a/n: thanks to Jordan for beta-ing. another huge apology for inconsistencies that i will fix in prior chapters but due to the time line, the upcoming competition is actually regionals. Songs used - Pumped Up Kicks by Foster the People, Status Quo by Darren Criss, Stuttering by Jazmine Sullivan, Hearts a Mess by Gotye, Dress and Tie by Charlene Kaye ft. Darren Criss, Make Love to You by Etta James

"Shut. The fuck up."

Darren had to smile in amusement as Joe was the first one to break the tense silence that had fallen between the group. Slamming his fist down on the damp bar table in front of them, Joe let out a delighted whoop.

"Our baby's getting famous!" Lauren chuckled, nudging him with his shoulder.

"Awwww," the group cooed unanimously. Joey was the only who didn't join in, smiling privately to himself, already having heard the news when he'd called him earlier.

"That means you can cover the tab tonight, mate," Dylan enthused, clapping his shoulder. Darren laughed, rolling his eyes.

"Don't I always?" he chuckled.

"I'll have another beer, then!" AJ called out.

"Hey," Dylan said suddenly, leaning over the table to look him properly in the eye. "Why aren't you more excited? Usually you'd be waltzing around like a puppy whose owners snuck crack into his kibble."

Jaime gave him a strange look. "Why do you even know what that looks like?"

"That's beside the point…" Dylan muttered.

"He's right, though," Lauren accused. "You don't look excited at all."

"Of course I am!" Darren exclaimed. "I mean… I never actually thought I'd get the part… I mean… look at me…" he gestured to his ratty plaid t-shirt, baggy on his arms, and worn jeans. His hair was a mess, having come straight from the apartment where Kurt had given him a rather enthusiastic goodbye. "They must be at least a little bit crazy…"

"Don't front, Criss," Meredith quipped sassily. "What the fuck's up wit choo?"

Darren bit his lip, casting his eyes down to the floor, wringing his hands.

"Fuck…" AJ breathed suddenly. "It's in LA, isn't it…?"

Darren nodded, a little guiltily. "Paramount Studios or something…"

"Motherfucker!" Joe crowed, loud enough for the closest tables to glare at them. "You're moving to fucking LA, aren't you?"

Darren nodded again, unable to lift his eyes.

"You're leaving us?" Ali asked sadly, brown eyes wide and sorrowful.

"More than that…" Joey breathed. "You're leaving Kurt…"

Darren lifted his eyes, mouth opening, but before he could speak, the bar manager appeared over his shoulder, calling him up.

"I'll talk to you guys later," Darren muttered, not even looking them in the eye as he walked off, leaving the rest of them staring after him; wide eyed, mouths agape.

"Fuck."

After Darren left for his gig, Kurt found his way home, feeling a little odd. He was sure there was something wrong with him, although Darren assured him he was fine. He'd been… jumpy, and acting almost guilty. He'd been fine the night before, but all morning and afternoon…

Kurt couldn't imagine what – and he certainly didn't want to – but he was acting like he was hiding something.

He gripped his steering wheel nervously, trying to escape those unpleasant thoughts. Darren was literally the perfect boyfriend. He loved him, he took care of him, he was chivalrous and sweet and always honest. He'd never hidden anything from him.

Not the way Kurt had done to him.

At the time, he'd told himself not telling him about Karofsky was the right thing, but now he knew better.

Secrets never worked in a relationship.

So what was up with Darren?

As he pulled into the driveway he tried to convince himself that it was nothing, and put his thoughts aside. Letting himself into the house, he called out to Carole who was cooking in the kitchen and waved at his dad in the living room.

He ignored Finn, heading straight for the stairs.

He had nothing to say to him.

Just as he flopped down on his bed, setting his bag beside him, his phone buzzed in his pocket and he flipped it open with a laugh.

"Perfect timing there," he said after a quick glance a the Caller ID, "I just got home."

"Hey!" Hunter's voice rang down the speaker enthusiastically. "Good… I err… didn't want to interrupt or anything…"

Kurt's face burned.

Oh god.

"Yeah, no I'm err… home… obviously." He laughed a little nervously.

"God, Kurt," Hunter teased, "I can practically feel your blush through the speaker."

"Shut up," Kurt shot back defensively. "Just because I don't have the advantage of melanin…"

"Melanin…" Hunter chortled. "Right…" he cleared his throat. "Anyway, I actually had a reason to call other than making you blush…"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Get on with it, then…"

"The Warblers are auditioning people for Regionals solos next week," Hunter said gleefully, "and I may or may not have put in a good word for you… they want you to audition."

Kurt nearly dropped the phone.

"Oh my god!" he gasped delightedly. "Are you serious?"

"No, I'm Hunter," he joked and Kurt rolled his eyes. "Nah, I'm serious. They love you, dude."

"Hunter…" Kurt whispered, touched by his kindness. "Thank you… I just… thank you."

"You're welcome," Hunter assured him. "Now, hurry up and prepare a song because they want you to audition on Wednesday."

Socked feet up on the couch, Darren flipped through the TV absently, mulling over the thoughts swimming in his brain. He was really fucking exhausted, which made him confused because he always slept wonderfully when Kurt was over, even if they didn't do a whole lot of it.

He didn't want to go to bed alone.

Darren let out a yelp as Joey flopped down suddenly, crushing his feet under him.

"Move your ass, Richter," he snarled and Joey hopped up, waiting for him to move his feet before sitting back down again. Once he was seated, he grabbed the pillow beside him and whacked Darren with it. "Hey!" Darren cried. "What was that for?"

"Being an ass all evening," Joey said pointedly. Darren ducked his head.

"Sorry," he muttered, "I'm just-"

"I know," Joey interrupted. "I was just saying, dude… I mean, everyone's worried about you, everyone's scared. We don't want you to leave either."

"I don't have to take the job," Darren said, "if he doesn't want me to."

Joey looked up, startled. "You would actually let him hold you back?" Darren's eyes said everything. Joey chuckled darkly, shaking his head. "You actually think he'd let you do that?"

Darren shrugged. "I don't know… I…" he sighed, struggling for words. "It's been really fucking hard already, and that's just with him at a new school. What's going to happen when I'm in another fucking state?"

"That's pathetic," Joey snapped, anger flaring up in his chest. "Darren, you've been waiting for this opportunity for years. You'd be a fool to let it pass by."

Darren nodded meekly. "I know," he murmured.

"And if you have that little faith in your own relationship, maybe it was doomed from the start."

Darren looked up sharply, like Joey had slapped him, his jaw agape, eyes widening. "That's not what I meant at all!" he exclaimed. "I love Kurt, more than I love anything in this whole fucking world – he's more important to me than any job."

"Then what's the problem?" Joey yelled back. "How about you consider his opinion before you actually make a decision. Why don't you just fucking tell him about it?"

Darren couldn't look him in the eye, feeling his throat clot up, even as he finally spoke.

"I'm afraid he'll leave me."

Shaking his head in disbelief, Joey lunged at him, tackling him into the couch pillows. As he tickled him, Darren gasped and spluttered, trying to shake him off, laughing as he threw his head back, struggling for air.

"You're a dick, Darren!" Joey exclaimed. "He loves you – why is that so hard for you to see?"

Finally, as Joey clambered off him, Darren could breathe again, sitting up straight. "Because he could do so much better. And he is – he already has one boy after him… how many others are there going to be? And they'll be there – they'll be there when I can't be. What if I miss his prom? His graduation? I can't walk hand in hand with him down the halls, I can't bring him lunch every day and sing with him in Glee Club. I can't even pay for his dinner like those stupid prep boys can. What do I have that they don't?"

"You just don't get it," Joey huffed. "You have ten times what they do – you know why?"

Darren shook his head helplessly.

"You have his heart."

Hours later, Joey had gone to bed but Darren was still wide awake, doing as much research for the show as he could, learning about what little plot had been revealed, the known cast list, and the director's previous work. He didn't find much new information, but he was eager to find out what he could. If he was going to commit to this he needed to know what he was in for.

So far, he had found out that the main character Blaine Anderson was just an ordinary gay kid in High School, struggling with his wish to pursue music, domineering parents, estranged brother and being taunted at school. Darren had seen a few episodes of some of Ryan Murphy's other shows and he had liked what he'd seen.

This could be his big break.

Just as he was contemplating sleep, his phone buzzed in his pocket and the Caller ID told him it was Kurt. Heart fluttering in his chest, Darren answered eagerly.

"Hey, baby," he greeted him fondly, unable to help but tease him just a little, "miss me already?"

"You know I did," Kurt purred and something hot twisted in Darren's stomach as vivid memories of the previous night turned in his mind (the ones were Kurt was purring other things along the shell of his ear, along his skin, dotting kisses along the paths he left behind…). "But that's beside the point – I need your help."

"My help?" Darren drawled suggestively and Kurt laughed brightly.

"No, your actual help," he said affectionately. "I have another audition…"

The word made guilt taint the warmth of his chest. He had to tell him-

"I was wondering if you could help me pick another song," Kurt continued. "It needs to be something big… but not too big – I don't want to scare them." he laughed a little nervously. "I just… I want them to notice me."

Affection warming his chest, Darren grinned, an idea striking him suddenly.

"Kurt, can I play you something?" he asked carefully. "I think I know the perfect song…"

The next morning, Joey padded into the kitchen to find Darren already there, hovering over the stovetop attempting to fry eggs.

"You're cooking?" he said by way of greeting, lips curling up in amusement. Darren let out a little hum of assent, quickly turning into a hiss as he burnt himself.

"Motherfucker," he muttered under his breath, sucking at his finger where it'd been burnt. Joey shot him a sympathetic look, sliding onto the barstool tucked under the counter.

"You talk to him yet?" he asked, reaching for the instant coffee.

"No," Darren murmured, not meeting Joey's eyes as he spoke, returning to his cooking, "not yet…"

"Darren." Joey sighed disapprovingly. "You need to make a decision…"

"I know!" Darren protested, still not looking at him. "He's just got a lot on his plate at the moment… the Warblers want him to audition for a solo at Regionals… and he's got… family…"

Joey gave him a look. Darren huffed, finally looking at him, resigned.

"Fine," he said petulantly, "I'll talk to him… as soon as his audition's over."

Joey groaned, rolling his eyes.

"Darren Criss you are fucking douchebag."

For Kurt, the days fluttered by like pages on a calendar, rolling by languidly and easily. He had enough in his days for the time not to seem too slow, though. The dull ache of loneliness had been somewhat filled by his weekend with Darren, but he still longed for the days when they'd spent all their afternoon's together.

But he had his audition to keep him busy, and he was constantly humming Darren's song wherever he went, singing it under his breath in the car, while he was studying, between classes – and belting it out in the shower and his bedroom.

He adored it, and not just because Darren wrote it. It was powerful, and different.

Just like Darren.

The night before his audition he got a phone call from Hunter, who he had seen less of in the previous week as he knew he was working on his own audition.

"Hey you," Kurt sang happily, flopping on his stomach as he rolled onto his bed, his calculus homework abandoned on his desk.

"Hey," Hunter answered warmly and Kurt could sense the smile in his voice, "you pumped and ready for tomorrow?"

"Like you wouldn't believe," Kurt said excitedly. Hunter let out a surprised laugh.

"That's good!" he enthused. "What're you singing?"

"No, you first," Kurt insisted.

"Pumped up Kicks by Foster the People," he announced. "I've already arranged the acapella piece – it's gonna sound awesome!"

"Someone's confident…" Kurt murmured. Hunter laughed again.

"Don't worry, Kurt," he assured him. "There's totally room for two soloists at competition. What are you singing?"

"It's a song my boyfriend wrote," Kurt said, unable to keep the pride out of his voice. "It's called Status Quo."

Hunter let out a little hum that Kurt couldn't quite pick the meaning behind. "Can I hear it?" he asked.

"Sure…" Kurt agreed, a little hesitant at his response. "Er…" he cleared his throat. "Right now, or?"

"Go for it."

Kurt took a deep steadying breath, letting his eyes flutter shut and the music flow through him.

It starts without questioning the answers…

"So, what did you think?"

There was a momentary silence. Kurt took the moment to catch his breath, his heart stammering hard in his chest. That song meant so much to him, and he put his everything in it when he sang it.

He needed Hunter to like it.

"It's a beautiful song," Hunter murmured thoughtfully and Kurt felt this cheeks flush with pride. "But…"

Oh no.

"But what?" Kurt asked defensively.

"I'm not so sure it's what they're looking for…" Kurt's heart sunk at his words. "I mean – it's beautiful," Hunter said hastily, "and it's you and you sounded beautiful… but I can't imagine us singing that song at Regionals."

Sparks of hurt flitter around Kurt's chest and he has to stop himself from hanging up the phone.

"The Warblers have always gone for more of a… top 40 route," Hunter admitted.

"Well, maybe it's time to change that," Kurt snapped.

"Kurt-"

"I'm sorry," Kurt sighed, feeling annoyance curl around his chest. He was hurt by what he said but he had limited friends at Dalton as it was. He couldn't afford to lose Hunter. "I-forget it. Your song was brilliant – you'll probably get the solo…"

"Kurt…"

"So how's your French coming along?" Kurt asked abruptly, changing the subject. He heard Hunter's sigh down the other end but thankfully he didn't object.

"Terribly," he confessed woefully. "I'm absolutely going to fail.."

Kurt finally hung the phone up two hours later after talking Hunter through all his French homework. He went to bed not long after, hoping to get a good night's rest before his audition tomorrow.

But as he tried to sleep he tossed and turn with worry, Hunter's words still lingering in his mind.

He wanted this solo more than anything. It was his chance to show the Warblers everything he had.

Should he take Hunter's advice? Should he go with one of his Lady Gaga tunes or Florence and the Machine – artists he adored, knew he could sing, and knew the Warblers would appreciate?

Or should he try and make a statement. Sing his boyfriend's song.

But then Darren's smile flashes in his mind – the one he'd bared after Kurt told him he'd sing his song. So proud, so happy, so in love.

No, he had to sing Darren's song.

And if the Warblers didn't like it – their loss.

Right?

The day passed in a static blur. The hours dragged past languidly and Kurt was anxious and restless. He just needed to get this over and done.

Then he could breathe.

Finally Warbler practice dawned and Kurt hurried to the common room, humming to warm up his vocal chords. Wes beamed at him when he came in and something excited beat in Kurt's chest.

Maybe he had a chance, after all.

He sat nervously through the audition pieces. Jeff and Nick both sang Top 40 hits, ones that Kurt had heard so many times he thought his ears might bleed. Hunter, however, was utterly perfect, his voice crooning out the tune to perfection, receiving thunderous applause from all his fellow Warblers.

Then it was Kurt's turn.

He gave his little speech about the song about how Darren wrote the song for his friend's musicals and a little about how much it inspired him and what it meant to him and what it could be to the Warblers. He caught Wes watching him with a warm smile and interested eyes and he felt his confidence surge.

He studiously ignored Hunter's seat.

And then he sang. And he sang with his whole heart and belted until his lungs couldn't anymore. The performance was a blur but he was happy with how he did.

They clapped but Kurt could hardly hear for the pounding in his ears. He smiled graciously and took his seat, his stomach fluttering nervously.

"We'll let you guys know, soon, okay?" David assured them.

That time couldn't come soon enough.

Over the weekend Darren had told Burt he was going to his parent's house for the weekend and after much begging from Kurt, he had allowed him to take him out to his gig tonight. Kurt had been eager for the distraction from his audition, his heart turning with worry all afternoon in the wake of it.

He dressed in Darren's favourite jeans (the black skinny ones with the back pocket that fit the shape of his hand), a black t-shirt and white leather jacket, tousling his hair in a casual style. Darren picked him up after dinner and waited until they were safe out of Burt's eye before giving him a kiss of appreciation (deep and dirty).

Darren's arm was a warm comforting weight around his back as he led him up to the group's table. When they reached them their greetings were enthusiastic Kurt was passed around the group, receiving many bear hugs and smattered kisses. Kurt marvelled at how much he'd missed them. it was clear they were his friends now too.

"Oi, Criss," Brian hollered, "get this boy a drink!"

Kurt tipped his head back with a musical laugh, slotting into the seat they'd left for him. Darren dropped a quick kiss to his head.

"What can I get you, love?"

"Just a beer, thanks," Kurt requested, caressing his cheek gently before he slipped away, the gagging noises of his friends sounding behind him.

"You boys are sickening, you know that?" Dylan deadpanned. Kurt laughed.

"Don't be jealous, darling," he teased, "there's plenty of fish in the sea…"

They roared with laughter and Kurt grinned, his eyes sweeping across the bar as they settled down. He adored this place – the setting, the people, the atmosphere… Up on stage he spotted a vibrant looking girl he hadn't seen performing before, belting out a tune that made his stomach turn with memory for his best friend, Mercedes.

I'm trying to find the reason why I'm stu-stu-stu-stuttering

"She's gorgeous," Kurt murmured and Brian beside him, followed his eye, a knowing smile painting his lips.

"That's Charlene," he informed him. "She's a good friend of ours – well, Darren knew her first. I think she wanted him to play with her tonight… they sound incredible together."

Kurt frowned as something like jealousy stirred in his chest. Catching on, Brian only chuckled, patting his shoulder reassuringly.

"You have nothing to be worried about," he assured him. "Char and Dare are like… brother and sister. Seriously. She adores him – but she's got a boyfriend."

Nodding, relief warming up inside, he turned his eyes back to the girl, singing her heart out on that stage. She really was brilliant… and beautiful.

And I'm starting to think you are why I'm stu-stu-stu-stuttering…

Darren returned just in time as the last notes of her song rang out. He placed their beers down on the table before bringing his hands together, clapping hard for his friend, whooping and catching her attention.

"Yeah, Charlene!"

Charlene spotted him with a grin. "Darren Criss," she trilled into the mic. "Get your fat, well fucked ass up here and sing with me!"

Darren shot Kurt a hopeful smile, reminding him endearingly of a little puppy who wanted to go play. "Do you mind?" he asked. Kurt reached up to kiss his lips quickly.

"Not at all," he murmured. Darren tightened his grip on his jaw, kissing him deeper before pulling away and rushing up to join his friend.

"Disgusting…" Brian muttered but AJ shot him a wink across the table so he knew it was okay.

"Hey, everybody," Charlene addressed the crowd, "this is my good friend-"

"Best friend," Darren corrected with a scoff, "you don't have any other friends."

"It's true," Charlene amended with a mocking nod, "anyway, this douche here, Darren Criss has so generously agreed to stop tonguing his boyfriend for a moment to come sing with me so-"

"I'm putting it to good use," Darren joked, flicking his tongue out to tap the mic. The Starkids groaned in disgust, but Kurt couldn't help but grin. One of the things he loved about this place – the acceptance. It was just a group of people who wanted to enjoy themselves with good music and good food and beer and friends and no one was going to ruin that for anybody.

"-please don't throw drinks at us," Charlene finished. "This is a song I wrote a while ago-"

"I love this song!" Darren cheered.

"-called Dress and Tie, and I play it every time I'm here so if you know it feel free to sing along…"

Charlene gave Darren a nod of ready before she began to strum, muttering the beats under her breath. Darren gripped the microphone between his hands, ducking his head along to the melody as she began to play.

"I love this song," Ali gushed, burying further into AJ's arm, wrapped warm around her shoulders.

"It's pretty groovy," Dylan agreed, nodding.

Kurt craned his neck, eager in his anticipation as she opened her mouth, smiling as she began to sing.

Every night I walk the streets...

As promised, Kurt did get to meet her after the performance. She took Darren's place as he took her mic, leading the audience through some of his old favourites, originals, and a few new ones.

Pick apart the pieces of your heart…

"So you must be Kurt Hummel," she greeted him cheerily as she sat down.

"That's me," he returned, shaking her outstretched hand, her nails a vibrant yellow to match the scarf around her neck.

"And you're just as cute as he said," she grinned. "He talks about you all the time."

"All the time," Lauren, Brian and Joe echoed seriously.

Kurt couldn't contain his smile.

"I really liked your song," he told her honestly. "And the one before that too… it was really beautiful."

"Thank you," Charlene said gratefully, looking quite flattered. "Darren says you're quite the singer, too. You should go up and join him."

Kurt's cheeks burned at the thought. "No… I couldn't…" he murmured.

"Oh my god," Ali gushed, "that's a wonderful idea – why haven't you?"

Kurt shrugged, keeping his eyes downcast. "They probably wouldn't enjoy my voice here…"

"No way, man," Joey interrupted. "Your voice is fucking awesome -why wouldn't they?"

Because I sound like a girl, Kurt thought miserably.

He just shook his head.

"If Darren had of wanted me to sing with him he would have asked," he said, hoping to end the conversation there.

"Are you serious?" Joey laughed. "When was the last time Darren asked for anything he really wanted? That's not him, man…"

"Darren knows he can ask for anything he wants," Kurt shot back, a little petulantly. A few catcalls sounded from around the group but he ignored them, his eyes fixed on Joey who was muttering something under his breath, eyes dark. "What was that?" he asked loudly. Joey looked up with a start.

Your heart's a mess… you won't admit to it…

"Nothing."

"That wasn't nothing," Kurt growled. "Joey, what did you say?"

Clenching his jaw, Joey locked his eyes firmly.

"I said that if Darren had no worries asking for what he wanted he would have asked you to wait for him already."

Kurt frowned, puzzled. "Joey, what are you talking about?"

Murmurs hummed around the group and Kurt watched them worriedly, a few of them wearing shocked expressions, AJ's mouth agape, Jaime studiously looking away, Ali biting her lip guiltily. Joey's expression was unchanging.

"Darren," he said, "is going to LA."

It makes no sense… but I'm desperate to connect…

And you can't live like this…

I just want to make love to you…

Darren's eyes were searching, halfway through his next song, seeking out his boyfriend. He had put this in the set at the last minute, knowing the effect it would have on him – or at least, the effect he hoped it would.

Burt wasn't expecting them home until two hours after his gig…

But as his eyes darted across the table he had a perfect view of his friends who seemed to be bickering about something – but no Kurt.

Alarm bells ringing in his ears, he stumbled through the rest of the song, unable to concentrate with the worry creeping up his chest. When he finally finished he cleared his throat, addressing the audience quickly.

"Sorry guys, I just have to check on something…"

He made his way quickly through the tables until he came to theirs, giving Brian a little shove.

"Where's Kurt?" he asked hurriedly. Brian's face fell and Darren's chest sunk.

"He's gone," he said quietly. Darren looked up frantically, seeking out Joey's eyes that locked onto his sadly.

"He knows."