A/N: Although most of your reviews addressed something along the lines of: "Come on, tell us what happened and stop teasing!", I'm afraid I'll have to keep doing that for at least another chapter. In my defense: It's not like I haven't been giving you guys any cues whatsoever... And the ones of you who read the A/N for chapter 5 know that my main goal is not to just throw some dramatic facts out there, but to depict and explain Alex's internal struggle, her feelings, fears and thoughts...

Pain is subjective, so for some of you, the reason for what's going on might not be a reason at all. What matters, though, is that Alex is hurting. She's scared and ashamed. So let's give her a little more time until she's ready, okay? :)

Chapter 10

Why did Alex keep apologizing for reaching out to her? She had told her a million times that it was okay! Olivia sighed. Maybe it took a million-and-first time...

"Alex? Look at me. You didn't do anything wrong, you hear me? I'm glad you came here tonight. I'm here for you. I don't know what it is you're going through right now, but you're not alone. You don't have to be alone."

Alex turned away, futilely trying to hide her tears. "I don't know what's wrong with me, Liv. I-I shouldn't have... I shouldn't... I-... " She choked out a hiccuped breath, and Olivia was worried she'd make herself sick if she kept breathing shallowly. "It's okay" She soothed gently. "There's nothing wrong with you. You're hurting, and you're reaching out for help. You don't have anything to be ashamed of"

"Don't say that!" Alex shuddered, her friend's words bringing back memories she wished she didn't have. If only Olivia knew...

"Why?" The detective asked gently, but Alex dismissed the question with a head-shaking. Hastily, she got up, headed towards the door. "I better leave. I'm sorry for-"

"Don't!" Alex froze, and Olivia briefly glanced over to the clock on her living room wall. 00:48 a.m. "Alex... I'm not comfortable letting you leave like this. It's late and it's cold outside. And... you're upset." She paused for a second. "Why don't you sleep here tonight? Please!"

Their eyes finally met, and Olivia couldn't help but associate the look on Alex's face with a deer caught in the headlights. The brief flash of panic in her friend's eyes broke her heart.

"I'm not going to let you run away again, Alex. You don't have to talk to me if you're not ready, but please... no more running!" Alex gulped. "Oh—okay" She whispered resignedly, immediately lowering her gaze.

"I don't have a spare room, though, but I'll take the couch. Let me just change the sheets in my bedroom for you, ok?" Alex vigorously shook her head.

"I can't"
"Why not?"

Alex dismissed her friend's question with yet another head-shaking.

"Alex?"
"I can't" The blonde repeated. "I... I can sleep on the couch. I'm okay"

Olivia bit her lip, eventually deciding not to push it. "Okay. Let me grab you a blanket and some sweats to sleep in" She declared casually and ran off to her bedroom, hoping Alex wouldn't take advantage of her absence and run.

When Olivia came back, she indeed couldn't see the blonde, and a loud sigh escaped her throat. That was when she heard someone move, and she was surprised to find Alex was kneeling in front of the couch. It took Oliva a few seconds to realize she'd been looking under it. Alex jumped to her feet and avoided her friend's gaze, clearly embarrassed. "I... I was just... I..."

"It's okay, Alex" Olivia hesitated, unsure whether she should call her on what she had just witnessed. She looked down at the blankets and clothes she was holding and eventually dropped the pile on the couch. "There's a spare toothbrush in the bathroom cabinet and I've laid some towels out for you. Why don't you just go change into something more comfortable? I'll be in my bedroom doing the same. If you need anything, just let me know, okay?"

Alex nodded shyly, grabbed the sweats Olivia had brought her, and ran off to the bathroom to change. She flinched when she saw her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were red and puffy, and smudgy traces of mascara had dried on her cheeks. God! She looked terrible! Absentmindedly, Alex grabbed a tissue to remove the remains of her make-up, then washed her face several times just to kill time.

When she finally emerged the bathroom, Liv was already sitting on the couch, and Alex couldn't help but feel weak, inferior, pathetic compared to the other woman. Although Liv, too, had changed into her pyjamas, she still looked badass. Strong. Confident. And Alex hated it. This wasn't the precinct. This wasn't SVU. This was Olivia's living room. And then there was this look on her face. This Everything-will-be-okay,-you-can-trust-me, I'm-not-going-to-hurt-you kind of look. Why couldn't she just drop this caring, pseudo-professional act? Why couldn't she just leave her alone?

"Stop treating me like I'm one of your victims, Liv!" Alex spat out angrily and gasped at Olivia's gentle response:
"Are you sure you're not? Because what I'm seeing is telling a different story, Lex."