Walking through the hallways of the school made me feel so uneven. The rumors of course probably went all over the place by now.
How could I have hidden it from anyone? It was to hot to wear long-sleeves, but I forced myself to resist the heat and cover up my sin. I've recently learned, from now on everything I do is a sin. Every step I take is just another step closer towards my demise.
"That's the boy?" Mutters from girls as I walked passed them, speaking louder than mere whispers, I let out a small groan, trying to ignore the fact that I was getting more attention than I was used to. "Yeah he's the one.. Who almost kicked the bucket."
A chuckle passed through my lips, I honestly don't know why I thought it was funny but something in me just had to laugh. It's not like any of these people would understand right? No one would know the pain I was feeling.
Taking a few steps back towards the girls I let out a simple smile and mutter the words, "I'm selfish." before walking past them once more, the girls just stood at me in confusion. They didn't comprehend what was going on through my own mind, and they probably never will.
"Lucky girls.." I muttered once more towards myself. This day was scorching hot. Already wearing the white long sleeves ,to cover my wounds on my arms, with a black band tee adding to the heat, including a black scarf wrapping around my neck tightly having most of the fabric cover my mouth. Positioning a black beanie to hide my silver white hair.
I glare at the ground as I walk towards the table my friends usually hang out at. Lucky people getting to wear short-sleeved shirts and shorts. While I am suffering with covering my body from head-to-toe, I curse under my breath before looking up.
CRASH!
Not paying attention to my surroundings my face meets with a sudden blue pole as my nose starts squirting out a little blood. I shrug the unbearable pain away. While people look at me more, quickly walking faster letting the blood drip onto my scarf.
I close my eyes as I am about a few steps away from the table. My heart is pounding against my chest, I feel like it's the first day of school once more, nervous about everything. Wondering what my so-called friends are going to say to me.
I hear a squeal quickly opening my eyes as my silver hues observe where the noise comes from. It's none other than Lenalee Lee. Running quickly up to me she wraps her arms around my neck holding me close. My face flushes a light crimson, thank god I'm wearing a scarf, I mutter in my mind.
"ALLENN~!" she cries out, holding me tighter as she quickly pulls away from me, it seems like she has tears in her eyes, I stare blankly at her as she wipes away the liquid from her eyes. "HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO US?" exclaiming out loud as people turn towards her gazing at her like she's a mad women.
"Please.." I start out, my hands placed at my sides, as I begin to walk towards the table placing my head against the cold metal. "Come over here, you're making such a racket." Weirdly she obeys, sitting closer towards me she stares at me for the longest time.
Silence.
Why is there always awkward silence with the girls I talk to? Is there something wrong with me or am I just a boring person. That I can't say anything to them without having someone around. I shrug off the worry in my mind as I turn my face looking up at her. Behind the scarf I am smiling, though she can't see it. And I won't show my face to her. I want to lay low. Though I doubt that will happen. Especially how I am dressed and with the rumor going around.
Maybe I shouldn't have come to school so soon? Well.. To late now I guess, I am here and I have nothing better to do at the park anyways. Maybe thinking of a place to sleep or live. Who knows?
"Allen.." she speaks once more in a more sincere tone, "If you need anyone to talk to.. You know I am here for you?"
A bitter-sweet laugh escapes from my lips, "Really Lenalee? How could you honestly lie to me like that?" She looks at me startled, "W-What do you mean…?" I shake my head, turning my head away from the preppy female, "You'd rather fuck around with your boyfriend than help any of your friends. Apparently he's the only one you want to be with so why not go run those pretty little legs of yours towards him and tell him how cruel Allen is being."
She sniffles, and I honestly don't care, hearing her boots clack against the cement, I think she was running towards someone and once again I am alone. I shrug it off, I am used to the lonely feeling. By now my life has been one charade of emptiness.
I don't want to reunite with any of my friends right now, they probably are going to yell the same thing "Suicide isn't the way to go." blah. Blah. Blah. I'm starting to get sick of people telling me what's right and what's wrong.
Road was walking towards the gate of the school, having Allen and Lulubell both leaving the school she was quiet. She didn't have someone to wrap her arms around and whine to. She didn't have her best guy friend to attack when he said something sarcastic to her.
Sure there was David, Miranda, even Kanda was there but it was so out of place without Allen or Lulu. She let out a sigh as she began walking her petite self towards the table. She was always late but today she was early. To early. And it ate at her, she wanted to know how her friends were doing. However she couldn't skip school, and she had no place to look.
Walking closer towards the table she noticed an unusual figure sitting at their table. She walked slowly towards the person as she caught a glimpse of white. She couldn't believe her eyes, she walked closer towards the person she spoke in a ghostly whisper. "Walker?"
I lift my head up, only one person calls me by that name, a small smile comes across my lips, as she walks over towards me and whacks me in the head as I whine out loud. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"
She sat before me and glared at me, "What the hell Walker! You look like a freaking ninja." the first sentence she says to me after the incident, and I can't help but utter a laughter. "Well have you seen anyone else yet?" she asks nonchalantly, I shrug her question off before speaking, "Well Lenalee, but she went running off from how cruel I am."
She let out a quiet sigh, "Allen you're so vicious some times you know that right?" I stare at her and shrug once more, "What do you want me to do Road? All she cares about is that boyfriend of hers."
Road nodded, she knew I wasn't lying and she had to agree with me. I mean most of the time I speak is based on what I observe. "But Allen.. You need to learn how not to always speak the truth, maybe sometimes you should keep your mouth closed."
"Fine. Maybe I should become a mute and never speak a word again? Would you like that Miss Road?" when in the hell did I start becoming so formal? Once more I lay my head down onto the table, just starting to ignore Road every single word that comes out of her mouth I don't even bother myself with it.
The bell rings and I let out a sigh, I stand up and look at her, "Don't tell anyone I'm here okay? I don't want people to know I've returned from that dreadful place. Promise me you won't mention my name like every other day alright?"
She stares at me for the longest time before nodding, "I promise." she mutters.
I smirk, "That's probably the first promise in my life that's actually going to mean something." I shrug slightly and begin to walk towards my first class. Starting the school routine once again feels kind of weird, I am not used to it yet. But I know I will.
"Allen you're as foolish as ever." Road mutters as she sits at the table and watches the boy walk towards his classes, "Why won't you let anyone in anymore? We're not like him you should know that." Road gets up and heads on to her first class. An hour worth of pondering waiting to see the reaction of the friends Allen and her share.
"I think everyone would be happy that you've returned."
She grasps slightly onto her pencil tightly.
"I know I am.."
I was trying to end this story in this chapter but I think it's going to have to wait. :P I feel like there isn't enough said yet. I think 2 more chapters will do it :3 So until then -enen :D