Chapter 4: Research
When Artemis woke up the next morning, he was horribly dizzy. Despite this, he forced himself to get up and go to breakfast.
It was a quiet affair, where he managed to speak very little, aside from being introduced to a man who was even larger than Butler.
After that, he went to the classroom, his classroom. It was an ordinary sort of room, the kind he'd been forced into time after time at all of his mother's ridiculous boarding schools.
His office was much the same, although it gave him a small bit of pride to not have to sit in a student desk.
His first class of the day was a group of Hufflepuff fourth years. He was glad, because that meant he could just recite from the textbook. To the seventh years, he had assigned a nonexistent textbook with one of his pseudonyms, just to see what they would do.
"Good morning." He said. "My name is Professor Fowl."
The morning flew by. After the fourth years, he had sixth year Ravenclaws, and then a group of seventh year Gryffindors.
He didn't speak until all the seventh years were seated, which included the two girls from the train.
"You are likely wondering why I assigned you a false textbook."
Most of the kids nodded or grunted agreement.
"This year, I could spend teaching you spells and magic, things you likely all know. Is there anyone here who did not just fight in a war?" He asked.
No one raised a hand.
"I do not think there is a single spell I can teach you. Thus, I decided not to bother teaching you spells."
It wasn't like Artemis could do magic, but he'd managed to bluff his way this far.
The brown haired girl, Hermione, raised her hand. "What are you going to teach us?"
Artemis nearly grinned, a frightening thing to have to witness. "Miss Hermione Granger, was it?"
"Yes." She said.
"What do you think you could possibly learn from me, Miss Granger?" He raised an eyebrow. "I've heard the name. They say you're brilliant. So, what could you possibly learn?"
"What sort of a question is that?" She seemed shocked. "You're the teacher."
"For today, I would like you all to start naming spells." He said. "Any kind of spell."
…
The new teacher, Professor Fowl was baffling. Hermione had had some pretty ridiculous teachers, but he was definitely in the running for the weirdest.
To start it off, he was wearing a muggle suit rather than robes. He couldn't be older than sixteen. He purposely assigned a fake textbook.
And now he was having them name off spell after spell, along with what it did.
Hermione raised her hand.
"Miss Granger?" He nodded at her.
"Are you old enough to be teaching us?" She asked.
"That assumes that you have to be a certain age in order to be able to instruct others."
"How old are you?" She rephrased.
"House of the brave, indeed." He said. "I am nineteen years old, Miss Granger. Well past your coming of age."
She scowled.
Finally, the class ended.
"That was so odd." Ginny said. "Do you think we'll ever do anything?"
"I don't know." Hermione shrugged. "But for some reason, the name Artemis Fowl sounds vaguely familiar."
…
By lunchtime, Artemis was so horribly dizzy it was getting ridiculous. He couldn't bring himself to stomach anything at all.
His next few classes were thankfully all younger students, so he was able to devote a larger portion of his brain to wondering about the connection to his death.
Although wondering is not really the correct word, because Artemis Fowl did not really have a sense of wonder.
Once he was done with classes for the day, he went to the library, which was nearly empty because no teacher had assigned first day homework.
He quickly found the section on magical illnesses, and pulled a large stack of books off the shelf.
Some of the books were rather heavy, and Artemis found himself wishing Butler was there.
Again, this is odd, as Artemis Fowl does not do much wishing.
"I really don't think we should bother, Hermione." The only other voice in the library attempted a whisper. "I think we should just let it be odd."
"But that name, it sounds so familiar, Ginny. Fowl."
Artemis realized that they were talking about him.
"Not to me." She said. "But what the hell. We should tell Harry about it. Maybe something interesting will get him out of bed."
"Doubt it." Hermione sighed. "I'm worried about him."
"Me too." Ginny said.
"Is Ron going to come to the fireplace again tonight?"
"Yeah. He said he would. About two in the morning."
The two girls left.
Artemis allowed a small part of his mind to wonder about the conversation and devoted the rest to the books in front of him.
Reading was not helping his dizziness.
…
That night, Hermione and Ginny didn't go to bed at all. They sat in the common room as everyone else got tired.
Neville was the only one left after a few hours. "What are you two up to?"
"What do you mean?" Ginny asked.
"You two are up to something." He said. "I want in."
So, they told him and when Ron called at two in the morning, he was happy to see Neville.
"Does the name Artemis Fowl the second mean anything to you?" Hermione asked.
Ron shook his head. "Should it?"
"No." She said. "Because I feel like I heard it years ago, before Hogwarts."
"Really?" Neville asked. "Where?"
"I don't know. That's what's bothering me."
"Maybe Ron could go research it." Ginny said. "Go to a muggle library and look at newspapers or something."
"Joy." Ron groaned. "Research."
"I'll do some research too." Hermione promised.
…
Captain Holly Short was in a foul mood, which, for once, was only partially that fault of Artemis Fowl.
Well, it was indirectly his fault.
If he hadn't died, it wouldn't be a problem.
And if he hadn't taken off to wizard school, and been such a child, she might've been tempted to call him and ask if he was alright.
Instead, she went to Foaly, who had literally been heads over hooves in work since all technology with Opal Koboi tech in it had stopped working.
"What's up, Holly?" He asked. "How's the mudboy?"
"That's why I'm here." She said. "I'm worried about Artemis."