With this chapter, my fic joins the 60k words club. If I did the math right, that's more than 98% of the rest of the Sonic fanfics on this site. LIKE A BOSS.

In other news, my LIKE A BOSS-ness has been revoked since I only recently realized I made a duplicate chapter. After I stopped herping and derping, I fixed my errors, and I realize that THIS MANY CHAPTERS IS ANNOYING to manage and update, and the fact that I wrote the whole thing in one single Open Office file is not helping at all. In future stories: NO DOZENS OF SHORT CHAPTERS. JUST ONE DOZEN LONG CHAPTERS SHOULD DO IT.

Thank you for your time with this message. Now time to paint the wall a bit more red. WITH MY FOREHEAD.

CHAPTER 23: RUN TO THE HILLS

Sonic awoke, but didn't move a muscle. He felt like sleeping in, thinking about how fun that dream was. -Because it was, go back and read it again if you want.- But alas, he had things to do and places to go. -Oh, and women to beat.-

Feeling like a hundred bucks, Sonic walked proudly out into the street followed by his knights. They looked around. The streets were littered with people suffering massive headaches, and some people were lying on the ground. -Reminds me of a flood that happened in London in 1814. This beer vat burst open, and a million and a half liters of beer flowed out into the streets, killing more than a dozen people. I wonder if they died of intoxication rather than actually drowning.- He noticed a green armored bird walking up to him.

"Oi, blue headed rat, thick headed pussy, mister chucklefuck, where the Christ were you guys?" Lamorak cursed, agitated, as he stumbled over to them. -Why does Jet have tourettes in this story? Not complaining though.-

"I don't chuckle." Gawain groaned, rubbing his head. -You know, first I met Billy Mays, now I find out that Lamorak is the equivalent to a useful Tourettes Guy. Awesome.-

"Where were you?" Percival asked while walking over. "Oh, I remember, you were running around town dead drunk. And I remember a bat woman..."

"Nope." Lamorak shot down Percival's implication quickly.

"Yeah, she had a fan like yours." Sonic commented.

"What the fuck are you on about?" Lamorak mumbled as he rubbed his head again.

"I'm sorry, but were you always this curse spouting ruffian?" Caliburn asked.

Lamorak startled, and shook his head rapidly, shaking himself awake. "Oh, you're not the first to say that. If you want me to tone down on it, alright. I tend to lose my manners when fighting, and celebrating, and things like that."

"Oh, so you were drunk when we first met?" Percival asked.

"Probably."

Sonic looked around, back between Percival and Lamorak. "Umm... I don't get it?"

Percival chuckled. "Oh, just imagine what the most sexist person would say to a curious young girl who wants to leave a peasant's life." -Oh SHIT HAHAHAHA...-

"Again, sorry." Lamorak apologized. "I don't think when I drink, but that's the fun part."

"Hahaha, whatever!" Sonic laughed, and shook the cartoonish scene of Lamorak with a huge head screaming every insult that came to mind at a random civilian from his head. -"YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER, AND YOUR FATHER WREAKS OF ELDERBERRIES."- "Look... haha... I have that mage girl, Merlina, to deal with. I don't trust her. At all. Plus, she's the one that pulled me by my tail into this mess."

"So you're going to attack her? After all you've done?" Caliburn protested.

"No, no. Just going to tell her my side of the story, rub it in her face, and high tail it."

"I see..." Gawain said. "But it's just a mage girl. She seemed pretty nice, what harm could she do with it?" -Oh, if you knew.-

"It's not a matter of what she could do with it," The man with the plan began. "I struck a blood pact with the Lady of the Lake; I leave with the Scabbard, never to return with it."

"Why?" Percival questioned. She obviously had something wrong with it. Sonic figured, what with her stoic Templar knight ways, it was probably the blood pact part.

"Because, this isn't the first time I'm playing the hero. I've been saving hides for a while now, and even though you all look like the hides I've been saving, I want some reward from all this. The Scabbard should make at home jobs easier."

"But..." She stammered, but threw hands at her face. "Gah..."

"Deal with it." Sonic plainly stated, flicking his transparent jet black helmet visor down as if they were sunglasses. "Let's go pay Merlina a visit. Remember; be ready for anything, but don't look all rough and tough and stuff."

The knights nodded in unison. "Alright." Except for one person. "AFFIRMITIVE."

-You know, I wonder what the group of mercenaries are doing right now...-

The small plant stood tall, thin, and it was a bit heavy. It was not a straight, it was side winding, curving sideways and at the very end of the plant, it was going back up, slightly. The thick, wood-like layers of the plant, designed to hold the water inside it for later use, was covered with pricks. Normally, you'd find it in the desert, but here, in Hell, it grows just fine if you put it in sand and water it.

Rachel loomed over the cactus.

She looked back at Fang "Do I haff t-"

"Do it, or it's back to nailball fighting with you."

The cat girl looked back at the cactus. A moment passed, and she sighed.

-... That's something I will ponder another day.-

The group of heroes traveled on the dirt road, around them thick forests, leading to the castle of Camelot. Caliburn was trailing behind the group, hopping on his tip.

-If I run into Slenderman in this forest, I swear, I'll-wait a minute. Can I make myself a king earlier?-

Tempted by this realization, Sonic spoke out. "So, the king is dead, and I don't think there's a prince or queen: what now?"

"Well, who am I?" Caliburn asked proudly. "I'm the sacred sword Caliburn, I choose who is worthy of the crown!"

After a brief moment of silence, Sonic put on a shocked face and pointed toward himself. "Me?"

The knights were, unlike Sonic, legitimately shocked and could not believe it.

"What?" Percival gasped.

"INCONCEIVABLE!" Galehaut noted. -Oh god I wish I had said my name was Inigo Montoya SO MUCH now!-

"I JUST GOT HERE!" Sonic shouted, much more believable than his first shout. "Three days ago, I fall from the sky, and I am the king of this place."

"Good lord," Lamorak cursed in amazement. "Lucky."

"Welp, congratulations," Bors applauded, sticking out his hand to shake the new king's. Sonic accepted it. "You did a lot to get where you are, I'm sure."

Taking his hand back from Bors, Sonic was on the verge of complaining. "But I barely put effort into it. Sure, I got slashed at, but the Lady of the Lake fixed that for me."

"That's good, that's good." Bors complimented.

Galahad was stuttering a mile a minute."W-w-wh-... bu-b-bu... How?"

"I feel the same." Sonic assured Galahad. "Don't know how it works, but I ain't complainin'!" Sonic then went ahead and began hopping around in excitement -because one, I need to lie good, and two, I never really got to use my king powers.- to celebrate.

After the king's short period of prancing around in celebration, Sonic ran back over to the knights. "Alright, since you all followed my orders even before I was a king, listen up. I don't know about you guys, but I'm getting out of here. I have a life to waste. All in favor of leaving with me, say 'aye'."

No response.

Sonic felt annoyed. "What? No one wishes to become as incredible as I am, falling into nations and taking them over in days? Except using my abilities for good, of course."

Percival frowned. "You're leaving with the Scabbard. Isn't that enough?"

"Arthur went insane with it. I don't want to go insane and destroy the world or something, I haven't finished looking at it yet." Sonic stated.

Percival was frustrated with Sonic. "Ugh, you can be such an arse to everyone, and how do you not mind? How does your conscious just le-"

"Indentured servant, shut the fuck up." -Plus twenty asshole points.-

The gates to Camelot Castle opened, and in came the seven knights. Merlina was in the courtyard, gazing at the flowers. As they approached her, Sonic took the Scabbard from his back, and proceeded to go up to Merlina.

"Merlina," Sonic greeted with a nice tone. -Gentlemen.-

"Sonic, at last." Merlina said. "You've defeated the king?"

Sonic nodded. "Yes, but when I killed him, I could have swore he turned into a puff of smoke."

Sonic had rose a few eyebrows, and thought more was needed.

"A purple puff of smoke." Sonic said, raising an eyebrow at Merlina. "Like those knights of the underworld."

Merlina looked down and smirked. "There was never any King Arthur."

"Well, you're wrong." Sonic chuckled, as did his fellow knights.

Merlina's smirk slowly vanished, replaced with a confused look. "What do you mean?"

"I am the new king!" Sonic shouted triumphantly. "Caliburn chose me!"

The mage girl let out an "oh" in realization, and slight relief. "Well done, and thank you, Sonic." As she finished, Merlina began walking toward him.

Sonic swung the Scabbard on his back. "I forgot to tell you."

Merlina stopped in her tracks, within arm's distance Sonic. "What is it?"

Sonic withdrew Caliburn. "Nimue says I'm leaving with this or it's off to Hell for me, so..."

Realizing their cue, the knights withdrew their signature weapons.

"You will be sending me home. One way or anoth-"

A loud groan cut him off. The groan seemed to be a flat tone. Just before Sonic was about look back at Galehaut, the groan was replaced with a maniacal laugh. Sonic looked around to its source, to see the that there had been a fly on the wall of their conversation.

-Almost literally.- On the wall, was a knight, fully armored from head to toe, with a sword with two blades extending from both ends of the hilt. The armor was black, and hardly reflected light. On the edges of each plate, there was gold lining that seemed to glow in the dark. -...Neon?- His body glowed with a purple aura, probably meaning whoever it was under the armor had recently fell under control of the underworld.

Sonic stepped at the knight. "Who are you?"

"And why do you keep making noise?" Lamorak asked impatiently. His tolerance was as thin as his signature weapon, his bladed fans made of feathers.

With a loud plop, the new black knight hopped off the wall, flicking off suction cups. It landed in front of Galehaut. Galehaut stared into his eyes, and the darkness stared back.

"WHO ARE THEE, SIR KNIGHT?" Galehaut asked politely, while twirling his two-handed sword.

The dark knight made sounds in response. The sounds did not make words.

"Neigh-oh ene-od he-or fri-me..." It said.

"Who the fuck are you? Cthulhu?" Sonic shouted at the seemingly unintellectual knight.

Without warning, Merlina seized the Scabbard on Sonic's back. Sonic turned to fight over it, and he was not happy in the slightest. "HEY! GIVE THAT BACK!"

"With the Scabbard, I will be able to undo my grandfather's greatest mistake..." Merlina said softly.

Sonic rose Caliburn above his head. He was enraged.

"AND THAT'S FUCKING YOUR GRANDMOTHER, NOW GIVE IT BACK!"

"He-tch ou-mes!" The unknown knight cried out as it jumped to the side of Galehaut and dashed straight through the ranks of the knights and at Sonic. Caliburn said a warning about him before the mysterious knight smashed into Sonic's back, knocking him to the ground, and causing Sonic to fumble Caliburn.

"I shall make this realm... eternal..."

"GET OFFA ME!" Sonic said, kicking the knight in the face. Sonic rolled on his side away from the unknown knight, and dashed for Caliburn. "GET HIM! I'll deal with Merlina!"

As soon as Sonic finished speaking, they all were running at the strange knight, and Sonic was charging with Caliburn over his head at the mage girl, who was raising the Scabbard above her head, ready to pierce the ground.

"NOPE!" Sonic cried out as he jumped at Merlina, swinging Caliburn down at her.

But it was too late. Merlina pierced the ground, seemingly causing red lightning to strike the ground behind her. The force from the explosion it let off blew Sonic back, and caused a pulse of energy to push the knights away from the mysterious knight.

As the knights picked themselves up, they looked to see the mysterious knight walk up to Merlina.

He put his hand on Merlina's shoulder. "Le-'m sor-o! Gu-ow!"

A ball of red energy that shot lightning out had surrounded them, and began to lift the two into the sky.

"Aw SHIT!" Lamorak cursed.

"LEG IT!" Sonic ordered, immediately doing so. Without any sort of denial, his comrades followed him.

"SHIT JUST GOT REAL!" Sonic exclaimed as he ran around the castle, which was being deconstructed and tossed into the air as he spoke. He began to run faster, forming a blue aura around him as he ran, and in seconds was outside the castle walls, leaving his slacking knights behind.

Gawain was saying his prayers as he ran. "-"

Lamorak snatched the rosary beads from Gawain's hand "YOU CAN COUNT YOUR HAIR BEADS LATER, WOMAN, JUST RUN AND NOTHING BUT RUN!"

"Where did Sonic go?" Percival asked, somewhat worried. She knew she was the person closest to Sonic's lead, but she couldn't see him. As she dashed out the gates, Percival saw Sonic dashing halfway down the trail at full speed, crying "RUUUN TOO THE HIILLLLS!"

As they ran, the castle had outright exploded, the sky turned red, clouds overcast the sunny sky, and thunder roared. They all dashed into the tunnel, following the trail of Sonic's dust. Percival stopped just outside of it to look as the ball of energy that contained the masked knight and Merlina ascended into the sky and opened a portal to the underworld like a hurricane. She was tugged inside the tunnel as Galahad sprinted by her and snatched her arm.

The band of warriors exited the tunnel a safe distance away from where the castle was. -The tunnel was much easier now that I'm followed by six people.- Sonic looked at the large floating islands which he was just on, and saw a giant jester hat-like structure. Slowly, pieces of the castle were being placed on top of each other, building an entirely new castle. -I wish I had house building skills like that.-

"Welp," Lamorak sighed. "We are lookin' pretty done for."

"It keeps spreading..." Percival worried.

"IT WILL BE OVER TO WHERE WE ARE STANDING IN APPROXIMATELY TWO HOURS." Galehaut announced.

"And what next? A Colorless Deep Fog swoops in and demons spawn in there, too?" Sonic complained.

"Knights of the Round Table," Gawain began. "Are we going to simply sit and watch our kingdoms ruin?"

Percival sighed. "Gawain... There's bou-"

Sonic interrupted her. "You're going to give up? Like that?"

"... No." Percival answered. "I was about to say, there's bound to be a way. But, now, I don't think seven of us can handle this situation..."

"... Well, aren't you saying that now...?" Caliburn pointed out.

"It's not like I have a choice on whether or not I fight. I am saying, Sonic, this is almost hopeless!"

"Almost. But you're right." Sonic admitted. "I don't know what the hell that new black knight is bringing to the table, but I know for sure, seven of us may not be able to handle this."

There was a short silence. Galahad was about to say something, when Sonic spoke first.

"Which is why we're going to have a quick recruitment rally in the city." Sonic said, a cunning smile on his face. "Percival, we're both well liked there, so we will be gathering an army to raid the castle with. When we strike, we are not going to waste our time. We are going straight into the heart of this mess."

"Wait!"

All the knights turned to the speaker. Before them, standing within an illuminating circle, was Nimue. She was transparent, meaning she was not actually there with them.

"Before you go raiding with that plan, there's still time to stop this catastrophe from spreading further if you act now!" She said.

The lady of the lake stepped aside, and waved her hand over the circle of light she appeared in. A map showed, and on it, four points had lit up on the map in a square shape around the castle.

"Use the sacred swords, put them in these positions, and it will stop the darkness from spreading!" Nimue explained.

There was a moment of silence. -... WAIT A MINUTE! There's only three shrines, and the map was changed. The hell? How did that... what did I do to remove a shrine from existence? Is it because the book wants me to pay for my assholery and it takes out a moderately difficult thing to replace it with something else? Maybe the new black knight balances out the lack of a fourth shrine? Ah, he doesn't look too tough. I'll roll with it.-

"You heard the lady," Sonic said, snatching Percival's sword. "Like I said, you're coming with me, Percival. Who wants this, ah- here," Sonic stammered as he held the sword by the blunt side of the blade to Galahad, "Take this, Galahad, put it in that spot there, in the Molten Mines."

"Alright!" Galahad accepted the orders proudly. "I will keep it clean for you, Percival!"

Sonic nodded in understanding, and he turned to the rest of the knights. "Oh, and groups of twos. Bors, go with Galahad to the Molten Mines, Galehaut you're with Gawain in the plains, and Lamorak-"

There were seven knights, including himself. Lamorak was the odd one out.

"Well, guess you're on your own, Lamorak. Going through the woods." Sonic said. He tossed Lancelot's sword to Lamorak, who caught it with delight.

"Oh, gladly!" Lamorak replied, swinging the large sword at nothing.

"Everyone know what they're doing?" Sonic said aloud to make sure everyone did. They all nodded. "Well get going!"

With that, the two groups of two and Lamorak went off to their respective locations. Sonic was just about to leave when Nimue called to him.

"Sonic! Before you go!" Nimue grabbed Sonic's attention just as he turned his back. Sonic turned around, with a smile on his face.

"Yes Nimue?"

"Why did you set the forest on fire?"

Sonic was stunned. He could not come up with an appropriate response for it.

"Wait, you what?" Percival asked.

Nimue sighed, and looked to Percival to answer her question. "Last night, you lit up a napkin that was stuffed into a bottle of alocohol and Sonic threw it. Not many people know that alcohol is flammable..." As she was finishing up that sentence, she glared at Sonic.

"I am sorry, I did it for shits and giggles."

"And now Lamorak has to go through the fire." -AND THE FLAMES HE CARRIES OON!-

"... Hope he makes it."

"... That's it? All you have to say is 'hope he makes it'?"

"Not much else to say. He's going alone while everyone else went in groups of two. It's going to stay like that, unless you want to help."

"No, no. I have preparations to finish."

As she finished, Nimue curtsied and bowed her head. "I will be seeing you soon." And, with that, she fizzled into thin air, and the glowing ground she stood on changed back to its normal state.

Percival glared at Sonic, who was sporting a face with no one expression on it, but you could see in his eyes that he was tense, and probably regretting his decision. -Whatever I do, don't coolface.-

"Anyway let's go." Sonic hurriedly said as he turned around and began running toward the city, with Percival trailing behind.