The Roman commander walked up to Gilligan. "Greetings, I am Romulus Maximus. Who are you?"
Me, he's talking to me, Gilligan thought. "Uh, I'm Gilligan."
"Ah, and are these women your concubines?" Maximus asked.
"Concu... Concu..." Gilligan stammered. "I don't even know what that means."
"I know what it means," Tegan said. "It means..."
"Silence wench! I was not talking to you!" Maximus barked.
Meanwhile, Nyssa had come up to Gilligan and whispered something in his ear.
"What?" Gilligan said, his eyes going wide. "These women are not my concu... I mean, they're my friends, nothing more."
"Well, if that's the case, then perhaps you'd like to sell one or more of them to me," Maximus said as his eyes fell on Mary Ann. "Her, perhaps."
Before anyone could react, Gilligan walked up and slugged Maximus. "Don't you EVER talk of Mary Ann that way again!"
The Roman soldiers all drew their weapons.
"Uh, I think a retreat is called for," Tegan said.
"You're right, Tegan," Nyssa said. "Quickly, into the TARDIS!" The four of them ran into the TARDIS, which quickly dematerialized.
"By the Gods!" Maximus exclaimed as he looked at the place where the TARDIS had been.
OOOOOOOO
Meanwhile, on the TARDIS, Mary Ann was tending to Gilligan's hand. "Did you really mean what you said back there, Gilligan?"
"Yeah, Mary Ann, I did," Gilligan replied. "That creep had no right to talk about you like that."
"Gilligan, you're a hero," Mary Ann said. "When we get back to the island, I'll make you the biggest coconut cream pie ever."
"Well, that might take a while," Nyssa said. "I'm still having problems with the guidance systems."
"Well, if that's the case, we better get comfortable," Tegan said. "I saw some bedrooms in the corridor. I suppose we all better settle in for the time being."