Author's Notes:
Apologies for the long wait. I have been literally swamped with schoolwork ever since the school year began. (sigh) I never thought being in the last year of college could be this tiring. . .
Well, then, on with the fic!
Chapter 9
His small hands slightly trembled as he held on to the hem of his shirt.
A loud crash resounded through the entire house followed by angry voices muffled by the closed door that separated him from the two people most important to him. He stood by his father's desk rigidly, waiting for the heated argument of his parents to die down.
He didn't exactly know what caused his mother to be so angry this time. He had just passed by her room when she saw him and suddenly had another one of her emotional breakdowns. Luckily, his father had been there in time to get him out of the room, telling him to stay at the study before going back to subdue his mother.
The heated argument continued on and he remained rooted on his spot. He couldn't exactly hear what they were talking about. But he knew that it had something to do with him. It always did. It was always because of him that his parents often fought. There would always be something about him that deeply aggravated his mother and he knew he could do nothing to change the situation.
He bit his lower lip as he heard another heated exchange of words from both his mother and father. He knew the reason why his mother treated him the way she did. He was one of the jyuunishi, one who bears the curse of the zodiac. His mother couldn't accept that.
She rejected him.
Another loud crash suddenly brought him out of his thoughts, making him jump in surprise and his gaze quickly shifted to the door. Both of his parents were practically screaming at each other that even he can clearly hear the words.
Tears were starting to form in the corner of his eyes. He didn't want his to happen. He just wants the fighting to stop. Why can't everything just stop?
As soon as he thought that, the shouting suddenly stopped, as if both of his parents heard his thoughts, and silence fell throughout the house. Surprised, he finally let go of the hem of his shirt, curiosity and worry overlapping at the sudden silence.
Was it over? Did they finally stop fighting? Was it okay for him to go outside?
A few minutes passed as he listened over the still silence. Blinking back unshed tears; he slowly walked towards the closed door, stopping a couple of steps away. Cautiously he reached for the door and opened it ever so slowly so as not to make any noise.
The first thing he noticed when he opened the door was that his parents were not done. Their voices had gradually become lower that he thought they had finished. He carefully pulled the door a little bit wider so that he now had clear view of the hallway, the door to his mother's room left half open.
He could hear his mother's sobbing voice and his father's worried, almost pleading, one, calling for her. Suddenly, he heard a loud thud on the floor followed by his father's frantic cry. A feeling of dread suddenly filled him and he opened the door, walking towards the room where his parents are.
His father's voice was becoming more panicked, desperate even, as he came closer and he could now hear that he was talking to someone else as he made fumbling sounds in the room.
". . . Dad?"
He called out quietly just as he was a few steps away from the door but his father didn't seem to hear him. "Dad?" he tried once more as he reached the door. He froze mid-step, just as he turned to face the open door, as he finally caught a glimpse of what was happening inside the room.
His father was on his knees, frantically talking to someone on the phone looking distraught and on the brink of tears. But that wasn't what made his breath hitch. It was the sight of his mother, sprawled on the floor together with broken pieces of glass. Bright red blood continued to gush out from a gash in her right wrist, despite already being tied in a makeshift bandage.
Her head was slightly turned in his direction and he let out a gasp at seeing her cold, glazed eyes turn to him. He instinctively took a step back and the sound seemed to finally bring his father out of his panicked state.
"Momiji! Go back to the room!" he heard his father order him but he was too shocked to move.
" . . .If only. . ."
The words came like a whisper, but it was enough to make both him and his father turn to his mother, still sprawled on the floor.
". . . This wouldn't . . . happen. ."
She continued on, her breathing heavy from the loss of blood.
"If only you weren't born . . ."
His eyes widened at her words and tears once again flowed from her eyes as she let out a scream.
"IF ONLY YOU WEREN'T BORN!"
Momiji jerked awake, gasping for breath and went into momentary panic at seeing nothing but darkness before he remembered that he was now blind. He released a heavy sigh and plopped back down into his pillow realizing he had unconsciously propped himself up with his right arm in his panicked state.
"A dream. . ." he breathe out and closed his eyes. "No . . . a memory. . ." he corrected himself as he tried to calm himself down, feeling his heart beat loudly against his chest.
He didn't know why he suddenly dreamed about that incident. It had been so long ago that he had almost completely forgotten about it. So why did he suddenly dream about it? He opened his eyes, seeing the same darkness he had been seeing since he woke up after the accident.
The sight of blood flashed in his mind and he shook his head. If there was one thing he didn't want right no, it was the fact that he couldn't keep the image of his mother out of his head but it didn't do any good. The memory was, once again, fresh in his mind.
He ran a hand through his messy hair. He never did find out what really happened that day. All he knew was that his mother had gone hysterical after seeing him and she and his father began to argue.
The gash in her wrist, his father told him, was an accident. In her hysterical state, she had accidentally broken the vase she was holding and a large shard ended up piercing her wrist. Although, no matter how much his father told him that he wasn't at fault, he couldn't help but felt guilty. After all, they wouldn't have argued if it weren't for him. If only he hadn't been there that time. . .
He shook his head again and let out another sigh. He shouldn't think like that. It was all in the past. There was nothing he could do about it. What matters now is what he should be thinking about. "That's right . . . right now, mom is. . ." he whispered to himself as he recalled what happened yesterday.
Flashback
Momiji was humming cheerfully as he left the kitchen. They had just finished having lunch and Hatori was busy washing the dishes. usually he'd help out but since his arm was still healing, he couldn't do much of the house chores.
Reaching his room, he grabbed his ipod and sat back on his bed. But just as he was about to hit play, he jumped in surprise as his phone suddenly rang. Momiji blinked, wondering who it could be as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.
"Hello?" he answered.
"Momiji."
"Dad!" he broke into a smile as he heard his father's voice. "What's up?" he asked curiously. His father usually didn't call him on the phone. Usually, he'd just come over and visit him personally as a surprise. He usually only called when he had to leave for a business trip or when he's really busy that he can't come over.
"I just wanted to know how you're doing. I haven't been able to visit for a while . . . sorry." he said apologetically and Momiji blinked. "There's nothing to be sorry about dad. I'm fine!" he cheerfully tells him "And Hatori says that my arm's healing just fine. So don't worry." He reassured his father.
"I'm glad to hear that." His father said and Momiji blinked once more. Something felt different with the way his father spoke. Or rather, with the way his voice sounded. He spoke just like he always did, but it sounded like it was tinged with worry.
"Dad? Is something wrong?" he asked quietly and his father remained silent on the other end, it felt as if he was hesitating.
". . . Actually, Momiji, " he began "there's something that I need to tell you." His voice became more serious and Momiji can't help but feel worried. "I. . . wanted to there and tell you personally, but, at the moment, I can't leave." He further added.
Momiji suddenly felt a sinking feeling overcome him as he heard his father's words and he swallowed. "What is it?" he asked, trying not to sound too worried and his father fell into another pause before he continued.
"Momiji. . . your mom, she. . . she finally remembers everything." He suddenly froze at hearing his father's words and his eyes widened.
". . .Wh-what?" He stuttered, shocked as his father's words sunk in. "She remembers, Momiji. . . everything." he heard his father sigh "Her memories have resurfaced. . . She remembers you." His father told him calmly and he unconsciously gripped the pillow he was holding on to.
"How?" was the only thing he could ask as his mind spun around with various thoughts. His father had explained to him what happened. The headaches, his mother collapsing and how she remembered everything. He tried to listen while calming himself down as he felt a mixture of emotions and fell silent.
"Momiji?" his father called out, his tone, obviously worried. ". . . Dad" he began after spending a few more seconds in silence "What about Momo? Does she know too?" he asked, the words slowly leaving his lips.
"Yes"
Came the short answer from his father and Momiji let out a small sigh. "She had been asking us why you don't live with us. Even if we don't tell her the real reason, she would have eventually found out." his father reasoned and Momiji silently agreed. Momo was a smart kid after all. She would have found some other means of finding out the truth later on.
Momiji leaned back on the wall, sinking further into his bed. It's not that he didn't want to tell Momo. It's just, things were happening so fast and she had just found out about him being her brother. He didn't want to tell her everything else right away after that. He didn't want to rush things.
He had wanted to take his time to explain everything to Momo one thing at a time. But given the situation, he understood why his father did that. Now that his mother's memories of him had returned, she might start acting differently and at least Momo would understand why.
". . .ji. . .Momiji. . "
"Huh?" He snapped back to reality as he heard his father's worried voice "Are you alright? I know everything's happening so suddenly, you must still be quite shocked. . . I'm sorry." His father's voice sounded tired.
"Please don't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong." He said quietly and he heard his father sigh. "I know." His father said and a short moment of silence fell between them.
"How's Momo?" he asked, breaking the silence and he heard his father clear his throat "Well, she seemed to be doing good. She remained silent most of the time I was explaining things to her. She only spoke when she asked about something she didn't understand" he explained.
"I see. . . and mom?" he asked again and this time his father paused for a few seconds before speaking again "She hasn't said anything else about you aside from her memories returning. I think she needs some time." his father said admittingly.
"Is that so. . ." he leaned his head back onto the wall "Well, I guess that's expected." He said and his father made a sound of agreement on the other side. "Are you okay? I know this is hard for you." His father's worried voice broke the short silence that fell between them.
". . . I'm okay, dad. Shocked, but I'm okay." He calmly told his father. It wasn't a lie. He was fine. Although he did feel a little tired from the sudden rush of emotions and thoughts that came when he heard the news.
"Are you sure?" you know can always talk to me right? I'm always ready to listen, Momiji." His father said comfortingly, reassuring him, and a smile broke out on his face "Yeah, I know dad. Thanks." He gratefully said.
He then heard some shuffling sounds from the other end and his father's voice came back "Sorry Momiji, I have to go now. I'll call again later." His father said "It's okay. I know you're busy." He said. After hearing a short 'bye' his father hung u; leaving him to ponder about their conversation in the silence of his room.
End Flashback
After he had that conversation with his father, he spent the rest of the day in silent thinking. He didn't know whether he'd be happy or worried that his mother remembers him, or that Momo now knows the whole truth. He knew that he needed time to think about the recent happenings since so many things happened so fast and he felt too many emotions to actually react.
He knew Hatori had noticed his sudden change in mood and he was thankful for the space the older man gave him and took it as a chance to finally clear his mind.
He ran a hand through his messy hair before letting out an exasperated sigh. Well, that was what he had hoped to do. Despite all the thinking he had done he still felt confused. He had always wished that his mother still remembered him and he was really happy when his father told him that her memories of him returned.
But somehow, he can't help but feel uneasy knowing that either. He had realized; from the moment he heard the news from his father, that the next time he would see his mother; she would most likely act differently from him. And that fact scared him somehow.
Over the years that he had been watching his mother, she had been so happy and full of life. Even when she found out about him she still treated him the same way she did, caring and motherly. The thought of that disappearing, changing, into something else scared him.
"IF ONLY YOU WEREN'T BORN!"
The grip he had on his blanket tightened as his mother's anguished cry rang through his head once more as he tried to will the memory away. He stayed like that for some time, unmoving, gripping the blanket tightly as he tried to distract himself.
He didn't want to think about his mother for the time being. Not right now. He felt so tired just thinking about all the things that were happening that he just wanted to go back to sleep.
But no matter how much he tried to go back to sleep, he just can't stop thinking about what's going to happen next. He can't stop thinking about how his mother would react once she sees him again. And he definitely can't stop thinking that, no matter how much he convinced himself that everything was going to be fine, he can't help but feel scared at the thought that his mother would revert back into her old self.
And that scared him the most.
Dinner was silent as both Hatori and Momiji continued to eat. The sound of the cutlery and the occasional comment here and there about the food were the only things that kept the silence from being too long.
Hatori would occasionally glance at Momiji as he quietly ate. Momiji had been quite down ever since he got the call from his father yesterday; but now, he seemed more troubled. He still acts like he usually does, but there are times where instead of looking cheerful, it ended up looking strained, pained even, and he would often fall silent. Most likely in deep thought, he guessed.
He knew that Momiji needed some space and he was willing to give him that, he had already done so since yesterday. But it didn't seem to help. Even Tohru's visit earlier didn't help much in lightening his mood and Tohru came to him, worried as well.
He took a sip of his drink while he thought of what to do. Momiji had his own way of coping with things like this, he knew. It's just, Momiji always took everything on his own. He would talk to him about it sometimes, but usually he just keeps everything to himself and that worried Hatori even more.
It was obvious that what has been happening was greatly affecting Momiji. But the boy was keeping everything to himself. He had tried talking to him about it a few times but all Momiji woud say was that he was fine and that he shouldn't worry.
He looked up from his plate when he noticed the silence and suppressed another sigh. Momiji was, once again, seemingly lost in thought as he seemingly stared at his own plate. "Momiji," he called after making the blonde look up from his plate and blinked "Yeah?" "Are you alright?" He said.
Momiji blinked innocently at what he said "Huh?" he blinked once more, tilting his head slightly. "You stopped eating." He said. Momiji looked down again "Oh. Sorry. I've been kinda. . . preoccupied." he said quietly.
"I know. I'm just worried, Momiji." He told Momiji. "I'm fine. Don't worry, Hatori." Momiji tried to smile but it came out weak. Hatori pushed his plate away from him, having finished his food minutes ago. "I know. A lot's happened ever since you got out of the hospital and I know you're having a hard time dealing with things." He said calmly, watching Momiji for any reactions.
Momiji remained silent, his eyes looking at him, though not directly, before he cast them down on to the table. "I'm fine, Hatori." He said, his voice loud enough for him to hear.
He held back a sigh "I know. But if there's anything I do to help Momiji, just tell me." He told the boy "I'm here to listen." He added and he saw something flicker in Momiji's eyes for a second before a small smile graced his lips "I know Hatori. Thanks."
A moment of silence fell as they both got lost in their own thoughts. "Well," he began "since we're both done, I suppose we should clean this up." He said as he started to get the dishes into the sink. He had already gotten his message across – that he wanted to help Momiji any way he can – now all he could do was to wait for Momiji to decide whether to talk to him or not.
Of course, if Momiji didn't want to, he wouldn't force the boy. He just really wanted to help. After all, Momiji was like a younger brother to him.
Momiji helped him carry the smaller plates using his free hand. Although hatori told him it was okay not to, he insisted, saying that he could do that much at least and that he really wanted to help.
In the end though, he was still the one who was washing everything. Momiji kept him company, sitting on one of the chairs he pulled from the table into the counter.
Silence once again filled the room, but it wasn't as tense as it was during dinner. Momiji had fallen silent once again after they had finished talking about some random things.
After a few more minutes had passed, it was Momiji who decided to break the silence. "Hatori" he called. "Hm?" he took a glance at the blonde before returning his gaze to the plate he was currently washing. "What is it?"
Momiji didn't answer right away and he was about to ask if something was wrong when the boy finally spoke. ". . . you said. . . you'd listen to what I have to say, right?" hatori turned to him as he fnished washing the plate.
"yes." He answered, wondering what the boy would say. "You also said that you wanted to help, right?" Momiji added and Hatori wondered where this was leading. He somehow had a bad feeling about this, but he answered anyway. "Yes, that's what I said."
Momiji seemed to consider what he said as he fell silent once more, looking as if he was torn about telling him or not.
After what seemed like minutes, Momiji looked back up at him "Can I ask you a hypothetical question?" Hatori raised a brow. He didn't expect that. "Okay. But why a hypothetical question though?" He asked back.
"Well, I just. . ." Momiji turned away ". . . I just want to know something." He answered and Hatori became more curious as to what Momiji wanted to ask him.
"Hatori . . ."
He saw something flicker in Momiji's eyes once again but it went too fast that he couldn't recognize it.
". . . If I ask you to erase my mother's memories . . . would you do it?"
Author's Notes:
Yes, once again, another cliffhanger. I seriously don't know why most of my chapters end up in having cliffhangers. I just realize it when the chapter's done. This chapter was actually supposed to be longer but the scene following the last scene wasn't turning out so good so I tought I'd just divide it into two and fix that one first. Though I don't know when I'd be able to write again since I am still swamped with schoolwork and my motivation is. . . somewhat lacking. . . like I have ideas and plot and everything in my mind but I just can't write it. This has been happening for quite a while now which is why this chapter may not be as good as the previous ones (maybe, I'm not sure). But rest assured I'll still continue writing, I just need to get an extra boost of motivation! ^^
On another note, I wanna explain about the dream Momiji had about Maiko. Well, the idea for this came when I was re-reading the chapter(manga) where Momiji was telling Tohru about his mother and I noticed on one of the panels that Maiko's right hand was bandaged-like and I got curious and checked the anime and it was there as well and. . . well, this idea popped out. Once again, I added more drama.
Anyway, that's all for now. Tell me what you think and review ok?