Lavi just looks at me, "Sorry for what Allen?"

I shake my head, facing the male I smile softly at the male. "I'm sorry for still being in love with you, and for wanting to choose you over my friends, I'm sorry for everything and I-I.. I just don't know anymore."

My hands are trembling as the words slip out of my mouth, this is something I knew I had to say from the start, so that I can truly find peace something I just need to let out.

"So you still love me Allen after everything? Even if I have found myself someone new? Even if I don't really need you anymore your still going to stand there and tell me you love me?" I nod. I don't know what to say.

"I see.. So you really are a fool huh?" I nod once more, though this time I speak, "Well it's just something about me that other people like I guess, it's something I can't change in me so I will proudly say I am a fool."

Lavi just chuckles as he hears me talking, "Allen you still seem to amaze me, and just realize how clueless and cute you are."

I glare at the male, "I will not accept that at all, for one I am not cute mister! And another, I'm being serious here." once more the male has me blushing, and with skin as fair as mine you can tell already. I shake my head trying to cool my cheeks down a bit.

"Awe your blushing already? You're the same as ever kiddo." I pout more, as I want to lounge at him, though I keep my cool and let out a small sigh, "Lavi, thanks for everything, but I think it's time for you to walk away now."

He stares at me, "Why is it that I am the one who always has to walk away?"

I shrug, "Because I've been doing that my whole life, I just want you to walk away for once, because you always make me look like the bad guy, and.." I sniffle, "A-And I don't want you to see me cry anymore."

He lightly places a hand onto my shoulder, "I've always hated seeing you cry, knowing I was the cause of those tears. I hate knowing I caused those tears to come out of those amazing gray hues that tell of much sorrow and hurt."

He probably doesn't mean it, he just wants me to stop crying, so I quickly wipe the tears that begin to form from my eyes, "You don't need to be sorry it's my fault, everything all the tears don't try to clean your conscious Lavi, don't think everything I do revolves around you."

I move away from his grasp as his hand just stays in the same place, "Allen I know that.."

"No you don't Lavi, everyone thinks your all I ever think about, all I ever care about. It's not true and I finally get to say it out loud! I don't think about you twenty-four seven."

Lavi looked puzzled at me, "I know you don't… Who are you trying to tell really? Me or you?"

I blink multiple times, I look down and sigh. "Both."

"I can't play this game with you anymore Lavi, I just can't let you harm my heart anymore. You kissed me, I didn't kiss you back.. There is a reason for this."

Lavi just listened, he didn't argue back, he just for once listened to what I had to say, "I know I was going to if Road didn't barge in.. I'm glad she did.. I didn't kiss you back because I would have lost my heart all over to you again. And I can't afford to lose not to you not to anyone. I want to be able to love again.. To be able to belong to someone who isn't a born liar."

I take a deep breath before I speak once more, "I know you are amazing Lavi, but you're a liar and you've been lying to me from the start. You promised you would love me forever. You lied and because of that I am stuck here with a shattered heart. I want to say good bye to you."

Lavi nods, "Fine then say it already and I will never.." I place a finger across his lips. "Stop." I mutter.

"I am not finished. I want to say good bye to you but knowing in my heart it would break me even more. And what happens to when I get completely broken and can't deal with things?" once more I take a deep breath, I roll my sleeve up and turn my wrist over. "This."

Scars.

That's right, all my friends know I cut my wrist. They don't know the reason. They just stare at the scars. Examining if I added more. The count so far? Twenty-five.

"Why Allen?"

I quickly roll my sleeve back down shaking my head, "Don't ask me why. You know exactly why I do this. You know exactly why I hurt myself because of your countless lies!"

He grabs onto my arm, rolling up the fabric as I watch him, "what do you think your doing?" I mutter, bitterness returns in my voice, and I allow it. I want him to suffer like I have. Though I know its not the right thing to do.

For once though, this is what he deserves. For making me believe his lies.

Forever

I shake my head, he lied he needs to pay for what he said to me, he needs to pay for everything.

He looks into my eyes, I look away. "Allen please don't be like this anymore because of my asshole self."

I pull my arm away from his grip. "Whatever Lavi, stop acting like you ever gave a shit about me."

He looks down, "I really did love you Allen, whether you believe me or not. You had my heart you had all of me, but we argued to much.. And I couldn't deal with it anymore."

"Yeah then you found that little bitch of yours, now she's all you think about she's all you ever want. Yeah you said the same thing to me. I guess your words mean nothing to yourself and all you ever do is say the sweet romantic shit. But you don't mean of it." I take a few steps away from him. "I love you and that's not a lie. I know I'm a liar just like you are because you made me this way but I won't lie about what my heart feels. I love you Lavi."

He sighs, "I'm bad for you Allen don't you see that?"

He let out a sarcastic laugh, "HA! You think you're so bad for me maybe I'm the real vicious one Lavi, everyone sees me as so sweet so innocent, weak, defenseless. But whether or not they see it this kitty has claws and I'll fuck you up if you break my heart."

I don't want to be know as sweet anymore. I don't even want to be known as cute.

I want to be known as me, and only Lavi saw who I was. Who I truly was, and he supposedly loved me for it. But it was a lie. Everything he said everything is a lie. I might have wasted two years on him but this time I get to finally say what I want and he can't walk away without yelling back at me.

"I get it Allen, you've become so bitter because of me and I'm sorry."

I softly hiss, "really that's all you can say to me is sorry? Where are your balls Lavi?"

He looks away, I know he can't even look at me anymore, and that's when it hits me, this isn't me. I am not a cruel person who wants revenge, I just want to let it go.

I just wanted for once, for him to feel the pain he caused me, but in the end I'm the one once more feeling more pain.

"Allen.."

I look away, I can't stare at him anymore, "I-I'm sorry Lavi.. I'm not like this, I'm not like you.." he turn away from him.

My feet feel heavy, as I take a few steps. I don't say good-bye I just run away. Leaving him there, I hear my name being called out but I don't look back.

All I do is run.

That's all I am ever good at doing now a days.

Run.

I run away from my friends, the people who have seemed to be the only ones who cared about me.

I keep running until I'm out of breath. Pants escape my lips as I press my hands onto my knees, finally catching my breath I look around. An old tree stands in front of me.

I press my back against the bark as I slowly slid down, pressing my knees to my chest as I let out small sobs, the warm tears streaming down my cheeks.

I sit there for about 10 minutes letting pouring my sorrow out, letting it exhaust my body, my soul. I'm tired and I don't know what to do anymore, my eyes hazily gaze the area I am at.

Lost.

No one I know is around here, I don't even think I want to go back to a place like that. I don't want to face those people who are really never there for me.

I realize this more and more as I sit here, I notice that I truly have nothing to go home to. No friends. No family. No love.

I reach into my pocket, clutching onto the metal already piercing my fingertips. I wince slightly as I begin to roll my sleeve up, I close my eyes as I begin to slide the metal across my wrist.

Gone.

I want everything to be gone.

I don't want to feel anymore. I don't want to be here anymore. I just don't want to exist.

Eliminate me from this world.

"Good-bye Allen Walker." I mumble to myself as I feel my arm completely numb, though I still slice the blood dripping towards my palm.

Ever lasting peace.

All i can say is just review. :D please. and no Allen isn't emo -.-