Kurt wanted to go back to the apartment and go to sleep. The day had barely begun and he was already craving a nap. He and Rachel had just finished with their Dance 101 class with Cassandra July who really seemed to have it out for Rachel. Kurt silently thanked that he wasn't on "her list," but it didn't make him feel any less bad for Rachel. It seemed whatever she did, Cassandra would just pick her out of the crowd and shout endless amount of insults at her.
In a way it was a breath of fresh air to see Rachel recieve criticism, but the way it was done was extremely unwarranted. Despite all the criticism thrown her way, she still managed to keep an upbeat attitude and a pep in her step after class. She chattered on at Kurt as she whipped out her phone to check her emails on their way to their voice 101 class with Alexander Jay. Jay was a really great voice teacher who had done many stints on Broadway. He decided that full-time Broadway wasn't really for him and had decided to teach the craft rather than full on pursue it, but the man definitely knew what he was doing. He did return to Broadway from time to time when the opportunity presented itself, but only for chorus or minor roles.
It had been a tedious two months. Kurt had done as promised and joined Rachel in New York to attend NYADA during the fall semester. It took a lot of encouraging from his father, Carol, Rachel and even Blaine's mom. They all agreed that Kurt couldn't keep putting his life on hold waiting for Blaine when he may or may not ever come back as much as it hurt all of them to say. Many tears and arguments later and here Kurt was in the second month of his first semester.
It hadn't been easy trying to focus on his studies when Blaine was supposed to be right alongside him, but everyone was right. He could still hold onto hope that Blaine wasn't gone, but hope wasn't going to provide him with an education. As much as he wished it were different, he had to try to somehow keep his life going. He didn't want to use the term "move on" because he wasn't moving on, he just needed to keep moving forward while he waited.
"Mr. Jay is out today," Rachel announced to Kurt reading an email from her phone.
Kurt shrugged nonchalantly. "Do you think class will be canceled?"
Rachel stopped in her tracks with her stereotypical wide-eyed Rachel Berry stare. "No class at NYADA is ever canceled, Kurt. The show must go on, even in the absence of a teacher."
"OK, drama queen, let's get to class and prove you right," Kurt remarked sarcastically with a joking tone as he continued on down the hallway towards class.
Rachel had thrown a huge fit over being placed in a 101 class for her voice, but Madam Tibideaux had put her mind at ease by assuring her that all the great alumni from NYADA had to attend the 101 class and maybe one day another student would barge into her office with the same complaint and she would tell that student that the great Rachel Berry had once taken the class. It was procedure at NYADA.
Kurt and Rachel took their usual seats and waited for the moment of truth. Kurt knew Rachel was right. NYADA didn't typically cancel classes unless it was an absolute emergency and no replacement could be found. They weren't kept waiting for too long when in walked their substitute teacher.
"Good morning, class," The man greeted.
Many of the girls in the room grew silent, eyes widened at seeing a man on the more attractive side as their substitute. He may be in his mid-forties, but he wasn't too bad looking for his age. He was very tall and very muscular with dark brown hair with a goatee that matched. He looked very well groomed and somehow familiar to Kurt.
"My name is Jonathan Lawrence and I'll be your substitute for the day," He flashed a smile and continued. "I'll tell you a little about myself. I was born and raised in Columbus Ohio and decided to pursue my teaching degree at New York University which is what brought me to New York in the first place. I met my best friend at NYU and was sad to have to leave when I decided to go back home to Ohio to begin my teaching career. That's where I resided until I moved back to New York around 6 months ago because I have a real love for New York. After all, it's a place where you can create magic, is it not?"
All the girls in the class nodded enthusiastically in agreement.
Kurt, however was silent. Where had he seen this man before? He was from Ohio, so maybe Kurt had just seen him around? But why did everything about him seem so familiar? His voice was even ringing a bell within him. It was going to drive him absolutely crazy.
"Any questions you might have for me?" He asked the class.
One girl towards the back raised her hand. "Yeah, are you married?" She giggled with her friend who looked equally as interested to learn the answer.
Kurt rolled his eyes. Sure the man wasn't bad looking, but really? She was a Freshman and he was obviously in his mid-forties.
Mr. Lawrence didn't seem bothered, he just smiled and responded. "No, I'm not married."
The other girl's hand shot up and he nodded at her to ask her question.
"Any children?"
What was with these questions?
He again didn't seem perturbed at all. "I have a son, yes. He's around your age, actually."
That shut the girls up.
When it was apparent that the girls were done asking all their personal questions, Mr. Lawrence began digging around in his bag for the syllabus. Once he found it, he read it silently, then smiled. "So, we're working on our 4th round of solos are we? I'll admit that I'm not much of a singer, but I can be a good unbiased judge for you all for critique-"
"Mr. Lawrence," Rachel interrupted in her usual Rachel Berry tone. "We're working on our solos that may decide whether or not we get into the winter showcase, which is the highest honor you can receive at NYADA and I would be honored to perform for you first."
Mr. Lawrence grinned in response and made a gesture to the center of the floor where he stood. It seemed like his eyes lingered on Kurt for a moment, almost doing a double take, but he quickly looked right back to Rachel.
Rachel put on her face of determination and strode up to where Mr. Lawrence stood. He then made his way over to one of the open chairs to view Rachel's performance. She began singing her rendition of "No Good Deed" from Wicked, which Kurt had been listening to her rehearse for the past couple of weeks. Of course she was killing it like always, but Kurt was too busy staring at the seated form of Mr. Lawrence. He was sure he had seen him before, but where? Also, it looked as if Mr. Lawrence had recognized him, too.
Fiyero, saving you
I promise no good deed
Will I attempt to do again
Ever again
No good deed
Will I do again!
Rachel belted out the last note received an uproar of applause from the other students.
"Wow, Rachel! Wow," Mr. Lawrence complimented, standing up and returning to the center next to Rachel. "If that's what's in store for me all day, I will tell you guys, I'm really blown away. What a voice, Rachel! Great job."
Rachel, seeming pleased returned to her seat next to Kurt on a high from Mr. Lawrence's praise.
"Anyone wish to try to follow Rachel?"
Kurt decided why the hell not and raised his hand. Typical for Kurt to always try to one up Rachel.
Mr. Lawrence caught Kurt's raised hand and grinned. Something about the grin was a little off-putting to Kurt, it definitely wasn't a normal kind of grin, it was almost like Mr. Lawrence had some secret that Kurt only wished he was a part of. Kurt shook the thought out of his head. Why was he acting so suspicious of this guy who although seemed familiar, was a man he didn't know at all?
Mr. Lawrence gestured for him to come forward. He got up from his seat and joined him in the center. "And you are?" He asked him with what seemed to be a normal smile this time, all traces of the once off-putting grin gone like it had just been a trick of Kurt's imagination, which it probably was.
"Kurt Hummel," He responded.
"Kurt, what are you going to sing for us today?"
"I'll be singing "Without You" from the Broadway musical, Rent. I'd also like to dedicate this song to my boyfriend who went missing six months ago," Kurt explained before the piano started.
Without you
The ground thaws
The rain falls
The grass grows
Without you
The seeds root
The flowers bloom
The children play
The stars gleam
The poets dream
The eagles fly
Without you
The earth turns
The sun burns
But I die without you
Kurt thought of all the pain he felt and how it seemed life had moved on without Blaine, but he never forgot him and never will.
Without you
The breeze warms
The girl smiles
The cloud moves
Without you
The tides change
The boys run
The oceans crash
The crowds roar
The days soar
The babies cry
Without you
The moon glows
The river flows
But I die without you
Kurt felt a tear stream down his cheek as he sung his heart out for Blaine hoping that maybe somewhere he could hear his voice.
The world revives
But I know blue, only blue
Lonely blue
Without you
Without you
The hand gropes
The ear hears
The pulse beats
Without you
The eyes gaze
The legs walks
The lungs breathe
The mind churns
The heart yearns
The tears dry without you
Life goes on but I'm gone
'Cause I die without you
Kurt could see the tears in everyone's eyes as he sang the final notes. Everyone looked so saddened for him. He didn't want their pity, he just wanted people to understand his pain.
Without you
Without you
Without you
A couple of the girls wiped at their eyes as Kurt finished and began to applaud loudly for him.
"Very good indeed, Mr. Hummel," Mr. Lawrence applauded as he made his way over to Kurt. I'm so very sorry for your loss," He apologized, placing a hand on Kurt's shoulder.
Kurt didn't feel like arguing that Blaine wasn't a "loss" with the new substitute, so he just nodded and returned to his seat.
Many solos later, class had come to an end and Mr. Lawrence thanked them all for an entertaining morning as they made their way out and on to their next class of the day.
"Mr. Hummel," He called out as Kurt had just made his way to the door with Rachel.
"Yes, Mr. Lawrence?" Kurt asked in response halting in the doorway as they were the last two out.
"Could you stay a moment? I'd like to have a word."
"I wish I could, but unfortunately, I have another class to get to," Kurt apologized, gesturing out the door.
"I can write you a pass, no worries."
Kurt nodded his assent and looked to Rachel. "Go on without me, I'll see you in a minute."
Once Rachel had left, Mr. Lawrence took a seat, gesturing at Kurt to do the same. He followed as instructed.
"Mr. Hummel," He started. "I really enjoyed watching your performance today. I can see you're going through a lot of pain right now."
Kurt sighed. "You have no idea."
"I believe I do, really. I remember you. I accidentally bumped into you at the Lima Mall a while back. I'm not one to forget a face."
That's where he knew him from. It made sense now.
"Oh, that's right. I remember," Kurt responded. It made sense that he didn't remember given all the things that had followed afterwards. Being bumped into by a stranger wasn't going to be a thing that stuck in his memory from that day.
"I remember your boyfriend, he was very sweet and polite. I remember reading about his disappearance in the paper. I had hoped that they would have found him by now and I'm awfully sorry that they haven't," Mr. Lawrence expressed, placing a hand on Kurt's shoulder.
"I'd say it's OK, but I'd be lying," Kurt spoke truthfully. "All I can do is try to keep going and keeping hope alive that he'll come back."
Mr. Lawrence had that grin on his face again. The unsettling one. It was gone as quick as it came, but Kurt saw it.
Mr. Lawrence was about to speak again, but was cut off by his phone ringing. "Excuse me just one second, Kurt," He apologized and answered his phone.
"Hello? Stop babbling, Lenny. What are you talking about? He did what?"
Kurt could tell that the conversation wasn't a happy one by the darker look on Mr. Lawrence's face, he seemed to be trying to contain it for Kurt's benefit, but wasn't really succeeding.
"Just tell that boy that he's in for the punishment of his life when I get home. Yeah, I'll be home soon. Just keep him in his room until I get home...on second thought, he disobeyed on your watch, so it's about time you spanked him...just a hand spanking, Lenny, he needs to know you're just as much the boss as I am. He'll be getting a worse spanking from me when I get home and you're just giving him a warm-up. OK, I'm with a student, I have to go. I expect him to be spanked by the time I get home."
Kurt wasn't sure if he heard all that right, he wasn't trying to eavesdrop, but it was only him and Mr. Lawrence in the room. It was probably the most awkward thing he ever heard.
Mr. Lawrence hung up the phone and smiled in apology at Kurt. "Kids, you know?"
"Your son sounds like quite the handful," Kurt laughed uneasily.
"He keeps me on my toes, but I swear that boy just loves punishment," Mr. Lawrence laughed.
"Hopefully it's just a phase and he'll grow out of it," Kurt suggested with a wry smile.
"One can only hope. The day he stops acting like a child, I'll treat him as such, ya know? Call me old-fashioned, but to me there isn't a thing in this world that a good sound spanking over a father's knee can't cure."
Kurt shrugged. It was a little weird and awkward being told this information, but he just went with it.
"Well, hopefully it'll teach him a lesson and not to do whatever he did wrong?" Kurt suggested awkwardly.
"Hopefully," Mr. Lawrence spoke softly and grinned that grin again. "Well, it was nice to talk with you, Kurt. I too hope that your boyfriend is OK and will return to you someday," Mr. Lawrence stated with a genuine smile this time and gave Kurt's shoulder a squeeze. He stood up and wrote Kurt the pass that he had promised him and sent him on his way. Kurt left feeling a little out of sorts after talking to Mr. Lawrence. He silently thanked whatever entity was out there that he wasn't Mr. Lawrence's son and decided to put it out of his mind and get on with the day. Just two more classes and he could go home and take the nap he so desperately needed.
Well that wasn't awkward at all, right? Lol. Mr. Lawrence is one creepy dude, right? Poor Blaine, right? Sounds like he's in a world of trouble. =( Anyways, thanks for the reviews/follows so far guys, it's still great to be back. Please don't forget to review and let me know your thoughts. As always, reviews really keep me motivated. Reading feedback inspires and let's me know what you guys think! So please keep 'em coming!
- Jamie