a/n: eeep i am so, so very sorry for the delay. real life sucks shit and i'm writing other fics and ajfa;osfj yeah. thanks to Britt for her fabulous beta-ing, Fransesca for kicking my ass to write this and Jordan for helping me pick Hunter's name ;) songs used: alive, cast of next to normal, rythmn of love, plain white tees and georgia on my mind, michael buble (or at least, that's the version on my IPod...)
The weekend fell by far too soon. It was far too easy to lose track of time in Darren's apartment, in their own little world. They were sheltered there, by the security of their relationship, the power of their love. The sheer strength of it made them forget how small they really were to the outside world.
Kurt said goodbye to Darren Sunday night and it took a good twenty minutes to get out the door, with Joey pulling him in for last hugs and Darren stealing kisses in the hallway. And as he drove off, with an arm raised goodbye to the boys he knew were watching, his stomach turned with dread. It was time for him to go back to reality and face the hard days ahead.
He started at Dalton the very next morning.
Watching Kurt's car fade into the distance, Darren let out a soft sigh and Joey wrapped a warm arm around him, turning to him with a frown.
"You know I love you," he said solemnly, "but sometimes when Kurt leaves it just doesn't feel like home anymore."
Swallowing the thick lump clotting at his throat, Darren nodded.
Yes, he understood all too well.
If home was where the heart was, then Darren's was with Kurt. And when he left, he took home with him, leaving behind the dull base of their house and impending loneliness.
Eventually the two boys slumped back in the living room, Joey planting himself down on the couch, Darren pausing the living room a little restlessly, not quite knowing what to do with
himself.
"He starts at Dalton tomorrow, doesn't he?" Joey asked, flicking through channels absently.
Darren gave a short hum of assent, fiddling through the piles of disorganised books disinterestedly.
"Are you worried about him?"
"What do you think?" Darren snapped, making Joey start a little. Huffing, Darren pinched the bridge of his nose. "Sorry," he sighed, "I'm just… yeah, I'm worried."
"Don't be sorry, man," Joey said. "I guess I'd be worried too – although you shouldn't be," he added hastily. "I mean, with the strict bullying policy I heard you yapping about, the worst case scenario looks like him getting cozy with one of the cute prep boys." Joey let out an undignified snort at his own joke but Darren froze.
He hadn't thought about that.
That night at the Hudmel residence, things were tense to say the least.
Finn's apparent bitterness over Kurt "ditching" them had yet to subside. Carol assured him that the gravity of Kurt's situation just hadn't hit him yet and that soon he would work it out and be very sorry.
Kurt kind of wanted to hit him.
His father had been quiet too. Kurt couldn't help his worrying; he knew tuition at Dalton wasn't cheap at all and that he was putting them out, particularly with them giving up their own honeymoon for him.
He hated this.
He was a burden.
He went to bed early, pulling the covers around his shoulders and nestling in deep, trying to lose himself in the soft warmth and calm dark.
But it just wasn't the same.
It wasn't enough.
What he needed was Darren. He needed to wrap his arms around him, feel the warm, broad hard spanse of his back snug against his chest, tethering him, keeping him from falling away completely. He needed his adorable little puffy sighs, contented smiles and sleepy yawns, the tangle of his hair ticking his chin.
He needed the beat of his heart, comforting and there.
He was so lonely.
The emptiness sunk heavy and languid over him and tears pricked behind his eyelids. He grabbed the pillow from the other side of his bed and held it snug to his chest, tears smattering the fabric as he buried his face close.
He cried himself to sleep.
The next morning he pulled himself out of bed early in order to prepare for the day ahead. He showered until the water ran cold, running soap over his body in soothing, methodical patterns, trying to relax and wake himself from the terrible sleep he had suffered.
He dressed in his uniform and tried not to look his reflection in the eye.
In the blazer and slacks he felt like a soldier ready for battle. He pulled his book-heavy bag over his shoulder and stepped into his shoes, pausing for a moment to steady himself.
"Carry on," he said under his breath.
No one else in the house was awake so he made his own breakfast, forcing down too weak coffee and cereal. Eventually his dad came down and joined him and Kurt didn't even argue as he reached for Finn's sugary cereal.
He didn't have the energy to fight him when he already had to take on the whole world.
It was too much.
After breakfast they hopped in the car wordlessly and headed up to the school. They listened to the radio but Kurt didn't sing along, letting his eyes flutter shut and daydreams wave across his mind.
As they pulled up to the school Kurt felt his stomach drop at the sight of it.
It was fucking huge.
"Oh god," he breathed. Burt reached across and patted his knee.
"C'mon, bud, you'll be fine," he reassured him and Kurt smiled gratefully, thankful that he was talking to him again.
They made their way up to the administrations office together and Kurt tried not to faint at the extravagant décor that embellished the entire school.
It was both magical and terrifying.
The principal was ready for them when they arrived and she sat with them both, prattling on about all the wonderful opportunities Dalton had to offer. Kurt tuned her out, focusing on his dreaming and anything other than the severe wooden plated arm chair he was sitting in.
It was all too much.
All too soon she was done talking and Burt was pulling him in for a goodbye hug.
"Knock 'em dead, kid," he muttered gruffly, clapping his back firmly. Kurt nodded, swallowing back tears.
"Thanks, dad," he whispered.
And then he was alone.
As he made his way down the hallway, Kurt tried to keep his chin lifted, but felt his confidence wavering. The sea of boys that spread from classroom to classroom was bustling and he felt like he was losing himself in the tide.
Feeling utterly lost in the midst of the commotion, he forced himself to remember the principal's reassurances ("If you get lost, just ask around. Our boys will be happy to help you."), praying that she was not exaggerating as he tapped the shoulder of a passing student. The boy paused on his path down the staircase, turning to meet him with an expectant look, a smile spreading over his lips as he took in Kurt. Kurt blushed, knowing he must look ridiculous and out of place here.
"Hi." He forced himself to sound more confident than he felt. "I'm Kurt Hummel, I'm new here… and I'm a little lost."
Chuckling, seemingly good naturedly, the boy held out his hand which Kurt shook with a mild air of surprise.
"I can see that," he said lightly, bright green eyes smiling up at him. "I'm Hunter… Hunter Wilson."
"So…" Kurt's eyes darted around as more boys scurried quickly past him, a blur of hair gel and dark blue blazers. He blinked furiously, trying to distinguish individual features to establish a sense of recognition, to no avail.
They all just looked the fucking same.
"What's going on, anyway?" Kurt asked. They all seemed to be in a hurry.
Looking as if he suddenly remembered himself, Hunter gave a small start.
"Oh! The Warblers, our school's glee club," he said enthusiastically. "They're having a performance in the senior commons. The students tend to get a little excited…" he shot Kurt a wink, still grinning.
"Wait?" Kurt tried to grasp what he was hearing. "The school glee club here is… cool?"
Hunter laughed.
"Oh, Kurt, the Warblers are like rockstars."
And so they were, as it turned out. Hunter helped him navigate through the halls to find the senior commons, shooting him one last wink before leaving him at the door, striding to the center of the room where the Warblers were starting their performance.
He was their lead singer.
My head is stuck in the clouds
She begs me to come down
Says 'boy, quit playing around'
Kurt felt his mouth drop a little in awe as he watched their performance unfold. Their dynamic was so much different to New Directions; neat, tidy choreography, an enthusiastic audience to feed energy off. It was incredible, and the acapella underlines added the most lovely wall of sound.
Kurt was captivated.
We may only have tonight
But till the morning sun you're mine, all mine
Play the music low
And sway to the rhythm of love
And Hunter…
He had a stunning voice.
And long after I'm gone
You'll still be humming along
And I'll keep you in my mind
The way you make love so fine
His eyes sweeping across the audience, Kurt felt his heart swell as he watched how involved the students were, dancing and singing along. It made him ache a little for McKinley, who were still having slushies thrown at them daily, just because they liked to perform.
It killed him a little, knowing that he had escaped, but they hadn't yet.
He missed them so much already.
We may only have tonight
But till the morning sun you're mine, all mine
Play the music low
And sway to the rhythm of love
As the song came to an end, Kurt burst into applause with the rest of them, catching Hunter's eye across the room, smiling back just as brightly.
At least he had found one friend here so far.
Maybe Dalton wouldn't be so bad.
The rest of the day fell by quickly enough as Kurt tried to keep up with the pace of things. His classes were wonderful, much more challenging than he was used to; and it was a welcome change.
Hunter sat with him at lunch, introducing him to his friends Wes and David who were in the year above them and leaders on the Warbler council. When Kurt told them that he could sing they eagerly suggested he audition.
"The Warblers are always on the lookout for new talent," Wes told him welcomingly.
"And something tells me you're quite a star," Hunter added smoothly, winking just slightly.
Kurt felt an uncomfortable twist to his stomach and wondered briefly if he was flirting with him.
No, he couldn't be, his mind soothed. Just because he's flirty and one of the few nice people you've actually meant, doesn't mean he's gay, or even into you.
He's just being nice.
At the end of the day, Hunter approached him by his locker and informed him that Wes and David had talked it over with their other council leader, Thad, and his audition was scheduled for Friday.
"I can help you choose a song if you'd like," he offered helpfully.
Feeling that same uncomfortable twist, Kurt offered him a small smile.
"Thank you, that's very kind of you…" he said gently.
"But…?" Hunter pressed, sensing his discomfort.
"I have a boyfriend," Kurt blurted out.
Hunter froze for a moment before blushing bright red. He spluttered a little awkwardly before pressing his thumb and forefinger against the bridge of his nose, steadying himself.
"I'm sorry," he said with a self-depreciating laugh, "I-I didn't mean- I didn't want to-"
"I'm sorry," Kurt squeaked nervously. "I just… didn't want you to think… I don't know."
Hunter shot him a semblance of one of his messy grins, shrugging a little.
"Its 'kay," he said finally. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
Kurt nodded. "Yeah," he said quietly, feeling just a little sad as he watched Hunter walk off, bag slung over his shoulder, muttering under his breath.
He wasn't quite sure why, though.
Darren was pacing restlessly across the record store floors, glaring at the carpet beneath his feet. Joey watched him with amused eyes, waiting quietly for him to eventually snap and tell him what was wrong.
"This just really sucks," Darren exploded at last.
Sighing a little, Joey pushed aside the store management book, leaning up on his elbows to give Darren his attention.
"I just can't believe you were right," he seethed, running a hand angrily through his mussed curls, his face torn with anger and hurt.
"Well, I usually am," Joey allowed, "but what is it this time?"
"Kurt. Dalton." Darren spat between gritted teeth. "Boys."
Joey smirked. "It is an all-boys school, Darren."
"Day one!" Darren exclaimed. "One fucking day at the school and he's already been hit on!"
"Wait, what?" Joey asked, suddenly confused. Darren had spent a long time on the phone with Kurt last night as Burt had put in a no-dates-on-school-nights policy and Darren had been quizzing him all about his new school. He hadn't heard any yells or anything coming from the room, so they couldn't have fought…
Darren huffed impatiently. "Kurt made a new friend," he explained grittily, "who asked him to audition for the Warblers and 'practice' songs with him after school."
"In so many words?" Joey teased, fighting down a laugh.
Darren glared.
"Kurt said he told him he had a boyfriend and he got all flustered and ran off."
"And what did you say?"
"That if he laid a hand on him I'd throw him down the Dalton staircase."
Joey whistled.
"Good threat."
"They're fucking big stairs, man," Darren agreed shortly.
"And then what did Kurt say?" Joey prompted him.
Darren shrugged, sighing. "Nothing much," he dismissed. "He doesn't seem to think it's an issue."
"Then why are you stressing?" Joey laughed.
Darren pouted. "Because he doesn't know how beautiful he is!" he whined. "He's fucking gorgeous and talented and smart and what am I…?" he trailed off, suddenly rather miserable.
"I'm in my twenties with a useless degree, writing songs and playing in fucking bars. I can hardly support myself, let alone him," he ended quietly.
Joey shook his head, sighing. "Darren, Kurt loves you. And that's all that matters."
Darren nodded slowly, shooting him a small smile. "I'm sorry," he muttered, "I'm just… stressed, I guess."
Joey rolled his eyes, forever in awe of how resilient his best friend was. He could transition from being an utter wreck to sunshine in a matter of minutes.
You just had to know what to say.
"Get out of here," he growled teasingly. "Go get a fucking job or something and stop hanging around mine."
Darren gave an offhand one-shoulder jerk. "I have an audition Friday… I guess we'll see where that goes."
"Good for you," Joey said seriously. It had been a while since Darren had done any serious auditioning. Joey had been worried he'd given up.
And the day Darren fucking Criss gave up was the day the world ceased to turn.
The week spilled by in a flurry of more work than Kurt was used to and way too many wardrobe malfunctions.
"I just can't rock the blazer," Kurt whined.
"It's a practiced art," Hunter appeased teasingly. "You just have to grow into it, I guess."
He had been growing more and more nervous about his audition as the week progressed. He needed this. He needed a place where he belonged.
Because he felt so out of place here.
Everyone was lovely and polite (and endearingly dapper) but somehow… dull. It wasn't fair of him to say that when he didn't know everyone yet, but that's how it came across. They all dressed the same, spoke the same, studied and ate and slept in the same places at the same time in adherence to the school's rigid structure. Even Hunter boarded at school and Kurt found that that was the norm for many of the students.
"My parents live in the country," Hunter informed him. "They wanted me to get a good education, though, but we couldn't afford much. I'm here by academic scholarship so I have to keep my grades up or I'll be sent back home and spend the rest of my life milking cows."
He also informed him that he, like Kurt, had dreams of Broadway and definitely wanted to pursue musical theatre after school.
It was nice to have found someone like him here.
He had been so scared he would be alone.
Eventually Friday came at last and Kurt woke early so he could give Darren a quick call before breakfast, both of them wishing each other luck with their respective auditions.
"You're going to be perfect," Kurt assured him, "they'll love you."
"I love you," Darren sighed happily.
The day passed by slowly and Kurt could feel the nervous energy building in his chest, humming under his skin as he struggled to keep his focus in his classes. As the final bell rang and they gathered in the senior commons for the start of rehearsal, Kurt could feel their expectant eyes sweeping over him.
He could do this.
When Wes finally called him up to audition, after addressing the initial Warbler matters of affairs, he was rocking back and forth on his heels, trying not to look as nervous as he felt
(and failing miserably).
He handed Thad his backing track and took a deep breath, catching Hunter's encouraging smile across the room as the melody to his well loved tune spilled over the speakers.
I'm what you want me to be and I'm your worst fear you'll find it in me
Come closer, come closer
I'm more than memory I am what might be a mystery
You know me, so show me
The Warblers watched him with interest and he tried to make eye contact with all of them, his confidence building with his voice as he sunk further into the lyrics, finally letting his smile and belts take over as he took to the chorus.
I'm alive, I'm alive I am so alive
And I feed off the fear that's behind your eyes
And I need you to need me it's no surprise
I'm alive, so alive
I'm alive!
And performing for them, he felt it too. He felt like he was living and breathing air.
It was like he was more than he really was.
As his last note hung in the air, the final chords of the song drifted out and applause thundered through the group of boys. Blushing and breathless, Kurt took a short bow, unable to stop his pleased smile at their reaction.
"Kurt Hummel," Wes said grandly, stepping around the table to shake his hand, "welcome to the Warblers."
"Darren Criss," the man called him in eagerly. Darren stepped into the audition room, a little nervous but still smiling.
He couldn't lose his smile.
(Then he'd lose everything).
"Hi, guys, thank you for having me," he said as confidently as he could. The casting table nodded, impressed smiles painting their faces. The director gave him a strange look under the brim of his yellow cap.
"You look familiar," he said.
Darren shrugged, a pleasant flutter humming in his chest as he hoped he recognised him from his videos. Carefully he handed over his resume and waited quietly as the director flipped through it. Ryan, his name tag read.
Suddenly Ryan grinned up at him.
"A Very Potter Musical," he exclaimed. "Saw it, loved it."
Flushing, Darren grinned. "Thanks, we had a lot of fun making it."
"So…" Ryan continued, flipping through his sheets again, "you're auditioning for the role of Blaine?" Darren nodded. "Perfect," Ryan declared. "Sing for us?"
"Absolutely," Darren said with a cheeky smile, taking his sheet music and handing it to the piano man who rolled his eyes under bushy brows as he took in the music.
"When you're ready," Ryan prompted.
As the instrumental started up, Darren rocked back and forth on his heels, just a little nervously. he hadn't wanted a gig so bad in quite a while. He hadn't told Kurt much about it, not wanting him to get excited in case he didn't get it, but he felt strangely confident about this.
The role was for a high school kid called Blaine Anderson, a budding musician and writer, who wrote songs about the people around him. He was an openly out and bullied kid, something Darren could relate to all too well right now, but even without that it was an important role to him.
It was going to be a brilliant show, Darren knew. Bringing to life the trials or real kids, real people.
People like them.
He had gone all out for this, getting his hair cut neatly and forgoing his guitar. He wanted to make a good first impression and the description for the boy was clean cut, gentleman like.
He wanted this so bad he could cry.
And he did. As the music and lyrics flowed through him and he burst his heart out through song, he felt hot tears prick at his eyelids and hardly bothered to blink them back.
Other arms reach out to me
Other eyes smile tenderly
Still in peaceful dreams I see
The road leads back to you
It was a song he was fond of singing. He had sung it to Kurt on the phone the other night, along with a few other selections, and Kurt had insisted he choose this one.
The looks on their faces told him it was the right choice.
"We'll be in touch," Ryan dismissed him when he was finished.
And then it was over.
Skitting on nervous energy, Darren hurried home, almost speeding in his excitement.
It was Friday.
Which meant, no school tomorrow, which meant Kurt was coming over tonight.
He had left Joey a tactful note, asking him if he would mind crashing at Joe's house tonight and when he arrived home it looked as if he had agreed. Rushing about in the empty space,
Darren started his preparations, putting fresh sheets on the bed (although he was sure they'd need new ones again tomorrow), starting dinner and cleaning up the living room. He had gone to an effort to buy Kurt's favourite pasta and ice cream, wanting everything to be perfect for them.
They had both had a busy week – they needed this.
He pawed through his closet for a little bit, debating over whether to dress up or just wear comfortable clothes.
(They would be taking them off soon enough, anyway).
He settled on a thin t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants just as the door rang and his heart flipped and fluttered wildly in his chest.
He was here.
Excitedly, Darren bounced across the space, half flinging the door open. He felt warmth melt through his chest as he took in his slightly flustered appearance, cheeks a pretty pink, eyes a perfect sparkling storm green tonight.
"Darren," he breathed, a smile lifting up his entire face as he swept into his arms. Darren hugged him tight and close, breathing him in, burying his face in his hair.
"I've missed you," Darren murmured, "so, so, so fucking much."
Kurt tightened his hold, clinging to him just as desperately. "I love you," he whispered. Darren peppered kisses to his hair, running his hands frantically over his back, desperate to feel him, warm and strong, like he had always been.
God, he had missed him.
Slowly, they pulled away but Darren couldn't leave his eyes. Soft beads of tears clung to his lashes and he blinked them away, sniffling a little.
"Are you cooking?" he laughed, a little incredulously.
Starting a little, Darren remembered the soup still on the stove. "Yes!" he exclaimed, breaking away suddenly, scurrying off to check on it. "Oh my god is that smoke?"
Eventually (with some help from Kurt) they got dinner ready and served and sat down together.
"This is beautiful," Kurt murmured, casting an appreciative eye over the table, taking in the blue roses and white table cloth (he hadn't wanted to risk candles).
"I thought they matched your eyes," Darren said, grinning cheesily, "but they're green tonight."
Kurt ducked his head a little shyly. "Are they?" he said quietly.
"First thing I noticed," Darren sang, ready to reach across the table to grab his hand, but Kurt beat him to it, looking up at him earnestly.
"I've never had someone to notice before," he said breathily, lips split into a wide smile. "I'm so glad it's you."
Squeezing his hand, Darren felt something warm tug in his chest.
"I am so glad I get to be that person for you," Darren answered quietly. "I want to give you the world, if you'll let me."
"You're so cheesy tonight," Kurt teased, flushing his lashes demurely.
"And you're flirty," Darren murmured. "And lovely… and sexy…"
Kurt blushed fiercely but held his eye. He had missed this, all of this, all of him. The way he talked, the way they talked; the banter, the flirting. He missed having his hand held, being noticed, being loved with every little touch and breath and word.
And he had only been gone a week.
How was he supposed to last until the end of the year?
After dinner they laid down with a movie but they didn't make it past the credits before Kurt had Darren on his back beneath him, kissing him deep into the couch pillows.
"Bed," Darren whispered, his hands slipping beneath his shirt, running desperate patterns up his abdominals. "Now."
"Not enough time," Kurt growled, his breath husky and warm against his lips. He awkwardly fumbled to pull his shirt off, but Darren wouldn't stop touching him.
"No," Darren whined, pulling him back as he attempted to sit up, "just like this." He peppered kisses up the side of his neck, gripping his hips in his hands and guiding them to roll against his. Kurt gasped, clutching needily at his hair as Darren's lips slid wetly across his skin.
"I love you, I love you," Kurt murmured and Darren pulled him back down for another kiss, their hands tangling in each other's clothes as they moved together, their hips rolling messy and out of rhythm now.
Suddenly, Darren turned them over, pressing Kurt back into the couch as he slid down his body, kissing up and under his shirt, mouthing over his hipbones as he palmed him roughly. Kurt rolled his hips into his hand, his hands curling in Darren's hair frantically.
Darren replaced his hands with his mouth, kissing the fabric tenderly, holding Kurt's hips down as he struggled beneath him.
"You're perfect," he murmured, mouthing at him through his pants, pressing his fingers just above his waistband.
Kurt struggled to keep his hips still as Darren's hands skated across his skin, warm and broad as they touched him, possessive but loving. They slipped beneath his boxers and Kurt couldn't help but cry out as his fingers wrapped firmly around him, working up and down his length in sure strokes.
"Baby," Darren moaned in his ear, rutting a little against his thigh, "fuck, the sounds you make…"
Kurt whimpered, tightening his hands in Darren's hair as he continued to stroke him, twisting and turning his wrists in the way Kurt had never been able to do to himself.
He made him feel like nothing else.
"C-close," Kurt stammered and Darren pressed his lips sloppily to his neck, murmuring softly into his skin.
"Same, sweetheart." His voice was husky and scratchy and sent shivers up Kurt's spine. "I love you so muc-"
And Darren came first, clenching his eyes shut as he buried himself in Kurt's shoulder. The strangled cries that fell from his lips echoed in Kurt's ears and he felt himself trembling all over,
Darren's shaking fingers only managing a few feeble jerks before he was coming too, Darren's name stuttered between his teeth.
Breathless and still a little dazed, the boys took a few moments to come back to themselves, Darren lifting himself a little off Kurt's chest, beaming down at him.
"You're so beautiful," he whispered, stroking his cheek tenderly. "I've missed you so much… just… all of you." He let his other hand caress his side, squeezing gently as Kurt leaned into his touch.
"Can we go to bed now?" Kurt asked quietly. "I've missed your bed."
Darren let out a mock outraged gasp. "I knew you were only hear for my fancy sheets!"
Kurt snorted. "Yes, Darren," he drawled, "your tatty old college doona just… I can't stay away."
Laughing, Darren pressed a small smatter of kisses under his jaw.
"Come on," he said after a minute, placing one last kiss at the corner of his mouth, carefully rising to a standing position, offering Kurt his hand. "Bed time."
"Shower time first?" Kurt offered. Darren's eyes darkened.
"I was hoping you'd say that…"
Under the rain of water, they did manage to wash just a little bit before Kurt sunk to his knees, tasting the sweet soap running over every inch of him.
"Kurt," Darren groaned, his fingers tangling through his wet care as he worked his tongue over him, twisting and curling and humming around him. Kurt's fingernails dragged long lines up his thighs and Darren's knees shook under him. Kurt only had to moan before Darren was coming hard down his throat, leaking a little out the side of his mouth.
"You're so perfect," Darren whispered, pulling him to his feet and kissing the come off his lips. Kurt smiled sweetly, resting his head on his shoulder.
"I love you," Kurt mumbled.
As the water ran cold, they stepped out of the shower, drying themselves on the fluffy towels Kurt had bought for Darren when he realised he had still been using his ratty old ones from college. Darren tangled their hands together and realised with a start that Kurt wasn't finished as he tugged him towards the mattress.
"On the bed," Kurt murmured, his voice both demure and demanding in the same breath.
Knowing better than to object (and hardly wanting to), he crawled up the mattress, glancing up expectedly.
"On your knees."
Oh.
Darren was quick to move, rising up on his knees, digging his palms into the soft blankets under him. Kurt walked slowly around the other side of the bed and Darren could feel his eyes running over him before he kneeled down behind him. Darren felt heat crawl up and over him as Kurt watched him intently, his fingers caressing the lines of his back just gently as he hovered.
"You're beautiful," he whispered reverently and kissed the back of his knee. Darren felt his stomach twist hot and wanting and although he was exhausted after coming twice already, the need was still there.
"You can lay down if you want," Kurt said gently, "if you're tired, baby." His hands caressed his hips lovingly and he guided them down to the mattress. Darren let his eyes flutter shut at the touch and as they burned under his lids he realised just how tired he was.
"Just like this," Kurt murmured, hot and husky against his ear as he pressed his chest to his back. Darren felt his body melt into the mattress and then an aching absence as Kurt pulled away. He whined but Kurt only chuckled behind him. "Just a second, baby."
And moments later he was back and there was a loud clasping noise breaking through his subduded mind as he felt himself on the precipice of consciousness. But every moment he felt too tired there was a slight shift on the mattress or air and he was back again.
Then he felt a finger and a sharp burn.
"Fuck," he whimpered as Kurt worked him open, slow and burning. "More…" he whined, pushing back on his fingers. He had a thing for Kurt's fingers, so perfect and long and there, pressing just enough to leave him wanting but wanted.
Pushing in with another two fingers, Kurt continued to prep him, kissing the back of his neck in soothing, methodic presses.
Feeling warm and lovely all over, the burning subdued, he nuzzled back into the mattress, letting the sensations flutter around, whirling in his mind.
And then the warmth was gone and Kurt pulled out.
Whining in frustration, Darren smacked the mattress a little, but his attempt was feeble and Kurt giggled behind him. The sound was light and pretty in his ears and then much closer.
And he was closer.
Pressing warm but wet back against him, Darren felt the press of Kurt right up against his ass, his cock pressing thick and so there against him. Darren groaned, pushing back a little weakly but Kurt gripped his hips and guided him.
"It's okay, darling," Kurt soothed, "you can rest, I've got you."
Nodding drowsily, Darren let his head drop back against the mattress and just focused on the warm press of Kurt's hands, roving over his body as he slowly edges inside, and not the burn, not the stretch, but the touch of his lips, soft against his skin.
"Fuck, Darren," Kurt hissed through clenched teeth, "you're so tight."
"'mm sorry," Darren murmured, rubbing a little on the mattress beneath him as the heat in his stomach spread throughout his body, until his toes were tingling and moans hummed under his throat.
Letting out a strangled chuckle, Kurt pushed in a little further, his hands playing melodies up and dwon the keys of his spine.
"I don't let you bottom enough," Kurt mused, his voice throaty and hoarse, and Darren could just picture him like this, his lips red and swollen as he tried to hold in his sounds, and fuck, the sounds he would make.
"More, more," Darren mumbled, pawing desperately behind him, looking for something to hold onto. He felt skin hot under his fingers and the deep heat of his stomach throbbed with how much he needed him. he could feel just the head of him inside, but he needed all of him, now.
Kurt's hands squeezed at his biceps as he slipped in further, and Darren moaned, squeezing desperately at his thigh.
"You're so big, Kurt," was all he could manage, his mind a messy tangle of hot, wet, big, more, Kurt and he was drowning in it. Kurt pushed in further and further now, and Darren felt him groan low and long against his shoulder as he buried himself fully inside, the heat of his panted breaths hot against his skin.
Everything was so heavy, and the weighted stillness held him down and Darren felt himself slipping and slipping in the darkness. The air was hot and warm around him and he could feel Kurt covering him, his steady comfort like a blanket, keeping him safe and he wanted to hide under him forever.
And then he pulled back and slammed back into him, breaking the stillness of the moment and Darren was gasping. He gripped needily at the sheets with what little strength his fumbling fingers could muster, and his toes curled beneath him.
Fucking him deep and suddenly too fast, Darren felt his head spinning as he tried to grasp onto consciousness and the feeling of Kurt in him when he could find it, deeper and deeper and his body was clenching and twisting under him and maybe this was what Kurt wanted, to pick him apart slow and then make him fall apart completely, so only he could pick up the pieces and mould him back into something his, something terrifying and possessively his.
Darren couldn't complain.
There was no warning when he came, hot and wet inside of him, rocking hard and deep into him, his fingers curling a tight first around his own cock and Darren didn't even realise he was so close, but he was and he came, with Kurt's hands on him and his name on his lips.
Utterly worn, Darren face planted back into the sheets with a breathy sigh and Kurt laughed lightly, kissing the back of his neck sweetly.
"Look at me," he asked softly and Darren craned his neck, turning on his side a little. Kurt's eyes were too bright as they stared back into his and his smile pleased and pretty, his teeth slipping out in Darrne's favourite smile. He leaned up just a little and met his kiss, the warm weight of his lips sending sparks of love down his spine and he curled into him.
"You can sleep now," Kurt told him, his lips stretching into a mischevious smile. "I'll clean you up."
His stomach turned darkly as Kurt's eyes flashed hotly.
Sleep probably wouldn't come anytime soon now.
Hours later, waking to the obnoxious bleep of his phone and precarious beams of sunlight, Darren let out a loud groan and attempted to bury him into the warmth at his side. Kurt giggled and shoved him off, kissing him awake.
"Let it go to voicemail," he whispered, rolling him over so he was on his back. Darren felt much more awake at the weight of Kurt straddling his thighs, the press of his soft skin rubbing against his too warm but not enough at the same time.
Darren let out a whine as Kurt rolled his hips, kissing up his jaw as Darren squirmed under him.
"It could be important," Darren protested half-heartedly, his hands gripping his hips tightly even in disagreement with his own words.
"And this isn't?" Kurt purred, kitten licking back down his neck, nipping sharp enough at his collarbone to elicit gasps.
"Kurt," Darren moaned, eagerly raising his hips, reaching up for another kiss-
Before his phone went off again.
Kurt laughed a little at Darren's angry growl, unstraddling his thighs and getting to his feet.
"I'm taking a shower," he announced, "don't let the water get cold." He winked over his bare shoulder before slipping through the bathroom door. Darren swallowed thickly before remembering himself and lunging for the phone just as it was about to ring out.
"Hello," he answered breathlessly.
"Darren fucking Criss," Ava, his manager snapped through the receiver, "you better not be getting a blowjob right now."
Well, not anymore, he thought bitterly.
"No, I'm here," he answered through gritted teeth. "Can I help you?"
"Cut the attitude, Criss," she returned, but he could hear her tone softening. "I have news."
"News?"
"I just got a call from Ryan Murphy," she continued, unable to keep the pride out of her voice any longer.
"You got the part."