A/N: Sorry it took so long. I've been super busy lately, but I promise I won't abandon this fic (just as I haven't abandoned all my other unfinished stories. I promise!)

Chapter 2

Olivia sighed. "No, you're not fine." She stated matter-of-factly. "You haven't been yourself in weeks, Alex! Something's been going on. At first I thought it was nothing. Then I thought you'd tell me when you're ready. But truth is, I'm no longer sure about that. I'd never make you tell me anything you're not ready to talk about. And if it's just about me; if you don't want to tell me specifically, I can get you help. The only thing I'm asking you to do is to stop denying something's wrong. We've been standing in your goddamn hallway for the past half hour, Alex! I guess it's fairly obvious you don't want to let me in – literally and figuratively. And you don't owe me an explanation. I just want you to know that I care about you. I'm here for you. All you have to do is stop shutting me out, Alex."

Olivia's words felt like a punch in the gut. She had noticed! How could she have noticed? Up until the coffee mug incident today, Alex had really thought she had been successfully keeping up appearances. Of course it was true what Olivia was saying: Alex had been jumpy and exhausted and different lately. And it was also true that she had been hiding, had secretly been falling apart. But the worst thing about it all was that she didn't even have the right to...

Desperately trying to suppress the familiar sting of tears in her eyes left Alex incapable of any type of verbal response, but Olivia wasn't ready to give up yet.

"Please talk to me, Alex", she pleaded softly, and the gentleness in her voice broke Alex's heart. She couldn't let all these overly dramatic scenarios rummage around in Olivia's head! Not if they were completely inaccurate. Gathering all the courage she had, Alex even managed to look the detective in the eye. "I promise it's not what you think, Liv!"

This time, it was Olivia who didn't respond, and Alex had watched enough suspects and witnesses being questioned to recognize the tactics behind it: Olivia didn't want to interrupt her but get her to start talking. And the most annoying part was that it worked: No matter how desperately she was trying to suppress it, Alex did feel the need to elaborate on what she had just said.

"I flinched when you touched me. I dropped my coffee mug. I pushed you away. I think I even screamed. And then I just froze before I started trembling and eventually ran out of the precinct although it was the middle of the day. I know what it must look like to you." But she couldn't let Olivia think that! After all, it was her own damn fault, so she didn't have the right to lead Olivia to believe she'd been raped. They shouldn't even be having this conversation!

Alex fell silent, yet again avoiding her friend's gaze.

"Alex?" Olivia said softly, gently encouraging her friend to continue. And after a while, Alex did, but her voice was barely more than a whisper.

"It wasn't rape"
"If this it where you're at right now, that's perfectly fine..."
"No! No, it's not. You're making it sound like it's just some stupid process that I'm going through right now - some psycho bullshit about the steps from denial to acknowledging what happened. But nothing actually happened, Liv, okay? NOTHING!"

Olivia was caught off guard by Alex's outburst – this was by far the longest utterance she had heard the blonde had make since "the incident" this morning, and Olivia was fairly certain it was also the first time she had ever heard Alex curse. Even Alex herself seemed surprised by what she had just said. And there it was again: This panicky, shameful look on her face. Their eyes met again for the last time before Alex finally averted her gaze for good.

"Liv? I need you to leave. Please leave."
And a fraction of a second later, Olivia found herself standing in the outer hallway again, wondering what the hell had just happened.