Sincere thank yous to those who read and reviewed!

So. In this chapter you get some nifty TieriaxEri interaction. The lack of description is kinda obvious, but I hope you guys will still enjoy the story and the portrayal of Eri. :)

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Struggle

It was like a dream, only I knew that it wasn't. The voices were hazy, and the colors were faded, unnatural – even distorted at times. They were flashing, showing, revealing everything they had.

Once upon a time, these images and voices had been real. At the very least, that was the truth which I now knew, remembered and understood.

Not completely. Not fully. Not totally. There were still things that didn't seem to totally fit. It confused me, made me miserable. I understood, and yet I didn't.

What else was it that I still hadn't remembered?

"To hell with that," I muttered, snapping my eyes open and immediately regretting it. "Those lights...too bright…" I struggled to sit up, wincing when sharp stabs of pain wracked through my body like lancing spears. "Ouch. Wait, what happened…?"

A chill ran down my spine. I had fought against...Hilling.

Hilling Care. I remembered her. Oh, yes, I definitely did. The mist seemed to clear in my brain, shaking away the fuzzy thoughts that seemed to cling around the corners.

Why…why was I fighting her again?

Don't be stupid, I thought, the two of us fought all the time.

Yes, we always did. We would fight, squabble, or just try to incapacitate each other with wordplay. But this was different. She had attacked me with a mobile suit and I had tried retaliating, for goodness sake. Even sibling rivalry wouldn't go this far. I was probably really close to dying back there.

But what happened? Why were we fighting in the first place? No, I couldn't remember. I couldn't…

And just where exactly was this place? It seemed familiar yet foreign at the same time.

"Eri? Eri, you're awake!"

The warm hand that had gently grabbed my shoulder sent me into a flurry of panic. I shot up, slapping it away. I would have turned and ran if I could, but the pain that radiated throughout myself was just too much to bear. Humiliatingly, I collapsed onto the floor with a loud crash - spilling blankets and bottles of medicine as I did.

"Eri…?" Feldt's expression was worried, and she didn't withdraw her hand.

I blinked rapidly, trying to make some sense of the world around me.

Suddenly, I remembered.

I was Eri, and I was part of Celestial Being.

Katharon had been attacked.

And most importantly, I had fought with Hilling Care – someone I had known from a long time ago.

I mentally cursed. For a moment back there, I had mixed up my memories with reality, completely forgetting everything about Celestial Being and the people I had met. Stupid, stupid, stupid - just how far could the instability of my mind go? Even now, reality didn't seem that clear either. The names in my head were jumbled up along with what seemed to be a huge pile of memory data, clogging up my thoughts and actions. They seemed to weigh me down, turning me sluggish.

Hilling Care. Anew Returner. Regene Regetta. And most importantly…

…my brother, Ribbons Almark.

"You shouldn't be moving," Feldt said quietly, interrupting my train of thought.

She was so kind, so caring – and still I pushed her away, this time as gently as I could.

"Eri…?"

"Please," I said, voice thick, "Please leave me alone."

"But…"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Feldt hurried out with a quick apology. My loud outburst had shocked her, but I couldn't help it. I just couldn't think – and the throbbing pain wasn't helping. I would have loved to crawl back into my bed now, but it just seemed so far away. Maybe I could stand – no, wait, I couldn't. Instead, I settled back into a corner, leaning against the wall for support.

So this, I thought bitterly, was my true identity all along. What exactly was my quest to help Ribbons then? Did it involve me appearing in Celestial Being all of a sudden? It must have been. There weren't any other explanations.

But…what could I do now?

Well, that was obvious. The right thing now was to continue betraying Celestial Being, as how it should have been from the very beginning.

That seemed to be the right thing…but was it?

Anew…was this how you felt? Torn between two allegiances, not knowing which to choose or what to do?

Just then I sensed a presence closing in. I looked around, alarmed – uncertain of how to deal with the presence of a foreign mind. I hadn't dealt with my original powers for so long that feeling them again seemed strange and bewildering. Technically, no one should have been able to see my memories as they were meant to be only for me, but I still felt strangely violated to know that someone had most probably felt the fear that was clawing at my heart. Emotions could be easily sensed, after all.

Whose presence was that then - was it Hilling? Regene? Ribbons…?

Instead, Tieria stepped into the room. He cast a glance towards the empty bed, at the corner, and then at me. The look on his face was dispassionate, unreadable – but I could sense the fury that radiated from his mind. He hadn't even bothered trying to hide it.

He stretched an arm out toward me and I shrank back a little, trying to seek some shelter out of the bare wall – knowing that I couldn't. All I could do was to mentally prepare myself for the strike that he would land on me.

However, instead of pain, I felt him pull me up almost gently – guiding me back to the bed.

He ignored the look of surprise that surely must have flitted past my face.

"Tieria…?"

"Which idiot," he said slowly, "Would wander away from the safest place they could be at even after being warned about the serious repercussions?"

Oh. "That would be me," I replied with a shaky smile.

I thought Tieria would leave with a scoff, but he didn't. Instead, he dragged a chair, sitting down next to me. He seemed to be contemplating deeply – I could see his eyebrows scrunched tightly together, just as how he always was when he wanted to pick out a problem.

"You are an Innovator," he finally said. It hadn't been a question.

"So are you," I retorted, waiting for the sentences about hatred, lies, and me being a threat to Celestial Being to fall from his lips. However, he didn't seem to be angry – the expression on his face was merely serious and thoughtful.

"You saw your memories, didn't you?"

I sat up quickly, ignoring the pain that abruptly flared at my hips. "How did you know? I should have been the only one to see those!"

My defensiveness didn't seem to faze him. "It was merely a hypothesis," he said, "If your Innovator powers have returned, you should have regained some memories as well."

Why that sly, shrewd fox – making me tell him what he wanted to know without making it seem like an interrogation. He remained silent after that, and I lost my patience.

"So?" I demanded. "What do you want to know now? Do I have to tell you my entire life story next? Shouldn't you be pulling a gun, threatening to kill me? If you have nothing better to say, just get out."

There was another pause, and then he said carefully, "You pose no threat to us, regardless of your relations to the Innovators."

Why wasn't he being irritated or angry? It didn't make sense. I wanted to wipe that sterile expression off his face - but unexpectedly, I started laughing. I laughed until my voice echoed around the room, sounding harsh and unnatural even to myself; I laughed until my sides ached violently reopening my injuries. Wetness trickled down my hips – that was definitely blood.

"What makes you so sure, Tieria Erde? How well do you know me? What if…what if…" I wanted to say, 'what if you found out that I was the sister of your worst enemy and I have no choice but to destroy you?' but all that came out was something between a choke and a sniffle. The words were stuck in my throat, and I couldn't get them out.

He stood up, reaching towards the cabinets for bandages. "Your origins and allegiances are of no concern to me, if that was what you meant."

"But that wasn't what you said a few weeks ago!" I cried, sounding scandalized. "Hey, what are you doing?"

Tieria had pulled the loose shirt I was wearing up, exposing the nasty gash that was at my hip. He unraveled the blood-soaked bandages I had, proceeding to put on fresh ones. The act felt strangely…caring and intimate, like we were companions in a war, not individuals grabbing at each others throats whenever we had the chance.

I sighed, ending my protests.

"Your quantum brainwaves were in a mess earlier on," he muttered.

Of course they would be. "I thought you said that my mine were destroyed."

"I was…mistaken."

"Apparently."

He gave me a furtive glance. "…What exactly did you see in your mind earlier on?"

I snorted. Like he didn't know already. "My memories. Yeah, that's not very specific, is it? Sorry, but I won't be writing a biography, even if it was for you."

Tieria chuckled. He actually did. "I expected no less." Surveying me with a critical look, he said, "You came close to losing your life back there. What exactly happened?"

This wasn't bantering. He was asking me a serious question, and it was only proper that I answered truthfully. "My opponent was an Innovator – someone I knew from long ago. In simple terms, she used a mobile suit as a bait. Once I fell for it, she took me down. It would have been easy for her – her mobile suit was much more advanced, and I was out of practice - ouch! Watch it!"

At my protest, Tieria loosened the bandages slightly. Realization flashed in his garnet eyes. "Have you piloted mobile suits before?"

I nodded reluctantly. "Yes, just for simple training back then."

He didn't ask anything about the 'simple training' or what 'back then' meant, merely giving me a swift glance that indicated 'I see'.

"So…" I continued carelessly, "Care to tell me how badly injured I am? The pain just doesn't seem to stop – or is it that Celestial Being just isn't equipped with the proper medical facilities?"

"Your injuries were severe. It took many hours just to ensure that you were out of danger. A full recovery would take much longer," Tieria deadpanned.

I rolled my eyes. "Right. Severe injuries. May I have a more detailed assessment report, please?"

"Countless bruises, deep gashes, a minor fracture – the blow to your head was the one that required the most medical attention of all. Had you not been discovered earlier, you would have bled to death," he said monotonously, as if it was a lunch menu he was reciting.

That explained the continuous pain that was shooting through my skull. It had dimmed a little throughout my conversation with Tieria, but now it was back charging back head-on. "Right. On a scale of one to ten, I'd rank this as extremely excruciating," I said, settling back onto the healing capsule with a sigh.

"…Your ability to speak your mind in such extreme circumstances never ceases to amaze me," Tieria said darkly. "Appreciate the fact that you are still alive. Take such reckless actions again next time and no one might be able to save you or your sorry memories."

I shrugged.

He stood up, preparing to exit. "Continue resting. I shall inform the others about your condition."

"You do whatever you want."

"By the way…" Tieria began.

I yawned a little. "Hm?"

"You pose no threat to us," he said stiffly, "I came to that conclusion after intepreting your quantum brainwaves earlier on. You were merely…afraid."

With that, he left. The door whizzed, shutting itself once again upon his retreat.

I half-groaned, embarrassment threatening to overwhelm my entire being. It was bad enough to have Tieria being suddenly so kind and understanding towards me, but for him to openly admit something like that? It didn't make sense.

I shook my head. It was only temporary. Sooner or later things would go back to normal – we'd soon be picking fights with each other once again, using new phrases and insults. Things would go back to how they once were – wouldn't they?

No – they wouldn't.

Now that I knew who I really was, things would just become more complicated. I smiled despite the pang in my heart, knowing that I only had two choices – to betray my brother and his kind, or to betray the people I had become close to on Celestial Being.

There was no question - I could never betray my true family.

But…how had I lost my quantum brainwaves and my memories together, I wondered? If they were the ones that did it to me, would it make any sense to continue helping them?

And Hilling had tried to kill me, for goodness sake!

She was merely playing with you, the reasonable side of me whispered. She would never really kill you, for you were always your brother's favourite.

My brother's favourite. That statement was enough to make me freeze in my steps. There was no doubt about it – while the other Innovators were created by him, I was Lilith Almark, his blood sister. I was born, not created – and that was one of the reasons why he appreciated my existence so much.

But did he really love me? If he did…he wouldn't have done anything to me, would he?

What could I do?

What would I do?

With these uneasy thoughts rolling in my head, I drifted into a restless sleep with conflicting thoughts heaped on my mind.

Whatever the future was, it wasn't going to be pleasant.

Okayyyyy. You know the drill. Please read and review! :)

- Anne