I don't want to WRITE, I wanna look at cool stuff on the INTERNE-

"Dialga190: aeiou
Raxz: asdf
Black Lightning: John Madden
Ricky: HOSES HOSES HOSES HOSES HOSES HOSES HOSES HOSES HOSES HOSES HOSES HOSES HOSES HOSES HOSES HOSES"

FUCK IT.

CHAPTER 31: AEIOU

Sonic couldn't tell if he had woke up. He felt very heavy, yet breathed softly. Obviously tired, Sonic shot his eyes open. He saw a clear, blue sky, with the sun shining above. He was lying down in a square hole, being boxed in by huge bricks that the castle foundations were constructed from.

Shocked from what he had managed do, he began to wonder how he had done it, but the wearyness bothered him. He couldn't think straight. Seeing as how he wasn't in any life threatening danger, he decided that it was okay to sleep and regain his energy.

It wasn't a very long rest. Thirty minutes after his nap had began, noises brought him out of sleep. Now noticeably less tired, he paid attention to these sounds.

"... Did you find anyone?" One of them called.

"Nah, found Sonic's crazy talking sword, though." Another called back. "The part with the face. Can't find the other half, though.

"Keep looking!"

They were looking for him, apparently. He could have called out, but he could wait a few minutes... or another thirty.

But before he could, he heard footsteps, coming toward him. He saw his seeker walk to the side of the hole he was in, and hop down. Sonic couldn't be bothered to open his eyes and talk at the moment.

And for that, again, he fell asleep.

Sonic was shook awake this time. He was being carried in an over the shoulder fashion. This time, he opened his eyes again. The person who found him was wearing the yellow scarf. -... Did I have it during the blast or not? I don't think I did. What the hell caused that damn explosion, anyway? It was just the most random thing that happened to me in my entire life that actually mattered.- A quick glance at the armor revealed Percival had extracted him. Sonic thought it would be best to let her know that he was fine.

So, as Percival landed another jump down to the ground from the large mound of rubble, Sonic decided to get her attention. "Yawww... awwnnn..." Sonic yawned aloud.

"Sonic!" Percival said, relieved.

"Yeah yeah, let me down." Sonic said with less enthusiasm. "Please."

As he was let down, Bors, who was walking with Percival just now, turned to greet the surviving hedgehog.

"Glad to see you've made it." The armadillo said, taking off his helmet. "We could use some help in extracting other knights. We've yet to find Galahad and Lamorak, although Galehaut. Gawain and I are proving to be an effective searching team, not counting the dozen or two members of the small army you got us."

"Great, but..." Sonic trailed off, putting his back to the rock behind him and slowly sliding to the ground. "...my aching everything..."

"Understandable, but please, when you can, help us out here, alright?" Bors asked politely. "It's terribly hard work. Can you walk?"

Sonic groaned. "I can walk, it is just that it hurts."

"Well, the remains of the courtyard is just down, the grass is much more comfortable than any rock here."

"Alright alright, just... let me..."

Sonic slowly began to nudge his way toward the edge of the massive block he was sitting on. When his feet got to the edge, he pulled himself off, and got into a ball. He began to roll to the bottom of the pile of rocks, and when he felt the grass, he uncurled and sprawled out across the ground.

"... Strange fellow." Bors commented.

"Indeed." Percival agreed.

"And you do notice he sings, too? Not the best I've ever heard, though." -HATERS GONNA HATE. Also, if you read all of these sections in my voice, you're doing it wrong. The ones with the squiggly lines are thought in the voice of the singer, because it's a song. And right now, you're supposed to be reading in the voice of Morgan Freeman. Go ahead, reread it. Take your time, let it soak into your mind. Snooping as usual, I see.-

Sonic laid there in the sun, not wanting to move a limb, searching through his internal music player to try to remember a song that he likes to help pass time. -~Can you feel liiife, movin' through your mi~-~Home street, where you live, girls talk about their social lives. They're made of lipstick, plastic an-~-~Once upon a time, you could be a bad guy, and you'd live to see another day...~-

Suddenly, Sonic saw something in the corner of the eye. The exhausted hero lifted his head to investigate, and saw a black shadow move under the bricks. Too tired to let it down gently, Sonic slammed his head on the ground.

"Ow." He said monotonously.

"Sonic!"

Sonic's head came back up at the sound of the familiar voice. It was Leon. He was heavily bandaged, but Sonic was sure the two tailed fox felt better than himself at the moment.

"Hey Leon. Merlina hinted at what happened with you. Sorry about earlier..." Sonic apologized.

Leon sat next to Sonic, grunting as he sat down. "A demon possessed me. Couldn't move. I could talk, but the words got mixed with his, and I could only talk when he was talking. Later, though I fought him enough to gain control of my lips, and when you beat us, he let me have control, though he still lingered within me... A priest did an exorcist however, and purged the demon from me."

"Glad to hear..." Sonic breathed. "... Why were you with Merlina?"

"I sorta... kinda... took what you said a bit too personal. I made a quick sword and left into the forest to train, which is when I met Merlina. She said she'd make me stronger. Better." The fox began, shaking his head as he went on. "Make me able to fly. She lied, of course... I'm sorry."

"It's okay. She fooled a lot more people than just you." -But not me!- "... So, what the hell just happened?"

"The flash?"

"Yeah.

"I heard a bunch of people finding gun powder dust all over the place."

"Fucking PERFECT, I slammed her so hard, she lit on fire, broke through a dozen or so walls, ceilings and floors, and ignited enough gunpowder to blow the whole castle up."

Leon laughed, and shook his head. "... Yeah, yeah. Probably."

"... Did you find Merlina? Or the Scabbard?"

"We found Merlina, unconcious, holding the scabbard, on the other side of the chasm. She had to have flew a mile. We pried it from her hands and tied her up, but one of the knights said we should wait to see if you were dead before going on and executing her, as you really wanted to do that."

"Tell them they get a promotion." Sonic said.

About an hour passed. Sonic slowly regained energy, and it no longer hurt to move. He now had the will and energy to walk around. So he got up, and as soon as he did, Nimue walked to him with Caliburn, now in one piece

"Sonic! It's glad to see you're well." Nimue said with relief.

Sonic smiled and scratched the back of his head. "Sorry for creating a scene with what you gave me, but hey, could have been worse."

"Much worse." Nimue responded.

"Much MUCH worse." Said the sword, smiling as Sonic jumped in surprise. -Swords shouldn't play dead! They shouldn't even be alive to play dead with anyway!-

"Great to see you're in one piece again." Sonic greeted, taking him from Nimue's hand. "I shoulda known you'd be good at playing dead."

"Oh, I was dead, for a while. When they scavenged me from the wreckage, Nimue did a spell to forge me together and bring me to life once more."

"Did they tell you what happened?" Sonic asked.

"Yes, they did. I knew you had potential, but that was not what I was expecting." Caliburn went on. "I'm proud of what you've become, if a bit harsh and sadistic."

"Harsh, yes..." Sonic began, stroking his chin. "But fair. Anyway, where is Merlina?"

"She is in the remains of the courtyard." Caliburn responded.

"Good." Sonic said as he began to climb the giant bricks.

"Wait." Nimue shouted. Sonic stopped and turned to her. "... There's not much of a chance at you sparing her, am I correct?"

Sonic nodded. "Yes. I'm sorry if you expected a different kind of hero, but it's who I am." -No, it's not really.- "I have my own problems back home to deal with, so if your patience is dry with my attitude and actions, I'll let you know, mine was dry when I got here."

Nimue looked down to the ground and sighed. "I understand. Go ahead, if you must."

"It's not if I must now. It's what the people want. They proved themselves worth saving, with the passion in their hearts, the fire in their eyes, and the courage in their soul. A life worth living is one worth fighting for. Do you understand that I'm not as mean as I made myself out to be earlier?"

"Yes, I see. Thank you." Nimue thanked, now fully understanding his point of view.

Sonic turned away, resuming climbing to the top. "And again, really sorry 'bout Lancelot."

Sonic climbed to the top of the mountain of rubble, and he saw White Death, spread out, having conversations. All of the Knights of the Round Table had been rescued. Off toward the edge of the cliff was Merlina, tied with her hands behind her back and her feet together. Sonic began to make his way to his knights.

Lamorak turned to greet him. "So, how's it going, iron man?" Lamorak chuckled. -~HAAAS HEEEE LOST HIS MIND? CAN HE SEE OR IS HE BLIND?~- "Quite some shit you've stirred up."

"Yeah yeah, I know. Strength potions are a helluva drug." Sonic laughed. "Anyway, I feel like wrapping this up."

"Executing her?" Lamorak asked.

"Yes." Sonic answered. "You and Galehaut go gather an audience."

"Yes, my king." Lamorak bowed, and began to walk toward the crowds of people with the burly knight following him. -With voices like those, they'll do anything to get them to shut up.-

"Gentlemen, thy king wills to perform the execution of the Witch now." Lamorak said. "So please, take your seats amongst the rubble."

Galehaut decided to add some speculation of his own. "HE'S PROBABLY NOT DOING A BURNING, HOWEVER, THIS LEAVES HIM WITH A PLETHORA OF CHOICES. GRANTED WHAT HE JUST DID HOURS AGO, IT'S SAFE TO KEEP YOUR DISTANCE."

"Indeed, Galehaut! Take your seats! A show is about to begin..." Lamorak ordered.

The warlock stared at the fiend that appeared in front of him. He played with the toothpick in his mouth while he examined his next enemy. From the looks of it, it was the demon that had been purged from the Neon Knight that he heard the rest of White Death talking about. He didn't look as frightening as the cat girl who told him made it out to be, but he still looked no good. Shouldn't have started on home without everyone else, the powerful magician groaned in his mind. Whatever, just another ass to kick.

Without a single hint of fear, anger, or even care, the warlock asked, "Oi, whaddya want?"

"I was purged from my last host. From what I've seen of your power, I've decided you're my next one!" Mephiles answered..

"Ugh," The warlock said, starting to show his more calm, heavy British accent. "Shut your mouth. I hate your type. Not like that'd do much, anywho. I'm a lot like you, in several ways. I'm an asshole and I like getting in other people, but not the kinda way you're thinking, hehe..."

"So, does that mean you'll resist or not?" Mephiles curiously asked.

"You having control of me? Hell no! I've killed EELS that look scarier than you! While running on one of the most TERRIBLE headaches of my life!"

"So be it, then!" Mephiles said, raising his hands, slowly glowing with a purple dark energy.

"PFFT!" The cocky yet powerful magician scoffed, raising his staff.

Before the warlock could cast a spell, Mephiles shot his off at him. He flinched, but without a hint of pain the warlock smiled.

"Oh, please, if you did that spell on a woman I've known for a week, she'd say MY DICK HURTS-"

Suddenly, bird feces landed in his right eye. His other eye, which had a red iris, showing an extremely agitated glare toward the sky, looking for the culprit.

"That's supposed to be lucky, y'know." Mephiles taunted.

He was more angered at the birds than the enemy that was threatening to inhabit his body. Regardless, the demon came first on his short list of things to deal with. As the warlock closed winced with his other eye as he tried to wipe the other clean, Mephiles suddenly lunged at him. Anticipating this, the lean magician smacked the attack with his free hand, but he could not stop his attacker's jab.

The crystalline hand went inside his body, but did not pierce the flesh. The moment the hit made contact, the warlock went stiff. It didn't even hurt. His body just locked up.

With fire in his red, non-crow-scatted eye, he sent a million words of hate with only the look in his eye. Mephiles did not say a word as his back began spurting black smoke, encasing the two.

The process was not painful. It had stopped all of his muscles from budging, however. His legs, arms, lungs, all were stopped, even his heart. But in a moment, it began a weak beat as the smoke faded away.

The warlock's clothes glowed an unhealthy red glow for a moment as the smoke began to fade away. His skin was also notably more tan. Looking over his body, which had not changed much other than the much more blatant unsettling sense of creepiness that he was naturally. He reached his hand inside his shirt through the neck, and withdrew the decoration on his necklace; an upside down cross. His single red eye, although had no visible changes, was different. It no longer had the look of the indecent, unkempt ladykiller. It had the look of an insane, unreasonable killer with no sign of stopping soon. Fully wiping the feces of the crow from his normal eye, Mephiles, now in control of the body, let out a wheezy laugh through his pointed teeth, with a satanic grin on his face.

"Whuhuhuhuhuhuhaha, uh huhuhuhuhuhhh..."

-~Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooo. I ain't happy, I'm feelin' glad, I got sunshine, in a ba-~ Oh hello.-

Sonic had waited until the search parties gave up searching for survivors. Before they did, however, they found at least twenty more of the freedom fighters.

Sonic walked over to Merlina. She was facing the abyss, and the forests and the skies beyond it. As Sonic walked around to meet her face to face, she looked back, fear and anger in her eyes.

"Merlina," Sonic said softly. "Every world has it's end. Every life has it's end. I know it's kinda sad, but..."

Sonic reached toward the ground beside Merlina, and picked up the dandilion she had picked up earlier. "That's why we gotta live life to it's fullest in the time you have."

Merlina continued to stare. She was on the verge of crying, but given what Sonic just said, it wasn't for sadness. -Oh boy is she in for a surprise.-

"And not tear it out of the grounds it has gotten used to."

Sonic's expression turned cold.

"I told you this before, why didn't you listen? When you took the flower from the ground, you derived it of it's nutrients, it's source of energy, the very thing that makes it live. When you began to plunge this world into the underworld, you were doing the same thing you did to the flower, cut it off from everything that makes it a world you can live in. Sure, you could survive in the underworld, but there's more than life than just surviving. It's about living."

Sonic grabbed the hilt of Caliburn.

"And you derived many innocent people of that natural right. You and your grandfather."

Caliburn couldn't help but comment. "Very well done speech, Sonic."

Sonic tossed Merlina the flower, and began to walk behind her. She caught it with her bound hands, and held it close to her nose, smelling the scarce scent the flower once had.

"Grandfather..." Merlina sobbed.

The poor girl jumped a bit when she felt Caliburn's sharp tip touch her spine and rest there. Then came the gloved hand, on her back, to ensure she stays still as the sword goes in through her back. Her staff no where to be found, she was helpless.

Sonic had braced himself for the stab. He took a breath in, and looked to the sky. He didn't like the gory deaths, but it was his final chance to apply his rude personality and harsh-but-fair ideology this whole experiment was based around on.

Looking at the sky, he saw sun, high in the sky, directly over head. It was at high noon. And he saw the moon. Not outstanding, really. It was somewhat blue, as the moon usually is during the day. It was a normal day, ignoring the astronomy. Couple clouds in the sky, a light amount of wind, couple birds in the sky. A couple were probably vultures, given the situation.

Then an idea came to him.

"Oh. My. God." Sonic said, backing away from Merlina. "Ohmygodohmygodohmygod."

Sonic raced over to the nearest wizard. "May I have your staff?"

The wizard bowed. "With pleasure, milord. What are you planning to do?"

"How do I make two linked portals?" Sonic asked curiously.

"Two linked portals? That's not a common spell. Unlike most spells, where you say some incantation and a monster comes out if it wants, you needs items for it. Not many find use in it, but it's pretty easy and quick learn. Let me show you." The wizard said, leading Sonic off to the side to demonstrate it to him.

The mage handed Sonic several black and white supposedly magic beads, saying that although there are many other colored ones, those were the ones needed. Sonic practiced summoning the two things, as well as throwing rocks through them for fun. -Thinking with portals and all.- After getting used to it, and eliminating the two he had out, he made the crowd back away from Merlina, to the point where they were all sitting on the rubble.

Sonic spoke loud and clear to Merlina."Merlina, for your attempting to drag the entire world into an everlasting hell, you will be punished. Not by death. Not by being sent to hell. No."

Merlina was trembling. -It makes me feel bad, but considering everyone in this world would have died, and that this is like a video game where I can just go back to an earlier part and undo everything, it doesn't matter.- "Then... Then what is the punishment?"

"You..." Sonic said as he cast a portal underneath Merlina. A white ring appeared around the kneeling girl.

Sonic turned to the crowd, seeing if they were at all suspenseful. He took a moment to enjoy how comfy the scarf was. -Oh, and while we're talking about comfy stuff, wool coats. Not only is it nice and warm, but I fucking LOVE it when a girl wears one.- Sonic turned back to the endless wilderness ahead of him, and prepared the next portal by putting the black beads into his hand. Sonic steeled himself for the executing act, taking a deep breath in.

"Are to be sent ELSEWHERE."

He launched the next portal. It raced over Merlina's head, over the edge of the cliff, over the vast forests, and skyward.

Toward the moon.

A twinkle appeared on the moon as Sonic ran toward the audience, screaming "GET TO COVER!". Suddenly, Merlina was sucked through the portal alarmingly quickly. It did not stop with her. All of the air in the general area was being pulled toward the portal, as well as everything in its way. The crowd screamed and clutched to their seats. Those trying to run away fell off the pile of rubble and onto the grass, where they were slowly being dragged in from the wind racing to the portal.

But before anyone else had fell into the portal, Sonic launched another portal right next to the first one. Immediately, it replaced the portal on the moon, cutting off the powerful vacuum of space to the grounds of the castle.

After a moment of sweet relief, everyone had began to pick themselves up, wondering what had just happened.

"Mother of God..." Gerald said, slowly standing up.

"Now I'll be the first to say, no one thought of that." The magician said.

Bors was shocked. "Sonic, you just..."

"Yes. I did." Sonic said, wiping the sweat from his brow.

Sonic returned the equipment to the wizard, and thanked him.

"Alright, everyone, listen up." Sonic began to announce to his small audience. "We are heading back home, and the first thing we do when we get there, is celebrate in the castle. I would prefer it if you weren't as savage as the previous night, but seeing how that is hard, and I won't bother trying to limit the amount of beer one can drink in one night because I don't like limiting rights, but please, don't go overboard. I swear, like, one third of the population died last night from alcohol poisoning."

There was a chuckling response from the crowd.

Sonic opened his mouth, ready for more lecturing. "Then... I don't know. I'll know when I get there, though. WELL MEN, BACK TO OUR GLORIOUS..."

It was then did Sonic realize he not know the real name of the city. -Fiddlesticks.-

The crowd stared back, expecting an answer. -COME ON, LEVEL TEN CHARISMA, THINK, THI- Oh I know!-

"... I was expecting you to finish for me, but whatever. BACK TO OUR GLORIOUS FAMILIES, FRIENDS, AND CITY! URA!"

"URA! URA! URA! URA!" The mob cheered back. -I feel like the commander of the Red Army. Except much more primitive.-

Cheering and all satisfied with what they had accomplished today, they began to march home.

After 2 weeks of trying to fix my constipated writing (read: forced, unimaginitive, plain writing. i.e. The Portal practice scene.), my family decides to go on vacation to Florida this week. Guess I'll read a book while I'm down there, unclog my system and be able to write better stuff more willingly.

Also, I wanted to finish this story by Sonic's Birthday, on the 23rd. GUESS THAT AIN'T HAPPENING.