We slowly walk towards the park as fear slowly crept into my heart. I knew Road wasn't going to rest until she found out what was wrong with me. The one thing I didn't even know to begin with. Though we kept walking one step at a time.

Take deep breathes.

I try to listen to myself, but instead of taking deep breathes it seems like my breathing weakens, like I'm about to faint. And though it feels like it sadly it just doesn't happen.

What am I running from?

The thoughts, the questions fill up my mind over and over again the questions felt like weights on my feet. Dragging my body down slowly. Almost making me stop completely. Though it doesn't and we finally end up at the stupid park.

Remembering when I was a little kid the park was like a magical kingdom to me somewhere I seemed like I always wanted to go to. Though as I grew older it just became a normal place with normal people every single day. It seemed like you never saw the same people at the park. Though it is always filled.

Road's heels keep distracting me as the clack every time her little feet take steps. "Walker!" she calls my name, my throat nearly dry where I can't even speak a word. "What?" my voice cracks as I clear my throat, "sorry about that. What is it you want?"

She glares at me as she grabs my hand nearly dragging me to the benches. She sits down across from me as she waits for me to slid into my bench. I do so as I look straight pass her. Looking at the trees, making sure my eyes never meet with hers.

"Allen.." she says in a soft, nearly sweet voice, something that surprises me. I'm not used to hear being nice to me at all.

I gulp, I don't want to have a deep conversation something that I dread every single day. "You know I hate it when you're sad." I nod. Why do you think I've been trying my best to smile in front of everyone? Of course I would never say that to her. She doesn't need to know that I am truly in pain.

"Of course I do Road, but I'm not sad. I'm actually happy you know?" I smile at her, trying to reassure her… to reassure myself that I am actually happy.

"Cut the crap Allen I know your not. Just because you smile doesn't mean I can't see the sadness in your eyes. Your eyes tell me the truth. Something apparently you can't even do."

Ouch. A shot to the heart, I never expected her to say something like that. Never thought she could see the pain that I deal with every day.

"You caught me Road, what you want a prize or something?" My tone gets bitter, I don't mean it but she really just shot that at me, doesn't she see that I don't want her to worry that I am in pain.

She sniffles in front of me, "Allen don't you see there are people out there who love you?" I stare at her, in complete confusion, was she about to cry?

"Who Road you guys? Just you guys and that's it. That's not a lot of people when you think about it." Again the tone, I need to stop doing that to her, especially when it looks like she's going to cry.

"No Allen there is way more than that and you know it!" she nearly shouts at me, "Like who Road tell me who would love someone like me?" this time I look away from her, turning my back against her, so I won't see her crying because of me.

People start to look at us as I mumble, "Lower your voice, the people will think we're arguing." she for once obeys me, lowering her voice for only I can hear. "You have to figure that out on your own, you know the people who really love you are going to be the people who are there when you need them the most."

I sigh quietly. I know what she is saying is true but still..

"I know that's why I'm saying, there is only you guys. I thought someone loved me, you know in the romantic way, but he turned out to be a liar." I pause, did I just say that out loud? Can I erase my mistake? Sadly I can't and though I thought she was going to lecture me, she speaks calmly to me.

"You don't know that Allen, I mean no one purposely injures someone they once cared so much about.." she coughed softly, "Well besides me, but you know I never loved that annoying asshole." I turned back to face her, I know I should be looking at her when she is talking, or I will get a mouth full of it later.

"Anyways! What I'm saying Allen if you still have contact with him, then he must have some sort of emotion for you or else he would have cut off everything…I don't think any person would hang onto someone they hated just to cause them pain.. At least a normal person wouldn't."

I shake my head, placing my hands onto the table. "I thought that at one time too Road, but that one thought has left my mind for good. Besides, I hear he is madly in love with someone else now, and he's just talking to me again just to hurt me. " I shrug lightly. "Not like he ever really loved me in the first place."

I feel my heart shatter from that last sentence. Though I will never admit it to Road, I know right there and then if she wasn't in front of me I would have bawled my eyes out.

She sighs, "Allen if he doesn't see what was so great about you then I don't know why your still in love with him."

I ignore her.

I can't even look at her in the eyes, something grasping onto my head pushing me down, she speaks again. "Why do you love him Allen? Its obvious he's happier without you. It's obvious you were shit to him so why do you still love him?"

I am still ignoring her, I don't want to answer her, it's pointless, and everything she is saying now might be true but still I don't want to hear it.

I don't want to be reminded that he doesn't feel the same way as I do.

Once more, she speaks more like shouting at me for everyone in the park to hear her, "FINE then Allen why don't you go to the person who doesn't even love you anymore! And see who really does love you!"

I hear her heels clack hard against the cement, hearing them dash across the table area, knowing that she is gone I look up. "Good bye Road.." I mumbled as I sit there for a while, just lost in deep thought.

I know she's going to pretend that this conversation never happened. So will I.

It's better to pretend that nothing has ever happened, than to face the truth. And that's one thing I don't want to do.

Face the music.

Face the fact that once again, I am all alone in this bitter world. With no one to hold out their hand to me and help me see that there are people who care about me. No one does.

And so..I truly am alone.

So the conversation between Allen and Road is something personal :3 But I just loved it so i had to write it out, So i dedicate this chapter to my real life Road. Please review, I will not update my stories until i get 5 reviews for this one sorry -enen