CHAPTER 14: FIREEEEE
"PFFAHAHAHA!" Degroot boomed. "Oh, I like how he does it, dontcha Al? He does a sum overdramatic speech, hooks 'em in, and half way through it vwoOOP! PHAHaha, ha... Ah, good shit."
"Pretty good, I guess." Al mumbled, unmoved. He was disappointed at how the fight slowed down toward the end.
"DAHMMIT AHLL!" Rachel screamed.
"Welp," Saxton chuckled. Saxton shared the same look as Sonic as he jabbed Rachel with his shoulder. "That cactus ain't gonna fuck itself."
Sonic began to pick up his armor, tossing Lancelot's helmet aside, rubbing his head, and picking Caliburn up out of the ground.
"Now, I don't think that ending couldn't had been any more harsh and unfair." Caliburn commented. "It's almost heartbreaking to see someone lose their freedom like that."
Sonic looked over to Percival. She was cursing, stomping, and breaking bits of rock. Sonic looked back to Caliburn.
"Would you rather her dead?" Sonic replied. "She can at least have revenge while alive. Besides, it's not like I'd do anything messed up with her. Fair is the least I can treat people who can come toe to toe with me in the ring of honor." -I can assure you, if I shot down any of your hopes and dreams, I am absolutely, terribly, and VERY not sorry. As a matter of fact, if you think I should get a girlfriend, guess what? Fuck you! I don't want a ball an chain tied to my legs with the ability to disagree with you and a voice that you can't ignore to go along with it. No sexism implied, just saying.-
"It's still not right, considering the bet you made." Caliburn retorted.
"I hate the thought of slaves, anyway. When it's all done and done, I'll let her go, do as she pleases."
"Gah, You have the right end in mind, but your means are devilish." -Just as planned.-
Satisfied, Sonic turned around to try to calm down the sore loser. He saw that she was continuing her rampage, stomping on a sheer cliff. -OH NOT AGAIN-
"Hey, get back!" Sonic shouted, dashing over to grab Percival's dropped sword, putting the handle in his mouth, and beginning to sprint over to Percival.
Saxton wiped a tear of joy from his eye, and sighed with delight before reaching behind his back. "Anyway," Saxton let out while loading a crossbow bolt.
"Shit! Damn it!" Percival cursed, with each word a powerful stomp on a crumbling cliff side. After a couple audible cracks, she realized she had spent a long time chipping away the support from this very cliff side earlier that day. Her eyes widened in realization. "Fuck. MY..."
It suddenly gave away, the debris making Percival unable to grab hold of something. Sonic dashed up to the cliff side, stopped suddenly, stabbed Caliburn into the side of the cliff, jumped off, and swung himself downward with increased speed, tearing Caliburn out of the rock while doing so.
Sonic snatched Percival's arm and pierced Caliburn into the rockside, slowing down their fall. When they finally came to a halt, Sonic let out a breath of relief.
"Gog gammit girl," Sonic began, Percival's sword in the way of speaking properly. "Nex hime you ho dat I'm hus gonna leht yah faww."
"Why...?" She asked, confused. "Why did you-"
"Flurfin wiff disasha er'eh day." Sonic muffled.
"Oh, get a room." Caliburn rolled his eyes. -He did not just say that. He did NOT. OH NO HE DIDN'T.-
"You talking hunk of scrap, now's not the time for jokes." Percvial snapped, disgusted.
"Perciwal, gwab mah wegs." Sonic said. She hesitated, but slowly she grabbed his ankles. "Awwrigh, gwab yow sworg." Percival grabbed the blunt end of the blade, holding on to Sonic's ankle for her life. Sonic opened his mouth, letting Percival take it out. Sonic grabbed the hilt, and no sooner did Percival's other hand shoot for the ankle she let go
"Alright, thanks." Sonic thanked. -Alright, just like last time.- He shoved Percival's sword into the wall, and readjusted his footing. He withdrew Caliburn from the wall and stabbed him into the wall higher, acting as if he were ice climbing, with Percival holding onto his ankles, using her feet to help climb. "Caliburn, that joke was uncalled for. You go on ranting, saying 'ooh you were rude to the lady of the lake' and then proceed to make sex jokes right after."
"Well if you are rude to everyone else all the time, I thought why not I try to show you what you're being?" Caliburn retorted.
"When I be rude, I don't tell others to act nice. I don't say 'be well mannered around your mother' before calling her a whore." Sonic fired back.
Caliburn sighed, and looked around. Noticing a massive statue rising above the lava, Caliburn chuckled. "Oh, look. It's a life sized statue of your ego."
Sonic and Percival took a look, and while Percival let out a slight giggle, Sonic got ready to argue. "Insulting me does not back up your argument. Besides, that's nothing, I carved my face on a side of an active volcano, MYSELF."
Sonic began to look around climbing while his friends were trying to think of what to say to that, and spotted a smaller statue, with a broken sword. "While we're at it," Sonic added, pointing to said statue. "Statue of your mom, right there."
"Okay, stop it." Percival spoke up in a serious tone.
"Fine, nyeeehEEHHH." Sonic mocked as he climbed to the top. -That was supposed to be a less annoying and loud rendition of the most annoying sound in the world from dumb and dumber. But seriously, how would you write it out? Can you describe it with words? It really IS the most annoying sound in the world!- Sonic raised an arm above the rockside...
And knocked back over by a crossbow bolt.
"SHIT!" Sonic cursed, to check if his hand was alright. Thankfully, the armor was not pierced, the bolt only pushed his hand away. "WHAT WAS THAT?"
"Sonic, I should have told you this before, but I don't think your mercenaries were too happy about you tossing your gun over the cliff..." Caliburn pointed out.
Sonic angrily sighed. "Welp, that sucks. Percival," Sonic flicked the rapier around, and offered the handle to her. "You're going to need this."
Percival, nodding, grabbed the sword, and took a deep breath.
Within a moment, Sonic kicked off the wall, flinging himself and Percival over the ledge. He began taking the shield from behind his back and protecting himself from any more bolts or other ranged weapons as Percival got up.
"Alright, you get closer using the rocks as cover, I'll get their attention while fighting them, then you come up and start attacking, got it?" Sonic ordered quickly.
"Alright." Percival whispered, understanding the logic. He was armored, while she did not put her armor back on after the duel in her near inconsolable rage. Sonic dashed forward, shield still in front of him, meanwhile Percival dived behind a rock, and began to sneak her way closer.
Sonic looked through the see through onyx visor as if it were a glass, saw what his enemies were doing. Degroot was flicking knives of all sorts from his bag, Al took out a short sword, Rachel was nowhere to be seen, and Saxton was in the middle of firing another bolt at Sonic. With a satisfying KPLUNK, the bolt bounced off and landed on a rock off to the side.
Knowing that his opponent had to reload, Sonic dashed over to his first enemy. It was Al, raising his his foot to kick the shield. Sonic jumped to the side as Al missed his kick. Without hesitation, Sonic swung his sword at him, but the giant had already moved out of the way, and was rushing to try to get Sonic from the side. He quickly deflected the stab, and raised his sword to slash the bear, but Al's stab was followed by a punch.
Stumbling to the ground, Sonic rubbed his nose as he readjusted his shield, staring up at his large and powerful foe. -Man, he can punch. I bet he could punch a sword mid-swing and knock it back.- Sonic began to roll over back onto his feet, but as he was doing so, Al sent a stab to Sonic's foot. Sonic's armor held, however, and Sonic rolled back up.
Meanwhile, Percival was finishing up putting on her armor again, while hiding behind a cluster of volcanic rocks. "I'm such an idiot..." she muttered to herself, as she grabbed her sword and peeked out from behind the rubble.
On the lookout was a small green duck. He was juggling knives, wearing a pleasant smile on his face, where he may as well have been at a party. She quickly ducked back behind cover as the green duck noticed her, and, without any sense of alertness on his face, sent a knife whistling into the rock just next to her head.
"C'mon puddy tat," Degroot, flipping his eyepatch up, revealing a perfectly functional second eye. "C'mout and pway!"
Percival was surprised at how fast Degroot could throw a knife, not to mention how many he could juggle. With some hesitation, Percival yanked the knife that was impaled onto the rock. It was a bit dulled by the rock, but it would cut. Percival rolled out from behind the rock, and began dodging knife after knife sent by her enemy. A knife managed to hit her in the upper stomach, but the armor caught it.
When Percival was only mere feet from the psychotic bird, she threw the knife at him. Unsurprisingly, he dodged it, but rolled in her direction. Within her sword's range, to her delight. After a few swift swipes and a presentation of Degroot's moderate dodging skills, he began to throw knives at Percival within close range.
With blood flowing with adrenaline, she began to dodge the knives, catch them, make the armor receive the blows where it would hold, all within ten feet of the duck throwing them. With all the acrobatic and over the top dodging she had to do while wearing her armor, she was getting worn out pretty fast. With the ground covered with knives, her armor scratched and cut, and her lungs empty, she stopped, slumped over with her hands on her knees, breathing heavily, and looked at her green enemy, who was looking less pleased than before.
He had no more knives to throw.
Sonic lunged at Al swinging, and Al managed to meet his sword with Caliburn every time. Sonic decided the shield wasn't going to do much defending from such a large attacker. After a couple more sword clings, Sonic spun to the side, swinging the shield against Al. It knocked the big bear back a fair distance, and it's owner grew a satisfied smile.
Out of the corner of his eye, Sonic could see the weasel aiming down the crossbow's sights.
"Look out!" Caliburn shouted as Saxton fired the crossbow.
Sonic raised the shield in order to stop the bolt from piercing his neck, and with a loud TANG, the bolt bounced off the shield, while a curse was uttered from the shooter. Sonic looked toward the bear he was currently fighting, to see him rushing over toward the hedgehog. Just before Al let lose his jab, Sonic ducked, turned his shield sideways, and rushed through the bear's legs, knocking him over as he was charging.
Sonic stood up and looked back at the bear, who rolled over onto his back. -HEY WAIT A SECOND aren't I forgetting something? … Ah yes.- Sonic dashed over to the grounded bear, dropping Caliburn and the shield. He began to sprint toward the grounded bear, who was backing up on the ground, reaching for his sword.
Al threw the sword at Sonic. -OH FUCK- He quickly he threw himself to the side, barely dodging the blade. Sonic got his footing back and continued to charge toward the now unarmed bear. Sonic jumped without spinballing, and reared his hand back. Al was ready to take the punch to the head.
But then a blade flung out of the wrist.
"Requiescat in pace, tu merde." Sonic said in his best Ezio impersonation. Sonic stabbed Al in the neck with his hidden blade. The large enemy swung to the ground, air gaping out of his mouth, like Lancelot, but before it could get any worse, he pushed himself up from the dying bear, retracting the blade.
Sonic stood exhausted over his now defeated enemy. He took a moment to wipe the sweet from his brow, as he looked over to Percival and Degroot. It was only for a moment, then he heard the snap of Saxton's crossbow, in reaction Sonic rose his shield up to defend himself, blocking the bolt.
"WHY YA SHOOTING AT ME? YOU GOT AN UNARMED FRIEND THERE!" Sonic complained loudly before jumping behind a rock.
"The bloke can handle himself, ya bloody cunt." Saxton remarked while reloading.
In curiosity, Sonic rose his shield, looked through the dark onyx visor, and to the cat and the duck.
Percival was done with her rest, and had heard what Saxton said. She rose her sword, and slowly advanced, prepared for the worst.
When she got within 5 feet, Degroot jumped, kicked his feet up, grabbed something from the bottom of both his feet, clicked them with a chuckle, landed with his feet back on the ground and began swinging something around in his hands. At first, Sonic thought those were some sort of nunchucks, but quickly realized those were not nunchucks. -Butterfly knives... under his FEET? That's like having a collar that shoots darts. Fucking stupid. Ridiculous. Pants-on-head retarded.-
With in a moment, Degroot clicked both sides of the knife together and rushed at Percival, slicing and dicing at her. She almost dropped her sword in shock, and began trying to dodge the blows. Her armor wouldn't hold on much longer.
Just when she was almost about to plop on the ground out of breath, Percival grew a smile on her face. Interested as to why she was smiling near her death, Degroot politely asked, continuing to slice and dice at her, "Has anyone ever told you that you look almost innocent when you smile, even though you've killed dozens of men? And may I ask why you're smiling?"
After one more jump back, Percival stopped. She looked ready to pounce, and Degroot was already in the air. Percival twisted slightly, as if getting ready to punch, and with one quick swipe, she grabbed both of the ducks hands, and held him above the ground.
"I'm sorry, but you don't look as innocent as you do now as you look sinister..." Degroot gulped.
"To answer your question," Percival began, her smile not changing size. "You're short." Percival pointed her sword at Degroot without a change on her face.
After looking at the razor sharp rapier, Degroot looked Percival in the eye.
And started slurring gibberish.
"EVREABODYZAYS AH'MJUSAH WON AYED BLOODEH MOUNSTER! Yougattatelum ayhin ya-"
Without letting him finish, Percival sent the sword through the duck's neck, with blood splurting out the other side. She let go of his hands, the bird still on her sword like a shishkebab, and snatched the knives from his hands.
"YOU BITCH!"
Percival remembered he was not the only enemy she has to fight, and saw a bolt flying toward her head. Quickly, she pulled down her visor, but the bolt nailed itself into the visor at an angle, and the force sent the visor flying back up.
"YOU'LL BE NEEDIN' ANOTHER USE FOR THAT NECK, PIKER." Saxton shouted, his moderately-hoarse Austrailian accent very noticable. Now, nothing is in the way of him shooting his enemies. No friends to accidentally hit. Now he can show his skill, experience with a crossbow, and all the kinds of tactics he's picked up.
Before Sonic could realize it, Saxton was done loading his next bolt.. Sonic jumped from behind the rock with his shield ready to block. Percival rushed behind Sonic for protection.
Saxton took another bolt, and spun off the top of a canteen at his side. It was filled with oil. The archer quickly dipped the bolt in oil, loaded it, and fired. He shot at the rocky ground, and the bolt bounced back up. The sparks from the metal round hitting the obsidian rock created sparks, which ignited the oil, setting the iron bolt on fire. -Holy SHIT.- The round embed itself in the lower half of the shield.
"YA BETTER HOLD ON TO YA HEAD, MATE!" Saxton screamed, while taking out an absurdly large steel round. The bolt had to be the crossbow's size and half more. It also had a counterweight for it's large end, and it resembled a pitchfork's prongs. The mere sight of the bolt that Saxton will be shooting at Sonic set him off.
"SON OF A BITCH!" Sonic exclaimed, too scared of it to even look at it through the extremely tough onyx visor. "THAT'S FUCKING BRUTAL."
"BRUTAL'S MY MIDDLE NAME, YOU SPIKEY BLUE RAT, AN' HOT HEADED BITCH!" Saxton replied, also dipping the brutal bolt into the canteen of oil, and loading it. "SAXTON BRUTAL HAAALE!"
Sonic tilted the shield in hope of deflecting the bolt, but, to his dismay, the now alight bolt blasted through the shield, only stopped by the not-so-on fire pitchfork counterweight. The bolt had pierced, not only Sonic's shield, but the armor on his wrist as well.
-All my life, I wondered why people scream "I'M ON FIRE" when they are on fire, as if they were Captain Obvious of Stupid Platoon. After some analysis, I have concluded that fire has this magical ability to limit one's thinking to one topic at a time. But, what is stopping them from screaming "ICE CREAAAAAM", what is the one problem that is always on the person's mind, while they are on fire?-
Sonic flinched, and keeled over. In a panicky confusion, he took off the armor around it, to look at what happened.
Sonic's eyes widened. -Well, for starters,- The oil had reached his skin, and was burning. -How about the fact that THEY'RE ON FIRE?-
"FIRE!" Sonic screamed, kicking the shield and the bolt away, dropping Caliburn, and began dancing around while tearing off the metal vambrace he had protecting his hand. His glove, and a bit below his wrist was on fire. Sonic wasted no time in trying to get off his metal gauntlet on his right hand, and, in the process, he saw Saxton laughing, firing another normal bolt. Sonic swung his hand like a drunk man and smacked it away with the metal gauntlet, flinging it off by doing so. Sonic rubbed his right hand along his left hand, catching the glove on fire.
"OH I'M BURNIN', IMMAIMMABURNING," Sonic chanted as he began sprinting toward Saxton. Percival was left standing in the dust and smoke. Saxton was late to realize what Sonic was attempting to with fists of fire, and flinched when it hit him. He quickly but shakily reloaded, and fired, but his shot glanced Sonic's armor and flew to the side, as Sonic was running at his signature speed toward the weasel.
Sonic reared his fist back.
"FIYA FIYA FIYA FIYA!"
Sonic punched the sniper at approximately five hundred and eight miles per hour with hands that are on fire, breaking Saxton's jaw, all of his teeth, and sent him flying a dozen feet away. Sonic ran up to Saxton and began punching Saxton's face. Sonic's burning hands eventually set Saxton's cheeks on fire as well.
Percival ran up to Sonic and pulled him off by his elbows. Sonic was still screaming.
"CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M ON FI-"
Fwissss...
Sonic looked at his arms. A bit darker than normal, they hurt, and he could feel dead skin coming off under his fur, but it was no longer covered in fire. There was a short silence, excluding Saxton, who was the one screaming "fire" now. Sonic twisted his arms out of Percival's hands and picked her up from the stomach. "You are awesome!"
Percival didn't like it. "Gah, let me down!"
"Fine, fine."
Sonic was cheering, bouncing up and down. "YES! YES!" Sonic danced over to the screaming Saxton. "Jesus Christ, did you see that?"
"FIREEEEE!" Saxton answered.
"EXACTLY! IT'S GONE!" Sonic cheered.
"FIIREE!" The not-so-purple-now weasel replied.
"Oh gawds, ZAXTUN?"
"... Uh oh."
The two knights turned and looked at Rachel, who had a horrified look on her face.
"You... VUXS!" She screamed. Sonic noticed she had blood coming from her left hand. She ran back to behind a large group of rocks.
"... Should we go after her?" Percival asked as Caliburn hopped over to Sonic's side. -I never got how Caliburn could balance himself.-
"Sonic, that trick with the fire was the most stupid thing I have seen anyone ever even think of doing." Caliburn ranted, before looking at the burning body. "... And work..."
Sonic was wondering what the blood was about. "... Yeah, let's go finish up these traitors." Sonic grabbed Caliburn, and followed the mage behind the rocks.
When they turned the corner, Sonic saw the most disturbing thing he had seen all day. Percival gasped.
There Rachel was, on a mat, with many symbols written in blood. She was saying something Sonic could not place, and the whole thing just made Sonic feel very eerie.
Sonic, due to spending whatever free time he has not running -which is eighty percent of the week- on the internet and playing video games, managed to figure out what she was doing. Percival, being a holy knight, also knew.
Rachel was doing black magic, to summon a demon.
Percival was downright disgusted. "You heathen!" Percival spat, flicking down her visor, and flicking up her sword. "You make me sick! I'll have your HEAD for this!" -Oh god YES, I like where this is going. LET US PURGE THIS CULTIST HERETIC BEFORE SHE SPREADS KAY-OHSS ACROSS THE WORLD.-
Sonic did not say a thing. He dashed forward, with Caliburn raised above his head. She saw Rachel start saying the spell faster as Sonic went at his top speed yet again, trying to stop her.
Sonic was within her summoning circle.
"...-" -... Holy shit. She really is a fucking Cultist.-
"NOPE."
Sonic slashed Rachel as he ran by, the moment Sonic left the circle, something happened. Kind of like an explosion, but not ground shaking. The fire was so thick and bright you could not see through it. It was a moment where no one could tell what was going on, not Percival, Caliburn, nor Rachel.
When the fire dissipated, it was replaced with darkness. No smoke, no nothing, in place of the fire was an inconceivable mass of nothing. Being at the edge, Rachel was holding onto rock sticking out of the ground to avoid being sucked in.
Sonic stared into the void. Sonic took out his bow. "What the fuck is this shit? What the fuck is that? What the fuck is going on?" Sonic said aloud. "Percival, do you see-" Sonic stopped as he saw something walk out of it.
"NO!"
Sonic quickly readied an arrow on his bow, and when out came the crystalline hedgehog with red eye whites and green eyes from within, the arrow went soaring into his mouth, and stuck out the back of his head.
"FUCK NO!"
Another went into his right red eye.
"FUCK YOU!"
Percival came around the void, to see Sonic shooting arrows into the thing that came from inside. She shivered in fear, but regardless, she began sneaking up to it's side as another arrow hit it, this time in it's left eye.
"FUCK YOUR SHIT!"
Sonic readied a fourth arrow, and Percival readied herself.
"GO TO HELL," Sonic shouted. "AND TELL YOUR BOSS, I'M COMIN' FOR HIM NEXT!"
Percival couldn't wait. She swung her sword at the unknowing demon's neck. With one slash, it flew off, into the air, with the body standing still. Sonic then shot the flying head with the arrow, sending it flying back into the void. Satisfied, Sonic nodded to Percival. Percival slapped the still-standing headless body with the flat side of her sword, which slowly fell back into the void.
Percival then looked at the poor yellow cat girl, holding onto a rock at the edge of the void. "Scum. Worthless cultist scum. What makes you think you'll win when demons enter play?"
Rachel was on the verge of wailing, and Percival could tell. Percival would not give her a lick of mercy, however.
"Rot in hell, you satanist slut."
With that, the knight stomped on the cat's fingers with the heel of her boot, twisting it to grind her hand into the obsidian rock she was holding onto. After she could tell that she had ground the rock through the cat's hand, Percival raised her foot, and Rachel flew into the portal.
Percival, seeing that her job was done being anywhere near the gate to hell, proceeded to dash away from the void, and over to Sonic. Sonic, still mildly confused as to what just happened, just began walking over to the gliders.
-When you don't know how to react, don't.-