USS Enterprise

Conflict. It was not the thought Spock wanted to invade his mind. Nonetheless, after reading his father's transmission, it did.

Stoic expression on his face, Spock sat back in the chair in his quarters, contemplating the words he had read for the fortieth time. While he did well not to express emotions, his insides swam with inklings of them. He was finding it challenging to keep them repressed, and could feel himself taking long, careful breaths to aid in maintaining his composure. It was not complete denial of emotional feelings, which was why he allowed his human side to feel more and more of them lately. His goal was not to let them to overtake his psyche. That was the point of emotions, he determined some time ago: to experience them, identify them, and learn how to manage them. Otherwise, their complexities would master him.

Thoughts. He had never until now had an idea of what it was like to have a million thoughts flashing through his brain. Do not restrain it, he cautioned himself. His thoughts were not for him, though. They were for her. Lauren Grayson-Reed. His biological cousin, human resident of Earth, had lost both parents simultaneously. It was an occurrence that he was aware of for countless individuals across the universe, but it was the first time it had happened to someone he was related to.

One thought was for him: it had been horrific enough to lose Mother during the destruction of Vulcan; how would he have handled things if both his parents had been lost? His Vulcan side would have automatically answered by saying that sorrow was an irrelevant emotion, and that moving forward was the only way to honor one's passing. On the other hand, his human side would have countered with one of the crass proclamations that James T. Kirk might have offered: bullshit. Spock knew it was no longer weakness to succumb to emotions. In a way, Lauren was probably stronger than him in this area of existence.

Resting his chin in his hand, he let his memories guide him back to his first encounter with the younger being. He had been sixteen Earth years when they were introduced, and he admitted an elevated curiosity with the smaller human, who Mother had confirmed as his cousin. They had looked at each other initially with the exact same stare. There was a great depth of respect emanating from her countenance. Much of the time, she had followed him around, not saying a great deal, but enjoying the tall companion beside her. He minded not in the slightest. She seemed fearless of him. He recalled how at one point, she had climbed onto his lap, laying her head against his chest and relaxing. Not putting her arms around him, or touching him; just laying there. Quiet. He had felt out of place, but no one objected to her actions. In reality, he had not disapproved. He just had not known what to do beyond that. Looking hindsight, he understood that she found his presence calming, and wanted to express her appreciation in some manner. Knowing that his race was not as intimate as theirs, she had not pushed boundaries. Fascinating little creature.

Perhaps there was going to be a great deal more to learn from her.

Still, there was his apprehension, which pounded heavily in his heart. Reflecting on his tumultuous adolescence caused him mild anguish, as his half-human, half-Vulcan heritage was considered a blasphemy to other Vulcans. The mental, physical, and emotional abuse had been great, and he struggled to find his own identity in the world he had called home. He did not want Lauren to be privy to identical persecution from his people. Despite how their numbers had dwindled following the destruction of Vulcan, he was assured that the majority still grasped grudges towards anything that caused their race to be "impure." Would they slander Father for bringing yet another human into his home? Would they shun Lauren for coming to their world and attempt to make her miserable? It would be a great disappointment to have her life defined in such a way.

Well, both he and his father had to act on hope that her life would be fulfilled under the guardianship of her Vulcan relatives.

Sitting upright, Spock was pleased that he had taken the time to speak succinctly with Kirk about his personal matters. Predictably, Kirk had pressed for details, which Spock had respectfully declined to elaborate. This was a private issue not to be shared with others…except maybe Lieutenant Uhura. A faint smile tugged at his lips. Touching his screen, he began a transmission to his father.

BEGIN TRANSMISSION

Destination: Shuttle BH4-79

Sender: Commander Spock, First Officer

Recipient: Ambassador Sarek, Vulcan II

The content of your transmission was unexpected, although intriguing, and has left me with a great desire to speak at length with you.

The news of our relatives' deaths is remorseful, and I do acknowledge their losses. Jonathan and Sarah Grayson were significant members of Starfleet, brilliant chemists in their fields of study. They will be irreplaceable. I cannot and will not forget their kindness towards myself and our family.

I am certain these fatalities have had the greatest impact upon my young cousin, who, I imagine by this point, is under your care. As with her parents, I have always been fond of Lauren, and am pleased to know that she comes to us physically unharmed. Please express to her my condolences regarding her family, as this is undoubtedly a difficult experience to endure.

As for your intention to bring her reside with you, I do articulate concern. I do understand your reasoning, and agree its logic is founded. She will thrive better being with those she considers part of her familial unit. However, I express apprehension in terms of her personal well-being. Father, I am positive you have a perception as to why. I implore you to realize that I say this because I am protective of my human cousin. She is my mother's blood relation, and now the final link I possess to both her and my human heritage. I wish to reunite with her soon.

At the news of Sarah and Jonathans' deaths, I have requested temporary leave from my duties on the Enterprise. This permission has been granted by Captain Kirk, and I shall journey to Vulcan II in a week's time. Inform Lauren of this information, as I anticipate our meeting. I am expecting to see an improvement in her ability to correctly give a Vulcan salutation, as we worked extensively on that the past two visits we had with one another.

Live long and prosper.

Commander Spock, USS Enterprise

END TRANSMISSION