CHAPTER 7: HAVE FUN AT SOMEONE ELSE'S EXPENSE

The entrance's archway was lit up by blue lights and a railing on the side of the bridge into the lake had similar blue lights. -The heck are those lights anyway?- He saw a pink hedgehog wearing a blue dress. -Okay, I read up on the Arthurian tales before I went in. Now I know EVERYTHING, and you have been warned about spoilers. I bet Nimue was pissed that I just killed her 'adopted' son. And when I say 'adopted', I mean KIDNAPPED.- Nimue was waiting there. She turned around to greet them, and her eyes looked like they had bags.

"I've been waiting for you, Knight from another world." Nimue said, her voice calm and controlled. It seemed like she was trying too hard to accomplish that, though. "I think I know why you're here. It's about Excalibur, isn't it?"

While she was talking, Sonic took the time to crack his neck rather audibly. "Yup. I like how you're straight to the point."

Nimue walked up to the small pool of water she had on the shrine. Sonic followed suit, and sat down on a bench that circled it.

"I'll tell you how to hinder the Scabbard's power of immortality. I'm the one who gave it to him, so it's kind of my fault, see?" Nimue explained. "But still... whoever defeats King Arthur and takes the scabbard might end up turn out the same way, right?"

"Alright. And?" Sonic questioned.

"So I have three tests for you." -I never got why I had to do tests. Since I already know how to do it, can't I just ditch her? Nah that would be too assy.- "Would you like to hear them?"

Sonic complained. "Why don't you just tell me and I bring it to you so someone you don't trust doesn't have their hands on it, yeesh. I'll give you Caliburn if you don't trust me with the Scabbard and a weapon. Whatever. I guess I'll go for it."

She glared at him for a moment, -Oh yeah she's mad.- before continuing. "First, free the innocents from King Arthur's dungeon. Second, offer compassion to those in need. Third, defeat King Arthur and the knights of the underworld."

Sonic opened his mouth to complain again. "I can't defeat King Arthur while he has his Scabbard, Nimue."

Nimue was visibly trying to hold back something, by the look on her face.

"Oh stop acting like all wise." Caliburn whispered.

"You have three days." -I did it in one the first time.- "Good luck."

With that, she started to shimmer out of vision. -You know what fuck it all. Time to switch into MAXIMUM TROLLERDRIVE.-

"Why not tell me to defeat the Knights of the Round Table first, I already blew that smug asshole Lancelot's face off, I'm a third of the way there." Sonic said to Caliburn very loudly. -WORTH EVERY SECOND OF IT.-

"RRAAAAAAGHHH!" A bloodcurdling scream from behind Sonic and Caliburn roared as Nimue stopped fading away. "YOU IGNORANT SLOB! YOU DID THAT TO MY SON AND YOU HAVE THE GUTS TO CALL HIM AN ASSHOLE!"

SHE MAD. Also ALLCAPS.

"Sonic you fool!" Caliburn insulted

"Woah woah woah WHAT? He was your son? He looked way too old, heck almost older than you. What happened there?" Sonic stammered, trying to play dumb, and doing good at it too.

"I raised him up as a knight to become part of the Round Table." Nimue answered.

"That much I can figure out myself. But how did you get him? He looked way too old for it to be natural."

The lady of the lake stammered. "I... I..." ~"But sometimes that just, ain't enough, to keep a man like me INTRESTED. Oh no, no way, uh uh. No I gotta go, out and have fun, at someone else's expense. Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, YEAH YEAH YEAH!"~

"Kidnapped?"

"GO AWAY!" Nimue screamed, shimmering back into view and raising a hand to smack Sonic across the face. Sonic grabbed her arm.

"Do you want Arthur dead, or can I just find another dragon and ride it into the sky back to my home?" Sonic asked. "Because I'm sure there's gonna be another guy as good as me -if not better- to come along with the same goal in mind that will go on a wild goose chase to find out how to kill the King, while he rapes and pillages the whole world."

"Sonic! Stop that now!" Caliburn interjected.

Sonic changed his view to Caliburn. "I'm the hero, I think I should be treated with respect."

"But she's trying to help!"

"Yeah, but while she's putting me on a quest to continue my quest, King Arthur kills more and more people. Those who die are other people's fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters..." Sonic stopped to look at Nimue, pushing her hand down to her side. "...Sons."

"... Fine!" Nimue admitted defeat, with a tear rolling down her eye. "But..."

"I'm listening."

"... You must bring it to me IMMEDIETLY."

"Can I leave with it?"

"What?"

"I asked if I can go back to my world with the Scabbard? There is this guy that keeps on trying to take over my world and this would really help. Especially if I already thrash the guy."

Nimue stared at Sonic, debating to herself if she should trust that.

"Besides, Merlina knows her stuff. She wouldn't pick an average Joe to save this world from evil. She'd get someone experienced. Unfortunately, for you AND me, I was not overqualified for that position."

"What do you intend to do with it, specifically?" Caliburn questioned.

Sonic rolled his eyes. "Okay let's see. The guy has thousands of minions he just keeps on making, the guy made a clone of me out of metal, he built a giant base in the sky, and recently he keeps on summoning giant ancient monsters to do the work for him, almost monthly, which turn against him, and then he turns and fights alongside me. I win without the Scabbard's help. I could do it all like two times faster if I had the Scabbard."

"I..." The girl stammered. "... I guess you can take it. But..."

Sonic raised an eyebrow.

"You must do a blood pact. You leave with the Scabbard, it shall not come back. If you break it you have no powers, no speed, no Scabbard, nothing."

"Fine by me." Sonic said, relieved. -That didn't go like I had hoped. It was disappointing. Good idea, pissing her off, but I fucked up somewhere, making my kind-of-an-asshole alias sound like more of an asshole villain than I had hoped. Next time, just be nice. Wait, no. NEXT RUN I WILL BE A LADYKILLER. YES. Oh my god I am just too good.-

…

A couple hours later, Sonic was ignoring Caliburn's extremely large and anger-filled rant on how Sonic acted around Nimue as they walked back into the Blacksmith's shop. -To be honest I couldn't give a shit and a half. I'll do the tasks anyway for free, anyway. What I did was just... I dunno how to put it. It felt good when I first did it, but after some arguing... Feels bad man.-

Sonic shrugged. "Look, I honestly don't care about your bitching, I'm still going to do it, I always was, and your lecturing isn't doing it faster. I just felt like being an ass then. But, I hate using the cold logic I did then..."

Caliburn outbursted in response. "You feel like an idiot for doing that! Exactly! Next time you meet her I want you to apologize for the-"

"Who are you, my mother?"

The fox put the hammer down and spun around in his chair. "What happened?"

"The sword that's been stuck in a rock for the last century or so thinks he knows how to deal with people." Sonic commented.

"When you put it like that, it does sound stupid," Caliburn replied. "But the fact that you acted like a jackass to the Lady of the Lake, the entire time, just because you wanted to, is even MORE stupid!"

"Well I was feeling cold. I just blew this guy's head to bits, got covered in his blood, and then learn later that I just killed her SON that she might have kidnapped, I don't know, she never answered, so yeah I was in a pretty bad mood."

The blacksmith nodded as Sonic explained. "Delightful. Never had a girlfriend, have you?"

Sonic stared blankly at the blacksmith. -WHAT. How the... why... Is Tails TROLLING me? He's better than I am.-

The blacksmith chuckled a bit. "I'm taking that as a no." -I don't think this is Tails. He wouldn't pull shit like this, even on people he hates.-

"And you do? How old are you anyway?"

"Fourteen. Why?" -Aha! This isn't the Tails I know. But... about four years older though... If this is what Tails will be like in four years, except he likes me better, beating Eggman will be much more hilarious. Along with every single day.-

"Just wondering. You seem a bit young for that stuff."

"I have a girl." -YOU BEST BE JOKING. Why does TAILS get all the love. I respect the sidekick and all but yeesh. I'll let him go do that stuff when he decides to follow the promise he made back on the ARK. You know, BE INDEPENDANT? Step in front of me when there's a big robot 20 feet away, volunteer to help me out, you know. Doing things on a whim, without me saying anything. Be a hero for once, and not a martyr.-

Sonic rose an eyebrow. "How long d'ya think that'll last before something screws it all up?"

"Not soon, for sure."

Sonic rolled his eyes. "Let's get back to business. Is the boomstick already done?"

"Workin' on it." The Smithy said, looking back at it. "I messed up on making some of the parts, so I have to make them again. Shouldn't be long though."

Sonic gave a thumbs up. "Alright." Sonic looked around a bit, and then looked back at the blacksmith. "Where are the mercs?"

"Downstairs, making themselves comfy."

"Thanks." Sonic made his way to a stairway going down and found the three men and the woman he met that morning, laying out sleeping cots.

"Alright, listen up. I went to see Nimue, the Lady of the Lake, today. On the way I met Lancelot. I blew his brains out of his head. Anyway, she gave me three tests, that I want you to help me with."

Saxton, laying on his cot, looked at Sonic, and then back at the book in his hands. He was holding a feather with ink on it. "Shoot."

"I picked the one for you guys, I think you'll like it." Sonic replied. "I need you to find some money lying around and start handing it out tomorrow, do not steal it, keep extra money to yourselves. Meanwhile, I'll get to work on busting out the jailed civilians. When you all wake up, go out and start working."

"Easy 'nough, I guess." Saxton commented, not paying his full attention.

Sonic backed up out of the doorway and started heading up the stairs. "Alright, get some sleep."

"'Ey, what 'bout that third one?" Saxton questioned before Sonic left fully.

Sonic turned around. "Already done. Did it on the way back here, right Caliburn?"

"Yes, we defeated at least seventy enemies on the way back. Nice work, I really liked that one where you impaled that one minion on the wooden barricade." Caliburn answered.

"Yeah." Sonic turned back around and headed up the stairs.

"Now I'm going to just lay down and just rest because I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight. Lancelot got turned into a bloody mess..."

"Wait you killed Lancelot?" The fox at the table asked. He was shocked that the person he designed the weapon for was as skilled as he was.

Sonic turned to the fox. "Yeah, blew his head open too. It was as disgusting as it sounds, man. I'm gonna have nightmares..."

Smithy looked at the ground, and looked back at Sonic. "What was that dream about again? I don't recall what it was."

"You don't remember it because I never told it to you."

"Well will you?"

"The most I want to say about it is that it was a killjoy, because I went lucid, and then everything went to hell."

"Any specifics, I mean?"

"Shit got random halfway through and I was obliterated."

"I see. Well, sucks for you, because you have to sleep sometime."

"Yeah, well, go fuck yourself with a cactus." Sonic jokingly said, causing an uproar from the weasel downstairs.

Sonic laid down on the rug he slept on last night, staring at the fire once more, this time for an hour or so, until he finally drifted off into sleep.