I could try to explain why I haven't posted since Christmas, the computer broke, family emergency, writers block but you and me both know that it's just damn laziness! I really will try to be more consistent with my updates, I have three more chapters in my notes. But if I yet again go on a huge hiatus, try to be nice, even though I know if the roles were reversed I would be pissed off :P
The New York Hierarchy:
Chapter 2: Airplane Food and Not So Warm Welcomes.
"What we call a beginning is often an end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from."
T.S Eliot
"I will have the chicken salad, skins off and the fruit salad please" Kurt said handing the menu back to the air-hostess.
"No fruit salad" She snapped in a thick Russian accent.
"Okay then I will have the bannofie pie"
"No pie"
"Okay what do you have?"
"Pudding cup"
"Or?"
"Pudding cup".
Right on schedule another hostess walked past carrying a tray of fruit salad.
"Look there is fruit salad"
"You in first class?" She said one eyebrow raised.
"No"
"Then you will have pudding cup"
Giving up Kurt sent the lady away.
"Bet you wish you brought your own snacks now." Rachel said smugly.
She took out a blue Tupperware box from her bag and opened it to reveal a green goopy substance with chick-peas scattered through it. It looked like vomit, or mashed up alien, Kurt thought.
Chortling at his own genius he opened his laptop and logged onto his email account. He spent a few minutes looking at some emails, until he saw one email from a very important sender.
"Sam just emailed me" Kurt said breathlessly.
"This is the same Sam you were in love with since freshman year. The same Sam who never gave you a second glance. The same Sam who is in a serious relationship with your friend Mercedes."
"Yes" Kurt said quietly
Rachel let out a sound that seemed like a cross between a snort and a laugh.
"You can be really funny sometimes"
"No, look he actually did look" Kurt said clicking into the email.
Kurt Hummel is cordially invited to the joyous union of:
Sam Evans and Mercedes Jones
19th July 2012,
McKinley Church,
Please see this happy couple into the start of their new lives.
There was a pregnant pause as Kurt digested this information. After he finally composed himself he planned to break the silence with a sarcastic comment, but one look at Rachel's pity-filled face he broke down into tears.
Not knowing what to do Rachel pulled him into a hug.
"There there" she said patting his head not unlike the way you would do with a dog.
Her attempts seemed to have the opposite of the desired affect causing Kurt to cry even louder. He was starting to sound like a dying whale. People were staring and the Russian air-hostess was giving Rachel a dirty look that Voldemort would have been proud of.
After a few minutes Kurt's crying ceased to be more of a whimper.
"You deserve better Kurt," Rachel said "you really do. I mean come on they're getting married the minute they got out of high school. They are going to crash and burn faster than Russell Brand and Katy Perry."
"It's still too soon to joke about that" Kurt mumbled.
"Kurt they used e-vites as their wedding invitations, it's plain tacky."
"It is tacky" Kurt agreed.
Wiping his eyes Kurt got out of his seat.
"I'm going to clean up in the bathroom."
Rachel wrinkled her nose.
"Ew"
"I know, but what choice do I have?" Kurt grimaced.
Smiling Rachel dug into her food.
Neither of them had the best of luck with love in Lima, maybe New York will be different Rachel though. With renewed hope Rachel finished the goop.
After ten minutes Kurt emerged from the bathroom and went to his seat.
"What the hell is that?" Kurt asked disgusted looking at his tray.
"Well the delightful Russian lady said there was no chicken salad either so you get a pudding cup and a mince taco" Rachel smiled.
Kurt peered closer at the food
"I don't think that's mince!"
"Ladies and gentleman fasten your seatbelts we shall be arriving at New York soon and thank you for choosing Skybus Airlines."
Resisting the urge to squeal looked over at Kurt who was barely containing his glee. He squeezed her hand.
"Lets do this bitch." He said laughing.
Just then the airplane gave an almighty lurch and finally landed in the ever famous concrete jungle.
Rachel's first impression of New York was, rain. The minute she set foot out of the airplane the heavens opened up to unleash a deadly downpour. Pulling the hood over her head she raced inside and watched with a hint of amusement as Kurt struggle to open his Gucci umbrella. After a minute of struggling with the delicate contraption he gave up and sprinted inside. Rachel had to stifle a giggle. His usually meticulously styled hair was flattened on his head and his man-liner was dripping down his eyes.
"How bad is it" Kurt asked attempting to look at his reflection in the window.
"It's well…very different" Rachel said uneasily.
"Oh dear God" Kurt said struggled to wipe of the eye-liner stains.
A raven-haired boy burst through the door drenched from head to foot. Rachel and Kurt turned to stare at him as he tried to dry himself off. After a while the boy looked up to see two pair of curious eyes staring at him.
"It's raining" the boy said in sad attempt erase the awkwardness.
Rachel was the first to speak up.
"It definitely is raining. We never had it this bad before in Ohio. But in the style of Ms Barbra we shall not let this "rain on my parade""
She thrust her hand out
"Rachel Berry and you are?"
"Blaine Anderson" he said shaking her hand.
Blaine looked at Kurt expectantly. Rachel looked at him to see a glazed look in his eyes. Knowing he was in trouble she gave him a swift nudge in the ribcage.
"K-Kurt Hummel"
Smiling Blaine shook his hand. It took all of Kurt's strength not to whimper.
"So what brings you here?" Blaine asked.
"We are moving here from Ohio, do you know any good hotels Kurt could stay for a while."
Smiling Blaine said
"Let me be your guide"
In one hour Rachel, Kurt and Blaine were packed into the back of a taxi as Blaine and Rachel chatted about New York and Kurt was as silent as a mute with the occasional tight-lipped smile.
After a while Rachel felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She fished out her ancient (or "vintage" as she liked to call it) phone from her pocket.
From;Kurt Hummel
Wat wil I do?
From;Rachel
About what?
From;Kurt
BLAINE!
From;Rachel
Um..talk to him
From;Kurt
R u crzy? I cnt tlk 2 him?
From;Rachel
Cant you speak in proper English please? I can just about understand you. Also aren't you supposed to getting over Sam? Remember him?
From;Kurt
But dat isn't makin Blaine any less hot.
From;Rachel
Really focus on his he wont seem so perfect, thus making you less intimidated.
From;Kurt
HE HAS NO FLAWS!
From;Rachel
Imagine them.
Using Rachel's advice Kurt turned to Blaine.
"So, um w-where's the best place to get your average hazelnut, soy latte?"
Grinning Blaine launched into conversation with Kurt.
As they talked Rachel looked out the window.
She could see the top's of some skyscrapers. Pigeons were scattered everywhere like unwanted confetti. Buskers were all over the place. The streets infesting with social engagement. Smiling she looked around. It was just how she dreamed it would be.
The taxi dropped her off at a huge apartment block. Judging by the people walking out the door this place wasn't cheap.
Just then a plump red-faced lady stormed out of the building clutching her over-stuffed bags close to her chest. She wasn't looking where she was going and whacked right into Rachel spilling all the contents of her bag onto the grubby pavement.
"Never again, never again." She mumbled.
Rachel bent down to help her. The lady jumped reacting to Rachel's touch.
"Are you okay?" Rachel asked
"The Fabray's, they are demons, I hope they rot in hell."
The lady stood up and collected a colossal amount o phlegm at the back of her throat and throwing her head back she spat in front of the building.
Shocked Rachel asked
"Well, they cant be that bad. Well I hope they are not because I have just got a job with them."
The lady took one look at Rachel and burst into a fit of derisive laughter.
Backing into the wall, Rachel stayed there until the lady had long gone.
Taking a deep breath, Rachel pulled herself up to her full height and walked in the door.
The first thing that caught her eyes was a huge, intricate chandelier. She pulled her head right back to take a full look at it. She stood there for a few minutes watching the crystals sparkle in the light.
Suddenly a hard shoulder collided with her back sprawling her onto the floor. She looked up into the warm amber eyes of a very handsome man.
"I am so sorry" the man apologized helping her up on her feet.
The minute his hand touched hers her legs turned to jelly.
"Whoa, you okay there?" He asked supporting her back with his arm.
"Uhn nyun hum" was all she could string together.
"Oh crap, you're not concussed are you?" he asked concern filling his perfect eyes.
A little eight-year old girl walked past and muttered
"Get a room"
Embarrassed the man pushed Rachel back into standing position.
"Finn Hudson" he said smiling.
"Rachel Berry" she said thanking her lucky stars she could talk again.
Finn chuckled.
"What?" Rachel asked.
"It's just, Berry. It's a cute surname, like a strawberry, or a raspberry, a Rachel-berry."
Rachel was indeed living up to her last name, her had deepened to a ridiculous shade of red.
"Well…I like Hudson too. Its very, um ,burly"
Rachel stared at the glistening marble floor and missed the look of confusion that crossed over Finn's features.
"Anyway I hope you are feeling better Rachel. I better get going" Finn said flashing an adorable crooked smile.
He touched her shoulder lightly before walking away.
Rachel stood there with her hand slightly raised with her goodbye still hanging on her lips.
Rachel looked over at the grandfather clock in the corner of the lobby. Seeing the time she quickly jumped out of her trance. This was not a time to be day-dreaming about boys. Well not just yet anyway. She ran to elevator and pressed the up button. She waited impatiently in the elevator, tapping her foot anxiously in time to the tinny elevator music. She went over her plan one more time. First impressions were everything. She had to present herself in a polite, upbeat, positive manner.
The elevator doors opened to reveal a huge, lavish apartment. The elevator actually opened into the apartment, 'very impressive' Rachel thought. She stepped out of the elevator clutching her pink suitcase very tightly in her hand. The goldish marble was so shiny it was as if se was walking on ice. Red curtains draped the long windows and vases of deep red roses were placed on every intricately decorated coffee table. Rachel ran her hand over a shiny brass doorknob, suddenly she heard a small cough. Whipping her face around she found herself facing a stunning Latino lady wearing a very provocative, very tacky maid outfit.
"You Rachel Berry?" she asked brusquely.
Taking a deep breath Rachel smiled and thrust her hand toward the Latino.
"Terribly sorry you seem considerably more acquainted than me. You know my name but I am not in the knowledge of your."
"Who the hell are you, Julie Andrews?" she asked smirking.
Embarrassed Rachel stared down at the floor.
"Santana Lopez" she said.
"Okay so I think that is everything in the house. There is a map in the basement if you need it. Now I just need to fill you in on the family. First off there is Quinn Fabray, she looks like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth but trust me she has a temper that she doesn't use sparely. If you cross her path she will manipulate you until you have lost the will to live."
Rachel allowed herself a small smile.
"I'm not joking" Santana snapped at Rachel before she continued
"Then there is the oldest daughter Carrie, but she moved to New Jersey a while, hardly ever comes to visit. There is Judy the wife. She will welcome you with open arms say that you are part of the family, do not believe a word of it. She is one of those people who still live in the Medieval times and believe it is their right to abuse their staff. Put one toe out of line and she is the living incarnation of Medusa. Finally there is Russell. He isn't around much, he is either all 'caught up' in work or he is fucking the entire population of Manhattan. He is the reason we wear these ridiculous excuses for uniforms. He is constantly tying it at the maids, he says he likes a challenge so I am telling you know to stay away from him.
This place is a mess, a warzone. My advice is to keep your head down. Don't talk to them, don't even make eye contact. You might find yourself caught in the crossfire."
Santana finished looking at Rachel expectantly waiting for her to say something but Rachel was speechless.
"Alright Bambi, meeting in basement at five, your uniforms in the bedroom, get changed and come down." Santana said walking away.
In ten minutes Rachel walked down the stairs nervously tugging at the hem of her skirt.
The basement was pretty dingy. The mustard yellow wallpaper was rotting and peeling away. There was a battered maroon couch with a chunky patchwork quilt thrown over it, an athletic-looking blonde was sitting on it, sorting socks. A tiny television set was playing a CSI re-run which a tall Asian boy and a smaller blue eyed boy were watching intently. Another Asian, this time a female was sitting on the tumble dryer watching the two boys with a small smile in her face. Santana was by the stove heating a pan of water. No-one seemed to register Rachel's appearance. Rachel made a small cough. Still no-one heard her. Rachel inhaled again to cough but a huge chunk of dust entered her throat along with the air causing her to cough, gag and subsequently fall on the floor.
She had now caught their attention as they all gathered around her, apart from Santana who was watching this scene unfold from the stove.
"Stand back everyone, I know CPR" the blonde girl said, fiercely brushing her hair away from her eyes. She bent down beside Rachel and started to blow into her nose.
"Um, Britt?" the Asian girl said cautiously "I don't think that's how you do it."
"Does anyone else know about first-aid besides me?" 'Britt' said heatedly "Tina trust me the unicorn told me to breath into the persons nose, tickle their feet and whatever s choking them will come out of their belly-button."
"You didn't try that method out on anyone yet did you?" the Asian guy asked quietly.
"That's stupid" the Tina shouted.
"Anyone who knows anything knows in the Battle of the Pixies and Leprechauns the unicorns made a first-aid station." Britt shouted right back as she leapt to her feet, Rachel forgotten.
Britt and Tina continued to shout leaving Rachel coughing on the floor. Finally deciding it was time to intervene Santana pulled the two girls apart and made sure Rachel had not choked to death.
"Alright" she sighed "who wants to go first?"
The two girls started talking at the same trying to explain each other to Santana while the two boys tried to conjure up their own version of the scene.
"Alright everybody SHUT UP" Santana screeched.
They all snapped their mouths shut and listened.
"This" she said pointing at Rachel "is the newest maid, so everyone, meet Bambi."
"My name is actually Rachel" she piped in quietly.
"No one cares" Santana snapped "Now Bambi is supposed to be staying with us for a year but lets face it she's not going to last a day."
"Hey" Rachel said, a bit ruffled "I can be tough when I feel the need."
They all looked at her and simultaneously burst into peals of laughter.
Crossing her arms Rachel looked at them disapprovingly. She was laughed at twice today and she never liked it when she was the butt of a joke.
"Anyway," Santana spluttered after she finally stopped laughing "welcome to the Fabray's."
Rachel spent the rest of the night chatting with everyone. She found that Tina was the cook along with Brittany. The Asian boy was Mike Chang and he was butler, the other boy Rory Flanaghan, who was Irish, is the errand boy.
After a while the conversation turned to their employers.
"So tell me more about the Fabray's" Rachel asked.
"Well I'm guessing Santana gave you the jist of it" Tina said.
"Yea" Rachel sighed "They seem pretty bad"
"You and Santana get it the worst, as the two maids" Tina said smiling teasingly at Santana.
"I've been through worse" Santana grimaced, a dark shadow of pure anguish flashed across her face, only for a millisecond but Rachel caught it. Santana quickly excused herself, and sped from the room.
Puzzled Rachel turned back to the conversation at hand, an uneasy feeling settling in the back of her mind.
Santana raised her hand and knocked on Russell's door.
"Come in" A gruff voice mumbled.
Santana slowly opened the door, her dust-pan clutched tightly in her hand.
"Glad to see you again" Russell smirked, sprawled across a large leather sofa that was beside his bed.
"Wish I could say the same" Santana said, overplaying her grimace causing Russell to grin to widen.
"So where's the missus? Came to senses and cut your balls off with a razor?" Santana asked.
Russell let out a big exasperated sigh pressing his two index fingers on his temples.
"She always makes a big song and dance over the smallest of things" he said.
"You cheated on her for the eighth time, this time with a small, plump middle-aged maid." Santana said accusingly.
"Wow, judge much?" Russell smirked, arms raising in mocking surrender.
"Well its not like you left the toilet seat up, as much as I hate her, and believe me I do, she has the right to be upset. Aren't you worried she may never come back?"
"Nah, she'll come back. If there is one thing she hates more than me, is poverty. If she doesn't stay with me who will pay for her ridiculous shopping expenditure?" Russell said bitterly.
Santana let out a snort of derision.
"Also" he said resuming his joking tone "She just cant resist my charms."
"You have as much charm as Bin Laden." Santana smirked teasingly.
Russell threw his head back and gave a huge big laugh. He got up from his seat, walked right up close to Santana. He stopped when he was right in front of her face, his cold grey-green eyes staring into her deep, luscious brown eyes.
"You" he said caressing his arm down her arm "You are really something aren't you? Tongue as sharp as a knife, never afraid to say what you feel."
He snaked his arm around Santana's waist and pulled her in closer. To Santana's horror she found herself melting his arms. When he leaned in to kiss her she turned her head sharply pushing him away.
"Rape is a serious crime in all fifty states" she said, her weak attempt to hide her desire was transparent.
Russell pulled Santana into him again and whispered into her ear
"Don't pretend you don't want this as much as I do."
Santana shuddered at the feel of his warm breath against her neck. Giving in she grabbed him around the neck and locked her lips onto his.
The next morning Santana woke up in his bed feeling even more lonely and lost than she felt before.