Disclaimer: The pain of not owning Saiyuki is great...Criticism is welcome!

Everything in italic is 7 years prior to the story.

~ Reminiscence; Sanzo's POV~

'Seiten Taisen…'

We watched as she killed over a dozen youkai, single-handedly and didn't even break a sweat. That's just great! Let's just hope she doesn't completely lose it—never mind...Baka! She continued to claw at a corpse. Okay, I've had enough. I saw Hakkai open his mouth and step forward. I pointed my gun at the sky and fired. I knew exactly what was going to happen next. A second later the gun pointed at her. That's right...This isn't the first time this happened.

"Sanzo!"

Goku ran through the temple halls in a panic, hurriedly catching up to his master, who was slowly striding along.

"What is it?" he stopped and turned around slowly.

"I can't find her, I looked everywhere!"

Sanzo sighed and completely faced him.

"Where was the last place you saw her?"

"Last time I saw her, we were playing and it was her turn to hide"

"Where were you two playing?"

"In the meadow."

With that, Sanzo turned heel and started walking away.

"Good. Look for her there."

"Wait! Sanzo!" Goku ran in front of him, his long golden brown hair flying behind him.

"What now?"

Goku stared up at him; his eyes said it all.

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"Well, I thought you could help."

"Good luck with that." he continued and walked around him.

"C'mon, Sanzo! You know where she is, don't you?" Goku followed him, trying to persuade him.

Sanzo sighed again, turned and walked passed him.

"Hurry up." he told him.

Goku smiled brightly, following Sanzo without a second thought.

I continued to point my gun at Gota, as she slowly walked towards me. Pure anger radiated from her temporary lifeless eyes.

'Back then...they were more innocent...more carefree and happy'

The others watched, exhausted from fighting and now resting. Hakkai watched with worry in his eyes, Goku watched with slight panic. He abruptly stood, seeing as his twin was fairly close to me and ran at her.

"Gota!" he shouted running. "What are you doing?"

Gota suddenly attacked him and Goku blocked with his weapon.

"Snap out of it!" Goku cried.

Gota seemed like she wasn't listening. Fact of the matter is, she couldn't hear him. The way this is going is bad.

Goku followed Sanzo out of the temple and towards the town near the temple. Once near the town, they immediately sensed something was out of place. They continued to walk and stopped when a man ran up to them in a total panic.

"Priest Sanzo, our village is being attacked by youkai!"

Both became very serious.

"Goku, stay here." Sanzo warned and quickly walked towards the town.

"Sanzo, wait!"

"Don't follow!"

Goku obeyed and Sanzo ran off into town.

Goku flew and his back hit the side of a building. Seeing as he was already injured, didn't make this better. He struggled to stand and then he looked at her; almost as though pleading. The twin only stared back, her eyes carrying a hint of annoyance. She closed the gap between them and rested her forehead against his, her eyes closed. Goku was stiff, but slowly relaxed. As he did, she abruptly grasped his throat. Hakkai and Gojyo panicked.

"Interruptions..." Gota muttered and then threw him to the side.

Once done with her brother, she turned heel and continued towards me. I still pointed my gun at her. Then, a small chi ball connected with her hand when she rose it. She turned and ran at Hakkai. But a long chain wrapped around her and pulled at her. She snarled, grasped the chain and pulled sending the weapon and Gojyo flying.

"Annoyance..." she muttered.

She ignored Hakkai and turned back to me. Finally, she stopped a few feet away from me.

'Dammit'

Sanzo shot and killed yet another youkai. That one seemed to be the last of 'emor so he thought. A high-pitched scream flooded his ears.

'Please don't tell me! Shit!'

To get full attention, Sanzo pointed his gun to the sky and fired. Seconds later, it pointed at Gota, who stood a few feet away from him.

'That's right...This isn't the first time this happened.'

Gota smiled wickedly and ran full speed at me. Be it luck or whatever, but Hakkai was somehow able to step in between us and tackle her, holding on to her. Caught off guard, she fell backwards. Immediately after her back hit the ground, she flipped Hakkai over her and stood back up. Again, Hakkai tackled her, now from behind. Gota growled and snarled at him and tried to get him off of her. With this, I think I've seen enough. I revealed the scripture, which circled around Gota and Hakkai. For a moment, Gota froze. Probably trying to figure out what was going on, is my guess.

"Now Hakkai!" I screamed.

From behind, he grasped her forehead.

"Come back to us, Gota-chan!"

Her eyes widened. Then she let out a scream, as her forehead glowed and a power limited identical to Goku's appeared. After that, she rendered unconscious.

~No one's POV~

Gota stirred and slowly opened her eyes to the most excruciating headache in her life. She slowly sat up and looked around. She was in an enclosed room with little furniture: a bed, a dresser with a mirror and a night stand. What happened? The last thing she remembered was swarms of youkai. Then Goku-chan and Hakkai-sama were overwhelmed...

'What happened after that?' she thought to herself.

When she tried thinking about it, her head pounded.

'What about Hakkai-sama and Nii-chan?' she gasped.

She quickly stood up too quick for her taste. She got dizzy as soon as her feet touched the wooden floor. Nevertheless, she continued forward and drunkenly walked out of the room. Unlike her brother, without her power limiter, she over-works her body and feels the negativity when she returns back to normal. She walked down the inn's stairs, almost tripping all the while. Once at the bottom, she slowly walked into the cafeteria and looked around. Everyone stared at her, like as if walking in was against the law. Seeing as she didn't find what she looking for, she walked out and decided on going back to her room. She felt weak...

"Gota!"

Goku glomped her, hugging her from behind. He turned her around to face him.

"Are you alright? Are you back?"

"I-I think. Where did I go?" she blinked confusingly, stuttering.

Thrilled with that answer, he tightly hugged her again.

"You were sleepin' for a long time, I was worried." Goku said still embracing her.

Gota hugged him back, confusion over-flowing her mind. The rest of the group walked up behind Goku.

"Hakkai-sama, what happened after you and Nii-chan were overwhelmed?"

"Overwhelmed?"

"Yes, by the youkai..."

Silence engulfed the group for a moment.

"How did you feel after that?" Sanzo asked her.

His back faced her, while he leaned against the door frame of the waiting room and smoked a cigarette. He slightly looked over his shoulder when she didn't answer, but kept silent, still waiting for her reply.

"I felt...overpowered and lost..." she finally responded.

"I thought as much." Sanzo said, then walked into the waiting room and sat down.

Gota followed him, curious about what he meant. Naturally, the rest of the group followed as well. Hakkai watched Sanzo carefully; he had a feeling of what he was going to say.

"You revealed your true self."

"Sanzo!"

"She has to know!"

They spoke immediately after another and glared at each other. Gota stared at the glaring two, as Goku and Gojyo started backing away.

'Not good!' they thought.

The glaring two continued to argue, as Gota looked down at her hands. Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes.

"I'm sorry!" Gota cried.

The group stopped and stared at her, confused by her action.

"You were all injured because of me. I'm sorry, everyone!"

She was right. Even though they were taken care of while Gota was unconscious, they had bruises and bandages showing. She also noticed a few things: Goku was walking strangely and Hakkai almost looked as if standing was hurting him. Sanzo was unscathed; she found nothing wrong with him and she couldn't place it, but Gojyo seemed fairly uncomfortable in his skin. Tears ran down her cheeks.

"I was in the dark...I didn't what was going on or what I was doing, but I kept hearing screams and cries"

The group continued to stare and listen as she continued.

"And it sounded like your screams and your cries. I had absolutely no idea what was going on...Gojyo-san, Goku-chan, Hakkai-sama, I'm sorry!"

'Gota-chan...' the three thought.

Goku got close to his twin and wiped the tears from her eyes. Sanzo puffed out another puff of smoke, like as if nothing had happened.

Later on, the group went to bed. Goku lay in bed with his hands behind his head.

"Can't sleep?" Gota asked, rolling over to face him.

Goku shook his head, then stared at his twin. She stared back at him, her eyes asking, 'What?'

"You really don't remember?" he asked her, looking into her eyes.

"Remember what?"

"What happened during the youkai fight."

"I remember some of it..."

"Then what?"

"Then nothing. Everything went blank. After that, I woke up in bed."

"Hm" Goku stared at the ceiling.

"Nii-chan, what's wrong?"

"I think I was in your position before"

"Really?"

"I...think so..." Goku nodded.

Goku continued to stare at the ceiling as Gota scooted closer to him and held his hand. He glanced at her through the corner of his eyes, then continued to stare at the ceiling as he entwined his fingers with hers.

Sanzo sat on the windowsill of the open window in his room, thinking and smoking a cigarette:

Gota had collapsed into Sanzo's arms after he returned her power limiter. Seeing as she was unconscious, he carried her back to the temple. Goku stood where Sanzo left him, worried about Sanzo and wondering where his twin was, worrying about her as well. As he looked up, he saw Sanzo walking back up the hill where he stood. He carried with him Goku's twin, her arms hanging limply. Goku ran up to his master, asking about their health. When they returned to the temple, Sanzo lay her in her bed. He and Goku remained in the room for a while and then Sanzo left the room, letting her rest. Goku, however, remained by her side until she woke up.

'That's right...That wasn't the first time it happened.'

A few months later, Sanzo had to choose. After he did, he led the twins to a cave near a large waterfall. He had Goku stand next to him and Gota stand in front of him, her back facing the rock bars of the prison-like cave. He had both close their eyes. Before he knew it, he found himself in a heartbreaking predicament. The twins entwined hands, one in front of the bars and one behind it, both crying. Without his twin, Goku was going to suffer; he had to forget. Sanzo recited words he had memorized in preparations for this day, put his hand on Goku's head and the boy became silent and collapsed. He picked up the boy, preparing to walk away.

"Sanzo-sama!" Gota cried, her tears soaking the soil underneath grass.

"It's for your own good."

With that, Sanzo turned and walked away, with her twin riding on his back.

"No wait! Come back! Nii-chan, wake up...Wake up! Sanzo-sama! Please don't leave me!" Gota stuck out her arm, as if waiting for someone to grab it and set her free once more.

"Please! Please don't leave me behind!"

Sanzo paused walking. His heart strongly tempted him to go back, release her, apologize and go back to the temple, forgetting anything that was just happening. But it's not that easy...He has to do this. He closed his eyes, trying to block her out and failing and then continued.

"Sanzo-sama!" she dropped her head, sobbing.

She tightly gripped the rock bars she was imprisoned behind.

"I hate you...I HATE YOU!"

'That's right...That was a long time ago' Sanzo thought.

He stared at the night sky, which was filled with countless stars.

"I swear...never to repeat that mistake ever again."