*KABOOOMM*
Cough Cough Hack Hack...
Even though Fetch wore a cloth screen over his mouth and nose, the dry dust still managed to irritate his lungs. He knew that Hoaglie was correct, and he should have waited further back, but he was eager and hopeful the last explosive charge would crack the dungeon below. He wanted to be ready for whatever evil would crawl out of the floor to challenge him. Fetch waited in the dust, while the experts determined the success of the last blast.
"By Moradin's beard...what is this shit?", asked a frustrated dwarf.
They had spent the entire morning blasting away , deep underneath the sewer . It was loud and obvious, but fortunately not unusual. Hoaglie's uncles had been blasting and clearing debris in the dark tunnels for almost a year now, mainly to increase the sewer's capacity for the growing city, the noise they made this morning was much greater then normal but not unusual. Fetch hoped that their scheme would go unnoticed. Surry's scheme seemed to go as planned . Bribe Hoaglie and his uncles to get them close to the mysterious dungeon, then use enough of Henrietta's dragon powder to blow through the walls. Thus passing the magical gate and any key they would require. So far, their efforts have been in vain.
"I don't think this is going to work. ", said a disappointed Hoaglie , examining the unscratched floor. " This green rock , ...its like adamant ore. Maybe harder. We can't even scratch it. If we apply any more blasting, it might weaken the passage, and bring the whole thing down on our heads. Then we have to clear the rubble and shore up the supports."
Fetch wasn't sure what he was talking about, but his defensive mechanism kicked in. He slowly nodded his head and pretended to agree with the dwarf.
"Are we through ?", asked Surry as she brushed the dust away from her face.
"No dice, sweet cheeks.", smirked Hoaglie.
For some reason, Hoaglie's familiar tone he took with Surry really annoyed Fetch. He realized that she was just being overly friendly to the dwarf to enlist his aid, but despite this he still did not approve. It seemed ridiculous but he wasn't sure if it was parental protectiveness, or the fact he really didn't trust the dwarf. Even though they paid him several thousand gold, Fetch suspected he was selling them out to Zahzon.
"What is this stuff?", asked Surry as she marveled at the unscratched floor. Henrietta entered the blasting area, carried by Vanna. She caught the last question but shrugged. The alchemist had no answers.
"It's obviously magical. Nothing seems to affect it. Not even steel picks, or dragon powder.", puzzled the wizard.
To emphasis the point, Vanna protracted adamant spikes on her boots. The golem then began to stomp heavily onto the ground, but did not manage to scratch the floor. Fetch was a bit taken back by the force and savagery of the golem's blows. It would be a vicious tactic if used in a real fight.
"Over here...", said Tyris through the settled dust. Fetch made his way through the rubble and saw the bard sitting on a rock . Unlike everyone else , which was covered in a fine film of grey dust, her armor was spotless. She pointed at a rubble strewn wall.
Fetch examined the wall and shrugged, "What am I suppose to be looking for?"
Surry made her way to the pair , and looked blankly at the wall as well. She noticed the spotless bard, and intoned a simple cantrip on herself. The dust on her elven traveling garb disappeared. She did the same spell on Fetch and Henrietta as well.
"Thank you.", said Fetch, "Do you see what she's looking at?"
Trip appeared suddenly out of the dust, and began prodding the rocks. He shrugged as he discovered nothing useful.
Henrietta stared at the wall, and nodded,"There's illusionary magic at work here. Although I can not make out what it is. There is definitely something hidden there."
Dietrch and Hoaglie made their way to the small group, to see what was going on. Surry removed the dust from those 2 as well.
"I like a woman, that knows how to clean.", smiled the dwarf. Surry shook her head at the dwarfs attentions. " My dwarven senses detect something here, but I can't figure out what it is."
The group took turns prodding the rocks, under the eye of Tyris who sat on a rock with her knees folded to her chest. She just pointed at the rocks wordlessly, as they attempted to figure out what they were dealing with.
After several minutes Fetch threw his hands up. " Anyone have eye ointment? I have a spell that can help but its so costly . Let's me see true or something like that, I've never casted it before because the ointment costs more then a heavy chariot."
Surry shook her head, she specialized in mostly destructive spells and had few utility enchantments. Despite being a wizard, Surry's spell selections was generally quite focused. If it didn't help her destroy her foe she didn't need it.
Henrietta indicated she didn't as well. The spell they required was beyond her capabilities. She felt overwhelmed but exhilarated at the same time. She knew the company she was currently with was vastly more powerful then her , but she enjoyed the fact she was contributing in some small way to these "mighty" heroes.
"Errr...I think I can help.", stuttered Dietrch.
The group stared at the knight , as he turned red from their attentions. He took a wary step towards the rubble but stopped. Tyris appeared behind the knight and gently pushed him forward. He resisted briefly , but the bard's smile gave him the courage to continue.
"Ok, promise me you guys won't laugh ok?", said Dietrch as he advanced towards the rubble.
Everyone in the group except Vanna and Tyris collectively shrugged at the knight's suggestion. They weren't sure what was exactly going on.
Dietrch looked at the group , a cold sweat formed on his brow. He looked back at the smiling bard and took a deep breath.
Suddenly the knight began to skip and prance in a circle. Despite his rugged and dangerous appearance, he was quite graceful and eloquent. He started to chant in a strange tongue, in a musical and high voice. Finally he twirled and spun in the air landing swan like with a flourish.
"You're a Fey?", asked Fetch, unsure what to make of the whole dance. He wanted to consult Baalphzon but he placed the imp on baby sitting duty . Despite the imp's protests , he was fairly good at handling Hush.
"Oh , I didn't see that coming , but that would explain a lot.", chuckled Surry." His weapon resistant skin, his strange magical powers, even his youthful and handsome appearance. I think he's not a full blooded fey, more like a half fey or something like that. Don't let Pixietrampler find out Dietrch, or you're gonna get stomped. "
"Yes, Yes...the secret's out .", sighed the agitated knight . "I was found as a baby tied to the wreckage of a ship. Presumably my father was charmed by an ocean spirit. I assumed he drowned as he embraced his "lover". My mother obviously had no intention of raising me, so left me to the care of the villagers. Its something I'm not really proud of or bring attention to , but like Surry said , it has come in useful. Ahh...there its working."
A faint outline of a door appeared over the rubble, and it slowly solidified into a elegant green stone arch. A barrier of carved vines still blocked the entrance though. Dietrch stepped back, wondering how different his companions would treat him now. Tyris gently patted his shoulder , and the knight seemed to find solace in her support and approval.
Surry examined the arch. "There's some runes here..obviously elven, but I can't make them out. They are of an ancient script that is archaic and old even for my people. I'm not familiar with its patterns. "
"Hanali Celanil...", Fetch said before anyone could reply.
As he spoke a face suddenly appeared atop the arch. Its voice was both serene and musical. "Correct human born...This is the shrine of Hanali Celanil, elven goddess of beauty and grace. The shrine is part of the Temple of the Baboon and requires the seal of the baboon to enter."
"I'm not even gonna ask where you learned to read that.",said Surry as she glared at Fetch, she then turned to the portal "Well I guess we're back to square one. We still don't have a key to enter."
From the discussions they had earlier with Yasmina, Fetch knew that the complex they were attempting to breach was the called the temple of the baboon, and the key they required was some sort of stone seal. Only a few seals exist, one of which was locked away in the "Great Vault".
Dietrch backed away, but Tyris stopped him again. He sighed and nodded at her.
"Heed my words portal. Although I do not possess the seal of the baboon I am graceful in form and movement. ", the knight twirled and skipped to demonstrate. "As the guardian of the shrine of Hanali Celanil please grant me passage."
The face stared at the prancing knight and nodded, "Enter"
Dietrch kept dancing and seemed to walk through the portal. The stone vines twisted out of his way but reformed after he passed. The group stared at the portal, but then the knight danced back to the tunnel.
"What the hell was that !", demanded Hoaglie, "That was the gayest thing I ever saw. Hmmm...Hey Dietrch was it? How'd you like to fight in the arena. We could call you Gorgeous Dietrch , the crowd would hate it! Which means they would bet like crazy against you!"
Dietrch considered the offer," If you can arrange a meeting with Champion Ulla , I'll do it...Errr I'm a big fan."
Hoaglie nodded at the thoughts of the profits,"I think we can come to some sort of buisness agreement ..."
Fetch walked towards the gate vigilantly but the face above the portal spoke ,"Turn back human born, you are strong of spirit but foul in form and movements."
Fetch stopped and considered its words, "I think it just called me ugly."
Surry laughed," It's obvious, Hanali Celanil is the elven goddess of beauty and grace. It serves to reason that it would allow those fair of form to enter . Dietrch and his fey good looks qualify and your ugly mug is a definite no go."
The elf chuckled and walked towards the gate but the portal declared,"Turn back daughter of elf and man, your form is barren and not pleasing, also your demeanor is as cold and bitter as your homeland."
Surry grew red , and fired a black ray at the portal . The portal easily dissipated the energy as the wizard angrily stomped back to Fetch while grumbling, "I'm a wizard, of course my dump stat is charisma..."
Henrietta attempted to enter but the portal simply spoke, "Begone gnome born! You wear too much makeup and your nose is too big. "
Trip tried but was given the rebuff," We do not take wood and metal abominations."
Hoaglie tried to enter for fun to see what his rejection would be but remarkably the door's reaction was not harsh, "Though your tongue is normally enchanting enough to allow entry, your form displeases the goddess."
Tyris attempted but the door laughed, "The goddess favors bards, but only competent ones. Your form is plain and your features are too hard and angular, away with you!"
The group stared angrily at the door and then at themselves. Rejection by a door based on your looks was disheartening.
Fetch sighed, "I think we need to regroup guys."
"That's the dumbest thing I've ever seen and I've seen a lot of dumb things!", fumed Surry. "Who heard of a door that allows only the beautiful to enter. It's like elf school all over again. I hated elf school . Where the empty headed skanks got courted all the time, and I had to wait at home during the fall dance, because no one appreciated my wit or intelligence. Even stupid Agni got to go to the dance, but did anyone ask me...noooooo...I'm too skinny...too intimating...too smart for those empty headed elves. Well I hope their all wallowing in their poverty now. I'm the treekeeper now! I'm important now!"
"Yes , yes , we know all know how great you are. The mighty treekeeper that's still single and lives with her father. Are you done ranting?", asked a bored Baalphzon.
Surry grew red and wanted to destroy something, but sat bitterly instead in her chair.
"So let me get this straight.", asked the imp." This portal will only allow good looking people in? or those with the key or seal or whatever it is?"
Fetch nodded,"Yeah , I was hoping we could get a few more people through the barrier. They could find the seal and open the door for the rest of us, but right now it would be too dangerous to just send Dietrch in ."
Henrietta raised her hand, "Does this beauty shrine have something to do with the people kidnapped?"
Fetch scratched his head,"I'm not sure ...does it?"
Surry had calmed down sufficiently and replied,"Yes it does. I wasn't sure at first, but this confirms it. The elves that disappeared, the humans targeted by the carriage, even the prisoners that are given to the evil under the city, they all have one characteristic in common. They are all considered very attractive. I wasn't sure at first if the evil below was just being picky, but the discovery of this shrine certainly confirms my suspicions. It makes sense though, if the sacrifices could be anyone, it would be easy enough to make 20 vagrants disappear, but if they require that they posses a certain degree of attractiveness then that makes Kerr's jobs a lot harder."
Baalphzon laughed,"Well, the good news is, besides Dietrch here, none of you have to worry about being kidnapped and sacrificed. BWAHAHAHA "
The imps humor drew only grim stares from the gathered adventurers. All except blanked faced Vanna, nervous Dietrch and impassive Tyris glared at him , unamused.
Dietrch stood up, "Despite my unfinished quest, I will brave the dungeon by myself if I have to . The thought of 20 fair maidens a month being captured to be sacrificed is an insult to my knightly honor."
Trip corrected the knight, "Maidens and Lords, the evil does not seem to care what gender they are. "
Fetch waved the knight to sit,"No need for suicidal heroics. Let's think this through. Surry, Henrietta...can we use magic to enhance our looks to enter? Even temporarily? I can cast a spell that makes me as splendid as an eagle or something like that, but I normally don't ready that prayer. Like what's so splendid about an eagle anyways? Feathers? Are feathers sexy or something?"
Surry nodded, then hesitated, "I'm not sure, but judging by the magic we already encountered, even if you pass the beauty "threshold" to be allowed in, once the spell wears off I'm pretty sure you will be ejected again. However, you are on the right track I think. We just need more permanent ways to boost our beauty or charisma if you may."
"If you need a small team to enter, maybe you can ask some of your former companions to enter. Some of them might qualify , and I'm sure this dire situation might convince them to aid you.", yawned Baalphzon.
Fetch's mind was confused by both suggestions. He calmly nodded and acted like he understood. "Ok, that sounds good. "
Surry saw through his weak ruse, "You have no idea, what I just suggest do you? We can attempt to craft magic items to increase our charisma , or even buy some if you can find a reputable dealer in town. We might need other means to boost our charms as well, if a shrine of Hanali Celanil is near, there should be a magical pool of some sort that would also increase our looks. I doubt its in the shrine, the goddess is normally free with her gifts. Most likely in the nearby woods."
Fetch looked at Surry inquisitively recalling Tyris's dramatic transformation before the fall festival ,"There are items that can make us look better? Like super make up or something?"
Everyone looked at Fetch in surprise,Trip was the first to respond."There are items that can can increase all your attributes, for example Frank's belt of strength. I have gloves that increase my aim. Henrietta wears a circlet that boosts here intelligence."
Surry nodded," I would have one too , but until recently I was monetarily challenged."
Dietrch and Tyris shook their heads indicating they had no items of that sort.
Hoaglie rolled his eyes, "No comment."
Fetch pondered this, "Ok , I'll put Surry and Henrietta in charge of getting these items. I'm assuming they are expensive, I might have to fight in the arena to make some more money or something, Hoaglie can you hook me up with some high paying fights?"
Hoaglie nodded, and was glad he decided to sit in this meeting.
"Tyris and Trip, you two are good at finding stuff, take Dietrch along and see if you can find the location of this beauty pool or whatever it is.", continued the cleric. The three nodded at his suggestion.
"Baalphzon you mentioned our former companions. I think that's a good idea. Some of them are ...um a lot better looking then us, Brita definitely . ", said Fetch visualizing Surry's beautiful mother.
Surry sighed, "Yes Brita, you can also try Frank...he's handsome in a rugged way... I hate to admit it but give Agni a shout. I don't know why , but he was always popular with the girls despite not seeming to care about them. If Clovis is available you might give him a shout, despite his extra girth hes a charming man. "
"Ymir is kind of cute.", piped the imp as the group stared at him, "WHAT are you looking at me like that for? I'm just stating she's cute!"
Fetch sighed, "So let me get this straight, of all my companions I chose to travel to Lower Lueders with. I picked the ugly half?"
The next month went by fairly quickly for Fetch. Between his patrols, fighting in the arena , visiting the tiefling orphanage as his alter ego, putting down minor baboon demon incursions, and of course taking care of his daughter, the cleric had little time to plot against the evil beneath the city. Fetch was thankful that Yasmina helped managed his time and affairs, he would be lost without his assistance. Fetch's arena fights were a big draw and earned Insector a fearsome notoriety. Unfortunately , his patrol coincided with the Grand Champion Tournament. Fetch bowed out , but the crowds were infuriated that he chose not to fight. In the eyes of the masses, he cowardly avoided his comeuppance . Despite the crowd's obvious hatred of him, the tieflings at the orphanage loved him . His strange mask , his skill at magic , and the fact he spoke abyssal and infernal reinforced the idea he was a tiefling in their eyes. Fetch would take Hush to the orphanage a few times so she could visit her old friends. She seemed to enjoy it, but due to her silent nature his secret identity was never revealed. Not that Fetch minded, he didn't really care for his guise, but thought it nice some small group besides Tyris and Surry actually cheered for him. Lady Wayland wasn't impressed with a bloodthirsty gladiator visiting the orphans at first, but she conceded that it brought smiles to their normally dreary faces. Despite his busy schedule , Fetch was happy. His relationship with Tyris was stronger then ever. Taking care of Hush gave them something besides love making and killing to bond over. He knew their relationship was ridiculous , even absurd, but they were a pretty strange couple to begin with. He was just glad that things were working out.
Baalphzon had Surry and Fetch cast several spells to send short messages to his old companions of their current dilemma. Despite the disappearance of most of the northern mists, travel and sending spells still worked sporadically at best. He only received a reply from Frank. It was a nonsensical answer though , something about riding dragons , wish you were there. Even though the first snow had fallen, Baalphzon employed couriers to deliver messages to Ymir, Brita, Clovis, and even Agni. Fetch wanted to send something to his son, but once again his lack of his funds hampered his attempt. In the end, he sent one of the swords he won as a side prize in the arena to him. Even though Surry acted like she didn't care much for her brother, she tried to send some money to her brother in secret. The imp easily discovered this and told Fetch. Spying and squealing were second nature to the ranks of the infernal. With the messages sent and his couriers on the way, Fetch could only hope some assistance would arrive soon.
Surry was kept busy constructing headbands to improve everyone's strength of character and good looks, or so she claimed. In actuality Surry spent most of her time tending her tree, while the gnome did most of the construction of the circlets . Fetch was dubious of these devices. They were apparently different than illusion items or items that changed a persons shape. Henrietta explained to him that it improved a person's personality, personal magnetism, ability to lead, and appearance. The cleric thought that something that changed a person's personality was akin to brainwashing. He wanted his circlet to favor more the appearance changing and less the personality affecting .
Surry basically told him, that an increase in one's charisma didn't always lead to a change in one's appearance. She used a simple analogy to explain. Take two of the most famous leaders in history. Monte Nabisco and Bruce McDunn. General Nabisco was famed for his good looks while Knight Commander McDunn was known more for his strength of character and willpower. Both were equal at their ability to command their troops. Fetch still thought it would be better to have Monte "Good Looks" then Bruce "Charisma".
Dietrch fought some matches in the arena , to the delight of Hoaglie and the anger of the crowd. The dwarf insisted that Dietrch wear an outlandish elf outfit and prance and skip before every fight. The northern warrior was reluctant at first, but agreed when he realized it was the only way to meet the Grand Champion Ulla. With Fetch bowing out the day of the Grand Championship due to a patrol , Dietrch took his place, but was pummeled viciously by the Grand Champion. It was a miracle he wasn't slain, only his Feyish heritage prevented him from dieing. The fact Yasmina shrieked and ran into the arena to assist his "man" off the field infuriated the crowd some more.
Tyris ,Trip and Frieki scouted the woods around Lower Lueders. The forest near the city was a vast . It covered nearly a 1/4 of northern Grom, and was rumored to be filled with ruins, monsters, and bandits. The entire expanse was ominously called the Devil's Forest, but the town elders cleverly renamed the area closest to town , the Green Forest, to promote trade and settlement. The trio and sometimes Dietrch systematically explored the woods from the southern area clockwise to the northern region. They would return with warped baboon and wolf skulls as proof of the danger the woods still hold. Once they brought back a pair of giant penguin heads. Trip stuffed and mounted the pair and placed them on top of the manor to ward off evil spirits and burglars. The two giant fierce birds of prey were good at their job, too good. Fetch's manor was soon known as Penguin Manor to the locals.
Hush seemed to adapt to her new home quite well. Despite her shyness she warmed quickly to Fetch and Tyris. Baalphzon told the cleric that she had Tanarii blood in her, despite this he didn't seem to hold a grudge against her and did a remarkable job of taking care of her when Fetch and Tyris were away . Even though she had a chaotic bloodline , she was well mannered and seemed to enjoy making new friends. Fetch and Trip built and furnished her a room, but she had a habit of sneaking out and climbing in his and Tyris's bed at night. She seemed well adjusted but Fetch noticed she would often stare out the window wordlessly at passing carriages . She also seem to shiver when Tyris or himself had to leave. The young tiefling grew at a remarkable rate, it seemed she aged an entire year in one month. Fetch was at first concerned and wondered if it was a side effect of the demi planes he created. When he brought it up to Lady Wayland, she assured him that tieflings aged in a chaotic manner. Some aged very slow, some very fast , some at varying rates.
Hush was quite talented and seemed to catch on quickly to whatever was taught her. Fetch and his companions delighted in teaching her a little of what they knew and enjoyed the fact she was able to mimic their skills. From Fetch's prayers, to Tyris's acrobatics. Trip's marksmanship and Dietrch's sword play. Hush was a fast learner. Even Hoaglie was charmed by her and taught her how to make book, and spot easy marks. Surry was against this though, she wanted her sister to enjoy her childhood, she didn't want Hush to grow up into some strange wierdo that was raised and taught by adventurers. Fetch scratched his head, he had no idea what she meant.
At the end of the month, Fetch realized they were no closer to entering the Temple of the Baboon then they were earlier. There were no more reported carriage attacks, but Fetch knew sacrifices were still made. He had Yasmina keep tabs on Kerr's prisoner procurement, and she told him that Kerr's truce with the evil below the city was still valid. The cleric wondered why he made it his business to stop this. The city seemed to be prospering , all seemed to be well. He should be enjoying his new found peace and family. Was 20 people a month worth the peace and stability it brought to the city?
"It's your business because you know it isn't right, and you have the ability to do something about it.", said Tyris unexpectedly as the cleric was lost in thought.
Fetch marveled at how well she could read his mind sometimes. He nodded at the bard, and vowed to make this city safe for his family and his friends. He would not rest till this evil is vanquished.
"Hey I can read your mind too. All I see is a big idiot trying to play hero, in way over his head. You realize whatever it is that's down there is strong and powerful enough to give Kerr pause , and is rumored to be able to subdue gods", projected Baalphzon.
"Thanks for ruining that moment.", sighed Fetch mentally.