I hope the last chapter wasn't too cheesy for you guys! xD This one's a little more subdued. It's in Seth's P.o.V. And, yes, it might be a little sad...

~SashaFierce12.0

Chapter 11

Seth's P.o.V.

I was currently in the bathroom staring at my reflection in the mirror. I looked so...

Dead...

I still haven't slept in a couple of days, and it was starting to take its toll on me. But I tried not to show it. And I also haven't slept since...That episode three days ago. It was so weird; sometimes I really want to speak, but when I try, nothing comes out. And I still haven't gotten rid of this...This longing to...To...

To kill myself.

But I knew that I couldn't do that to Leah. I was the only thing that she had left, and I wasn't going to leave her now. But that didn't stop me from doing this...

I sat down on the toilet and looked at my arm. Then I took the razor in my hands and cut deep into my skin. I watched the blood drip onto my jeans and instantly felt better. As I watched myself heal, laughter erupted from downstairs. I sighed and made more cuts. Then I moved to my other arm.

Why couldn't I be like them? I wanted to go back to the happy guy I was before all this happened. I wanted to laugh again. I squeezed my eyes shut and cut again. Tears rolled down my cheeks.

We all want things. Did that mean we were ever going to get them? Hmm...

When I was done, I cleaned the blood off my arms and tried my best to get the stains out of my jeans. I couldn't let anyone see. I just couldn't...

After making sure I looked presentable I put the razor in my pocket, and went to the guest room to find a shirt to cover myself up. After finding one, I went downstairs. Everyone looked at me and smiled. I noticed that Leah was in Jacob's lap. I smiled when I saw them. He was good for her.

"He smiles!" Emily exclaimed. She rushed over and grabbed my arms. I tried my best not to wince; some of my cuts still stung. "Now do you want a muffin?" My smile fell a little, and I tried to speak...Again, nothing came out. I nodded instead. She jumped up and down in obvious happiness. Why can't I have that? "Yes! Yes! Yes! I saved the biggest one just for you!" She pulled me into the kitchen and handed me an abnormally huge muffin. It had to be bigger than my head! I sat down and looked at it, realizing that she and everyone else in the room-minus Claire, who was napping-was watching my every move. I lifted it up and took a little bite, chewed and then swallowed. Then I looked at everyone else, who were all still starting at me.

What?

I took another small bite. I'd have to admit, Emily's muffins did make me feel a little better. But not by that much. Everyone soon started to talk again. Quil came over to fill me in.

"So, it seems like your sis and Jake are officially a couple! And how do you feel about that?" He put his hand up to me like a microphone. I looked down at the (still very big) muffin and just shrugged my shoulders. "Still not talkin', huh? Oh, well!" he wandered off to go and horse around with the other guys. I sighed and pushed my muffin away. No way was I going to be able to finish that. I was already feeling a little sick from the only two bites that I took. Paul walked over and sat down on the chair across from me.

"Hey, Kid," he simply said. I looked at him, then looked back at the crumbs on the table. "You okay?"

I don't know what did it...But I know it wasn't anything that Paul had said. But I started to cry. Not loudly, just enough so that tears rolled down my cheeks and I sniffed.

"Man, I'm sorry...I..." Paul looked so lost. I just shook my head and stood up. I walked upstairs to my current room. Then I laid on my bed and cried myself to sleep.

000000000000000000000000

I walked downstairs and instantly heard joking and laughter. When I made it down the last step, I could see that everyone was here. Kim, Jared, Quil, Jake, Embry, Collin, Paul, Brady...And of course my sister, Sam, Emily, and Claire was here. How late did I sleep in?

"Hey, Sethy! Ready for school?" Leah asked. She was sitting down at the table, and Jake had his arms wrapped around her, leaning on her head. I shrugged and sat down beside her. "Want some breakfast?" I shook my head and she huffed. "But you have to eat breakfast!" I tried to protest, but my voice was still gone. She pinched my cheeks and said, "Okay, Leah, oh gorgeous sister of mine, I would just love some breakfast!" Before I could swat her hand away, she was already up to go get me some pancakes. I rubbed my cheeks, then pulled down my sleeves. I'd chosen to where another long sleeved shirt today, I had cut this morning, and my scars were pink and noticeable. Before I knew it, Leah had placed a heaping plate of pancakes in front of me. I twisted my face in disgust. I really didn't want to eat. Leah rolled her eyes. "C'mon!" then her voice softened, like Mom used to do. "Please? For me?" I looked at the ceiling, she knew that I couldn't say 'no' to her when she did that. She handed me a fork. I cut a little piece and stuck it in my mouth. She smiled. "Thank you!" Then she kissed my forehead.

"Ohmigosh! If we don't leave for school now, we'll be late!" Kim exclaimed. I've never been so thankful in my life! This gave me an excuse not to finish breakfast. I jumped up and headed for the door, not waiting for the others to catch up. It was drizzling outside, but I didn't care.

"Hey, Seth! Wait up!" Brady yelled. I inwardly groaned and stopped. Finally, he made it to me. "Mind havin' a walking buddy?" I shrugged in response and continued on my way. Brady didn't say anything after that. We just walked the way to school, and when we finally got there, I just walked the rest of the way to class. I wasn't usually this early, and I was the first one in besides Mrs. Pitts.

"Hello, Seth," she greeted me. I kind of smiled, then sat down in my seat. "Oh, while you're here, do you think that you could erase the white board for me? I have to run to the Xerox Machine." I nodded and did as I was told. Soon after that, class started and then ended. And then I had another class before lunch.

I made my way to the cafeteria and immediately heard the guys' shouts for me.

"Seth! Over here!" Jared yelled. I looked at the ceiling and then headed towards them. "Saved you a seat!" I gave him a small smile and sat down. As the rest of the guys ate and talked, I kind of just stared at the table, lost in my own thoughts. Then someone tapped my arm. I tried not to wince, but it was kind of hard, my cuts still stung from this morning.

"Sorry! I-" Kim started. Then she looked at my arm. I looked at it, too. Crap! There was a huge blood stain on it. "Umm, Seth? I think you spilled some ketchup on your sleeve..." she pointed to it and then reached for a napkin. "Here, let me," she grabbed my arm and I winced again. "I'm sorry, Seth! I just wanted to get the stain off! Does it hut, or something?" I yanked my arm back and looked down.

"Wait a sec..." Jake started, then reached for my arm. I jumped up, and the others jumped up with me. I sat down, and they sat down with me, too. I was not going to get out of this. All of a sudden, Quil sneaked in from behind me and grabbed my shoulders. I tried to shake away, but couldn't.

"Jake! Pull up his sleeves!" he ordered. Jacob did as directed. He rolled up my right sleeve and suddenly got this pained look in his eyes. I looked down at my arm, and a tear rolled down my cheek. It was covered in pink scars. Some of them were the same color as my skin, raised up a little. Jake yanked up my other sleeve, and Kim gasped. It was an exact duplicate to the other one. Quil's grip loosened on me and I jerked out of his grasp. Then I stood up and walked out of the lunchroom, the whole cafeteria watching me go.

I...Can't...I can't write an author's note for this one. Just click the review button and get on with your lives.

Digital tissues and cookies to all that cried while reading this.

~SashaFierce12.0