Draped in Wires
by. Poisoned Scarlet

Theme 029: Man to Man

"Al, has anyone ever given you The Talk?" Ed asked seriously, pulling up a chair and sitting down while his brother choked on the loaf of bread he had been munching on. "Aside from Teacher?"

"T-th-the Talk?" Al croaked, appalled. "Please tell me you're not going to give me The Talk, Ed!"

"I think it's time I paid back Sig." Ed sighed heavily, cracking his knuckles. "Alright, let's get this thing over with!"

"But, Ed, I really don't need—!"

"You don't." Ed agreed flatly. "But it's best to keep a few things in mind if you plan on developing a casual relationship with Mei."

"Casual? What do you mean by casual? Mei and I haven't—!"

Ed glared.

Al nervously looked around, noticing the house was seemingly bare of anyone. He wondered where Mei and Winry were at the moment and silently hoped one of the two picked up his distressed mental signals as his brother continued.

"Look..." Ed began heavily, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Out of the two of us, I think it's safe to say I should be getting that talk again."

"Again?"

"Sig..." He clarified, looking away with a hint of embarrassment. "Remember when we used to live with Teacher and she pulled me out while you went out to train?"

"Yeah, and then you didn't come out of your room for the whole day."

Ed cringed. "That was why..."

Al sympathetically smiled. "At least it was with good intention, right? Besides, I went through it, too!"

"Yeah, right, they just wanted to mortify me!" Ed snorted, then sobered up again. "Al...you do know how... to use a... condom, right?" He asked, painfully slow, feeling his cheeks heat. These weren't regular things he and his brother discussed but he was concerned and aware that his brother let himself get carried away in the sensations of his original body sometimes...

"Yes, Ed." Al sighed, maturely shaking his head at his brothers pink cheeks. "I read it in a biology book."

Ed perked up at those two blessing words. "Biology book? You read it all in a biology book, right? Right?" He asked, hopefully.

Al arched a brow. "Yes?"

"YES!" Ed cheered in triumph. "Then I don't have to give you The Talk after all! The bio book took care of it all for me!"

"What about you brother?" Al reversed the roles after his brother finished his small parade, crossing his arms expectantly. "Do you know how to put on a condom?"

Ed blinked. "Yeah, you tear it out of the package and pull it on when you're hard—!"

"Okay! Okay!" Al rose a hand to stop him before he got carried away. "But you are aware of the consequences, right? While condoms offer the most substantial protection, there is a slight percent chance that it might rip or slip off."

"Yes, Al." Ed rolled his eyes. "But that won't happen."

"You have to consider the possibility!" Al insisted. "If you don't, then you might do something you'll regret!"

"Like?" Ed snorted.

"Leave Win—!"

"Let's get one thing straight." Ed cut him off brusquely, already knowing what he was about to say. "If, by some chance, protection fails and Winry becomes pregnant, you can be rest assured that I won't pull a dick-move and leave." His voice hardened. "I'm not going to become a replica of our bastard father – I'll take care and love those kids like he never did to us! I give you permission to rip off my right arm if I ever hint otherwise." He added, rather morbidly, for extra measure.

Al smiled wryly. "Well, as long as you understand that if something goes wrong you'll have to take responsibility for your actions..."

"Of course, Al, jeez!" Ed scoffed. "Besides, how hard can it be to take of a kid?" He said this while remembering Elysia and Nina – both, of which, his heart wrenched for as one was fatherless and the other deceased.

Al inwardly snorted. It was much harder than he obviously assumed but he wasn't going to be the one to break that to him. "Anyway, you've worn protection every single time, right?" He wasn't naïve enough to think Edward was modest. Edward was anything but modest when it came down to these types of things...at least, once he shed his embarrassment.

"Yeah." Ed answered breezily. Then he paused, thoughtfully, and Al saw his face edge into uncertainty before it blanked and became bored once more.

Alphonse felt his stomach churn. "Ed..?"

"What? I already said yes!"

"No, you had that look on your face." Al apprehensively said.

"What look?"

"That look – the one that usually means you aren't sure of something or you can't remember! Edward, please tell me there hasn't been a time. Be honest!"

Ed shrugged a bit, looking away from his penetrating stare. "...I pulled out towards the end." He cringed at Al's horrified gasp.

"EDWARD! You idiot!" He shouted, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. "It only takes once!"

"I didn't come inside!" He shouted back, defensively.

"Premature ejaculation counts!" He fired back.

Ed groaned, embarrassed by the entire conversation. "Alphonse, it's been, what, around a month since? She's on her rag right now, I'm sure of it, so there's nothing to be afraid about!"

"It doesn't matter!" Al firmly replied. "If you did it once, you're prone to doing it again! Edward, you are far from ready to be a dad and you know it! You can barely take care of yourself – I doubt you could care for another person!"

"Hey! I can be a good father if I put my mind to it!" Ed snapped, irked by his brothers low-view on him. "Besides, I don't know what you're so worried about." He muttered, with a scowl. "She'd probably be thrilled..."

Al forgot whatever he was about to say to stare at Edward, who was grumbling internally at his brothers snap. "What do you mean she'd be thrilled?" He asked, slowly.

Edward flashed guarded eyes to him, fingers tapping against the wood quietly before he shook his head. "Nothing. Forget I said that – it was a stupid thought."

"No, Ed." Al encouraged, tone losing its edge. "Tell me what you were going to say."

"It's...just...Winry, she.." He struggled, brows creasing to show his troubled thoughts. "I really don't know what she wants anymore!" He gave up, exasperated; slouching in his chair and gazing ahead with that stubborn furrow between his brows. "I keep getting the hint that she wants to get married and start a family but on the other hand there are times where I think she only wants this," he gestured around himself, "to keep going as it is." He grumped, showing his brother this was a subject he often mulled about. "I'm losing sleep over this." He rubbed his eyes out for emphasis. "What do you think?"

Al replied, after a few minutes of prolonged silence: "I think she's giving you a choice. She doesn't want to pressure you into getting married so she's leaving it up to you!"

"Why though?" Ed asked, frustrated. "Can't she just be upfront about it? Does she wanna' get married or not because either way I'll be with her, so what does it matter?" He scowled, fed up with her mind-games.

"Marriage is a very big leap, Ed." Al answered sagely. "It isn't something you can just brush off if things don't work out between you and Winry."

"They will work out!" Ed firmly stated. "Sure, we might get into arguments but we've always done that! I doubt there would be an instant where that would be different!"

"You two tend to communicate more through shouts, anyway." Al nodded breezily.

"Exactly—hey!" Ed glared. "Getting yelled at by her isn't very pleasant, you know! You're lucky Mei doesn't do shouting!"

"It's worse with her..." Al mumbled. "She ignores me."

"So?"

Al gave Ed a candid look.

"Ooh." Ed trailed off, understandingly. And, as Jean Havoc once perversely put: "No make-up sex?"

Al rolled his eyes; he had heard that term come out of the mouth of a certain cigarette-addicted soldier more times than naught. It wasn't surprising Edward had picked up the term although he was impressed he managed to say the 's' word without stuttering. "Edward, really? I barely started seeing her as my...girlfriend around two weeks ago!"

Ed shrugged. "That's how we make up." He grinned cheekily, glad to regain control of the conversation. "It's better than normal—!"

"Okay! I really do not want to hear this!" Al interrupted, hand held out to stop him in his tracks. "Just keep it in mind, Ed: she doesn't want to pressure you into doing something you're not ready for. I can assure you now, she won't reject you if you officially propose marriage to her – ring and all. She'll be more than delighted to become the next Mrs. Elric." He smiled, brightly. "She's been waiting for a long time now, why make her wait more?"

"Al." Ed began warily. "How come you always know what to say?"

"I dunno'." Al shrugged. "I'm probably just smarter than you."

"Yeah, right." Ed snorted. "Don't flatter yourself! But I have to admit, there are things you are just too damn good in, little brother. Thanks, Alphonse."

Al beamed at the praise. "It's what I'm here for!"