CHAPTER 8: DO YOU HAVE IT? GUTS!
"Aaaaaallright ladies and gentlemen," said Sonic with a tone to suit an announcer while wearing an orange suit and tie. -Why the fuck am I in a suit that doesn't look good on me? I'm no expert on fashion but god damn I have eyes too.- He was standing at an entrance to a water park. "It's TIME for another episode of DREAM TEAM DEATHMATCH!" -Third person dreams tend to suck.-
Off to the background stood The Babylonian Riders and the Dynamite Crew. The Babylonian Riders had smug faces, while the Dynamite crew was not as happy. Fang was holding a slick black gun. He grunted as he pulled the odd slide back and put in a dart. Bean frowned and looked down at himself, or rather, his full-body bandolier of flashbangs. Bark just stood there, cracking his knuckles.
"Last time, you saw JACKIE CHAN while trying on four layers of baggy pants, babysitting, in a foldable chair, table, and ladder factory, and wanting NO trouble, versus the UNIVERSE! I am honestly surprised the Universe won. Jackie must have had an off day. Anyway, today, we have the Babylonian Riders, and the Dynamite Crew! Okay, just like that one time where we pitted the entire British Army as of 1776 against five hundred Spetsnaz soldiers, there will be an objective. In the middle of this water park, there is a bag with a person in it. The Babylonian Riders are to bring her to me. But, the Dynamite Crew must go up ALL THE WAY to the top of the hill, and drop her down the tallest water slide in the park- OR, the Babalonians can wait until the ten minute timer runs out and they win!" -I sound like Vince Offer.- "So whaddya say guys? You all ready?"
The Babylonian Riders stood on their hoverboards, ready to begin. Fang sat on the Marvelous Queen, revving the engine, while Bark sat in the sidecar. Bean sat in the background with his arms crossed.
"Yeah." Said the contestants.
"Alright the timer starts in three, two, one AND A AH-go."
Before any of the contestants on vehicles could react, an explosion blasted behind them, and Bean soared through the sky.
"FREEDOOOOOM!" Shouted the duck as he disappeared into the tree line toward the center of the park. The suit-wearing Sonic was bamboozled at how Bean managed to cause the explosion, as he was given only nonlethal weaponry.
After a short moment, Fang saw his chance and dashed ahead, leaving the shocked birds still at the starting line. The riders soon started off and dashed for the center of the park.
Due to the Marvelous Queen's slow acceleration, the Babylonian Riders were catching up fast, especially Jet. Fang handed Bark the tranquilizer dart gun. "Stop 'em!"
"Which one, Rockay?" Bark asked in reply.
"I don't give a fuck, just stop onna 'em!" Fang ordered. Bark turned around quickly, barely aimed, and fired.
The shot flew toward Jet's board. But, due to the bad aim, it ricocheted off, an flew toward the other two riders. Wave got hit, and fell off her board. Storm smashed into her and was sent flying, screaming in the process. Jet looked back in worry, but shook it off as he raced on.
"Hold up a sec...!" Fang had hatched an idea. He went as fast as his bike could go, and saw Bean with a bag. "Bean, gimmie the bag!"
Bean held it out as far as his arm could, and Fang snatched it as he went buy. He then drove off a cliff, scaring Fang for a moment, who then realized how big the fall was, letting the Marvelous Queen fall and hover just above the pool stationed just twenty below it. He began to turn as Jet followed the hoverbike.
Fang reached behind the seat and grabbed a small box. He raced back toward where the fallen riders were. "Alright, get off."
"What?"
"JUST GET OFF YOU LARDASS."
Bark jumped out of the sidecar and rolled onto the ground. Fang tossed Bark the box and shoved the bag into the sidecar. Bark grabbed the box and looked at it. "Whaddo I do with this, boss?"
"I'm sure your small brain can think of somthin'. Why not try opening the box first?" Nack replied smart-assly as he continued to ride on. Jet was soon to follow, and he pointed and laughed at Bark, assuming he fell off.
Bark opened the box, and looked around.
Fang decided 'what is wrong with messing around with the rides to stall Jet for when Bark is done' and decided to take a detour. He pressed a button, putting the side car in front of the bike, and went into a small fenced in walkway, a line for a rope swing into water attraction. He looked back to find Jet following. Good. Fang turned into the walkway to the last rope swing and jumped off his bike, grabbed onto the rope, and flung off. "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHH!" Fang shouted, as if singing 'Won't Get Fooled Again'.
He landed on his hoverbike, which bumped into the platform to leave the pool, he did what seemed to be a wheelie on water, and lifted the bike onto the platform and drove out of the attraction. Jet had tried to do something similar, but he failed to grab onto the rope and went into the water. He got out quick regardless.
Storm got up as he rubbed his head. He flew right into a tree. He shook it off and looked around, to see a beige polar bear carrying a bag up hill. He began to sneak up behind the bear as best as he could. As Bark entered a locker area, Storm grabbed Bark by the shoulders and threw him into a locker, causing him to drop his bag. Bark turned around getting ready to block, but he was a bit slow with raising his arms, and took a punch to the face. Storm repeatedly sent punch after punch into Bark until he was on the ground, unable to defend himself well.
Suddenly, something smashed into a row of lockers. This took Storm away from beating up Bark to look around. Suddenly the row of lockers he had held Bark up to flung over, spinning at just the right speed so Bark didn't get hit, and smashed into Storm. The Marvelous Queen's hovering system,thinking the lockers as ground, flew up into the air. Jet was to follow, but by this time the locker was almost completely flipped over in the other direction. The hawk's board smashed into the locker, sending the Hawk flying down the hill.
Bark got up and looked at the Marvelous Queen, turning back to the ground and decelerating. "Bark, toss me the bag!" Said Fang as his bike was descending.
Bark walked over to the bag and tossed it to Fang. Fang tossed this one over his shoulder and dashed on.
Bean was at the stump of a tree, setting up a trap, when Fang raced over. "Bean, get in the water slide."
"Can't you see I'm busy?" Bean grumbled.
"I'm busy too, just work with me. Get in the water slide just enough so you aren't seen, but make sure you can come out of the slide through the entrance."
Bean sighed, dropped what he was doing, and crawled in. He put a hand on the side of the tube to keep himself upright.
"Good. Catch."
Bean caught the bag as it slid down toward him. It shook him, but he was upright. "Now what?"
"Wait 'till I come back." Fang loaded another round into his dart gun. "When I come back, I want you to give me the bag, and you have to slide down."
"Arright."
Fang got onto his hover bike, patting the bag, and racing off.
Jet was back on his bike, perusing Fang, with Storm just behind him. He watched as Fang reached the top of the hill, and got off the bike, and grabbed the bag and began to climb the wooden stairway up to the water slide entrance. Jet did not get off the board as he went up the stairs.
Fang was wondering what the whirring noise behind him was. He turned around into a punch, and was sent spinning. He fell to the ground using his free hand to hold the spot he got hit. Jet tried to pry the bag from Fang's hand, but the weasel was vicious with it. He kicked the bird, keeping a strong hold of the bag. Then Storm came along, and lifted the weasel, and let Jet take the bag from Fang. Storm then threw Nack off the wooden staircase, to land on his hoverbike and fall to the ground.
Jet grabbed his board and began to rush down the stairs, getting on it again as he got off the staircase. Nack noticed this, and he quickly scrambled to his feet and onto the Marvelous Queen. He just passed the stairs as Storm jumped off them, and hopped onto his board. Fang followed Jet, until he came up to the tube slide again. Fang stopped and hopped off, raced up to the entrance and stuck his hand in. As he was doing this, Storm was looking in curiosity.
"Gimmie the bag." Fang ordered. Bean tossed the bag to his boss, who turned around and got on his bike again.
"HEY!" Storm shouted, turning around to try to beat the weasel to the top.
Hidden by the commotion, Bean tip toed out of the slide, and grabbed a rock. There was a string tied to the rock.
"Shit!" Fang cursed as he started back up to the waterslide.
Bean tossed the rock across the path. It looped around a tree branch. Bean quickly hopped down into the water slide and slid down.
Storm was going as fast as he could go, trying to catch up to the enemy leader. He saw a rock fly by, and looked in curiosity as to who threw it. He turned and saw Bean slide down the water slide when suddenly he felt a small string break against his chest.
Jet heard an extremely loud 'pop' as he reached the cliff from earlier. He looked back and saw Storm on the ground holding his eyes. He grimaced, but he continued to go back to the starting line.
"Not so fast!" said a voice from behind the hawk. He turned around to see a green duck holding a flash bang.
"OH MY GOD." The hawk shrieked as he raced as fast as he could, taking out one of his fans to help push him forward, leaving behind some turbulence.
Jet reached the finish line seconds later, with a smile on his face.
"Well, we may have a winner." Said Sonic, taking the bag. "Let's check."
He opened the bag, and held it away from his face. After a moment, he looked inside, and chuckled.
"What?" Jet asked annoyed.
Sonic looked at Jet. "You were swindled." The announcer reached in and pulled out Wave by the back of her shirt. -Owned.- "Played like a violin."
Jet stared at Wave. He wasn't focusing on her, he was zoning out to what that meant. "DAMMIT."
Sonic looked off toward the top of the hill, and took a few steps. "Oh, look Jet, it's your victory about to be plunged." Jet rushed over to see what he was talking about.
Sure enough, Fang was on the top of the wooden stairway at the top of the hill, with the bag over his shoulder. He let it down on the slide and kicked it. The bag slid down the slide at an amazing speed before finally stopping at the bottom, splashing into the water.
Fang, cheering, saw Bean and Bark coming up the hill. He decided to greet them. He jumped down the other slide to get down, and when he got up Bean and Bark hopped over the fence to the deck where customers get off the slide.
"Let's see who's inside." Bean said.
"Yeah." Bark said as he grabbed the bag. Nack snatched it back.
"I made the plan, I'll open it." The weasel said. "It's not like you won't see who it is, anyway." He opened the bag.
"Pop goes the wea-sel!" said a pink hedgehog as she raised her absurdly large hammer.
As Fang and the crew were getting mauled, Sonic walked up to the fence. "And that concludes this episode of DREAM TEAM BATTLE. Goodbye everybody!" -Kickass dream. Fuckin' KICKASS.-