As we all walk out another flash of red catches my eye, Not again! I shake my head once more, no do not think about it I'm tricking myself.

Don't look!

I pause as I watch Road begin to swing at Lulu bell, Kanda comes walking towards us as I slowly back away from the small female. "Kanda what's up?" I wave at the male as he just shrugs, he was never a person for small talk.

Quickly before we know it Road wraps her arms around me, "What do you want Kanda?" she hisses, as her small face is nuzzled into my stomach. Kanda grins as he quickly pulls me away from the female. "Why I'm only here talking to my favorite person."

Me? Someone's favorite.

Fat chance.

I'm their rag doll that's plainly it. Though I am used to it so I don't really mind. We're all buddies and Road just clings to me because she has no other male in her life to. Also because her brother hates me and it only pisses him off more.

As we all walk towards the gates I glance at Lenalee, before I could tell Road something, she goes running up to her.

BAM!

To late.

Road runs into the poll from a lovely site of Lenalee making out with her boyfriend, for what seems like the tenth time today. Again, I honestly don't care that those two are always making out, the thing that sickens me the most is why be with someone you don't love?

Love.

How do we even know what love is? Were all still young, but I just can't imagine seeing my best friend be with someone when she still loves another. Maybe it's just me, maybe I just want to be in her shoes? To feel like someone cares about me?

I shake my head, watching everyone run up to Road to see if she's okay. I just chuckle, I know she's fine. She does this all the time. She's our klutz and every time she gets hurt by running into something she makes a joke out of it. But I wonder;

What really goes on in your mind Road?

Road notices me staring at her as she glares at me, "What are you looking at Walker? Aren't you going to help a lady up?" I laugh, not intentionally it just came out I quickly step back before I speak. "Well once I find one then I'll help her out."

Suddenly out of no where, a red blob blurs my vision. Is it really you this time? Or is my mind playing tricks on me once more? No one else notices as they are in their own circles but Road always seems to catch my eye.

Her eyes narrow slightly, as we both look at the blob. It is. It is you! Suddenly my heart sinks, and I feel myself staring not even noticing if my friends see me looking at him or not. Road getting pissed off at me, or more like concerned quickly comes to me and pushes me to the group.

"What are you doing Road?" I question out loud, not really trying to get noticed, or am I? Do I want you to see that I am happier without you, glad that you are out of my life for good? I sigh have a lost all of my sanity when you walk by?

Lenalee stares at me for the longest time, her once beautiful long hair is cut shorter like a bob, and it looks good on her but not as good as her old style was. "Allen what's wrong with you?" she speaks in her normal cheerful tone, sadly I smile and shake my head. "Oh nothings wrong, I just.." my thoughts trail off.

Is something really wrong? Am I truly fine?

"Sorry guys I um.. got to go somewhere, you know me always busy." I lie of course, I hate feeling like they have to take care of me I'm a big kid and I need to deal with this all on my own. Enough is enough. I'm not a baby.

Though when I think I'm alone I hear the clacks of heels. Who could that be? I question myself before I turn around. It's none other than Road.

"Allen tell me what's wrong, just because no one else can see that your hurting doesn't mean I don't."

She's right, of course, she always has noticed something was off about me. Something that didn't seem right when I would smile at everyone else, she had always seen the sadness in my eyes.

Another person used to always stare into my eyes and notice my emotions from them. Another person used to just stare, and of course I hated being looked in the eyes that other person stopped me from talking and just stared.

Melting forever.

Just by one gaze, and there was no one else who could make me feel so damn alive, feel like everything was better with that one stare, one grasp of the hand could make me smile.

One touch of the lips..

Wait.. What am I saying, I need to just stop thinking about it, besides if I keep on thinking Road will figure out what's wrong with me and I don't need to talk about it not at a time like this. Not at a time when everyone else is happy.

Fuck.

Why am I such a damn let down? Am I really afraid to be happy because I know some way you'll take it away? Even though your not my friend anymore, and your supposed to be gone from my heart, gone from everything. Though that's not the case is it? Your not truly gone, deep down you know your always still welcomed to fuck with my heart.

Forgetting Road was right there she stares at me long and hard, "Allen let's go to the park. Just me and you. I think we need to talk." I gulp. What have i gotten myself into this time?

So i was writing this before I was going to my friends house, I change my mind i think its going to be more than 5 chapters :D though I need to work on the other story for now this is my main one as of the fourth of July. Sorry -enen OH ps. REVIEW :D