BOOM! Say hello to James Jesse, AKA the Trickster! I got wind of a little thing that my fellow super-people were doing where they were cross-dressing as each other, so I thought I would play along. And good thing too, since I just happened upon a swirling portal of light today in the middle of the shore!

"What is it?" I asked.

"I know! It's one of those light portal thingies that Zoom came out of!" said Terrance, my friend that only I can see. By the way, and I know you're going to ask, Terrance is a Hippo-dactyl. His mom was a hippo, and his dad was a pterodactyl. He's pink.

"What? Who's Zoom?"

"Remember? He's the guy that beat up the Flash and dragged him all around the city."

"Oh yeah." I sighed. Well, we found one of the light tunnel thingies, so we might as well have some fun! Luckily, I had a Flash costume lying around that I bought from Costco during their Flash day sale. Sure, they called the cops on me, but those Costco employees will never refuse a good tip. Anyway, I splashed some black paint on it, glued some blue streamers on it so they'd billow behind me whenever I ran, and I jumped through the portal, and Terrance followed me shortly after.

Blue light sparkled around me and I was thrown back and forth like I was being stuffed in a sack by the Smurfs! There was this weird music that sounded like Taylor Swift echoing around me, but then again, I always hear Taylor Swift in my head, so maybe that was just me. Anyway, it went to black, and I was thrown into some weird alternate earth, where I was thrust off the side of a skyscraper!

I fell through the air, ready to die and have some drinks with the Devil, maybe have a rap battle or something with him, when suddenly, I began to slow down! Somehow, I landed safely on the ground on my feet. Standing in front of me was a little boy, maybe seven years old with a missing front tooth and this cutest little confused look.

"Hi, Mister." The boy said. "You was fallin'. I saved you."

"Why, thank you, little boy." I smiled. He was so cute, I gave him some licorice. "Do you have mind powers or something?"

The little tyke nodded. "Yes, Mister. I move things with my head and I read minds and stuff. You're from Earth-One, aren't you?"

"Well I don't know what all that gobbledy-gook is, but what's your name, little fella'?

"Little Timmy, Mister."

Little Timmy walked down the street, and I followed him. "So, Little Timmy, where are we?"

"This is a different earth that what you're used to livin' in, Mister." Little Timmy said. "For example, here, Donald Trump is the sexiest man alive. Here, the other you is a lot younger, and his name is Luke Skywalker."

That sounded good. "Say, Little Timmy? Are there any supervillains here that I could bring back to my world?"

Little Timmy shrugged. "I'm a supervillain, Mister." He saw my face when I didn't believe him, and then he used his telepathic powers to lift a gigantic skyscraper and throw it right into the ocean! I was totally bringing him back with me.

"Little Timmy, you're amazing!" I beamed. "You want to come back to my earth and cause some havoc?"

Little Timmy nodded. "But first, Mister, I've seen visions of your earth. There are robots coming, aren't there? The robots are only stage one. He sent them there to scope out the place and get it ready for his arrival. Once they're done, he's going to come and take your entire planet, and there will be nothing you can do to stop him. He's too strong for any of your heroes to fight!"

"Well, I don't know what that is, but on my earth, we call that Tuesday night. Now let's go!"

Little Timmy used his mind powers to transport us back to my earth, and blue light swirled all around! I was tossed back and forth, and was knocked onto the sidewalk back on my earth. When I came to and looked up, Little Timmy was throwing innocent folk across the park and collapsing buildings left and right. It was beautiful!

"Wow, little Timmy! You're simply astonishing! I'm proud of you." I smiled, patting his head for a job well done.

Then, of course, the Flash had to run in.

There was a streak of lightning, and suddenly, the Flash was standing in front of me. He sighed, "Really, James? Where did you get the little kid?"

"I'm not James Jesse!" I yelled. "I'm ZOOOOOOMMMMMM! And I totally destroyed you last time!"

Flash pointed at Little Timmy and yelled, "Little boy, stop that! Bad little boy!"

The buildings collapsed on the ground and the people dropped, and Little Timmy turned to Flash. "I sorry. I didn't mean to do it."

Flash picked up Little Timmy and patted his head.

"Little Timmy is sleepy." Little Timmy sighed, and went to sleep. Flash patted Little Timmy's back and scowled at me. "You're under arrest, James. Also, the city has been meaning to demo this area for a while, so really, you just did the city a favor." Flash ran away with my little Timmy, and some cops put cuffs on me and started reading me my rights.

Then, of course, Terrance the Hippo-dactyl, my friend that only I can see, came in and said, "Nice plan, James. You're insane."

Thanks for reading! Be sure to leave your suggestions for who should become who and leave your guesses for who has been sending robots to take Planet Earth...