Dancing with the Dead

Chapter Five

A/N: As usual, this Is not beta'd. Please mind the mistakes and enjoy!

I died a few days shy of my twenty second birthday. The sky was rather peaceful and the air thick with humidity on that warm summer night. Despite the wound to my abdomen, I did not die so quickly. As the waters filled my lungs and breathing was no longer possible, I closed my eyes, prepared for my eternal slumber. I only regretted not being able to see my mother or sisters ever again. I regretted not being able to save Eriol, Yue, Ruby, and the rest of the men on my ship. But at least I would see my father again. I would see her again.

She was the last thought of my life. We met as children, just five years old, when I first came to this town with my father. We wrote to each other. When we saw each other, our happiness was contagious. Our friendship only grew and before I knew it, I fell in love.

She fell ill in the spring of our thirteenth year. I stayed with her that spring, praying to a higher power not to take her away from me. Unfortunately, my prayers were not enough. She had grown weaker, her bright green eyes losing their spark, her auburn hair lifeless, and her skin whiter than a ghost. I held her hand that final night.

"Don't go!" I begged her.

"Oh, Syaoran, somehow this always happens," she told me with a smile. "So I know we will meet again. If you wait for me, we can be together forever."

"I will always wait for you! Forever if I have to! But just don't go!"

"Don't you see? This is only one world, only one version of me. But you'll find me again in another, for as long as this universe turns. Every me will always love every you. Remember that, my clever wolf."

"I love you."

"And I love you, as every me will love every you. Remember."

Her ashes were spread on the shores of Tomoeda, which we used to run across in our youth. When I awoke once more, I walked down those shores again, retracing our steps. Eriol looked at me curiously. I knew he wanted answers, but I had none.

"Are we in heaven?" he asked me.

"No," another voice told us both. "You will be reborn for another world."

"Hello, I am Daidouji Tomoyo, and also Trivia. It's nice to meet you!"

"Tomoyo-chan, you know?"

Tomoyo just continued to look at us with her secret smile. "Of course I know, Sakura-chan. I've always known."

"What do you mean you've always known?" Eriol asked in his pleasant manner. Somehow, he and Tomoyo-chan reminded me a lot of each other. They were always so gentle and good, but there was always a mystery involving them. They also knew how to characterize people. Both of them had similar expressions on their faces; studying their opponent.

"I've always known that I was Trivia, after Nadeshiko-sama's funeral when Sakura-chan came back with that locket. I don't know how, but a voice came into my head and explained it all to me. I then knew what I had to do."

I walked up to her, biting my lip. "Does my brother…?"

She shook her head. "No, Touya-nii-san does not seem to be aware of his powers from my observations, even though he is very much stronger than me. I also didn't feel it was my place to reveal it to him."

I smiled at her in gratitude. My brother was too precious to me, and even if he was gifted with the powers of Ceres, I did not want to put him in any more danger for my sake. I wanted him to lead a normal, carefree life, one that wouldn't be in peril or worry too much about me. Li did not seem to be as grateful. He walked up to Tomoyo, a scowl written on his face, and pulled her up threateningly by her school uniform collar. Tomoyo-chan didn't seem scared at all. Rather, she chuckled and cried out, "Oh my," before glaring at him.

"Li, stop!" I exclaimed, but he ignored me fully.

"I was going to let it go since I thought you were unaware of it, but care to explain that crap you pulled in the underworld?" Li growled at her, but she didn't look at all discomforted. Eriol shook his head at me when I silently pleaded for his help.

"I don't understand your question. I haven't been to the underworld." Tomoyo shrugged which Li did not appreciate.

"You know what I mean!" he roared. "You took Sakura away from me!"

Tomoyo only rolled her large, lavender eyes, treating Li as though he were a nuisance, and not the powerful death deity I had come to know. "It was my job to bring her back. Ceres asked for my help, so I did my part. Besides, even if it wasn't my duty, did you think I was going to just hand Sakura-chan to you? I don't think you're good enough for her."

"You don't understand; she is meant for me, and I am meant for her. I've waited for her longer than you've been alive!"

These words still managed to make me weak at the knees. But with the information of his dead beloved back when he was still alive made me doubtful of his love. I did not want to be a replacement. I was not sure if I was in love with him, but I felt as close to it, and for that I needed to be careful. When he said he loved me, I had to remind myself he was telling it to a face he once loved. I was envious of this dead girl whom he loved enough to use me as a surrogate wife.

"You say that, but have you ever thought of Sakura-chan's feelings?" I had never seen Tomoyo so red in the face, livid and expressive. "You enchant her when she's just a child and vulnerable from her mother's death, and then you take her at just fifteen! She and I are not like you or Hiiragizawa. We haven't roamed this earth for centuries. We have only started living, and we have so much more left to live. Maybe Sakura-chan wants to get married and have children. There's no life in the underworld, no children can be made or grow there! Or maybe she wants to have a career that doesn't involve the dead. Have you ever thought of that? Maybe she doesn't love you."

Li let her go, and while Tomoyo took a deep breath, he stared at me, his eyes peering into my soul. The words had gotten to him, and I could already sense the doubt in his demeanor as he walked to me. With one hand, he caressed my cheek until it fell to my collarbones, much like the time we were reunited during my time in the underworld. It took so much willpower on my end not to return his touch. I was cross with him, but I still wanted nothing more than wrap my arms around him and never let go. Being so close to him, the anxiety that had consumed me was washed away.

Li pulled away first. "I need to go take care of things."

"What things?" I asked desperately. He looked away from me and looked at the school building. His brow furrowed, his handsome face looking as angry as I felt.

"Stuff…things." He turned away from me. In the background, I could hear Eriol scoff while Tomoyo kept muttering unbelievable under her breath. I studied him closely, and I could have sworn to see a faint pink brush across his cheeks. "I will come see you soon."

And in the blink of an eye, he vanished.

Tomoyo, Eriol, and I walked to a café, ditching school entirely. Neither of us were in any mood to sit down in class, and Eriol and Tomoyo assured me that it wouldn't be a problem. I worried about Touya-nii getting a phone call from the school, but after both Eriol and Tomoyo bought me lattes to keep me up and awake, I guiltily forgot about missing classes.

"So who is Mars, exactly?" I asked when I finished the first latte.

"I don't know." "Never met him." Tomoyo and Eriol both answered at the same time. They looked at each other and smiled, Eriol looking at my best friend a bit more fondly than before. Though many females around us tried to get his attention, his eyes barely left Tomoyo, who was coolly drinking her tea. However, I knew her long enough to know that this centuries old deity had caught her hard to grab interest. When she was sure he wasn't looking, she gazed at him with warmth.

"Mars is the deity of war. Normally, he only creates it to reach peace, but this whole trying to capture you bit is new. To declare war on Pluto is not heard of. And Syaoran isn't the sort of guy to want to settle things peacefully if you are being targeted," Eriol explained.

"That's because he is reckless," Tomoyo clicked her tongue in disapproval. Eriol grimaced.

"His heart is in the right place," he defended. Despite not having seen Li in many years, and being frustrated at the lack of contact, it was not hard to see Eriol was very loyal to him. Unfortunately for him, Tomoyo was not as impressed.

"So? He still is only thinking of himself. How dare he try to make Sakura-chan stay with him forever without letting her know anything or asking her what she wants?"

I looked down at my empty cup, unsure of how to take part in the conversation. I appreciated Tomoyo caring for me, and making sure I was happy, but truthfully, I did not know what I wanted. I never planned for my future, but I did not like having it taken away from me. My heart had a decent idea of what—or who—it wanted, but I was too hurt to go after it. All I knew was that I didn't just want to be Proserpina, and I did not want to be taken by some other deity I did not know.

"Then why don't we ask her," Eriol said rather sardonically. "Sakura-san, what do you want?"

I clutched my cup harder; for a moment I believed I would break it. "I want to stay here…for now. My brother and father are extremely worried…but I also want this situation to be settled quickly. I don't want other people or my family and friends to be hurt by this."

Tomoyo grinned triumphantly at Eriol. "Then you will stay here, Sakura-chan."

"Yeah, but does anyone have an idea on how to settle this quickly? We don't know who Mars is, why he wants Sakura-san, or when he plans on making his next move."

Eriol was right. We were so lost on what to do next. Not even Tomoyo could argue or counter with a confident and secretive smile. They both tried giving out ideas, but none of them were of any help. I remained quiet for the rest of the time wondering how my life had gotten as complicated as this, and how much better Tomoyo and Eriol were at dealing with the fact that we were not normal humans. As we sat in that café, I wondered if either one of them felt as helpless as I did.

My evening was spent rather normally in comparison to the eventful day I had. Touya-nii never questioned my lack of appetite, and after dinner, I went straight to bed. Despite the ton of caffeine I consumed, I easily drifted off to sleep, my body and mind feeling heavier than normal. I didn't wake until I felt a warm and strong figure lay on top of the bed beside me. Unlike the hospital bed I was in before, my actual bed was at least a full size, giving him more room to stretch. He still remained close to me, however. My eyes shot open and I turned my body to face him.

"How old do you think I look? Could I pass off as younger than twenty one?" he asked seriously. I propped myself up using my elbows and only stared at him. Of all the things to say to me, I didn't prepare myself for that. My anger towards him from the day had returned. Covering myself with my covers, I turned from him.

He didn't let me ignore him for very long. The covers were blown off of me, and when I glared at the person responsible, he looked back at me incredulously. He snatched my pillow from me when I tried to use to hide my face.

"Why are you mad at me?"

I had prepared for this question ever since I came home. In my mind, I recited what I would say to him as I was eating my dinner in uncharacteristic silence. While I brushed my teeth and washed my face, I had listed all the reasons for why I was so upset with him. However, I didn't take into account of how alluring he was in person. I had forgotten the strength in his arms, and how large his hands were. I didn't remember the intensity in his amber eyes, which were quickly becoming my favorite feature. His overall physique and face left me breathless. I had not prepared myself for him.

I turned away from him so that he wouldn't see my face. It also helped me gain back some of my composure. "Where have you been, Li?"

"I had to go take care of things," he answered just as vaguely as before. The anger came back, and I managed to face him.

"What sort of things?" I demanded, my voice going higher. I had to control my volume if I didn't want to wake my brother.

"Is that why you're mad at me?" He looked at me bemused. "Because I won't tell you what I've been doing?"

I didn't share his amusement. My cheeks reddened at his mirth while his smile began to grow. "No, don't smile. You cannot smile until you see me smile. Then you know it is safe to smile. I am angry with you for more than just your ambiguity."

Instantly, he wiped the smile from his face. "Then what is it?"

Now that he asked, I didn't want to bring up the woman he once loved that died when he was still mortal. Even I didn't know how to bring up such a painful topic. If he didn't discuss it with Eriol, I was not sure he would with me.

"First tell me where you've been."

His eyes betrayed him by twinkling, but the smile was still absent from his expression. "I've been in the underworld and consulting with the Fates and other deities on how to protect you more efficiently. Normally, I would just take you back, but since Ceres and Trivia interfered, I need permission from one of them."

"Stop, their names are Kinomoto Touya and Daidouji Tomoyo. They aren't Ceres or Trivia, they are real people whom I love very much."

He didn't easily respond to that. I sighed and carried out my inquisition.

"And what have you decided then, since you cannot bring me back to the underworld?"

"I have an idea, but it requires some work. I will share it with you once I have details finalized." He looked at me with concern again. "Was that all?"

"No," I responded too quickly. However, as much as I needed to bring up his lover from the past, I felt too anxious to actually do so. I tried to find another reason why I was upset with him. "You didn't contact me. You left me alone and didn't see me at all for weeks. And when I saw you again, you didn't greet me. You visit me and leave me with cryptic warnings of danger coming my way, and then you disappear without a word. How wouldn't that upset me?"

This time, he couldn't resist smiling at me. The very sight of it made my heart somersault, and I had to work hard to refrain from smiling and lose the scowl from my face.

"Is that why you were upset? You missed me?"

"That's not what I said," I said hurriedly. "That wasn't it; I was just concerned and confused…"

It was obvious that I didn't convince him. He continued to smile; the boyish look on his face was so refreshing. He pulled me out of bed and he stood up with me in front of him. I wished we had stayed in bed. His overall physique was even more attractive at full height. It was harder not to be intimidated or swayed.

"I missed you," he spoke softly while caressing my cheek. "I missed you every day I didn't see you. I wanted to hold you close like this. I wanted to touch you, and be with you always. There was not a day I didn't think of you. I am still mad at your friend for taking you away. And I will take actions on those who try to take you for themselves. You're mine, my Proserpina."

I pushed his hand away from me and stepped back. Already, I felt the tears pound, wishing to fall. I blinked to keep them contained.

"I'm not Proserpina. That's not my name. It's Sakura. I'm a real person, and have a real life."

Li shook his head quickly. "No, I didn't say it to offend you."

"I'm not a ghost! I am a real person, who is alive, and I am my own person. I was born Kinomoto Sakura, and will always be Sakura. I am not some replacement or stand in!"

All the mirth from his face vanished without a trace. "Are you still talking about me calling you Proserpina? Because it's starting to sound like you're not."

I looked down so that his eyes wouldn't read me as easily as they normally did. Unfortunately, my tears won out and were silently falling down my cheeks without showing sign of stopping. "What does it sound like I am talking about?"

He stepped towards me. Using his thumb to delicately wipe my tears, he crouched down to face me. "Did you hear something strange that is bothering you? Please tell me. I don't like to see you cry. I don't want to be the reason for your tears. I want to make you smile."

"Do you love me?" I sniffed.

"Of course I love you." He laughed, almost as if the question was too simple. I didn't.

"Why?"

"I told you; you're beautiful and full of life. And you're kind. You make me better."

I bit my lip, hesitant at my next question. "Then, it isn't because I remind you of anyone else? You didn't choose me because I reminded you of anyone else?"

At that, Li swallowed and didn't meet my gaze. He seemed to be pondering over the questions deeply, but he didn't let me step away from him, and he held my hand tightly as though he was scared I would disappear if he let go.

"If I am honest…you remind me of someone I once knew. But that doesn't matter. You're my love."

"Who do I remind you of?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does. It matters to me. How am I supposed to be believe that you love me for me and not for some—"

I didn't finish. His lips captivated mine in a passionate and desperate kiss. Up until that moment, I had never been kissed before, so I didn't have much experience. However, even I knew that this kiss, the way Li was exploring my mouth with an intense affection, was the best I would ever have. There was no fight for dominance like in the dramas Tomoyo and I sometimes watched during the weekends. Instead, there was a hunger from Li, a deep rooted desire that finally had an outlet. I literally melted into his embrace, and his arms were my support. I looped my arms around his neck to hold on to something, and Li helped by picking me up from my bottom. My legs wrapped around him, disregarding that I was wearing one of my brother's old shirt as a nightgown that only went as far as my knees. I found myself kissing him back, unable to resist responding to him. Fireworks seemed to have gone on in my mind. Somewhere, I heard a tiny voice going Oh no, this should not continue. I agreed, but I could not find it in me to stop. The hand that wasn't keeping me up started to travel down my back and under my long shirt, feeling the bare skin of my thighs and lower back. The kisses grew hungrier, and I was beginning to lose whatever willpower I had.

Luckily, Li seemed to gain his, and he let me down practically growling in frustration. "We shouldn't…not now…" He said rather breathlessly, which was close to how I was feeling. I clutched my chest, feeling my heart beat too fast.

"That was…that was my first kiss," I said absentmindedly. When he grinned at me, I blushed in mortification of what I revealed.

"That's good. It was mine, too."

"Liar." The words escaped before I could stop them. Luckily Li's grin remained.

"I'm not lying. When I was alive, I traveled quite a bit. The people in my company were very…open…about certain places we visited. I was asked to accompany them, but I am a bit old fashioned." He grinned so boyishly at me. My heart managed to skip a beat.

"I don't understand what you mean."

"If you don't, that's okay, too." The grin was still there, and it was strange to see him so happy. It was nice to see that I was the root of this happiness, but a nagging voice reminding me about the girl was his past was still in my mind. At least it was somewhat muted. "You should get to bed. You still have school in the morning."

I crawled into bed, pulling the covers up to my chest. "Li, when will I see you next time?"

Li walked to me and pushed my hair behind my ear. I wondered if I was still as flushed as I felt. "Soon. Very soon. I promise. And Sakura, can you do me a favor?"

"Yes?" My readiness was alarming. Soon, I felt there would be little I could refuse of him.

"Just call me Syaoran." He spoke with quiet hope. "Only Syaoran."

"Syaoran?" I tried it out, pleased at how it sounded. He smiled again and kissed my forehead.

"Yes, now sleep. I will see you soon. Good night, Sakura."

"Good night, Syaoran."

He disappeared, and when he did, I easily drifted back into a more peaceful slumber.

Both Tomoyo and Eriol greeted me at the gates at school. After seeing me off, my brother rushed away to his job, having accepted a much earlier schedule as a manga editor. Tomoyo faithfully handed me my second mug of the day, and I began to drink it gratefully.

"You're in a good mood," she noted after studying me. I easily blushed. My brother had told me the same thing that morning. It was hard to shake off his questions; Touya-nii was more perceptive than I gave him credit for.

"What do you mean?" I asked innocently. Eriol looked me over and nodded.

"Yeah, you are in a good mood. You're more cheerful. I expected after yesterday, you'd be a lot more upset."

"Did something good happen?" Tomoyo asked with her trademark smile. My cheeks felt hot as the memory of Syaoran kissing me in my bedroom came to focus. I shook my head to distract myself from the thoughts.

"I don't know what you mean."

Neither of them looked at all convinced, but once we entered homeroom, they didn't question me further. The girls on our classroom were chatting frantically and excitedly, something about a glimpse of a transfer student.

"Another? Just after you?" Tomoyo asked Eriol with a frown. He in turn shrugged.

"I don't know. This is news to me too."

"Alright, everyone, please settle down!" Terada-sensei instructed firmly. "We have another student transferring to our class today. He is from Hong Kong, but knows Japanese well, so don't hesitate to be friendly. Please treat him kindly."

As if on cue, the door to our classroom opened, and no one said a word. He came in with a powerful aura that commanded attention. He looked at all of us with those intense eyes, daring anyone to challenge him. My jaw dropped, and the more I tried to form words, the less I was able to. Eriol and Tomoyo were as flabbergasted as I was. Around me, the girls all blushed at his attractiveness; his tall and toned physique, despite the layers of our uniform, his piercing gaze, and beautiful face structure. My heart beat quickly again, and I knew my pearl had changed colors, though I didn't bother to check. I didn't need to.

"My name is Li Syaoran. Thank you for having me."

Ultra Special Blah Blah Blah: So like I said, school is quickly approaching. I will be starting school next week, and since I will be working and going to school full time, along with working on my own personal writing, the updates for this fic will not be as frequent as they've been the last couple of weeks. I will try to keep it at once a month for updates after this. Also, I want to try to go back and correct the mistakes of this fic along with my past ones, since some (almost all) haven't had a beta. So, I ask this: is anyone interested in being a beta for this fic? If not, that's cool, but if so, that would be a great help. I just need someone who doesn't mind doing a few rereads and has great attention to detail. Please PM me if interested. Thank you! Also, hope you enjoyed and please review!