"What are you doing here?", asked the wet and surprised cleric.
"What am I doing here? What are you doing here?", replied the fighter.
Fetch and Frank both laughed and exchanged a brief hug as they greeted each other.
"I ..ummm... parted ways with my adventuring group recently and came to Lower Lueders looking for you guys. Didn't find any of you actually. Everywhere I asked, they said you were gone, missing, vamanos! A big red woman who apparently worked for you , said you've been lost in the woods for the last few weeks, but apparently wasn't too worried. So I came mucking around looking for you. All we found were large camps of those demon chickens and Xill guys. We would have passed over you , if Galatea didn't detect strange magics in this area.", explained Frank.
Fetch remembered Henrietta mentioning a time distortion , and wondered why it didn't affect everyone else. Maybe it did. He was the last one to use the pool , it might have been likely they all exited at different times. If they exited at different times, did the chuul or lady Kirrin pick them off one at a time?
Fetch scanned the water, but despite the clearness of the lake, he knew it was hopeless to find corpses in it. He morbidly pondered that if they did died in there , they were mostly likely devoured by the lobster creature or buried in the silt.
"What'cha looking for?", queried Frank.
"It sounds stupid, but signs of my companions. ", replied Fetch grimly .
As Fetch scanned the waters, a light fingers touched his shoulders. Fetch wanted to wave Frank away, but realized it was much too light to be a tap from the the large knight. He turned and saw a smiling Tyris, who quickly stole a kiss from the surprised cleric.
"Tyris! You look different...hot even. ", greeted Frank in surprise.
"Lady Tyris , its good to see you. Please forgive Frank's lack of manners", said the formerly silent sword at the knight's side.
"Galatea, Frank, Molly...its good to see you all.", replied the bard.
"Is everyone OK? errr no one got chomped on by mutant lobsters did they? ", asked Fetch . He suspected they were fine if Tyris was here, but asked to make certain.
"They are . This place is not safe though, let me quickly explain . When we exited , we appeared at different times. Fortunately I left first and was able to assist the others as they departed. The girls came came out relatively close together, under a days wait. The guys appeared at various times during the next week. I suspected you were delayed the most and waited for your return.", replied Tyris.
"Hush! Who's watching Hush?", exclaimed Fetch.
"I've been taking care of her mainly, but Trip , Yasmina and Surry help out as well when I'm not there. She's grown quite a bit while you were gone! She asks for the "Silly man!" all the time.", Tyris beamed.
"Wait...how can you be watching here and taking care of Hush ? The city is pretty far away from here. At least a full days journey.", asked Fetch.
"Shadow walk.", explained Tyris. Fetch just nodded his head, pretending to understand.
"Who's Hush?", asked Frank.
"Oh, that's my daughter. We adopted.", explained the cleric proudly.
"Sweet...I'm happy for you . And that was the name of the red chick that helped us. Yasmina. I'm pretty sure of it. ", said Frank.
Fetch raised an eyebrow,"I'm pretty sure Yasmina is a man...the voice throws people off sometimes."
Frank smirked at his friend, "Yeah right...a dude with big red breasts out to here.". He said holding his hands out in front of his chest.
"The efreeti maiden we met was masked by an illusion. Even though I do not allow Frank to wield me , I impart several beneficial spells on him. Including one that pierces through illusions. ", sighed Galatea. " I'm surprised the high cleric of Rawk hasn't detected it yet."
Fetch looked at Tyris and remembered she mentioned something similar. The bard simply smiled at him.
"Wait...did you guys assault the Temple of the Baboon while I was away? What happened to the three prisoners we freed?", asked Fetch attempting to divert attention away from him.
"The elf recovered the quickest. She went kind of crazy and left. I followed her back to the woods. The other two eventually recovered as well. Unfortunately for Dietrch, Ulla thanked us and left before he returned. We did not assault the temple. Surry said you would return in a few weeks. Speaking of which, she's gone missing again. Dahana reported she was on Pixietrampler then suddenly faded into the astral . We're not sure where she is, currently .", explained Tyris.
"Dahana ? The sexy devil woman? The one we captured from Duke Ari?", asked Frank.
Fetch looked at Frank in surprise,"I'm surprised you remembered her name, and yes the one we captured from Ari."
Frank winked at his friend,"Hey, I might not have a good memory, but I'm a regular Porlock when it comes to remembering babes."
"We should return to the manor immediately, we have much to discuss and plan.", ordered Tyris. She waved Molly closer and grasped her reins and Frank with one hand , and Fetch with the other. Immediately the 4 were shunted into a grey shadowy plane.
Fetch was a bit confused as he stared into the plane. It looked like a mirror image of where he was, except colors were muted and distances seemed distorted. Even Frank and Molly seemed like distorted shades of themselves. Although Galatea was fiercely glowing in this dimension her light wavered and fluctuated in the shadow. Tyris however seemed unchanged in this dimension. If anything she seemed to belong here, thought the cleric. He wasn't sure, but he felt the entire plane bend to her will.
"Lets go, we can avoid the Xill, the town guard, and the eyes of Zahzon .", smiled the bard.
"Nice swanky place you got here . I like the penguin motif. Gives it a high class atmosphere, at the same time maintaining a lunatic warlord's edge. ", marveled Frank as he walked through Fetch's manor. Due to financial and time constraints, Fetch hadn't kept the place as well as he liked , but the opulence and trophies of the manor was still a marvel to behold.
"You have done quite well for yourself, Warmaster. Unlike some people I won't care to mention.", coughed Galatea.
"Hey. We were doing the crusading thing. Crusaders don't get paid the big bucks, ya know. ", defended Frank. Galatea was about to mention Frank's speech 6 months ago about liberating loot and damsels in the crusade against Ogremoch, but held her tongue. She had already won the argument.
"Frank?...what's wrong with your neck? It looks crooked.", asked Fetch. The cleric hadn't noticed Franks slightly odd angle neck at first, but now that he saw it, he couldn't keep his eye off it.
"Oh...I was going to ask if you could do something about it. To answer your question though, my head got chopped off.", shrugged Frank.
"What! How did that happen?", gasped Fetch in amazement.
"Meh...Remember Tank? He did it. But it wasn't like he kicked my ass or anything. I let him do it.", explained Frank , matter of factly.
Fetch was about to comment on the absurdity of his statement, but Frank and his brothers were all absurd to begin with. He grasped his friends neck , and said the prayer of regeneration on it. Instantly the neck was healed, save for a slight scar.
"Ahh ! Good as new! Thanks buddy ! You're much better then that Roland guy.", smiled Frank. At the mention of his name, Tyris turned away. Fetch glared angrily at Frank, but the knight did not catch the hint. He began to speak more of Roland, but fortunately Galatea silenced him and made him sit as the guests arrived.
Baalphzon arrived first, and landed on Fetch's shoulder. He nodded at Frank and Galatea. "I knew you would return master, I just didn't realize it would take so damn long. "
"Captain Fetch ! We missed your leadership! ", exclaimed Trip as he entered the room on a now pony sized Freiki. The warforged saluted the cleric.
Vanna and Henrietta entered next ,"Surry she's missing! I don't know if she's been abducted, or her horse took her away on some merry adventure. ", cried the gnome.
Dietrch and Yasmina entered next. Despite Galatea's control over the knight. Frank still managed a wink and a smile at the young Yasmina. Fetch's aide turned and giggled slightly, much to the chagrin of Dietrch. Dietrch glared at the strange knight with the ornate armor, but held his tongue. "We were worried for you Captain, but Tyris assured us that you would be fine. Fortunately she was correct." , said Yasmina.
Finally an alluring young woman in a dark dress , with pale skin and long bluish hair entered. She flashed a seductive smile at the knight who instantly responded by standing up and bowing.
"Hush?", asked Fetch in amazement.
Tyris seemed displeased and walked up to the woman and removed a hidden circlet from her head. She instantly transformed to a gangly young girl around 12 years old. She looked similar to before, but with small horns, and 2 sets of vestigial bat wings. More importantly she appeared more as a child, then a young adult.
"Aww, I was just playing, ", pouted the girl . She then turned to Fetch, "Daddy! "
Fetch was surprised at her appearance to say the least. He was at first wary of her, but his reservations quickly disappeared when his daughter hugged him . This was the Hush he remembered he thought gladly.
After the reunion, Fetch stood up. "Hey guys, sorry to be late. Had a chat with the goddess and she says its alright if we entered her shrine. Guess we don't need the circlets, but they could come in handy. This is my good friend Frank by the way. Some of you have already met him . He was one of the people I sent a message and requested aid from and it looks like he finally came."
"Hey everyone, I'm Frank and don't mind me, I'm just passing by visiting. Also I didn't get any message.", interrupted Frank.
Fetch looked at Frank and wondered if he was jesting. He recalled getting a message back from the knight, so the messenger did meet him. He wondered if someone tampered with the message. It would explain why his other friends and allies had not come as requested.
"Well, let's get down to business. I'll bring Frank and Galatea up to speed here. Basically there's an evil under the city , the goddess Myleka. Besides sending demon baboons and capturing men and women, apparently she's abducted some lesser deities and demi gods and is draining them of beauty or something. So far , no one can touch her since her fortress is sealed by powerful magics. However, we got a back door invitation from our own goddess . Although we are unsure of Surry's fate, I think we should go in and start killing stuff without her. If she's been abducted we can rescue her, if she's off on one of her little side quests, well we can't do much about that.", shrugged the cleric.
"Can we handle this, without mistress Surry? ", asked Henrietta," I'm sure your friend Frank is a great warrior, but can he replace the Treekeeper?"
Frank laughed."HAH! No offense, but comparing Surry to myself is like comparing B-string lemball players to the Mighty Zug. No one here but Fetch can match my adventuring awesomeness. Well maybe Tyris, but other then her, I'm the top dawg, the alpha male , the big kahuna, the grand poohbah of adventuring.", boasted the fighter.
Dietrch seemed to take exception at the braggart knight, but Trip spoke first. "Surry's gotten real powerful since you last saw her. She may be as impressive as her mother now."
Frank slapped his knee and laughed again,"Magic or breast size? HAH! I doubt breast size, but I apologize. From the expression on your faces, you guys seem to big Surry fans. Fear not, a little bit of the famous crab wit, and my slick fighting moves , and you'll all be begging for my autograph or lining up to be my groupies soon enough."
Fetch waved his friend to be silent. "Before we continue, I talked to the goddess Hanali Celanil . She told me that the foe we face is very , very dangerous. In fact she told me, according to the prophecy, we would not be able to slay her. The best we could do is hurt or injure her. So please consider this before I get a commitment from you to enter the Temple of the Baboon."
A silence filled the camp.
Dietrch was the first to speak," Sure I'm in."
Frank said," Count me in."
Tyris stammered," I have no plans at the moment. Of course I'll go with you , till Surry returns ...if that's all right with the rest of you."
Henrietta stared at the rest of them and then relented with a sigh , " Ok...ok...someone has to keep an eye on you guys. Count me in...and Frank weren't you just going to pass by?"
Vanna shrugged, "This all seems strangely well practiced.", she noted.
Fetch stared at the Troglodytes blocking their path. The tunnels that Hoaglie and his uncles blasted clear a few months ago had been recently occupied.
Troglodytes. Stinking, barbaric , troglodytes. He fought one in a mud pit in the arena once, and did not wish to repeat it. Even though he won, the stench and the humiliation of mud wrestling with a troglodyte was a great burden on his ego. Surry had teased him constantly about it.
Despite living in Grom for a year, the strange lizard creatures were still an oddity to Fetch. In the north , he met a few under Mammoth Keep. His group quickly dispatched the smelly scaled humanoids , and he thought no more of them. However , in Grom they were treated similar to demi humans. Of the races in Grom, dwarves were the highest strata, due to their wealth , military and organized cities . Humans were next due to their vast numbers, and merchant skills. Halflings and halfelves were close behind, due to their peaceful nature and charismatic natures. Normal elves were next because of their propensity to poverty. Although repulsive, troglodytes were a distant 6th. Finally even though drow or dark elves were technically elves, they were a shunned 7th. Lastly were the lowly tieflings. Their fiendish natures, made them all but unemployable, except as adventurers, bandits, or prostitutes. They were not even allowed in the military, unless they took pains to hide their heritage . There were other minor races like asimar and lizardmen, but they were normally lumped into the races they resembled , much to their chagrin.
Although Baalphzon was not from Grom, he was a quick study. He noted that throughout the greatwheel, Grom was the only civilized nation he had encountered with Troglodytes . They were most often shunned or enslaved in the underdark or lived in forgotten ruins. Their alien nature, and their repulsive smell, made them difficult if not impossible to deal with. The imp explained to Fetch, that a great prophet of the Troglodytes , led them from the swamp around 150 years ago, to live in peace with the humans. The grommers seized on the fact they were cheap labor and they lived in the most marginalized areas. Where there was profit to be made, Grommers were there.
The group before Fetch , had apparently applied to City Hall to inhabit this area of the sewers. They paid rent, and kept the area relatively clean and free of dangers . In return they were granted nominal ownership of this area of the sewer.
Baalphzon explained to Fetch that they could ask the city to grant them passage , but that would mean tipping their hand to their enemies. Fetch knew that both Zahzon and the minions of Myleka were keeping tabs on him . He had little choice but to negotiate with these smelly beasts.
"What's the hold up ?", asked Frank,"Their just trogs...we use to kill these guys in Mammoth Keep. Remember Bartog paid us for their heads, and paid us again to get rid of their smelly skulls? ...those were the days..."
"Let's try to do this with as little killing as possible?", replied Fetch. He turned to the blockers, and saw that a particularly large and smelly specimen had pushed his way to the front. His odor was burning the hairs on his nose, and the cleric was sure he would have to regenerate his sense of smell afterwards. Most of his other companions seemed affected as well. Surprisingly Trip and Vanna seemed repulsed as well. Only Baalphzon seem unaffected. Without Surry here, he had doubts he could successfully bypass them with magic. He had doubts that magic could evade these creatures anyways since this entire area was protected from travel magic.
"No pass! Snog says no pass!", exclaimed their brutish champion.
" Listen...Snog is it? ...we have to get past...we'll pay for passage? Gollllddd...sillllvvverrr...shinnnieeessss.", explained Fetch slowly.
"Snog no like you! You talk slow...try to make us look stupid. Snog has lots of treasure...Snog no need yours! Me call guards, throw you out of sewer! ", said the Troglodyte .
"Hey I'm a Captain of the Guard! We have urgent business , so let us through !", demanded Fetch.
"No ! Guard not come down here. Snog never see guard come down here. Not even patrol. If you have business, you have papers...show Snog papers! Or me get real guard !", threatened Snog.
Fetch turned to his companions, Tyris was gone. The others seemed to be reeling and suffering from the stench. Frank mouthed to Fetch, "Let's kill them.", but the cleric shook his head. He was one of the good guys, he would not bully and kill these creatures just because they were in his way.
"Look...Mr Snog. We got off to a bad start, I'm not sure if you understand, but you know this entire area is a reclaimed elven ruin right? We discovered an entrance to a dungeon months ago, but its in your territory. We need to get to it, it poses a threat to the entire city. If you don't want money...we could offer magic items...or maybe something else you require.", said the cleric in a defeated tone. Treating these trogs with a measure of respect seemed unnatural to Fetch, but he had no choice unless he wanted to resort to violence.
The troglodyte stared at Fetch intently,"Me no want your stuff...but me know who some of you are...you warmaster...small woman alchemist...Walrus knight...Crab knight... me think you adventurers..."
Fetch sensed he was making some headway with Snog, " Ok...you know who we are and what we do... what can we do for you , so you'll let us through?"
Snog grinned, rows upon rows of jagged teeth showed. "Snog not happy. Bad Trogs in pit, not worship Laogzed, not follow teaching of McGubbin. New Church of Sib..sib...shiblant beast. You get rid of them, me let you pass."
Fetch scratched his head, " Hmm...I'll get back to you ."
Fetch returned to his companions and explained the situation.
Frank shook his head, "Let's just kill them, and get done with it. We're in a sewer for Rawk's sake, who's gonna know? Since when did you get all goody two shoes?"
Fetch shrugged,"It might come to that. I wanted to resolve this peacefully, but I have no intention of doing this heinous deed for them. I think its excuse enough for us to wipe them out. They want us to destroy a church because it disagrees with them. I can't think of a better excuse to force our way in."
Dietrch looked confused, "As much as I hate to say so, but it sounds like a plan. Lets get this over with. The longer we stay down here, the more this stink will cling to us."
"I'm in favor of any plan that includes bloodshed and mindless violence.",grinned Baalphzon.
"I'm new to this, so we'll just do what you guys do.", said Henrietta , indicating she was speaking for Vanna as well.
Trip simply nodded, while eying the shadows of the sewer.
"Wait,wait...", interrupted Galatea, "The new church of the Siblant Beast...thats the reformed church of demogorgon...". The sword said in a hushed tone.
"Whoa, they want us destroy a reformed church even? That's even worse. I knew these guys were up to no good. Lets kick their assess !", said Fetch more confidently.
"Fetch? You're joking right? Your the high cleric of Rawk, and you still don't know who Demogorgon is?", questioned the elvish blade.
"Errr. demo...a free sample...gorgon...a metal bull...some guy that gives his followers free rides on a warforged bull? ", replied Fetch," You think we should get some free rides as well for taking these guys out? Kind of like that free pool swim in the elvish shrine. Do you think it will help our chances in the temple of the baboon?"
Everyone stared at Fetch .
Galatea spook first,"Ok Fetch , I want you to answer some questions for me. Answer as honestly as possible, no one will think you're a fool. First ...Who or what is Orcus?"
Fetch thought a second then replied," A term orcs used to be inclusive. Orcs...us... "
Galatea continued, "Tiamat?"
Fetch smiled, "Oh that's easy...its one of those statues that you add the special moss mixture to and it grows in a few weeks. The tea-a-mat...is the model shaped like a tea pot. You put the seed mixture on it, and a few weeks you get a fuzzy tea pot. I saw Lord with the sheep version a few years ago. the merchants had a catchy jingle.. Ta .. ta .. ta .. tia! "
"Dispater?"
"Oh, oh ...I know this one. The guy that directs the drivers at a carriage company."
"Hades?"
"Hmm...That's slang the kids are using ...for example Hey Dees... pretty sure its a greeting of some sort."
"Boccob?"
"One of those vegetable hybrids? Its a cross between bok choy and corn, I think. I'm not really sure on that one , I'm just guessing."
The entire group stared at their "leader".
Baalphzon raised his hands defensively, "Don't look at me, I didn't tell him to say those things. Even thought he's a cleric, I can confirm that Fetch has not focused any of his skills on religious lore."
"Hey! I know that look...that's the "You're a fool look". You said "I wasn't going to be a made a fool of !" ", defended Fetch. "Its not like any of you guys know the answer to those questions. Why am I being singled out!"
An unsteady silence filled the corridor.
Tyris appeared and placed her hands on Fetch's shoulders to comfort him.
Fetch shot the group a defiant look,"Look so this Demogorgon is a bad guy I take it, and I guess his church isn't nice either. But hey guys...this is the REFORMED church of Demogorgon. How bad can it be? I'm pretty sure they don't do anything the regular church does. I say , lets give them a chance, they are obviously trying to change their ways. Who are we to judge them, while they are actively trying to change others perception of them?"
"I knew he was "eccentric" but I didn't realize we were following an idiot till now...", whispered Henrietta to Dietrch.
Frank defended his friend,"Hey now. Even though it appears Fetch hasn't used any of his skill points, that doesn't really matter . Its his feats that are important !"
The grouped reluctantly nodded,"Yeah I guess you're right. Feats are more important then skills, except the odd prestige class or prerequisite .", agreed Dietrch.
"Did you guys sniff some of that demon chicken stench? You guys aren't making any sense here!", questioned the cleric suspiciously.
Frank stopped and eyed his friend,"We're talking about your feats. You know what we're talking about right?"
Fetch nodded,"Yeah , I had this talk with Surry before. My feet are fine. She apparently has special elven feet or something, lets her do meta magic and stuff like that. I only have 2 regular human feet. All they can do is allow me to walk."
"Hmm,dash and run? All humans start with two feats. What did you do with the rest of them?", asked Henrietta.
"Who's the idiot now? What are you drunk? I only have two human feet. Just like Frank.", stated Fetch proudly. He was glad someone else looked foolish for a change.
"Technically, I only have one human feat. Everyone starts with one, and I get one for being a fighter to start. Right now I have like 18 feats.", replied the fighter staring in shock at his friend.
"Wow, 18? I only have 8 , not including the lame ones I automatically learn.", said Dietrch in amazement.
Fetch stared at the two then shifted to look behind them, he saw no outward signs of mutation . Perhaps they had small hidden limbs like his daughter Hush. They might be hiding them under their armor. "Look guys, if you have...a demonic taint...I'm not sure I can cure it, but I can try. We can saw them off and I can cast regenerate or heal for you."
The room fell silent.
Galatea spoke first,"We aren't talking about your feet here...we are talking about feats. F-E-A-T. Your specialized abilities that sets you apart from other clerics. "
Fetch shook his head, "I have no clue what you guys are talking about."
Baalphzon sadly nodded, "Its true, I knew you all suspected it but weren't sure till now , but I'll admit it finally ...my master is an idiot."
"Hey , he might be an idiot...but he's our idiot!", smiled Frank .
The group performed a lightning raid on the "Reformed Church of Demogorgon" . The temple was lightly defended, but despite its "Reformed" designation it had signs of bloody sacrifices and mutilation . A stench of evil confirmed the profane nature of the shrine. Frank took special joy vanquishing the babau demon guardians. He curiously looked into mid air as he slew the last one.
"This one is for you Hank! I Frank Spanked it. ", the knight said proudly to his unseen dead brother.
After the guardians were slain, and a few vagrants were rescued , Henrietta promptly destroyed the supports to make the destruction of the church seem like an engineering problem. The group then returned to Snog's tunnel to once again seek passage.
Snog seemed happy at the group's success and promptly allowed them passage. He even offered an escort of his finest and smelliest warriors, but Fetch politely declined. Citing the dangerous nature of their journey as an excuse.
Dietrch guided them to the gate, but it was curiously visible and open. Fetch distinctly remembered the gate disappearing when they left last time. When the goddess allowed them entry, did she allow everyone entry? Did some troglodytes wandered in ? Was the element of surprise gone?
Dietrch seemed curious as well, he examined the open portal and then nodded to Fetch.
Fetch readied his hammer, and walked through. The Temple of the Baboon was finally breached. For months , access to the temple had been denied to him. Win or lose, the final battle would soon be fought.