Draped in Wires
by. Poisoned Scarlet

Summary: Life after Ed and Al's trip to the east and west respectively, told in a series of one-shots.
Rating: M for sexual themes/situations, graphic descriptions, some coarse language.
Genre: Romance/Humor.
Pairing(s): Ed/Winry; Al/Mei; assorted others.
Author's Note: This starts the second arc of this collection. The rating changes dramatically so I do apologize to those who do not read M rated stories! It does not get very explicit or detailed but there are sexual situations that just can't cut the T rating. I hope you have all been enjoying this collection so far!
My daily updates stop today! I had only planned to update daily for a whole week but I have to stop today due to tomorrow being my birthday! I won't be here all day and when I do get home, it'll be too late to update! I'm going back to my normal schedule: updating every two to three days!
Story Note: N/A.

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.

Theme 016: Good ol' Times

He was starting to suspect someone was conspiring against him because this was the fourth time he had been interrupted from trying something on Winry. If it wasn't Al who bounced in at the moment he created, it was Mei – if it wasn't Mei, it was Pinako and if it wasn't Pinako, it was goddamn Den!

She had left him in that bedroom a few weeks ago hot and bothered and he would swear on the alchemy he so dearly loved that he was intent on taking her up on that offer and losing it already. He already had her permission to pursue her, he had already confessed, so all that was left was the sweet procreation process, right?

Right?

He was, what, twenty one already and he was still a virgin?

Fuck, he cursed inwardly. That's so lame!

He wouldn't be surprised if his little brother wasn't a virgin anymore – that kid was celebrating the new sensations of his restored body with a little too much enthusiasm. He vaguely remembered a time a few years ago, when they had gotten home two months after the Promised Day, that Al had bolted up awake in his bed and woke him up in concern.

"Brother! Ed! Wake up! It's important!"

"What is it?"

"..Um...I..."

"What is it, Alphonse?"

"How do you...get rid of it?"

He had shot his gaze to his bed, to the scrunched up sheets that didn't manage to hide his brothers first morning wood in his human body. Of course, he had burst out laughing – further embarrassing the boy who wasn't used to such bodily reactions. He had barely begun getting used to smelling the clean linen sheets and feeling them rub against his skin but now this? The bulge he often saw his brother get when he was sleeping, when the both of them were still on their quest for the Philosopher's Stone?

"You whack it off," Ed replied flatly.

"What is that?" Al frowned, honestly curious. "I always hear people say that but I don't know what it is! Edward?"

"Wh-what do'ya want me to do about it?" Ed stuttered, still trying to stifle laughter. "It was your wet dream...pfft..."

"EDWARD!"

"ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT!" He sat up, scratching his head at how this was going to play out. He always knew Al would need The Talk again, which they had both gotten from Izumi at the tender age of nine and had been thoroughly scarred for life, but this was a little different than The Talk. This was a guy problem Sig had only told HIM about since he was the eldest and as the eldest, he would be the one to teach his younger sibling the rights and wrongs. "First, let me change!"

"What? Why?" Al replied, confused. "It's seven in the morning! You don't function til nine!"

Ed sighed dramatically. "Al...remember the first time you asked me about that?"

That had been embarrassing, he remembered. Al had laughed at him back then, too, so he justified his own laughter as pay back. Alphonse had known what it was – an erection – but he never did know, or bother to ask, really, how to get rid of it.

Ed had found out it was both weird but relaxing and he remembered thinking that now his little brother would know that private pleasure.

But like hell was he going to give a demonstration or even explain how to do it.

His little brother was on his own on that one.

"Yeah... and you told me it was a hormonal bodily reaction that was normal for adolescences from the ages of thirteen and forward," he replied mechanically. He frowned. "What about it?"

"Remember how I went to the bathroom and I didn't come out for around an hour and you got worried that I was sick or something?"

"Yes..."

"Well, this is a problem only your hand can take care of for around an hour," Ed explained flatly. "You get in that bathroom and FIGURE IT OUT!" He yanked his pants on and threw on a shirt. "Think of it as an alchemy equation you must solve but have little instruction on how to solve it. I'll give you a hint: you use your hand in an upward/downwards motion. Let's see how far you get!" He slammed the door behind him as he left the room, leaving Alphonse to dwell at his words with a lost expression.

He had figured it out quickly enough, of course, and glared at him the entire day for his abandonment when he needed his guidance the most. Not that Ed really cared – he was too busy shooting his brother smirks and busting into random laughter; throwing in a few innuendos that made Al sigh and rub his temples at his immaturity while leaving Winry plain confused.

Those were the good ol' times, he sighed wistfully, slumping back on the couch. He and Al would tease each other mercilessly and they would simply enjoy the luxury of living a happy, normal, unexciting, for-once-not-filled-with-danger, life...

But now he had a new danger to face: himself.

Or, to be specific, his interloping family members who wouldn't let him be a man already!

He tapped his fingers against his knees in impatience.

She was right there, in the kitchen, in that pink apron of hers, happily humming to herself, begging to be taken already and he was too busy mourning his losses on the couch because Al and Mei were in the kitchen talking with her as well and Pinako was Truth-knew-where doing something-he-didn't-care-about...

He remembered when it was all easy before.

He wondered if it would get easier soon as he fell to the side and groaned loudly.

Meanwhile, Al quietly laughed to himself in the other room – completely aware of his brothers frustrations and justifying his intervening actions as pay back for laughing at him when he didn't know how to take care of a certain morning problem.

As his brother so often put: payback was a bitch.