Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, I just borrowed the name of the characters for entertaining, no intention to violate any copyrights.
A/N : Let's hope this is going to happen in S13.
All mistakes are mine, sorry about that.
Arizona jerked awake from her slumber. The Ambien she took after the plane took off should be able to help her getting through the 6 hours flight, but the dream of being in the middle of an earthquake pulled her out of the not so peaceful dreamland loathly.
Feeling a bit groggy from the sleep, she took off her eye mask and about to ask for a glass of water, then she felt it.
The plane started shaking uncontrollably and she could dimly hear people were screaming in the coach cabin behind her.
"What's going on?" Arizona grasped the wrist of the stewardess who just passed by her. Her face went deathly pale and eyes widened with fear. The stewardess quickly plastered on a force smile to ensure her first-class passenger.
"Don't worry, Dr. Robbins. The flight has entered between cumulonimbus clouds and the pilot is going to navigate us out of it..." She got cut off when the plane shuddered and trembled again, even stronger than the last one. She braced herself against the side of the seat in front of Arizona and let out a small scream. The blonde stared at the woman with fearful bulge eyes.
"Crew members get to their seats." A short and urgent announcement from the pilot came through the speaker. The stewardess took off before trying to ensure the obviously terrified passenger once again.
"We'll be fine, not to worry, Dr. Robbins. Just... keep your seatbelt fastened."
"Oh god, oh god, oh god..." The distressed blonde mumbled between ragged breaths. Her rapidly beating heart was about to jump out of her chest. All she could do was white knuckling the arm rests and prayed. "This is not happening."
"Stop it, Sof." Callie put a hand on Sofia's shoulder stopping her from jumping up and down. The little girl had been super hyper ever since she woke up in the morning, remembering that her mommy was coming to visit today.
"But I can't see mommy." Sofia whined, craning her neck trying to look through the crowd.
"Because she's not here yet." The brunette looked down at her mini-me with a sweet smile. Sofia definitely inherited her impatience. "You are standing in the front. Mommy can see you when she stepped out..."
Callie stopped talking because her daughter already ran toward the exit of the gate the moment the familiar blonde head appeared.
"Mommy!" The little brunette shouted from the top of her lungs before giving her mommy a bone-crushing hug around the hips. The force made the blonde took a step backward and her face flinched with pain, but it got replaced by a broad grin in a split second.
"Oh I miss you so much, little miss." Arizona caressed the chubby face tenderly. She had to blink a couple times to stop the tears rolling down her own cheeks. She wasn't sure those were happy tears of seeing Sofia or tears of relief that she made it. But it didn't matter. She was holding her baby right now.
"Okay, we're blocking other people." Callie walked up to them with a match smile. She took hold of Arizona's luggage and gestured the mother and daughter to move. "You two are going to have time to catch up, but first we need to get out of here."
Sofia happily led her mommy toward the exit with an extra bounce on her feet. Her mouth moved a mile a minute, busy filling her mommy in about her days. And Arizona listened with a big smile. Occasionally giving reaction liked gasping, or raising her eyebrows.
Callie couldn't help to chuckle watching the two interacted from behind. Arizona always had a way to make the chirpy girl getting even chirpier. And she was glad that her ex-wife could come to visit. Four months in New York, it seemed the excitement of moving to the new city had worn off. Sofia had become moody and unusually quiet sometimes. Saying Callie was worried was an understatement.
Deep in her thought, the brunette didn't even realize that her gaze was fixated on Arizona's steps. She had watched Arizona's walks for years. Without a doubt, the blonde was limping. Shifted her eyes to her ex-wife face, she could see Arizona was paler than usual, and even though she was trying very hard to spread her lips to a wide smile, that didn't really reach the blue eyes.
They stopped by Callie's car. Sofia got in first, buckling herself in the booster seat and her mothers moved to the back putting the luggage in the trunk.
"Arizona, are you alright?" Never the one to hold her tongue, Callie asked with concern.
"Yeah, I'm fine." The blonde forged a happy laugh, but she knew she couldn't hide this from her ex-wife. Not to mention this ex-wife was an orthopedic surgeon.
"No, you're not." The brunette shook her head instantly. "You're limping. Your leg hurts?"
"I..." Arizona wetted her lips. Moved closer to Callie, making sure her back was to the little girl in the car. "The flight went into a severe turbulence and I... uh... I had a panic attack."
"And now you have phantom limb pain?" Callie swallowed deeply. "Did you take something for the flight? Valium? Xanax?"
"Ambien." The blonde shrugged a shoulder with a twist of her lips. "I thought that would be enough. Anyway, I will be fine."
Callie closed the door for the blonde before she let out a heavy sigh. She should have known better. Arizona did get on a plane after the plane crash once, but that was a less than an hour flight and her mind was busy processing Alex's departure. 6 hours was a long ride and of course it could trigger the plane crash survivor.
Getting on the driver's seat, the brunette was just in time to hear her daughter saying.
"I like Bronx zoo better but mama said we don't have a lot of time. She thinks we should go to the Central Park Zoo. And I think it's a good idea too." Sofia was going through the plans with the mother sitting next to her animatedly. "The zoo is smaller, but Central Park is awesome. We can go..."
"Sof, maybe we should go to the hotel first. It was a long flight and Mommy needs to rest..." Callie chipped in. She knew how bad the phantom limb pain could be. Walking around wouldn't do the blonde anything good. But Arizona waved off the suggestion.
"No, it's fine. I would love to go to Central Park now." Arizona winked at her little girl, and Sofia gave her a happy toothy smile in return.
"Arizona..." The brunette slumped her shoulders, locking her brown eyes with the blue one in the rearview mirror.
"Callie, I have only 2 days in here with Sofia." The blonde leaned forward from the backseat, whispering to Callie. "I do not want to waste the time lying on the hotel bed, okay?"
Callie turned her head wanting to protest, but the determination on Arizona's face told her that that was out of discussion. Nodding her head reluctantly, she started the car.
"The little one in here," Callie glanced at her daughter with a fake annoyance. "Never touches her vegetable when you're not around."
"Mama, you promised not to tell." Sofia exclaimed in mid chewing the broccoli. She hated vegetable, liked every other kids. But she would eat that yucky greenish stuff for her mommy because mommy always reminded her how important it was to have a balance diet. And of course, there was a reward after she finished her plate.
They had a full day of fun in Central Park. To Sofia, it was a blast. Not only she got to spend a day with both her mothers, they stopped a couple times for ice-cream and milkshake when they passed by cafes. Callie said those were for Sofia's benefit, the truth was that she tried to let Arizona rest her leg. The blonde thanked her with a knowing smile every time.
After spending a good hour in the playground, the mothers knew the energy of their little girl had drained away, it was time for dinner. They arrived in Sofia's favorite restaurant. Her favorite was because this restaurant had a variety of desserts, Sofia loved it, and she told her mama that mommy would love it too.
"Oh my god. Sof, you are right." Arizona scanned the dessert menu after the waitress took away their empty plates. Her mouth watered just looking at the choices. "So many choices and I don't know which one to pick."
"You can have the apple pie, mommy. And mama likes the lava cake..." Sofia said matter-of-factly. "And I'll have the double chocolate fudge cake. We can share."
"They all come with ice-cream. By share, you mean you're going to eat our ice-cream?" The blonde mother teased the giggling girl. Arizona loved desserts as much as her daughter, but she always let her daughter had her ice-cream. And Sofia knew that.
Callie rolled her eyes but said nothing. The common fondness for sweet between Arizona and Sofia was nauseating sometimes. How those small bodies could absorb that much amount of sugar but not feeling sick was a mystery to her. But it was Sofia and Arizona's day. If excessive in take of ice-cream made them happy, so be it.
"I'm going to the bathroom." Sofia jumped out of the chair after Arizona placed the order. Callie called after her.
"Do you want me to go with you?"
"I am six, mama." The little girl answered over her shoulder and continued her way to the bathroom. Both mothers sighed synchronously.
"She's growing up too fast." The brunette mother watched their daughter walked away, and the blonde mother agreed with a chuckle.
"Tell me about it."
"Hey, I am sorry about the flight. I... I shouldn't ask you to come." Callie brought her eyes back to the woman sitting before her, saying sincerely. "But Sofia was kinda... withdrawn lately. I was worried."
"Don't hesitate to call me whenever anything happens to Sofia. She's our daughter. I'll take as many flights as necessary when she needs me." Arizona shrugged a shoulder casually. "I'll just take a heavier dose of sleeping pills next time."
"She's so happy to see you. She reminded me twice to pack her favorite pajamas, you know, the blue cookie monster you bought her." A small smile across the caramel face when she recalled their daughter's antic while packing the overnight bag. If she let Sofia do it herself, she'd probably pack her whole room with her.
"About that..." The blonde took a sip of her water, avoiding the brown eyes that were looking at her. "Callie, I think you should take her home tonight."
"What? Why? She is so excited about the sleepover with you." The smile replaced by a frown quickly. "Is your leg still hurt so bad? Maybe we should go to the hospital so that I can take a look..."
"No, my leg is fine." Arizona shook her head. "Just... I'm afraid that I'm going to have nightmares tonight. I don't want her waking up in the middle of the night from me screaming in my sleep."
"But..." Callie took a deep breath. She knew her ex-wife still had nightmares from time to time. It was written all over her face the next mornings. When Arizona had Sofia in her house, they had separated rooms so the girl wouldn't know her mother woke up in cold sweats. But if they stayed in the same room, in the same bed, there was no way the blonde could hide it from their daughter. "Sofia is really looking forward to it. She has plans. She even has decided what she wants for breakfast."
"Don't you think I'd love to have her for the night? I don't want to scare her, Callie." Arizona sighed with sadness in her eyes. She was looking forward to it too. "I will wake up really early tomorrow morning to pick her up from your apartment. Or if you don't mind, can you send her to the hotel in the morning? Any time you want, we can still have breakfast in the hotel."
Callie stared at the blonde considering the option. Before she made up her mind, the waitress came with their desserts, and an ecstatic Sofia skipping back to their table. Their conversation had to wait then.
"So, baby girl." Arizona asked as she scooped the ice-cream from her apple pie onto Sofia's plate. "Tell me something about your new school?"
"It is okay." Sofia answered airily. Her focus was on the extra ice-cream.
"Just okay? You love school, don't you?" The blonde asked again with hyperbole. "How about your classmates?"
"They are okay." Once again, a careless response came from the little girl. Maybe Callie was right.
"Hmm... Have you made any friends? Who is your new best friend?" Arizona put a bite of apple pie in her mouth, trying to act as causal as possible. She didn't want to spook their daughter, but she and Callie were watching the little girl intensely.
"I don't have new best friend..." Not looking at her mother, Sofia shrugged a shoulder, just like her mommy used to do.
"What? You do, Sof." Callie couldn't help to cut in. "What's the name of that girl who has... that pink backpack and the French braid? You talked about her last week. She shared her potato chips with you?"
"Lisa, but she is not my best friend." Sofia reached her spoon across the table, taking a spoonful of lava cake from her brunette mama's plate. Callie just looked at her and asked.
"Why?"
"She is best friend with Jenna. And Jenna said she can only have one best friend, so..." The little girl shrugged a shoulder again. "Lisa doesn't want to be my friend."
"This is silly. Everyone can have more than one best friend." Arizona rested her chin in her palm, willing her daughter to look at her. And she did.
"No, it's fine. I have a best friend. Zola is my best friend." Sofia twisted her lips.
"But you can have more than one friend, you know? Like auntie Teddy is my best friend, but she's not living near to me. And I am friends with auntie April, auntie Amelia..." The blonde wiped off the ice-cream on her daughter's cheek with her thumb tenderly. "I know it's scary to make new friends, but think about how much fun you're going to have with them?"
"They already had friends." Sofia stabbed her ice-cream with annoyance. She didn't want to talk about it but mommy just kept asking her. "They know each other. I am the new girl that they don't want to play with."
Arizona locked eyes with Callie, who seemed as surprise as her.
"Sof, why didn't you tell me?" Callie's body stiffened at the words. She thought it would be easy for Sofia to make new friends in new place. But apparently she was wrong. Arizona quickly gave her a signal to stay quiet.
"Do you remember, I told you that I had to move home every year and a half because of grandpa Daniel's job?" Sofia nodded her head. "I know how difficult it is to make new friends. I was shy and I didn't have this big, beautiful smile like yours. But eventually, I made a few friends in the new homes. You just have to be patient, and having more interactions with your classmates."
"And you had best friend in every place?" The little girl was intrigued.
"Well, uncle Tim was my best friend..." Arizona bit the corner of her lips. It wasn't a good example, she realized it now. She didn't have to go through that alone. She had her brother by her side. "But still, I made friends."
"I wish I have a brother to be my best friend. Like Zola has Bailey." Sofia sighed before putting another spoonful of cake in her mouth.
"I know, baby." Arizona stroked her daughter's long dark hair with love, trying hard not to glance at the woman on the other side of the table.
After the plates were clear, it was time to call it the night. But before they asked for the bill, Callie excused herself to the bathroom, and she said quietly to Arizona, telling the blonde not to say anything to their daughter before she returned.
And when she got back to the table, there was a smile on her face.
"So baby girl, are you ready to have the sleepover in mommy's hotel?" Callie looked at their little girl, and she could see Arizona's frown from the corner of her eyes.
"Yeah!" Sofia threw her little fists in the air. She was more than ready.
"Sofia, about that..." Arizona hated to break this to her darling girl. She had talked about this with Callie and how could the brunette just threw her under the bus? "A little changes of plans..."
"Yes, a little changes of plans." The brunette added quickly. "Mama is coming with you."
"What?" The mother and daughter exclaimed at the same time, with whole different reasons.
"You hear me." Callie smiled to the both of them. "But first I'm going to send you two to the hotel, then I'll go home to pack my overnight bag."
By the time Callie arrived in the hotel, Arizona and Sofia already took showers, changed into their pajamas. And Sofia was nestling in the middle of the double king-sized bed cozily.
"Mama!" Sofia exclaimed from the bed when she saw her brunette mother. "Mommy let me chose the movie. We are watching Finding Nemo."
"Again?" Callie glanced at the blonde who opened the door for her and made a face. They had watched Finding Nemo hundred times, and Sofia still hadn't got sick of it yet.
"She chose it." Arizona held up her hands, Callie just shook her head as she walked toward the bathroom.
"Admit it, you like the movie too."
"Well... yeah." The blonde followed to the bathroom. She leaned against the door frame and watching Callie pulled out some sleeping clothes from her bag. "Hey Callie, thank you for doing this."
"I made you took the flight to here, this is the least I can do for you." The brunette gave her ex-wife a heartfelt smile. She would feel terrible if she let Arizona stayed in the hotel alone tonight.
"Have you... have you talked to Penny about this? I mean..." Arizona chewed her lips nervously. Even though there was Sofia in the room with them, but still, not a lot of women would be okay to have their girlfriends spending the night with the exes in a hotel.
"Yes, I called her. She is staying in the lab tonight anyway." Callie said nonchalantly. And then she gestured the clothes in her hands.
"Oh right, the bathroom is all yours." Arizona took a step back and closed the door.
Callie got out of the bathroom after a few minutes, and the view on the bed took her breath away.
Sofia was snuggling up against Arizona's side, the blonde had her arm wrapped around the small body tightly. They both had a big grin on their faces as they mimicking the dialogues on the screen.
She had seen this before. Just... Sofia was much younger, and they were at home. The home they shared together, before the divorce.
"Mama," Sofia's voice snapped Callie out of her thought. "Marlin and Dory are about to jump on the jellyfishes."
"Yeah? I love that scene." The brunette walked around the bed toward the couch, but her track stopped to a halt when Sofia opened her mouth again.
"Mama, come here, join us." The little girl patted the empty spot on the other side of the bed.
"The bed is big enough for the three of us." Arizona could see the hesitation on the caramel face. "You can't sleep on that couch, Callie."
Callie looked between the bed and the couch. Arizona was right. The couch was small, and the bed looked big, and comfortable. Took another look on the grin on their daughter's face, she made up her mind.
As soon as she settled on the bed, Sofia shifted to the middle and looped her arms around her mothers on both sides. The women turned to look at their daughter, who was wearing a contented smile on her little face. A day with both mothers, visiting Central Park together, all the ice-cream, and now, in bed with both of them watching Finding Nemo, Sofia couldn't be happier.
Arizona and Callie locked eyes over their daughter's head. The blonde felt a rush of emotions in her heart as she looked deep into the soulful brown eyes. She knew what Callie was thinking because she was thinking the same. It was like a lifetime ago that they stayed together like a family. An evening snuggled in bed watching movies with their daughter was their favorite pastime.
She opened her mouth a couple times trying to say something. Before she gathered the words, the moment was interrupted by Sofia's laugh.
"Look! Look! They are jumping!"
Arizona tugged her lips to a bitter smile, kissing their daughter's head tenderly, and then tried to keep her focus on the big screen.
It wasn't a surprise for both mothers that their daughter couldn't last till the end of the movie. The little girl was overexcited today. She couldn't even keep her eyes opened before the bad girl arrived in the clinic.
"She's out." Callie whispered while stroking their daughter's hair. Sofia's head was on Arizona's shoulder, and a hand was laying limply on her other mother's arm.
The blonde reached to the nightstand and handed the remote to Callie.
"We don't have to finish the cartoon if you want to watch something else." It was an old habit they had. As soon as their daughter fell asleep, Callie would change the channel right away. Animation was never her thing.
"No, it's okay." Callie shook her head, but taking the remote anyway. "It was a long day and you must be tired. You should get some sleep."
They turned off the TV and lights, then settled in bed without another word. Minutes went by, the only sound in the room was Sofia's even breathing between the two women.
Callie kept her eyes shut, willing herself to fall asleep but she just couldn't shut off her mind. Normally she would toss and turn but she knew any movement she made would alert the blonde on the other side of the bed. So she tried to stay still. And that just made it even harder to fall asleep.
Slowly, she turned her head to the side. She could see the peaceful face of the blonde's under the dim moon light from the window. She couldn't remember when was the last time she really looked at her ex-wife... Actually she could. It was that night. The night before she walked out of the therapist office, ending their marriage.
"You know that I always knew you watching me sleep, right?" Arizona said softly before opened her eyes. A smile found the way to her face when she saw Callie looked away instantly. "You couldn't sleep?"
"Nope." The brunette cleared her throat, feeling embarrassing of being caught.
"Me neither." The blonde stretched her body in bed gently, trying not to stir the sleeping girl next to her.
"How is everyone?" After a pregnant silence, Callie turned to the blonde again. "How is the hospital?"
"I thought you keep in touch with Meredith and Owen?" Arizona looked back in surprise.
"Meredith is a busy mom with three kids. And she's never the kind of person that likes to talk on the phone, or text." Callie shrugged with a jerk of head. "And Owen is a guy's guy, you know?"
"He wouldn't say more than he needs to." Arizona chuckled lightly. "Everyone's fine. Bailey and Ben are back to their old selves, sweeter than ever. April and Jackson are still learning to balance their roles as new parents but I think they're about to get back together. Alex broke up with Jo briefly but they are on the mend, again. Oh, I think Maggie is having a hot for Riggs."
"Maggie and Riggs?" The brunette's eyes almost bulged out of her eye sockets. She propped her head on the elbow with a smirk.
"Ah-huh." Arizona nodded. "But Meredith seems a bit weird about that, probably because she doesn't trust Riggs."
"Man, I miss this." Callie wiggled her eyebrows with a bitter smile. "The gossips."
"How about you?" Arizona asked. "Have you formed a new village in here yet?"
Suddenly, the smile on the caramel face dropped. She raised her hand stroking Sofia's hair and said nothing.
"Callie?" Arizona turned to sleep on her side, staring at the brunette curiously.
"People in here... are more closed off." Seeing the concern in the blue eyes, Callie quickly put on a force smile. "I mean, they are not really talkative, strictly professional."
"Well, not everyone is as nosy as the folks in Grey Sloan." Arizona rolled her eyes, smirking about her co-workers at home.
"Nosy because they care." The brunette mumbled under her breath while flopping down on the bed. "So, has Bailey hired my replacement yet?"
"Not yet. Carlson is still the interim chief of Ortho. We have interviewed a couple of candidates but... Well, you have set the bar too high." The blonde said honestly. "None of them reach the level of talent that we used to have."
"Sorry about that." Another mumbling, but it was clear enough to be heard in the quiet room.
"Say that to Bailey." The blonde glanced over to the other side of the bed, saying lightly. "She had to turn down a few high profile surgeries because she doesn't trust Carlson. And I've heard that the Seahawks is thinking to switch their contracts to Seattle Pres."
"Oh, she must be pissed." Callie rubbed her face with both hands, a sigh slipping out between the fingers.
"You know Bailey. But she will be okay." It was Arizona's turned to prop on her elbow and staring at the woman. "Is everything okay? How is work?"
"It is fine..." The brunette trailed off in a whisper, not able to look back to the blue eyes.
"Callie?" Arizona raised her eyebrows and asked again. She could still read her ex-wife liked an open book. "Really, this is not really convincing."
"I... umm... a lot of hip replacements and mending broken femurs." The brunette kept staring at the ceiling.
"There are no complicated injuries in New York?" Not sure how to comment on this, the blonde tried to make it light. "People in here are that strong?"
"Not really. Just... the atmosphere is totally different in NYU. No one wants to take an extra step in order to save their asses." Callie pursed her lips to a thoughtful frown. A deep sigh left her mouth before a moment of silence. "On top of that, the bigoted department head doesn't want to give me anything meaty."
"This is crazy." Arizona was shocked. What kind of a moron wouldn't want to put the rock star, the genius with a scalpel Dr. Calliope Torres in the frontline? "You made a man a whole leg with titanium. You built cartilage from scratch. You started a groundbreaking robotic prosthetic limbs project..."
"I think he's afraid that I'd overshadow him. I'm nothing in here. I don't even get a lab. There's no budget for me in this financial year." Talking about the new job just made the brunette upset and couldn't stay still. Sitting up slowly, she ran her hands through her long hair. "I'll have to get the funding by myself and I don't even know if I'll get enough pulls in here."
"Just give it time. There's nothing you can't do, Callie. Nothing's easy in the beginning." Arizona gazed at the back of her ex-wife. Bailey was right. Demoting from department head to just an attending in a new place would be hard, especially in a male dominant specialty. "Remember how difficult it was to start Grey Sloan? You made it happened."
"Yeah. I just didn't imagine this could be this hard." Callie sniffed loudly, and that made the blonde concern. "And I just feel... I don't belong here."
"Callie?" The blonde was about to sit up to get closer to Callie, but as she moved, it stirred the little girl nuzzled up against her. Still sleeping soundly, Sofia turned and throwing her little arm across her mother's torso.
"Mommy I miss you." The sleeping girl murmured as she nestled her head on mommy's shoulder.
Arizona buried her face in her daughter's hair and holding her tight. She didn't have to lift her head to know Callie was staring at her.
"I fought you so hard in order to bring Sofia with me to New York, turned out... I make her life miserable, Arizona." Callie struggled to keep the tears at bay but to no avail. A lone tear rolled down her cheek as she breathed out. "She misses you. She misses her friends in Seattle. She is lonely and she doesn't even tell me. I am her mother."
"Callie..." Arizona reached out, gently stroking the brunette's arm with the back of her hand, hoping to offer some sort of comfort but it just made the woman more upset.
"Why didn't she tell me?" Callie turned back around, dropping her head in her hands and sobbing quietly. Maybe the judge was right. Maybe Arizona's lawyer was right. She shouldn't take their daughter away from her village.
"Sofia and I talked about this. Actually, I told her that you want to be happy." The blonde waited until she had the attention from the crying woman. Looking at the tearful eyes and she continued. "She asked me why you looked sad and I told her that you wanted to come to New York and be happy with Penny. And I told her that she has to be a good girl and come here with you..."
"God, what have I done?" Callie choked in her voice. The room went silent in a long while until the brunette chuckled lightly. "Arizona, you... you're... I... I should be the one taking care of her wellbeing. Not the other way around."
"She loves you." Arizona breathed out.
"And she loves you too." The brunette countered. "You won but you let her came with me. You sacrificed yourself and I let you down, Arizona. I made everyone unhappy."
"It just has been a few months. Things will get better..." Arizona tried her best to console the upsetting brunette, but she knew the woman wasn't really listening.
"No, it's getting worse." Callie shook her head and laughed out sarcastic. "Sofia is not happy. Penny... she's not ready to be a full time parent with a child in her life. She spends more and more time at work because having a 6 years old in her life is too much to handle. But it isn't a bad thing that she stays away. We fight a lot, because of little things."
"Callie..." The blonde swallowed hard. It wasn't her place to say anything about her ex-wife's relationship with her girlfriend.
"Not following you to Africa was one of the biggest regrets in my life." Callie directed a meaningful look at her ex-wife. "I wanted to make it work with Penny so I just... followed her."
"You were following your heart." Arizona said in a whisper. She didn't even know that she was referring the move to New York, or both.
"And my heart wasn't in the right place. I thought... I thought she's the one." The brunette's voice was getting smaller and smaller, her eyes never left the blue eyes. "I thought she is what I want. I wanted to believe she is what I want."
"What do you want?" The blonde couldn't help to ask.
"I..." Looked between Arizona and Sofia, Callie let out a long sigh and rolling her eyes to the ceiling. "I don't know."
"Mommy, when will you come again?" Sofia looked up to her mother hopefully. Her little arms wrapped around the blonde's wrist in a tight embrace.
Sofia and Callie spent another half day showing the visitor around the big apple, and now they were in the airport again. But their moods were totally different than the day before.
"I don't know yet, baby girl. But I promise you, I'll come seeing you as soon as I can, okay?" Arizona stroked her daughter's long black hair lovingly. She was trying her best to put on a bright smile but it hardly reached her eyes. Saying goodbye to her little girl was hard, and after the terrifying flight yesterday, she didn't know if she could survive the return flight ahead of her.
Callie who was standing a few feet away from the mother and daughter, giving them some alone time, could easily see through that smile.
Finally, she walked up to the duo sheepishly.
"Okay Sofia, it's time. Mommy has to go."
The little girl stepped back somewhat reluctantly. And Callie leaned forward giving her ex-wife a hug goodbye.
"I'm sorry." She whispered into Arizona's ear before pulling away. "Are you sure you are okay to fly?"
"I can't drive 42 hours back to Seattle." Arizona shrugged a shoulder, trying to act as nonchalant as she could.
"I'm sorry." Callie said it again. She truly was sorry. Reaching into her purse, she pulled out a small bag. "I've picked up something for you. Ambien didn't help last time, maybe you should try Xanax or Melatonin... but don't take them both the same time..."
"I know. I'm a doctor too." Accepting the bag, the blonde gave Callie a thankful smile. "Thank you."
"Don't mention it. This is the least I can do." The brunette returned with a bitter smile.
"Call me if you want to talk, okay? Anything." Arizona looked deep into the brown eyes. No matter how their relationship went, she cared about Callie and she needed the brunette to know that. "Thing is going to get better."
Not able to form a word, Callie just bit her lips and nodded.
After a last kiss on their daughter's forehead, Arizona strode toward the gate with heavy heart. Her steps were getting heavier each time she turned around seeing her little girl wiped the tears off her face.
"Sof..." Callie looked down to the little girl after the blonde disappeared into the sea of people. Her heart clenched seeing the sparkle in her identical brown eyes were gone. Stroking the chubby face tenderly, she said, "I am sorry."
"Dr. Robbins, you need to sign this." A nurse stopped the Fetal surgeon as she walked out of the patient's room.
Arizona leaned against the nurse station reading the chart with a long face. She wore this expression ever since she returned from New York almost 3 weeks ago. The people around her were not used to this gloomy Dr. Robbins but they knew the reason. And they were sympathetic.
And there was another reason that made the blonde doctor even more sullen today. She was supposed to facetime her daughter last night, but an unexpected labour from one of her patient stalled her time at work and she missed the call. She tried to call back Callie the whole morning but the phone was off.
If they were still living in the same city, Arizona would easily go over the brunette's home, or her work, or Sofia's school to check on them. But now, she could just staring at her phone and imagining the worst.
Maybe, just maybe, she should move to New York too. She was staring at the chart but none of the word got into her head. Not to stalk her ex-wife but to be closer to their daughter. It made sense, right? How could she be there for Sofia when she was 2400 miles away? What if, god forbid, anything happened to Callie... that must be the reason why the phone was off, right? Sofia must be terrifying. She had no friend in there. All she had was Penny, who wasn't ready to be a mother...
Throwing the pen on the nurse station, Arizona pulled out her phone from the pocket and about to dial Callie's number once again. She had decided if it still couldn't connect this time, she was going to call Penny. She had never called Penny but desperate times call for desperate measures.
"Robbins, Bailey is looking for you." Meredith walked down the hall toward the blonde. She was sent to the OB wing for searching for the absent doctor.
"Wait." Arizona held up a finger gesturing the head of General surgery to give her a moment. She frowned when the call was directed to the voicemail once again. "Callie isn't answering her phone. I need to call Penny."
"What? No, it's not necessary. I... I had Callie on the phone." The blue eyes of the taller blonde doctor went wide. Her hand hovered over Arizona's phone stopping her from making another call. "She said she's in meetings this morning."
"You had her on the phone? When?" Arizona squinted at her colleague. Didn't Callie say that Meredith wasn't big on chitchatting on the phone?
"Last night." Meredith replied quickly. "Come on, Bailey is waiting for an hour and she needs you in her office now."
"I know. She had paged me twice but one of my patients just had an episode. And I have a surgery in 30 minutes. I don't have time for her." The blonde stepped backward and shrugged a shoulder. Normally she would be more well-mannered toward her peers, but worrying about her ex-wife and daughter the whole morning just made her crankier than usual. "Tell her that she can't just move our meeting anytime she wants. We will have the budget meeting after tomorrow, like we have scheduled."
"No, it's not about the budget meeting..." The General surgeon tried again, but she was cut off by a wave of hand.
"Whatever, that has to wait. I need to get some coffee before my surgery."
"Just go to meet her, you stubborn woman!" Meredith blurt out in her mom voice that made everyone in the hallway staring at her. But she didn't care. She had a task and she needed to deliver. "Bailey has coffee in her office. You have to go to her office now and that is the chief's order! Don't make me drag you by your wrist!"
Arizona rolled her eyes. She didn't understand what all the fuzz was about but she knew Meredith wouldn't get off her back unless she went to Bailey. Snatching a tablet off the nurse station, she went off toward the elevator in a huff.
"Fine, I'm going now. You happy?" The blonde said over her shoulder. Meredith just shook her head.
"You'll thank me later." She mumbled under her breath as she quickly sent out a text message.
"Bailey, I don't have a lot of time. I have a surgery in 30 minutes and I have to recheck all the labs..." Arizona entered the chief's office after a knock. She didn't even wait to be called in and still buried her nose in the tablet. She really didn't have much time before she had to cut open a pregnant woman's belly.
"And I've heard that you need coffee."
A familiar voice came to the blonde's ears made her head snapping up. Her jaws almost dropped on the floor when she saw there was her ex-wife standing before her, holding a cup of coffee with a beaming smile.
"Cal... Callie...? What are you doing here?" Arizona stuttered out. She had never been more confused than now. "Is everything okay? Where is Sofia?"
"Sofia is at Meredith's house with Zola, Bailey and Ellis. Maggie is on a day off and she's babysitting the kids." Still smiling, Callie gestured the coffee cup in her hand and the blonde accepted it bewilderingly.
"What...? Why...? I mean, I just saw Meredith and she didn't..."
"Dr. Robbins, you don't have much time, do you?" Bailey raised her voice from behind her desk. As a friend, she wanted to give the two women some times to catch up. But right now at this moment, she was the chief and she needed to be professional. "I'm asking you to here because we have an emergency board meeting."
"Huh?" Arizona looked around. The only board members in the room were the three of them. What board meeting?
"Dr. Torres is here for the application of the head of Orthopedic surgery..."
"Reinstatement." Callie corrected the chief.
"Application. You left." Bailey threw her former employee a glare. "As I said, this is an emergency and we don't have time to get everyone together to discuss it. So, I've asked each one of the board members individually."
"Huh?" Apparently, the blonde was still trying to figure out what was going on.
"I don't think we have to question about Dr. Torres's credentials. And she can get any reference letter from any one in this hospital. We can skip those steps." The chief picked up a piece of paper from her desk and continued. "And here are the comments from the rest of the board members. Avery said great, so we can secure the contracts with the Seahawks. Webber said this is a good news and I couldn't be happier. Grey said don't waste my time for this, you know I am going to say yes. And I said it's about damn time."
"And Torres said bring her home." Callie looked at her ex-wife, but the blonde just stared back dumbfounded.
"Huh?"
"Arizona, it was an irrational decision to leave and I could see that now." The brunette wetted her lips nervously. She thought Arizona would be happy to know that she was coming back. But up until now, she hadn't seen a smile on the ivory face and she took that as a bad sign. After all, she left. "I wanted to leave because I thought that was what I want. But... who am I kidding? Here in this hospital, here in Seattle is my home. I don't fit in there because I miss my home. I miss my people."
"But... but..." Arizona opened and closed her mouth a couple times, still processing the whole situation. "What about Sofia? What about NYU?"
"I turned in my resignation shortly after you left. I have finished my 2 weeks notice." Callie smile timidly. "Meredith contacted Sofia's old school for us. We had the meeting this morning and they are more than happy to have her back."
"You have arranged everything." It wasn't a question. But the next one was. "And Penny?"
"Like I said, I thought that was what I want. I've given myself a lot in my previous relationships. George, Erica, you and even Mark. At the end of the day, I don't regret anyone of them even thought I had my heart broken. But with Penny... it was an illusion. It took me times to realize that." Callie took a deep breath and exhaling slowly. "I love her, but not the kind of love that worth to give up my world. She was a rebound. She knows that I'd never love her the way that she wants me to because my heart is occupied."
"I don't understand." Arizona shook her head slowly, trying to grasp the brunette's word but she was afraid to get it wrong.
"I've once had the kind of love that... worth changing your mind about children. Worth to pack up everything and moving to another continent - even I was cranky but I was ready to go. Worth to stay co-parenting with another man's child. And worth forgiving every mistake that we made." Callie took a few steps walking closer to the blonde. "Most of all, worth giving up your baby just to make the other happy. This is the kind of love that will never die, no matter how hard we try."
"Callie..." The blonde choked in her voice. She had waited for over 2 years to hear those words. If not for the tablet in a hand and the coffee cup in the other, she would have thrown herself in the brunette's arms and never let go.
"I wanted a new start. I needed a new start that was why I left. But going away makes me realize that the new start I need is in here, with the one that I have never stopped loving." The brunette declared firmly. She didn't say with whom but the smile on Arizona's face telling her that the message was received loud and clear. "So I come back. I come back to where I belong, where my heart belongs."
The smile on the fair skin face spread to a wide grin. She opened her mouth about to reciprocate, but the impatient third wheel in the room had had enough of this.
"Dr. Robbins, I believe you have a surgery waiting for you in about 15 minutes. You can have the rest of the conversation in your own time but now I need your answer." Bailey waved the piece of paper in her hand. "The hiring committee needs the unanimous votes from the board. What do you think about Dr. Torres's application?"
"Only a fool would let her go again." Not taking her eyes away from the expressive brown eyes, Arizona answered wholeheartedly.