I apologize greatly that I'm garnering Notch's work schedule and the developing format similar to what produced Duke Nukem Forever, but I'll have you know, this story WILL be finished. I'm just spending my time writing other little tidbits that go with this, and/or dumpster diving (read: looking for interesting stories in this section of this site) for something to beat the clogging out of my neural plumber's nightmare scientists call a "brain" that is stopping me from finishing the story. So here have the best title I can manage to think of in two weeks.
CHAPTER 38: RIDING A BLACK UNICORN DOWN THE SIDE OF AN ERUPTING VOLCANO WHILE DRINKING FROM A CHALICE FILLED WITH THE LAUGHTER OF SMALL CHILDREN AND THE BLOOD AND TEARS OF ENEMIES
-I WISH it was that awesome but whatever.-
It had been a week, and Sonic had finally come up with a good cover for his schemes, and was putting it into action. He would say Tails was building another workshop somewhere in Green Hill, and although Tails had plenty of supplies himself, Sonic had to do 'grocery shopping'. And that he had no idea what the kid would possibly want to do with piles of flashlights, refrigerator boxes, shovels, drills, jackhammers, plumbing pipes, hundreds of wooden planks, wood glue, nails, hammers, a few solar panels, tents, sleeping bags, piles upon piles of fur dyes of various colors, and book or two on electric circuitry and tunnel digging, but that was all on the list and Sonic was just getting it all for his good pal Tails. Definitely not some sort of secret lair for superheroes like the cashier of the depot had theorized. -"I've got better things to do with my life than make a secret lair," I joked. "Like make a clone army. Do you know how awesome a clone army would be if you had one?"- So the hardware store supplied Sonic with a truck and a driver, who was ready to go, but Sonic noted that there were some boxes of stuff Tails left in his apartment the last time he came over. And that the eight year old fox can carry a lot. These 'boxes of stuff' would be the Knights.
Sonic walked into his apartment with the eight folded cardboard refrigerator boxes. The driver kindly let him borrow a wheelbarrow, duct tape, and a screwdriver, and expected him back in ten minutes, at least.
"Alright everyone, get in a box." Sonic said, passing out the seven boxes to his six knights. "Percival, bring the files with you, Galahad, that small container has food in it, bring it in your box..."
"YOU SEEM TO HAVE TWO EXTRAS." Galehaut pointed out. "I PRESUME IT IS FOR CALIBURN AND THE SCABBARD?"
Caliburn groaned. The Scabbard doesn't treat him too well the last time they were in each others company.
"The Scabbard and Caliburn are going in Bors' box." Sonic noted. "One of them is for the giant dark salami I have in my closet, and the last one is for you."
"BUT I ALREADY HAVE A BOX."
"Do you honestly think you could fit in it?"
Galehaut examined the box. There was a very noticeable size difference between himself and the box. He wouldn't fit in it.
"ARE YOU PLANNING ON GRAFTING THESE BOXES TOGETHER?"
Galehaut took a moment deciphering the message Sonic was trying to send as he held up the screwdriver.
Sonic hauled the second half of the Robot Knight Galehaut out of the sixteen wheeler truck, down the ramp, across the bright, life-filled grass of the Green Hill Zone, and down a small pathway into a small, alley-like spot, hidden inside a gap between two cliffs that normally he would leap across the tops, and not pay attention to what lies below. Seeing as the area was subtle, and not near like how others would place their secret lairs, Sonic felt like he made a good choice in his location.
"That's the last of it." Sonic announced, relieved, pulling the hand truck out from underneath the box. The trucker had not got the slightest suspicions toward him, only toward the variety of supplies they carried out.
"What do you think Tails is gonna do with it all?" The driver asked, walking over to claim his trolley.
Sonic let it go, scratching his head. "Heck if I know. You won't believe the things he can build."
The driver began wheeling the trolley back. "I've heard the stories. You're the one who reports it all, right? Every little 'adventure' you're in?"
Sonic followed him. "Yeah, but not every one. A lot, though..."
As the two walked back to the truck, Lamorak felt right to complain when they were out of earshot.
"This thing is so frickin' uncomfy."
"I AM IN TWO PIECES." Galehaut stated. "COPE WITH THE SITUTATION."
Percival added onto Galehaut's "You shouldn't be talking" message."Is it really that uncomfortable? I've slept on volcanic rock under a mine cart thinking I'd die the next day."
"That's because you suck at fighting and wouldn't HUNT HIM DOWN like a MAN would!"
"KEEP QUIET." Galahad ordered through a whisper.
"It's not like they can hear us by now." Lamorak explained.
"Look just shut up will you?" Galahad insisted.
Sonic cast a shadow over Lamorak's carboard box as the truck drove down the dirt road.
"NO! OLIOLIOOO-"
Lamorak felt the box begin to tip.
"-OOH FUCK!"
As the box slammed against the dirt, Sonic giggled to himself while his knights laughed. While they laughed, blind to see what Sonic was doing, he lifted his foot and dug into his shoe. In a moment, he withdrew a pocket knife.
"Yeah yeah, real funny Sonic, can you open us up now?"
Sonic flicked open the pocket knife, and flung it around as he made his way over to the top of the box. The swordsmanship skill he had in the books rubbed off onto him in reality. However, he felt a stinging sensation in his fingertips as he continued to stare at the blade's edge. He didn't feel this when looking at all the nasty looking swords, why does it do it now? He shrugged it off as something to do with the dream not being reality, and if he tried hard enough, he could do anything in it. -Which is SO FUN to think about!- With that, he switched it so that he was holding it backhand, and raised his hand.
"Yeah, just watch your precious little head."
The next second, a knife was plunged into the box, creating light in the otherwise pitch black insides of the box, coming out right next to his head. The Knights were told to wear their armor inside the boxes, and Lamorak was no exception, so if the knife had hit him, it wouldn't have hurt as much as it could.
Regardless, Lamorak flipped out.
"SWEET JESUS let me move down a little bit."
Lamorak put his hands up against the sides, and pushed himself into a crouching position. The bird signaled he was at a safe distance with a quick "Alright", and Sonic went and opened the box, dragging the knife through the tape. When he was done, he opened the top flap, letting a little bit of light inside the box. As Lamorak crawled out, he was pretty angry.
"Now what the heck was that all about?" Lamorak ranted.
"Don't be loud when you know someone is nearby." Sonic answered, opening Galehaut's top half box. "Can't have you catching attention of anyone."
Lamorak sighed as he sat on the ground next to his box. "Wouldn't you deal with it from there?"
"Deal with it?" Sonic asked, pulling Galehaut out of the box from his hand. "How, exactly?"
"You know. Get rid of him?"
Sonic sighed, and glared back at the green bird. "You don't understand, that stuff really isn't me. It's not how I normally do things."
"Well you don't normally clone people, either."
"Killing is just not what I do. Not in reality. Sure, I hate a good amount of people, but I'd have to be really out of it to kill someone. Lancelot's death was a result of the experiment, and a preset 'thing' I had planned. Anyway, grab a shovel. You have work to do." -Thinking back, it was fucked up. Shouldn't have done that.-
"I'm better at digging," Gawain stated. "Get me out of here and tell me what to do, I'll get it done."
"Good idea, Lamorak make a workbench instead. Gawain, let me put Galehaut back together, first." Sonic stated, opening the box containing the robots legs.
A few minutes later, just after opening Gawain's box, Sonic was examining Galehaut as he walked, questioning himself if he did his work right. He glanced over at Lamorak, who was doing decent work on the workbench, making it extremely basic workbench. It was a good time to get out the plans. He looked over at the remaining boxes, not able to tell them apart.
Not wanting to open a box and find chopped demon or a frustrated armadillo with a sword, Sonic called out. "Percival? I need that folder. Where are you?"
A couple bangs on the side of a box answered him.
Sonic made his way over. "Alright, tip the box over. Don't wanna stab anyone in the face or something trying to open it upright."
"BAH!" Lamorak groaned aloud in the background at hearing that last sentence as Percival did as told.
As Sonic was cutting open the box, Lamorak noticed something while seeing if his bench had evenly length legs by resting on it. At the side of the road there was a tall, wooden pole. It seemed to have faces on it, from the top to the bottom. They were all angry and fairly ugly looking. "The hell is that?"
Before Sonic could look up and point out exactly what he was talking about, Lamorak decided to do something else with his question.
"Oh, wait, let me guess... That top one, it's a carving of your mother?" -You've got to be shitting me Lamorak.-
As Percival came out, Sonic took the files from her. It was a hefty, business folder, and it contained The Knights of the Round Table book, the marble notebook where he kept his test results, a camera, photos of the armor both on and separate from its owner, detailed-yet-summarized papers on the people Sonic has met and their relation to him, and drawings of how Sonic imagined the underground base to be built. Sonic walked over to the makeshift table and slammed the folder on it. The knights that were free from their boxes gathered around as Sonic opened the folder and took out the blueprints, which lacked the "blue" feature as they were drawn on graph paper. Sonic realized he should have got a suitcase, but that would look all the more suspicious.
Sonic began to explain the main entrance, using his finger to point out certain pieces. "Alright, first of all, I want you guys to dig a decently sized square hole, for you to come in and out of. Not too big, not to small, good enough so you can walk through. I drew stairs here because I wanted to go with the graph, whatever.. Then, you do the typical mining support piece, wood on both walls, ceiling, and a little triangle to keep them upright and supported, and dig out, say, seven, eight feet, and put a door somewhere in between. Then I want you to hide the entrance as soon as possible, with an outhouse like I've drawn here. It's not that anyone comes by here every day and would notice this, but people would pay less mind to an outhouse than what at first glance looks like an open grave. Put the dirt on the ramp down here, make sure it's nice and square so people with the intention of keeping their cars wouldn't try coming here. As you dig, add a couple giant stairs of dirt so you can make your way out. That's all that I will tell you for now, because I'm going to get more of a work force, and I'm going to have to explain it to them as well."
"You're returning to the book?" Percival questioned.
"Yup." Sonic answered. "I'm gonna go for a less hateful, and more charismatic run."
He left the pocket knife on the table. "And open everyone else up." Sonic grabbed the book from the pile of items, and began to head off for some secluded corner of the area. He said some words over his shoulder as he walked. "Don't block the book, don't kill each other, that sort of thing. Bye!"
The Knights bid farewell and got to work. Sonic got into the dark, shady corner of the area, and, while no one was looking, slicked his over the top of his head as if he was hand-combing thrownback hair and grinned. -Welp, time to try to lady kill and fail hilariously at it.- With that, he opened the book, and was then gracefully sucked in with such a tragic amount of force, Percival's ponytail rose and pointed in its direction.
About ttwo or three hours had passed, and a good amount of work was done. Gawain was digging the hole, Bors was transporting the dirt to the tracks, Galehaut was to get supplies around, and Lamorak, Percival, and Galahad were working on the outhouse. The outhouse was drawn to have hinges so you could open it like a trap door, and the hole would funnel into a large pipe which Sonic noted should deposit off a cliff into the ocean. They decided to skip the pipe, and make the trap door for now. The tunnel was coming out well, for the most part. The cave seemed to be holding up just fine.
While working, Galahad wondered something. "He said that he was to be acting different during his experiments?"
Percival answered. "Yes, he did."
"And time passes differently in there, like, two and a half minutes per hour?" The hedgehog questioned.
"Yes."
"What do you think he's doing right now?"
Sonic walked out from the restaurant. He felt oddly paranoid, which was a good thing. A substantial amount of enemies were hidden when they struck, and today, he defeated King Arthur, and right now, the festivities were just as booming as the last time he came, if not, even more. He feared the Merlina might be more hostile with her methods of acquiring the Scabbard. Perhaps she could have hired mercenaries. To add to it, his 'ladykilling' wasn't going as planned. He felt like it wasn't his style, and he was right to feel that way. He felt slightly disappointed about it, yet in a way, somewhat relieved. He had bought a coat tonight to make him less distinguishable at a glance, or in a crowd, and as he left the place he ate at, he stole two kitchen knives, and kept them in the inner pockets of his newly acquired jacket.
Percival was interested, but hadn't put thought into it. "I don't know, fighting something? Maybe Arthur?"
He was pulled into the alleyway, as he feared he might be. He got prepared for an attack, specifically with something blunt. He was ready to fight back, but something about the grip of the attacker rose his suspicions.
Galahad scratched his chin. "What do you think he's doing there? Experiment-wise?"
He glared at the bat girl that had pinned him to the wall. Having the opposite look of his, she grinned as she leaned in closer to his face, her eyes explaining everything she wanted to do. Meanwhile, Sonic's eyes twitched.
"I don't know. What do you think?"
Sonic threw the bat off him, at the other wall of the alley, and reached for the knives.
"I don't know, that's why I asked, sorta."
"Want to know what I think?" Lamorak brought up.
"No." Said the two others in unison.
The street slut, now pinned to the wall by both knives stabbed through her wings, her forehead held in place as Sonic reared back a fist.
"Too bad, I bet five rings he is inside a woman right now."
The bat girl was fighting back ferociously as Sonic attempted to rip her teeth from her mouth.
"You are a pervert, Lamorak." Galahad noted.
"More like womanizing piece of shit." Percival, Lamorak's sister, corrected.
After failing at trying his attempt at malicious brute dentistry, Sonic kicked the bat in the gut to get her to stop biting down on his hand. With his now free hand, he hooked his fist upward toward the bat's jaw.
"Whatever, runaway." Lamorak threw back. "I still bet he is though."
With torn wings, the bat was thrown to the ground. Sonic retrieved his knives, and looked over at her.
"You're unbelievable, man." Galahad shook his head.
"Don't try me, you dime-a-dozen wench." Sonic growled at her as he turned away, looking at his hands. He wondered if bats had poison, or just sucked blood. -If she does have poison, I seriously hope Knuckles doesn't get in on that.-
"WHAT IS THE SITUATION YOU ARE HAVING HERE?" Galehaut asked, trying to stop the situation before it turned into a fight.
Sonic grunted back a scream as he felt the her nails slashing against his back. -Holy SHIT she's scratches like a nail on a chalkboard!- Two more swipes later, he fell on the ground, rolling on his back to see the bat ready to pounce at his face. He raised his foot.
"Nothing unordinary; Lamorak's being Lamorak." Percival noted.
"AH, I SEE. LAMORAK, STOP. WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS MANY TIMES BEFORE."
As the bat flew through the air, she tried to fly, but the bending of the skin of her wings only reminded her that they had been cut. Before she could hit the ground, Sonic rolled back and jogged away.
"Fine, fine." Lamorak groaned.
"AND THEY ALL HAD THE SAME RESULTS; YOU ENDING UP LEAVING, AND COMING BACK INTOXICATED, INCOHERENTLY BABBLING ABOUT FEATS YOU'VE NEVER DONE AND BLATANT LIES. ALLOW ME TO RECALL ONE OF THESE DELUSIONAL FALSE FEATS OF YOURS..."
As Sonic walked away through the thick crowds with his knives concealed inside his pocket and no suspicion gained from anyone around him, he realized he should have handled it differently. -I'm supposed to be a DAPPER LADYKILLER, not some plain old LADYKILLER. If I need to do any of this stuff RIGHT, I need to stop treating everything like a political fucking problem. Okay my virginity deserves to be treated like a political problem, and I like to be legit about my life achievements, but still these experiments won't get anything done if I don't dare. Then again, I'm not sure if you can be considered 'legit' when you're the guy planning on making a clone army.-
"...BUT THEN YOU WALKED OVER IT AND STATED 'NO'. AT THAT POINT, THE PIT IMPLODED AND TURNED INTO SOLID GROUND." Galehaut retold one of Lamorak's stories.
"... Can you offer up a little more details?" Lamorak asked.
"THE DUNGEON WAS OCCUPIED OF NECROMANCERS, WHO KEPT ON REVIVING ONE ANOTHER. THEY WERE PREPARING A RITUAL THAT NEEDED A SACRIFICE-"
"Ah, I remember now..."
Sonic arrived at the blacksmith's place once more. -Anyway, I need to stop treating this like reality. Play my cards right, it won't effect reality. It's a book. Deal with it.- He opened the door, and walked in. The Knights were there, lounging in the Blacksmith's chairs made with the decent amount of carpentering and sewing ability he had. He was paranoid of them, too. They just might carry out their king's last orders.
-I shouldn't be a critic of what I try to do here. I need to stop being a Celibate Hero in this world. I've proved it myself hundreds of times, in theory, from reading fan fiction, and I even went and dated Amy, albeit because of a fucking bet Knuckles and I had over Tails having enough man in him to do a Hammerhead stall, which I promptly dodged by reading The Book the first time, and I've come to realize the only thing that will land me anything above a brother-sister relationship with anyone with is bad writing... In my opinion at least.- Sonic looked back at the knights, and smiled.
-So I need to ACT like I'm part of a badly written book. I need to ACT out of character.- Sonic pulled a chair from the table, sat down, and threw his feet on the table, leaning back. -I don't know WHY I am saying I'm ever IN-character in the first place, but FUCK, JUST FUCKING ACT. AND ACT BAD!-
Two hours later, the knights working on the outhouse heard some commotion coming from the book. They looked over toward it, and it was spitting out Sonic. And Percival, then Gawain, then Lancelot, and lastly, the blacksmith. Galahad and Percival were glad to see Lancelot's face, intact and not shattered, however Lamorak hadn't paid too much mind.
"Welcome to your strange new world." Sonic greeted. "Keep your armor on, it'll help identify you, for a little while. It's going to take a while to explain, so please, don't kill anyone here, or run off."
Sonic, without asking, took the sword from Percival's sheath and cut the rope between them, and proceeded to do the same with the others. She didn't pay attention to him, she was looking at the duplicate of herself, as was Gawain. Lancelot and the Blacksmith noticed the duplicates, but were wondering where theirs were.
Sonic rushed over to the table, undoing the rope knot around his waist. When he had got there, he had begun writing quickly in his marble notebook.
"... You are me?" The new Percival asked, stupefied.
The older Percival, having already been broken into the idea of multiples of herself a little, answered calmly. "Yes, yes, and there's another one of us elsewhere. We're not to meet her."
"Oh... well..." She was at a loss of words. The veteran counterpart couldn't blame her. She glanced off at the Gawains, who were currently failing to get a word off to one other. Galahad was going on about how nice it was to see Lancelot again. Needless to say, Lancelot was less optimistic, but he thought curiously about why.
"Look, it's... nice to see you, but why are you bouncing off the walls?"
Galahad stammered. He wasn't sure how to tell a living person that he died. "Well... You see..."
"NO, GALAHAD." Sonic boomed over his shoulder. "You won't talk about that, I will."
"Are you sure?" Lancelot's son asked.
"Yeah, just settle down." Sonic, finished writing in the experiment recording book, decided to cut the conversations between the two groups. "Alright, alright, the sun is going down. Let's get some tents up, and I'll explain everything to the new guys."
The knights ran off to find the tents in the pile of items. Before he left, Sonic turned to Lancelot. "Starting with you."
"What the hell is he on about?" The black hedgehog interrogated.
"I don't know how to put this, so I'm just going to put this as bluntly as possible. Lancelot, there is a reason there's no duplicate of you here. I... Let's see..."
As Sonic dragged on, Lancelot wondered what was so bad, his face slowly turning from passive aggressiveness into confused disgust, flinching back into passive aggressiveness as Sonic began to speak again. As he spoke, Sonic took out his hand and counted each offense with his fingers.
"... I blew your face open, I looted your corpse, I didn't even bury you, and then I believe I gloated about it in front of your mother, who kidnapped you when you were a baby. But that's okay as it wasn't personally YOU, right?"
-Well, that went better than expected.-
Sonic shifted inside the sleeping bag. He wasn't in a tent, he chose to stargaze before sleeping. You couldn't see the ground outside. The only illumination came from the stars above.
Lancelot did not react bad at all toward Sonic claiming to have killed him. Granted, he thought it was a lie, and the others were delusional, but Sonic didn't feel like arguing with him. Lancelot complied just fine. The others got along well.
-This is starting off shaky, but it'll pick up with a couple more days.-
The base was turning out fine. The disguise was working fine, all that is needed now is to make it work and not make proof of it landing on their steps. Sonic had planned this with a pipe leading out the side of the hill over a beach. Other than that, the secretive door was built and functioned as planned. Sonic saw it as opening into a lobby, on the left being the dorms, the right the armory and war rooms, and in the middle, the king's room, holding his metal gauntlet, Caliburn, the Scabbard, his armor, and the books. Of course, it will take quite a while for it to be more than dirt hallways, but with a multiplying workforce, he couldn't guess how long.
-It'll pick up a lot. I wonder what I could use these guys for. Anything, really.-
The populace of the base, as he imagined, would get along. There should be differences in personality, if ever so slightly; to make them feel more alive. To make it so that everyone didn't act like robots to each other, all agreeing on the same exact process without debate. And he hoped it would stay at 'debate', not 'argue' or 'fight'. He would have to have a regulatory squad in there somewhere to prevent fighting.
-But what WILL I use them for? They're like insurance. It helps a lot if something happens, but that is if something happens.-
He couldn't predict the future, and so many times he wished he could. He would have done so many things differently.
But now, even though they would change his life, he could. Thanks to Aerea and her ability to enchant forms of media, he could take some of the games he has starred in and redo them. Fix the things he did wrong, change things around, make things right. He could destroy Metal Sonic, he could talk down Shadow, he could kill Eggman. And he could do it again, and again, and again, and again.
-I've waited so long for this day.-
With Aerea's enchantment, he had the power to go into other realms, as well. Not just ones based off his. He could do something rational, say, a game starring a particularly famous plumber, or he could throw caution to the wind and enter an action movie.
-This day will be the day I started something.-
He wondered how glorious it would be in a few years time. His childhood dream of doing anything he'd ever wanted to do, could be done in so much less time. He could see all the world had to it and more, he could enjoy it all, soak up all the fun before he has to leave, one way or another. He'd be complete. What he wanted to do when he left his small home on Christmas Island at the age of twelve with nothing but a biplane with a full tank of gas, a map he had no clue how to read, and determination, done. He almost squirmed at the thought. He almost felt complete already.
-Something great.-
Sonic almost couldn't believe it. It was all almost too easy. There had to be a catch somewhere. The thought of what he was going to be doing with the rest of his life crossed his mind, but he didn't look at it with fear. He saw it perhaps a chance to live a normal life. Perhaps to go even further beyond what he expected. He didn't know, but he liked it that way. He felt that if his life were a movie, this is the point where he would break into song singing "Don't Stop Me Now" while lighting the night on fire with fireworks, flares, bright lights and music. He could do that, but it would have to be later. When the clones work. When he stops Eggman once and for all. When he's complete.
When he's back home.
-I've started my way back home.-