Deadpool laid on top of a building watching the stars he couldn't believe the turn his life had taken. Only a few years ago he'd been a simple mercenary with a wife and kids then "Hey writer I'm pretty they already know this part."

Deadpool! I'm trying to give them backstory.

"Okay how about I give them the backstory? Assuming I'm remembering this right I had a wife a kid or two was a retired mercenary. Then I got diagnosed with cancer and Hydra offered me a cure then my life went to shit because Kilgrave used his powers to make me kill my family and then I arguably went bat shit crazy. Also I think I implied I'm Jessica Jones younger brother." Deadpool then turned to face the reader "Oh really like they can see me! Fine I'm turning and I'm supposed to say…" Deadpool looked at a piece of paper that detailed what he was supposed to say "wow really? You really are original okay guys here I go. Spoiler Alert. That is about the Jessica Jones thing in case you were wondering."

Any way back to the story Deadpool since regenerating from a single cell after said cell had been blown off of Hive had been going through an understandable identity crisis his real memories started pushing through to the surface and he went even more crazy. He spent a good while reinventing himself and finally became well you get it by now I'm sure.

Now Deadpool was in England on a job which he had just completed but he'd come across some troubling news "Fitz how could you do it…" He muttered depressed.

Deadpool for obvious reasons was depressed he was out of work because the mercenary season as he called it was over. On top of that he'd been Facebook stalking his old team members and felt lonely. However, his concern for Fitz outweighed his loneliness.

He took out his cell phone and checked Fitz's twitter. The team had various cover identities and used social media for well understandable cover reason Though for Deadpool they were very easy to find and what Fitz posted only a little bit ago truly troubled him. After climbing down onto the street he hailed a cab and got into the back seat.

"Where to my friend?" The Cabbie asked.

"To the airport amigo."

"So what are you up to?"

"Oh you know trying to find work. The only problem is nobody is really hiring right now you know they make my job seem glamorous in the movies but there is all this bull shit I got to put up with. Like last week I got hired by Hydra to take out Captain America and do you know happened? The guy who hired be gets fired and replaced and suddenly killing Cap isn't the top priority. So they sent someone to kill me! Can you believe that shit? The only reason I took the job is because the people in Hydra who fucked my life are dead but that is the problem with corporate jobs there is a constant change in management."

"Um… wow." The Driver honestly didn't know what to say. He pretty much felt Deadpool was insane.

"Well it's not something I can do about now. Right now I'm focusing on stopping this guy I use to be friends with from making the worst decision of his life. I am supper disappointed in him right now. Of all the impulsive decisions he goes and does this. Can you believe it?"

"What decision?"

"Sacrificing his balls to a she-devil."

"Wow really? What kind of woman is she?"

"Oh the worst kind! She strung him along for years! She never treated him right. I mean he is like a poor abused puppy dog. So I'm staging a mantervention slash bachelor party. The poor guy pined after her for ten fucking years! Do you know what it took for her to take him seriously? The two of them being dropped in the ocean and him getting brain damage just to save her and do you know what she did? The Bitch thanks him by leaving him! I mean yes I dropped them in the ocean I broke his body but she! She! She crushed his soul. Yet somehow I get all the blame I think if he wasn't such a bitch he'd have better luck getting respect from women. That's what this mantervention is about teaching him to act like a man and to see he deserves better than Jemma. Or at the least I hope to show her that she could easily lose him if she's not careful.

"Have you ever been in love? I've been in love three times. The first was my wife whose now dead. The first was a hot Asian named Skye though she traded that name in for something lame like Daisy. She tried to kill me! Right after I reunited her with her own dad can you believe that shit? I tell you women man! They are wired badly! Now the third love of my life was amazing! Her name was Kara also known as agent 33 we tried getting revenge for what happened to her you this bitch Bobbie sold her out to get into Hydra. So we decided to get even and you know I get it was a lousy thing to do but the bitch had it coming! She showed no remorse she never owned up to it! Really is the world a better place with someone that untrustworthy in it? Cause if she can sell out her fellow agent for a position in Hydra while claiming to be in service SHIELD I'd hate to be have her on my team. Yet somehow she takes a bullet in the shoulder and everything is magically forgiven. Really though between you and me bullet to the shoulder not that bad if it were serious she would have bled out in seconds never would have made it back to if you want my opinion I think they just wanted me dead because they were stuck up fucks. Also after regenerating from a cell blown off of my alien possessed corpse I remembered having my brain fucked up by John Garrette that was not fun. Oh for clarification he didn't actually fuck my brain."

At that moment Deadpool's head began searing with pain "Holy fucking shit you lousy Writer! You pick now to insert a scene like this!" Deadpool's mind was flooded with images of a jungle of serving with Christian and Thomas Ward as hired guns. The next thing he saw was himself going crazy on some villagers and Christian stopping him the next memory he had was of Christian screaming at him "You twist every act and blame it on somebody else and I did not squeeze the trigger when you killed all those people Wade!" It was so similar to when they were at the well. Why again with the well? There's nothing real there! It was just fake memories given to the three of us! These were the thoughts that started ringing through his head. Finally he caught a glimpse of something a sign perhaps or a label of some kind it read: Weapon X Facility. The next memory he was strapped down to a table over hearing a conversation between John Garrette and Kilgrave.

"Hes going to be pissed if he remembers you know that right?"

Garrette just smirked "He's not that smart. Besides Wade won't remember he's Wade much longer."

The flashbacks kept coming until Deadpool finally passed out in the back of the cab. When Deadpool finally came to he saw the cab had stopped and the driver freaking out "Sir? Sir! Are you okay?"

"Uh… no I'm not the writer just fucking wasted my time and the readers by inserting that scene just to explain something that has already been pretty well established! What time is it?" Deadpool looked at his watch "Holy fucking shit!"

Mean While at the Air Port…

Leo Fitz waited patiently trying to get a cab but was having zero luck. He was so excited it had been forever since they had some alone time and soon they were going to get married. They weren't able to spend much time together sadly so they planned a special little vacation for before the wedding. Simmons didn't like the archaic notion of a bachelorette or bachelor party so she instead wanted to have a romantic getaway with Fitz. Finally, a cab that was driving way to wild showed up at first Fitz thought it would hit him. The Cab swerved and slid missing Fitz by inches.

"What the hell?"

"Sorry about that Sir. I was in a bit of a rush." The explained jesturing for Fitz to get into the back. Fitz couldn't really see the driver's face he had hoped to meet up with Jemma and made no plans for a cab so it was strange "Did Jemma send you?"

"Probably I just go where the boss tells me." Just so you know Deadpool was going purely on what he knew about cabs from playing Grand Theft Auto. The irony he was best friends with Mack and Hunter on Grand Theft Auto Online and other games and they had no idea who he was. Daisy was also in his guild on World of Warcraft. He often wondered how badly they'd freak out if they knew they were friends with him online.

Fitz shrugged off his distrust as paranoia and got in still he couldn't shake the feeling that the cab drivers voice was someone he knew. As soon as he did the doors locked and the cab sped off. "Fitz buddy! I haven't seen you in forever! How have you been?"

"Who are you?" Fitz screamed being thrown from one side of the car with each turn.

"What you don't recognize me? It's me! Grant Ward well my real name is Wade Wilson Hydra scrambled my brains and experimented on me after deeming me a failure they gave me the identity Grant Ward. Which was an alias I often, went by in the past when I did work for Hydra and posed as a SHIELD agent. I know this is a lot to absorb but-"

"Help!" Fitz screamed banging on the window "I'm being kidnapped!"

"Jeez Fitz! I'm trying to help you out here you are lucky I came when I did your making a mistake my friend."

"What are you talking about? Why are you kidnapping me?"

"Not kidnapping! I'm rescuing you Leo you deserve better than that bitch Jemma."

"Don't call her a-"

"I'm sorry Fitz but after everything she has done leaving you when you had brain damage, and fucking another man on another planet of course let's not forget the decade you spent pinning after her. You think she didn't know? Buddy trust me she knew you liked her and played with your heart strings that is how women are. So in closing not calling her a bitch would be disrespectful to you. Also if you get married where will you live? Will you live at SHIELD? What if she gets pregnant? Where will you raise the baby? I certainly hope not that place is certainly not a good environment to raise a child. I mean it gets attacked very frequently and SHIELD agents have a low life expectancy trust me I've done the research." Deadpool rambled on like the two were still friends like none of crap Wade did as Ward ever happened.

As you might imagine Fitz was scarred shitless "Ward, I mean Wade please stop this!"

"Nope sorry can't do that buddy we're going to Vegas!"

"Oh god I'm going to die! Please God don't let me die!"

"Fitz not going to lie you are such a whiner sometimes makes me glad that the drugs are starting to kick in. So fair warning I'm probably going to be as high as a kite. Holy crap the rainbow bridge! Do you see that Fitz? Oh my god there is Sif naked on a unicorn she's taking us to Asguard!"

"That's the freeway and you're on the wrong side of the road! Somebody help me!"