A/N: before anyone complains about the "unethical" deal between Fudge and the Goblins, remember that the mores of Magical Britain are not the nice Christian/Muslim/Jewish/Patriotic/Other mores that you grew up with. This is the man who, in another timeline, was perfectly willing the accept bribes and didn' t make much effort to hide the fact. And no one ever charged him as a criminal for this, even when they kicked him out of office.
The Greatest Minister for Magic in History Part 3
It was the 16th of July and Cornelius Fudge found himself staring up at the foreboding structure of Azkaban prison from the boat used to reach it. Along with his was Amelia Bones, Director of Magical Law Enforcement and a squad of Aurors who had the ability to cast the Patronus charm.
The new Minister wasn't above making certain he would not suffer unnecessarily.
The Warden met the group at the landing. "Welcome, Minister, Director. We're ready for the inspection."
Cornelius nodded. "First, the High Security area – I want to get that out of the way." The Warden nodded unhappily and led the Minister to the High Security cells. The Minister listened and watched, taking note of circumstances.
Most prisoners were fairly lethargic, but there were exceptions. Bellatrix Lestrange made every attempt to goad the Minister. Finally the Minister looked at the woman and said, "Madam Lestrange, I am heartily sorry that your criminal actions have necessitated putting you in this miserable place. It is, indeed, a terrible shame to waste such magical ability as you were known to have because you were unable to live up to the basic standards of society. I wish I could hate you, you know, but I find myself feeling nothing but pity and regret. I hope whatever higher power that judges our souls when we finally pass on sees that you were punished enough in this world so that you are not consigned to torture everlasting."
To the shock of those with the Minister, this actually shut the woman up. The tour of the High Security area – almost exclusively filled with Death Eaters from the war – was completed and the Minister sighed in relief to get away.
The minister continued on throughout the prison, speaking to this inmate or that, attempting to find out how effective putting these people in prison actually was.
The Warden supplied the names of a few prisoners who had model behaviour and whom seemed to be actually regretful for the harm they caused. The Minister's questioning seemed to bear up the Warden's observations.
Finally they reached Minimum Security. These were the inmates deemed the least likely to create problems and those with the shortest sentences. It also was the least unpleasant area of the prison.
The prisoners were surprised that Minister of Magic, as soon as he was given their name, seemed to know exactly what each was in for and for how long they would be there. For people who were usually treated with somewhat mild disdain by their guards, the casual civility of the man and his seeming sympathy actually made them feel more regretful for their past actions which put them there.
A surprising number of prisoners made personal resolutions to accept their punishments as just for the crimes they committed and never return to prison. The number of re-offenders would see a decent drop – an anomaly which seemed to occur every year that Cornelius Fudge was Minister for those who were imprisoned during his annual inspection.
If anyone had noticed, they would have seen the subconscious feeling that they would never be better than they were seemed to disappear in the kind treatment from such an important man. It was unfortunate that no one ever correlated the two pieces of information, but wizards were not known for keen observation.
Finally they reached the cells for those who were kept somewhat apart. The lone prisoner was Sirius Black.
"Sirius Black. Supposed traitor the Potters. I am Cornelius Fudge, Minister for Magic. How are you doing?"
Sirius looked at his visitor curiously. His rusty voice asked, "Aren't you frightened to be in the same area as mass-murdering scum such as myself?" The bitterness wasn't as hidden as Sirius would have liked.
"Well, if you are mass-murdering scum. To be honest, I don't know that you are. It seems that you never received a trial – something that I ordered to be rectified as soon as possible," the Minister replied calmly.
Sirius hadn't been informed of the reason for his transfer to these cells. "I'm finally going to get a trial?"
"Yes. I ordered you moved here so that you could recover a bit from the Dementors. I'd like you as coherent as possible so that you can aid in your own defense."
"I'm going to be able to defend myself? You'll give me Veritaserum?" The desperate hope of the man was obvious.
"If you submit to it, we'll give it to you. I find that law and justice are far better served by finding the truth than bowing to political convenience. You're for the Wizengamot in about two weeks. So get yourself as healthy as you can – you're getting your day in court."
The emaciated man broke down in tears. "Merlin bless you, Minister. I had almost given up hope of every being able to tell my story. I guess an old dog like me doesn't have to lay down and die."
Cornelius chuckled. "Not that old, Black: You're only thirty. If you're found innocent, you have quite a few years to enjoy life. Let's hope for your sake that the truth makes that possible." Sirius nodded, unable to speak. "I'll be seeing you soon."
As the party left the cells Cornelius observed, "From that reaction, I find myself doubting the man's guilt more and more."
Amelia nodded and sighed. "I have to agree with you. We better get ready for the shitestorm."
"At least WE didn't cause it, and WE are fixing it. Take comfort in that, Amelia."
She nodded in reply.
It was early on Tuesday when his secretary announced the Chief Warlock. Knowing that this was coming, Cornelius took a calming breath and raised his rudimentary mental shields. He had been practicing for two weeks at the suggestion of the Lone Traveler – Fudge had taken the warning about Dumbledore to heart.
He stood up as the venerable wizard entered. "Chief Warlock! Or should I say Headmaster. I'm actually confused as to which title I should use. Anyway, welcome to the Minister's office. How can I help you today?"
Albus Dumbledore chuckled and said, "You should just call me Albus. We'll be working together and it will be easiest. I have come to say hello and to find out how you're settling in."
"Oh, it's been a Gringotts cart ride to be certain, but I seem to be doing alright," Cornelius said.
"Some of your recent actions have been … inspired. Your objection to the bill presented by Lord Avery."
Cornelius chuckled. "Just trying to do my part to prevent needless bureaucracy."
"Certain factions didn't seem to like your position." The Chief Warlock looked at the Minister carefully.
Cornelius was confident as he looked back. "I know. I had a member of a certain faction mention that to me. I explained the lack of foresight in driving away certain members of our society in terms that I hope were understood. I'm a traditionalist but I'm not a supremacist – that's a path toward failure."
Dumbledore nodded. "I heard that you performed the Azkaban inspection. How did it go?"
Cornelius sighed. "It was somewhat depressing. A waste if you ask me. I DID find a few prisoners in Medium Security who seemed to be truly repenting whose continuing punishment would be counterproductive. I'm thinking of putting a bill before the Wizengamot to institute the idea of parole if a prisoner is deemed rehabilitated by recommendation of the Warden and the DMLE. We'd have to get verification by testing and a magical oath to not reoffend, but continuing to try to achieve a result already achieved seems wasteful of the taxpayers' money."
Albus nodded thoughtfully. "I can see that. And how about Maximum Security?"
Cornelius felt the brush against his shields but it was quickly withdrawn when he allowed a brief, seeming unconscious, facial response to it. "I can truly say that those I saw in Maximum security should be there. As I said to Bellatrix Lestrange as she tried to goad me, I'm regretful that their actions against society's rules requires that we separate them from the rest of us in such miserable conditions for the good of the rest of us. But that's the price they and we pay for their refusing to follow the basic rules of society. It's a waste of magical potential but there it is. I did express my desire to her that whatever judgment occurs when we pass over takes into account the fact that she has already suffered much in this world. We can always hope that their souls can be redeemed after this life."
Albus nodded in seeming satisfaction. "A commendable attitude. Anyway," and the Chief Warlock stood up, "I was just checking in and seeing how you were settling in. I will not take any more of your time."
The Minister stood as well. "I appreciate your coming by. If you need anything from this office, be certain to let me know and I will see what I can do."
"I'll do that. Good day, Cornelius." The Chief Warlock swept out.
Fudge took a moment to look at the door and huff. Under his breath he couldn't help but comment, "Condescending todger."
Cornelius Fudge walked into Gringotts Bank. It was very near his scheduled time to meet with Slipnose. He observed when he walked in that his account manager seemed to be waiting. And so, rather than get into line, the Minster walked over to him and stopped a respectful distance away. He nodded his head and said, "Good day and good business, Accounts Manager. I hope that you have not inconvenienced yourself waiting for me."
Slipnose nodded back. "No, my time has been well spent. I've made the necessary arrangements for our appointment. Follow me, please," the goblin said almost perfunctorily.
The Minister didn't take offense as he followed – goblins were surly as a rule.
Soon the two were, once again, in the Managers office. "We are here to discuss your inquiries as to dark artifacts and cursebreaking."
"Yes." The minister pulled out a folded piece of parchment and placed it on the table before pushing it across. "This is the most of the proposed text of the law I mean to get passed. There are a whole slew of records and facts and studies that back up the law, but this is the main gist of it. Before I propose the law, I want to ensure that you can deliver."
Slipnose reviewed the document. It was substantially the same as the Minister originally outlined. When he was finished, he looked up. "My leaders may be willing to agree to this. What limits on how much we can charge per item?"
The Minister sighed. "You know far more than I how much it costs to actually perform the service. And, I am certain that you can calculate a reasonable and not exorbitant profit. I do not think I am knowledgeable enough to try to tell you what to charge. But there is one thing I am knowledgeable about."
"Oh?" the Accounts Manager asked.
Cornelius grinned. "In any business deal, there must be something for every participant. You know that and I know that. And your people do not respect those that just give things away without a reasonable exchange."
The goblin hid a smirk. "And of what bearing are these facts?"
"This proposed law will bring much profit to your institution. The Ministry will want a cut of it."
"And what would you consider a reasonable, as you call it, cut?"
"Well, either 50% of the profit or 20 percent of the cost – whichever you prefer."
The goblin took on a hard look. "Our profit calculations are goblin secrets."
"Fine then. 20% of the full amount charged."
"20% is quite unreasonable. It will leave little profit for us. 5% is acceptable to us."
"Little profit is not 'no profit' – 15 percent might be acceptable."
The goblin could not hide the small smirk – his people truly loved negotiating. "I can, perhaps, convince my leaders that 7% is justifiable but it will be a hard sell."
"7 percent is a pittance and you know it. 14 percent might be acceptable to the Wizengamot when I argue it, but they won't like it."
"9 percent, and that is a gift to your political position because you are not as offensive as previous holders of your office."
"13 percent. And that's a bow to your people's sensibilities. That's about as far as I am willing to go." Fudge's face became resolute.
The goblin gave the minister a hard look. "12 percent – no more. We both make a profit but neither becomes rich from this one agreement."
Cornelius gave a thoughtful look. "12 percent … of every service that you deliver under this law – including the warding and rituals." The Minister's face took on a look of fierce glee. "But it's officially 10 percent to the Ministry. That leaves one point for each of us as commission for striking this agreement: 1 percent to your clan and 1 percent to my family paid for as expense and not profit. We both ensure that this is claimed as income within our respective governments. I will not be party to tax evasion – it would ruin me if found out."
Slipnose looked at the Minister with agate eyes and then barked a laugh. He called out a word in his own language. A number of older, better dressed goblins entered the room. The Minister respectfully stood.
The oldest walked over and said, "You bargain well – for a human."
"Thank you. To whom am I speaking?" the Minister asked politely.
"I am Ragnok. I run this bank."
"Then hello and Thank you, Director. I will say negotiating with your goblin there has been educational." Cornelius said this with a smile.
The goblins in the room barked a laugh together. "We will promise to not 'Rebel' while you are Minister – as long as you deliver what is agreed. If you fail, things will remain as they have always been: Armed watching between us."
"Make that my incumbency and that of my chosen successor and let that fact slip publically after I announce the bill and I can guarantee it passes."
The Director laughed longer and harder. "You negotiate even now at the moment of your success! It is truly a shame you were not born among us. We slip that such will be during your Ministry. Your chosen successor will have to be part of the next profitable venture you bring to us."
Fudge held out his hand with a grin (no teeth showing), "Done."
It was a historic and little known moment when the Director of Gringotts Bank shook hands with the sitting Minister for Magic.
Cornelius Fudge quietly sounded out various members of various factions regarding the law he wanted to propose. There were times when it paid to be shocking and times when it paid to be subtle.
The different "light" Wizengamot members were swung by the sheer number of Dark items that would be locked away or made safe, never again to threaten their children. The "Dark" members were gleeful about the ability to display such items for such a nominal cost, without the fear of being prosecuted. The "Neutrals" were won over by the fact that the agreement would not cost the Ministry any money from existing departments and projects but would likely increase the available budget – and increase employment.
Albus Dumbledore was not sounded out – he was busy with Hogwarts.
The Wizengamot meeting of 30 July was underway when the Minister stood up to speak. The Chief Warlock ceded the floor.
"Good afternoon. While I have been enjoying the debates on my proposed Ministry Reorganization Bill, the matter I wish to speak to you about today is something else entirely.
"I have, since taking office, began to look toward those situations which present difficulties to current Ministry operation or a threat to the magical world. I am saddened to report that such a matter has come to my attention.
"In speaking to various staff at St. Mungos, I have found that a significant portion of injuries that require extreme care are caused by one magical or another coming into contact with items that contain a curse or other 'Dark magic'. I have spoken to various people and come to the conclusion that Wizengamot action is necessary in this matter.
"The three points of my standard for Ministry action are as follows: 1) Is there a clear and present situation which is systemic? The answer is, unfortunately, yes. Numerous injuries every year. The items described are sold willy-nilly as far away from Ministry observation as possible so as to avoid those involved from getting into trouble. It's a systemic problem which is currently not sufficiently dealt with.
"2) Is existing law regarding the situation insufficient or conflicting, or will application of current law create future problems? Once again: Yes. Many items that contain such curses or Dark magic are, to be frank, heirlooms. One wizard or another inherits them quite legally as family heirlooms but then is presented with the problem that is illegal to own such items. What is the average wizard to do?
"3) Is it under the purview of the Ministry for Magic or the Wizengamot? Once again, the answer is: Yes. Protecting our citizens and Muggles from malicious enchantments definitely is a matter for us to deal with.
"These three points satisfied, I consulted several people as to possible solutions. The result of my findings is the proposed law that is being passed out to you all now. I will wait a moment until each member receives the proposal and a copy of the relevant background information."
Very soon, each member had received a small bundle of parchments containing the proposed law and the relevant background investigation showing the need for it.
"Everyone have a copy? Good. The proposed law is as follows: (A/N: Text at the end of this chapter)."
"I cede the floor to the Chief Warlock so that this bill can be argued as needed."
Fudge sat down.
To the surprise of many, a motion was put forward to vote on the bill as submitted immediately without further debate as all of the relevant background was included in the packet.
Cornelius, to the shock of many, bounced up to object. "While I am appreciative of Lord Runcorn's faith in my documentation, I am quite certain that there are a number of members who wish enough time to thoroughly review the packet before voting. Let it not be said that pressure for speed prevented proper review of even my proposals before passage. I would ask Lord Runcorn to modify his motion to this Friday – thus giving members at least two days to review the data."
That the two days were needed for the rumour from Gringotts to become public knowledge was something that Cornelius Fudge would take to the grave outside those who were in the know. Slipnose would later tell the Minister of his leader's amusement with the cunning savvy displayed by the Minister.
The sounds of approval throughout the chamber were no longer murmurs but were actually heard quite clearly. The members were impressed by the almost militant fairness of their new Minister. Lord Runcorn respectfully nodded to the Minister and modified his motion as requested. There were several seconds amongst almost all factions.
Gringotts was quite busy the next day. One reason for that was a number of people who were curious as to the Bank's reaction to the Minister's proposal. Many found the goblins less then forthcoming.
Early in the afternoon, however, there was a small disturbance. One of the reporters from the Daily Prophet happened to be in line when a goblin teller snarled at a customer. No one actually had ever met this teller previously but no one commented or realized this fact.
The teller's remarks were fairly easily heard. "Human! Mind your tongue! Only my Director's word that there shall be no rebellion during your Minister's tenure if his bill is passed prevents me from calling my clan out to march on your family to utterly destroy them!"
A watching Executive Teller snarled out a word to the teller. The executive was furious. "You give …" The Executive Teller stopped, looked around, and then snarled another few words at the teller.
The teller glared at the wizard in front of him and then withdrew through a door in the back.
The executive came over. "Wizard! You are no longer welcome to do business here today. If you somehow miraculously learn manners you might be allowed to do business tomorrow but you will have to make the attempt – if you dare. Now … Get … Out!" The wizard quickly withdrew as fast as he could. The Executive Teller looked around and snarled out another word. Suddenly all the tellers quickly returned to their current transactions. The Executive Teller went to the door the disgraced teller was seen to enter.
The Executive Teller's face turned into a wide grin after the door closed. He turned to the waiting goblin. "Well done, warrior. You shall find your bonus with your weekly salary delivered to your vault."
"Thank you, Clan Chief. I live to serve."
The disgraced wizard in question was seen later that day to be drinking morosely in the Leaky Cauldron. That he paid for his drinks with only a small number of the Galleons he had been given earlier in the back offices of Gringotts no one was aware. Those were curious never did catch the man's name and most, when asked, admitted they didn't know him. Then again, none saw the glamour drop after he disappeared.
Needless to say, the newspaper articles the next day assured the quick and easy passage of the Minister's bill, dated to be put into place on 15 August. It gave Amelia two weeks to staff the place.
Regulation of Magical Artifacts
0) All Laws regarding possession, sale, use, and disposal of items containing a curse or Dark magic currently extant are superseded by this Law.
1) The Ministry of Magic hereby orders an AMNESTY re the possession of all items that might be cursed or that might contain Dark magic upon the passage of this bill as Law.
2) The Office for the Regulation of Magical Artifacts shall be created within the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. If the Ministry Reorganization Bill passes, this shall be a Department level office.
3) Any item currently in the possession of any magical witch or wizard may be registered for a fee of 10 Galleons. The registration must include a description of the item in full including all known enchantments. This shall prevent the arrest of any magical witch or wizard regarding the ownership of said item. The owner of such an item has 90 days to register the item under this Law.
4) Within 90 days of registration, the owner of any item must provide certification from Gringotts Bank that the item is housed within a ward to prevent any Dark magic from affecting those who are in the presence of the item. The ward must contain an Age limiter so that no minor can come into contact with any such item. The safety of our magical heritage in the form of our children is paramount. The cost for such warding and certification shall be the responsibility of the owner of the item and not the Ministry nor Gringotts Bank.
5) Any item so registered and then later sold MUST be disenchanted from any curse or Dark magic before the sale can be considered valid and legal. The cost for the necessary cursebreaking shall be a matter of agreement between the buyer and seller. The Office for the Regulation of Magical Artifacts shall be notified that the item no longer falls under its authority and records of such items shall be archived and held for no longer than 5 years from the notification and no less than 1 year. This ensures that certification of any item as safe was not premature.
6) Any minor who resides within a home which currently contains any such item must be cleared of any Dark magical residue and certified as clean of foreign taint by Gringotts or any licensed cursebreaker. The cost of this shall be born by the homeowner. The homeowner has 180 days to certify compliance.
7) Any false certification under this law shall be considered fraud and prosecuted as such. The maximum penalty for conviction of Fraud under this statute shall be no more than 500 Galleons and 180 days in Azkaban per item or incident of fraud.
8) The failure to register any item which is cursed or which contains Dark magic shall cause the owner to be charged with the crime of Possession of Cursed Item. Conviction for this charge shall be maximum 200 Galleons and/or 90 days in Azbaban for each unregistered item found in the possession of a witch or wizard.
9) Any registered item which later causes damage to any magical witch or wizard other than the owner of said item shall cause the last registered owner to be charged with the Improper Housing of Cursed/Dark Items. The maximum penalty for conviction shall be 250 Galleons and/or 120 days in Azkaban for each such item or charge. Damage which causes permanent disfigurement or death shall be prosecuted under statutes dealing with Disfigurement/Death in addition to this Law.
10) Any item that is currently being stored as part of an unclaimed inheritance shall not fall under this law until the inheritance is delivered to its rightful inheritor. The current holder of such an item must ensure it does not cause damage to others. Violation shall fall under clause 9 of this Law for the holder, not the inheritor. The inheritor has the full 90 days to register any such items from the date he/she accepts the inheritance.
11) Any cursed/Dark item which harms a Muggle shall be investigated. If a witch or wizard passes such an item to any Muggle after the date of this bill in order to avoid the fees or penalties or specifically to harm the Muggle, the offending magical shall be charged under the clauses of this Law AND Laws dealing with violation of the Statute of Secrecy. Magical society must be protected.
12) Items that cannot be sold and which a magical wizard or witch wishes to get rid may be sold to Gringotts as scrap for 50% of the value of the material the item is made of. Removal of curses/Dark magic shall be the responsibility of the buyer.
13) Any goblin-made item which falls under this Law may be maintained by its current owner as long as it is housed as Clause 4 of this Law demands. However, sale of any such item to another magical witch or wizard is strictly prohibited. Such items may only be sold to Gringotts for the value of the materials which make up the item plus 20 percent. Responsibility to remove any curse/Dark magic shall fall to the buyer. Gringotts is bound to accept the sale of said item under these conditions or relinquish all future claims to it in perpetuity. The item could then be sold to any magical wizard or witch who wishes to buy it as long as Clause 5 of this Law is satisfied.
14) All registration fees and 10 percent of any charges by Gringotts Bank to perform the services required under this law shall be earmarked to fund the Office for the Regulation of Magical Artifacts. Any fees/percentages collected beyond the budgeted amount necessary to run this Office shall be turned over to the Ministry General Operations Account and be available for the General budget. Magical Law Enforcement shall enjoy priority for any such available funds.
15) Should the fees/percentages collected be insufficient to run the Office for the Regulation of Magical Artifacts, especially due to the lack of new items which fall under its authority, the Office shall be downsized until the current fees/percentages are sufficient to fund the Office. Should the Office fall below two (2) employees, its functions shall be folded into the Auror division and its records shall be turned over the DMLE Records division.