to gloom over every happy moment.
"Ih...it was delicious." I said hoarsely, hoping I didn't look at stupid as I sounded. He smiled at me and I finally notice how quickly his heart was beating. Did he feel this connection too?
"Have you been here before?" He asked me. I shook my head, not trusting my voice. His eyes furrowed.
"Really? You seem familiar." He said with an intrigued smile. I smiled back.
"I'm Ella. Ella Black." I told him and extended my hand. He took it and surprised me by kissing my knuckles just like in the old movies I used to watch with grandpa.
"Ella... La Hermosa." He said in Spanish. His accent like a perfect melody and I felt my body tingle but again it seemed muted, like the emotion wasn't sharp. It was the strangest thing I ever felt. Maybe this was just regular human attraction but somehow it felt like more.
"So what is a beautiful woman like you dinning alone?" He asked me. I felt my cheeks warm.
"I love exotic foods. I don't need someone to enjoy a delicious meal, I guess." I said shyly. I looked at him and he have me an intrigued smile.
"No you certainly don't." He said looking at me. It was strange. It was as if he were looking for something in my eyes.
"You're very talented." I said awkwardly, feeling myself blush again.
"Thank you. Will you be having desert?" He asked me. I glanced around and the restaurant was empty. The waiters were cleaning the tables.
"It looks like you're closed." I noted disappointed. I looked back at him and he smirked.
"Lucky for you, its my kitchen." He told me and extended his hand towards me. I took his hand and he led me into the kitchen as the waiters finished up clearing the tables.
In the back there was a young woman cleaning the dishes. He pointed to one of the stools on the side of the large aluminum island. He went to the fridge and grabbed a few ingredients and some mixing bowls.
"You don't have to trouble yourself for me." I said quickly, embarrassed that he was making something just for me.
"Its no trouble at all." He told me with a smile as he brought the materials to the island.
"What are you making?" I asked him. He shook his head.
"It's a surprise." He told me.
"How long have you been a chef?" I asked him. He poured some cream into a bowl in some sugar.
"About three years." He said simply. He flipped the whisk in the air and caught it easily. I giggled. He began beating the mixture with his hand. I was impressed with how quick he was.
"Where are you from?" I asked him.
"Chile." He told me. I realized that though he was very confident, he wasn't very talkative. I liked that. I became engrossed watching him put together my dessert that when the dish washer girl spoke I nearly jumped.
"Hey Noah. I'm heading out." She told him. He nodded at her and she make her way out of the kitchen. He took a silver spoon and dipped it in the mixture.
"Taste this." He said, giving me the spoon. I took it and put the delicious smelling mix into my mouth.
"What do you taste?" He asked me. I moved the mix in my tongue.
"Passion fruit and… is that Barbados cherry I taste?" I asked him surprised. He gave me a huge smile.
"Acerola. Yes. I'm impressed." He told me and began plating my dessert. He placed a round cake on the plate and drizzled it with the mixture before he topped it off with some chocolate flakes, whipping cream and mint.
"I call this Paradise Cake." He told me and placed the dish in front of me. The scents coming of it were amazing.
"It smells amazing." I said and took the spoon again. He leaned onto the counter top and watched me take the first bite.
"Oh my gosh! Its incredible, sweet, tart and… are the cholate flakes mint chocolate?" I asked him. He smiled and nodded.
"Its amazing. The combination is unexpected with the tart but it blends amazingly well." I said getting lost in the flavors. I noticed his smile grow wider as if he were amused. I blushed, realizing I had just given him a review as if I were some sort of food expert.
"Sorry." I said blushing harder. "Like I said. I love food and sometimes I forget myself." I said sheepishly.
"I like to watch you enjoy my food. I was watching you before. It was…" His voice trailed off and he picked up my spoon and took a bite of my dessert. Seeing him put the same spoon I used into his mouth and lick it clean was insanely sensual. Like we had connected.
"Here." He said taking another spoonful and gave it to me.
"Mmm." I hummed. He placed the spoon next to my plate and began putting away the materials he took out before.
"Where are you from Ella?" He asked me as he put some bowls back into the fridge.
"I'm from the west coast. My family is in California." I told him. My parents had moved to northern California when we started high school. It was far enough that we wouldn't run into people we knew but close enough that dad could still run there if needed.
"What made you come to the other side of the country?" He asked when he returned.
"School. I got to Harvard." I told him.
"Beautiful and smart." He said softly. His gaze was so intense that I dropped my spoon but then I quickly grabbed it again not wanting to make a mess. It was a reflex so I accidently used my superhuman speed. His eyes narrowed at me.
"You have quick reflexes." He noted. There was confusion in his eyes as if he wasn't sure what he just saw.
"Yeah, I, um, played sports." I said quickly, getting up from my chair. This time he frowned.
"Leaving so soon?" He asked me. I hesitated. I didn't want to leave but I was starting to panic. I knew his human eyes were too slow to really catch what happened but I was so out of sorts that I was afraid I would make another mistake.
"I have an early class but may I come back tomorrow?" I asked him. He nodded. His face was calm but he was no longer smiling.
"I'll be looking forward to it." He said and gave me a small smile. There was something in his eyes as if he were speculating. He seemed suspicious.
"So am I." I told him softly. He extended his arm to me and I took it. He walked me to the front of the restaurant and took my hand to kiss it once more.
"'Till tomorrow." He said. I felt a shiver run through me. I nearly stumbled out the door ungracefully.