"We can give all of Matt's clothes to the Parish. They can also have the dishes and the sheets. I wanna keep the towels," said Alison going through a box of linens. She and Sam were working through the storage unit she had the following morning. After she had been released from the hospital she had been unable to live on her own so she had moved back in with her grandfather. Renee, Sophia and Sarah had moved almost everything from her and Matt's apartment to this storage unit. She had never set foot in here and was now trying to sort what she wanted to keep and what could be given away.
"Found the movies," said Sam sitting a box on a coffee table. Alison opened the box up and started digging.
"Do you want these Bloodsport movies?" asked Alison holding up a box set and Sam shook his head.
"I forgot what bad taste Matt had in movies," said Sam. Alison took the box set and put it in a box for the Parish store.
"Oh hey it's my Scream trilogy. We really should have a movie night again," said Alison. She took a drink of water and tried not to wince. Her throat was going to hurt for awhile and she sounded sort of hoarse. At least she was out of the neck brace and could talk. Sam pulled out another box set of Batman movies when his phone went off.
"Hey Steve. Yeah. She's right here. He what?!" asked Sam his eyes wide. He handed her the phone. "This one is for you." Alison took the phone and cleared her throat.
"Hello," said Alison.
"How are you feeling?" asked Steve.
"A little sore. The liquid diet sucks," joked Alison.
"Would you be willing to come back sooner than we talked about?" asked Steve.
"I can't come back until Sunday night," said Alison. Saturday was the memorial service for those who had died during the invasion and she was visiting her grandfather Sunday morning. Not to mention I have put off going through this unit for too long and I really need to do this, thought Alison.
"He's asking for you," said Steve and she nearly dropped the phone.
"What?" asked Alison slightly confused.
"He doesn't want the new doctor. Bucky wants to work with you," said Steve and Alison had to sit down on the sofa.
She wasn't sure what to think. She and Steve had spoken with the new doctor before she left and they agreed it was in his best interest that she not be around him anymore. She had wanted to give him the letter and say goodbye in person, but they didn't want to trigger an outburst. It was Natasha who had come to her before she left and agreed to take the letter to James.
"You still there?" asked Steve.
"Trying to grasp what you're telling me," said Alison.
"I think the setback might have caused a breakthrough of sorts. He really seems to miss you and said he didn't want the other doctor. He wants you. He said that you seem to understand things," said Steve. The letter clearly had a big impact than I thought it would, thought Alison.
"Bucky let me read what you wrote him," said Steve and Alison felt a sort of weight lift off her shoulders. If Steve read the letter he knew what happened and still wanted her to be on the team. Maybe you aren't such a screw up after all, she thought
"I'm sorry about what happened, but he's right. You do understand things," said Steve.
"I just need to handle some things here first. I promise I'll be back on Sunday night. Tell him we'll start first thing Monday morning," said Alison. She need time to prepare herself for taking him on again. He asked for her, but he could just as easily change his mind again.
"I will," said Steve. He ended the call and Alison looked at Sam and he shook his head.
"Do you want a one way ticket to Mexico?" asked Sam seeing the look of nervousness on her face and Alison shrugged.
"I was brought in to treat him. You said I would be good at this," said Alison and Sam sat down on the sofa with her.
"I did," said Sam. He knew her well enough to know she was going to start thinking herself in circles and doubting herself so he reached over and grabbed the Batman boxset. "So...you really let Matt have Batman and Robin in your home I am very ashamed of you."
"It was part of the set," protested Alison.
…
Bucky sat with Natasha and he read the second Harry Potter book. You didn't finish the first one, he thought. It was most likely still lying in the medical lab along with the recording of Becca that Alison and Steve had gotten for him. He look over at Natasha who was playing on her phone. After being with Alison for almost a week the silence coming from Natasha was a bit odd to him and he decided to put a stop to it
"You're from Russia too," said Bucky sitting the book aside. She sat the phone aside and looked at him. He wasn't really sure what to make of her. She got along with Steve from what he had seen and she didn't seem scared of him either, compared to everyone else here. She just seem to take him as he was.
"I was. I defected in the early 2000's to join SHIELD," she said and adjusted herself in the chair. "The girls in the Red Room were taught a little about you." admitted Natasha.
"Like what?" asked Bucky. Apparently his fate was for other people to know his life better than he did.
"We were told you were the perfect weapon for Russia. That you gave up everything in service to her. That we would only be so lucky to be as good as you were. It appears that some facts were twisted," said Natasha.
"Clearly," said Bucky barely holding back his disdain.
"You taught some of the girls," said Natasha. "At least those were the rumors. By the time I was learning they said you had been lost after the Fall. It was a bit shocked to see you in Iran. After all you were a legend in a lot of ways. "
Bucky closed his eyes and thought. Classical music filled the air and he could see young girls in front of him. Not older than ten. Looking at him with wonder and fear in their eyes. Him showing a young girl how to hold her weapon, to deal with the kickback, to load quickly. Someone went to hit one of the girls when she dropped a bullet and he lashed out hitting the other instructor.
"Don't touch her!" he spat and he wasn't allowed to see the girls after that. He was punished for causing a scene. Hours in the chair and a beating before going back to his cryo chamber.
"I did. I taught some of them. I didn't like it when they were punished so I wasn't allowed to come back," said Bucky and Natasha nodded.
"A few of them called you Big Brother. I haven't seen any of them since coming to SHIELD, but I'm sure they're still out there. It might be best if I avoid the class reunions" said Natasha with a slight grin.
"They were so little. I didn't like them being hit," said Bucky more to himself. Natasha watched him get a far away look in his eyes and she had her hand on her button when he came back. His arms were free and she had seen that left arm tear through metal and if he wanted it bad enough he could get her.
"Vie en Rose," he muttered.
"What?" asked Natasha.
"Nothing," he said and went to pick his book back up when Steve came in.
"Well?" asked Bucky trying not to sound too hopeful. She had every right to say no. You did try to kill her after all, thought Bucky and he shoved the thought away.
"Alison will be back sometime Sunday night. She said you could talk to her on Monday," said Steve and Bucky nodded.
"Thank you," said Bucky and he picked the book back up. She's coming back. Steve went to go run a training drill and Natasha leaned back in her chair and studied him until he closed the book and looked at her.
"What?" asked Bucky.
"It's only Thursday. Do you really want to wait that long to get things off your chest?" asked Natasha. Natasha knew you could only hold so much in before you snapped and he needed to get something out badly. He knew Steve and maybe that made it harder for him to open up and tell him things. He's not sure how badly his friend will think of him. He really doesn't know or remember that Steve couldn't think badly of him ever.
"It's only a few days," said Bucky trying to keep his tone collected.
"A lot can happen in a few days. Tony Stark created an AI in three days. A demi god nearly leveled New York in two days. Steve and I brought down SHIELD in two days. Should I go on?" asked Natasha.
"What are you suggesting? It's not like I can walk out of here," said Bucky. His arms were free, but his legs were restrained. It had been a long time since she had done a breakout, but he needed out of here and he need to talk to someone. I had Barton and he needs a Barton.
"Us former KGB puppets need to stick together. Besides sometimes if you wait too long the words get lost," said Natasha standing up. "I'll see you around. Don't tell Steve or I'm going to be locked in a room next to you."
She left the room and Bucky looked after her stunned. He didn't think she wanted to hurt him. Even though you shot her twice. He sensed she really wanted to help him. If you wait too long the words get lost. He wasn't sure what he wanted to say to Alison other than sorry. You didn't ask her to come back. Steve did. You should ask her to come back. Face to face. It suddenly seemed like the hardest thing he would ever have to do was ask her for something. Did she say yes because of me or because of Steve?
He found he couldn't focus on the book anymore. He sat it aside and tried to piece together what else he had just remembered. There was a little girl, blonde hair and brown eyes. She kept giving him huge puppy eyes and would always try to sit with him during meals. The other commandos would tease him about how he finally got a sweetheart. They had just come back from a mission and he could hear the little voice singing
Des yeux qui font baisser les miens,
Un rire qui se perd sur sa bouche,
Voilà le portrait sans retouche
De l'homme auquel j'appartiens
Quand il me prend dans ses bras
Il me parle tout bas,
Je vois la vie en rose.
…
"What do you want to do with this?" asked Sam. Alison looked over at the box Sam had and it had a bunch of Matt's stuff from high school. She was surprised that his parents hadn't come looking for it.
"Oh wow. Um I really should give that to Nick and Susan," said Alison. She twisted the ring and went to move on the next box and Sam took her arm.
"Have you seen Nick or Susan lately?" asked Sam.
"I talked to Nick and Rachel for a few months after Matt died, but things were really weird with me and Susan. Than I got really weird so I just stopped calling and then they stopped I guess the answer would be no. Still they should really have that box," said Alison and she twisted the ring on her hand again. You really should give it back. Let it go for good. She took it off and put it in the box.
"Are you really sure you wanna give that back?" asked Sam. Alison sat down the sofa that was going to be sent the parish.
"I tried giving it back after Matt died and Nick wouldn't take it. Honestly I'm glad he didn't take it than. I really wasn't ready to let him go. I thought letting him go would be the worst thing I could do. It's a bit overwhelming at times to grieve because everyone thinks it's supposed to be one way. Like I haven't acted right since he died. I'm either supposed to spend my life pining for him or I'm just supposed to jump headlong into something new," said Alison.
"I'm really hoping you told all those people where they could go," said Sam.
"I was very tempted too. I do want to put myself back out there and it's scary. It's a scary thought to think I might feel that way about someone again. I just don't wanna be sad about him anymore. What we had was amazing and I wanna remember that. Does it make sense?" asked Alison. I don't wanna focus on the last minutes we had together anymore. I really want to move on now.
"Does it make sense to you?" asked Sam.
"A little," said Alison.
"I just want you to be happy. I just want you to know that any new guy you bring around has to get my approval," he joked and nudged her so she laughed.
"You know you were the cause of one of our top five fights," said Alison.
"What" asked Sam stunned. He and Matt had always been friendly to each other. He was even supposed to be one of the groomsman at the wedding.
"It was when we first started dating. Matt wanted me to go to a party with him and we already had plans to hang out. He got all pissy about it and complained about how much time I spent with you. I told him he could suck it because you weren't going anywhere and he didn't like it than too bad. We didn't talk for about a week," said Alison.
Sam looked at her with a hint of surprise. She had been over the moon about Matt from day one. She had dated other guys before, but something about Matt caught her and dug in. He knew if any girl told him to ditch Ally he would tell her to get lost too. It was still a bit of surprise to know she had done it with Matt.
"You know we could always get married," said Sam.
"You didn't like kissing me in seventh grade. I'm pretty sure you would like it less now that I'm close to thirty," said Alison getting up to dig deeper in the storage unit.
"It was spin the bottle with ten other people watching us. I had a performance issues," countered Sam.
"Whatever helps you sleep at night," said Alison grinning.
…
Bucky finished his dinner with Steve and he told Bucky a little bit about what the facility had here and what to expect. He and Alison would have rooms next to each other, a door separated their rooms from each other. It would be helpful in case he needed her, but still offering both of them a bit of privacy. Steve's room was down the hall from theirs just in case. The Headquarters was a military base mixed with a lab and a medical facility. According to Steve they had scientists here working on anything he could of think of and a team of doctors and nurses who were still learning. Along with treating him Alison would be finishing her nursing degree here. Busy little bee, thought Bucky.
"It's also a little bit of school too I guess. Tony read something about a 'special' school in North Salem that trained so called 'gifted' students and he wanted to the model our headquarters after them," said Steve.
"And he put you in charge of it? Thought he was supposed to be smart," said Bucky. I owe him an apology too, thought Bucky. Steve fought the urge to roll his eyes.
"Ha ha. I am a Captain after all Sergeant," said Steve. Bucky shook his head.
"You are the kid from Brooklyn too stupid to know when to walk away from a fight," said Bucky with a slight grin. Steve smiled back. This was the Bucky he remembered and wished could come back for good. However he knew that they had both changed when they went into the ice.
The Steve Rogers who had wanted kids and family hadn't come back from the ice. The James Barnes who could charm any girl in a dance hall would sometimes came back in bits and pieces. He couldn't come back all the way though, Steve knew that now. He just hoped that whatever Bucky came back as he would still be his friend.
"Must be something in the Brooklyn water," said Steve.
"What did you say to Alison? To make her come back?" asked Bucky. It had been bothering him a bit that she agreed to come back. He wanted her to come back and was relieved that she would come back. She understands how life can deal you a crap hand. He missed her and she seemed to be the only person willing to be near him without being told too. Other than Natasha. When you got down to it though other than his brief attempt at being nice to her he had treated her like crap and tried to kill her to boot. She agreed because of something Steve said. It's the only thing that makes sense, thought Bucky.
"I told her that you asked for her. That you wanted her to come back. I know you haven't had a good run with those in the medical field and so does Alison. I'm not gonna lie Buck, you probably gave her a good scare yesterday. She knows you need help though and since you asked for it she's going to do it," said Steve.
"You know I thought she was crazy even before she admitted going to the bughouse. I guess it takes a crazy person to work with a crazy person," said Bucky.
"I don't think you two are crazy. You both are coping with some things you never thought would happen in your wildest dreams," said Steve.
"I remember hearing about the alien attack. Sometimes they would wake me up between missions to fill me in major events that Hydra wasn't behind. Like the aliens. They seemed really happy about it. How it caused so much chaos that it sped up their plans. It was going to make things easier to take over. I guess I also sort of helped with that," said Bucky. I killed people. Presidents, world leaders, Tony's parents….It hit him like a train and Steve saw how Bucky's whole body shifted and his eyes got that really far away look.
"Bucky?" asked Steve and Bucky shuddered.
"I just need a break okay," said Bucky and Steve nodded.
"I'll see you in the morning than," said Steve and he left the room. Bucky closed his eyes and recalled clearly taking aim at the car that Howard and Maria Stark had been in. He shot a bomb disk at it causing the car to lose the control and crash. When he went to check he saw that Maria had broken her neck and was already dead. He had to kill Howard who had somehow survived the crash by slamming his head into the steering wheel until he was dead. Bucky felt suddenly sick to stomach and he closed his eyes. I killed them. I liked Howard. He said if I wanted a job after the war he would find me something. I told him my sister already worked for him and he joked about making it a family affair. He wasn't aware of how long he had zoned out until Natasha took his arm.
"Do you still wanna go?" asked Natasha.
"Please," said Bucky. She undid the restraints and handed him jeans, a blue tee shirt and hooded sweater to change into. She took him down the hall and down a few floors to a garage area and gestured to get into the black sedan. He got into the passenger seat and she got into the driver's seat and they drove away.
"Let's hope dad doesn't ground us too much," said Natasha. …...
"I honestly did not realize how much stuff we had," said Alison putting a box in the car. It was way past eleven and they had been here all day. Sam shook his head and went to grab another box when he found a box wrapped in silver paper, topped with a white bow and a card.
"Hey Ally, come here," called Sam. Alison came back in and looked at the box puzzled. "Do you know what this is?" he asked.
"No," said Alison and she opened the card and knew it was from Matt based on the neat handwriting. I was liberated from a douche who only knew John Mayer songs. Use me well. Alison opened the box and pulled out a guitar case. "Oh my god," said Alison opening the case and pulling out the guitar.
"Do you know how to play that?" asked Sam. Alison tuned the guitar up and played the opening to Paint it Black.
"He was teaching me. I know about six songs. This must have been a wedding present," said Alison quickly wiping her eyes. Thanks honey, thought Alison. She picked the guitar and carefully sat it in the backseat. Sam came up and hugged her.
"You gonna be okay?" he asked.
"My gift was sort of lame in comparison. I got him The Room autographed by the whole cast and crew. Seriously lame," said Alison. Sam hugged her tighter and offered to drive.
"We did get a lot done though today and I couldn't have done that alone," admitted Alison. It was almost too much to handle all at once. The person I was when I with him was in there. thought Alison.
"Anytime," said Sam. He drove back to the apartment and was going to stay in Sarah's apartment and they made plans to meet up in the morning to finish up the storage unit and then they would tackle the apartment. She carried the guitar upstairs and left the other boxes locked in the truck. He walked her upstairs and gave her a hug goodnight before heading back downstairs.
Alison let herself in and looked around. She really hadn't changed much of the apartment even though her grandfather hadn't lived here in over a year. It was sort of home and it sort of wasn't at this point. She went to her room, she hadn't changed much in here either since moving back. All the things from her childhood were still here. The old man had left it the same since she moved out at nineteen. Exhausted from how the last two days had played out she fell asleep quickly. It only felt like a few minutes had past before her alarm went off and she rolled over to shut it off. She looked up to see James standing over her. ….
They let themselves in just before dawn. Natasha had knocked, well lightly tapped on the door and got no answer.
"It is early," she said and pulled out a lock pick and went to work. Bucky was starting to have second thoughts about this. Steve was going to wake up soon and when he found out that they were both gone he was going to flip out. He wasn't sure about how Alison would react to find them in her apartment before sunrise. I'm pretty sure breaking into someone's place is still bad manners, thought Bucky has she got the deadbolt opened.
"Thank Thor she didn't have a chain lock. I didn't any bring cutters and it would make a lot of noise to have you break the door," whispered Natasha. She shut the door behind them and they both looked around. It didn't seem lived in to him, not the way his former home had been. It was clean, but a bit too clean. He followed Natasha as she went into the living room and started looking at pictures on a bookcase. They were of a much younger Alison if he was going to guess. Baby pictures, grade school, First Communion. Forgive me father for I have sinned….I don't even want to think of how much I would have to confess now, thought Bucky. Natasha picked up a framed photo of an older man surrounded by kids holding various musical instruments.
"Her grandfather...must have been a teacher. Yup. Teacher," said Natasha pointing to a small plaque on another shelf. It read that Robert Conley Sr was teacher of the year-1997 and again in 2000. Another plaque congratulated him for fifty five years of service to King County School District. There was a photo of the older man and a teenaged Alison in his uniform at what Bucky guessed was at a party.
"I don't see any of her parents," said Natasha looking at another shelf.
"What?" asked Bucky who had been looking at picture of her and Sam in his dress uniform.
"Her parents. Not a single picture hanging up," said Natasha.
"Maybe they didn't have any," said Bucky remembering how Becca had saved for a camera and would carefully put all the photos into scrapbooks. I don't remember if we had any pictures of mom, thought Bucky. Natasha shrugged and went down the hall, Bucky gave the shelf one more look and saw another picture of teenage Alison wearing a long formal purple dress and standing next to a guy with shaggy black hair in a black suit and purple tie. She looked like she had been laughing and the guy had a goofy grin on his face looking at her.
He followed Natasha down the hall and neither one of them made a sound. The first door on the left was just a bathroom. The next door on the right was a bedroom, but it had the feel of not being used in sometime. The bed was made, but it didn't have any personal effects in it. The last door on the left was Alison's room who was currently sleeping in a twin bed.
"We'll let her sleep," said Natasha shutting the door. Bucky followed Natasha back to the kitchen and she started poking around the cabinets and fridge.
"She must not have gone shopping this week or she eats out a lot," said Natasha. Bucky looked in the fridge and saw some eggs, yogurt, some almond milk. Almonds? and a few other odds and ends.
"I'm going to go down the street to get some stuff for breakfast. Can you be good while I'm gone?" asked Natasha.
"I can behave," said Bucky.
"Let her sleep," said Natasha giving him a look before heading out. He would let her sleep, it didn't mean he couldn't look around her room. He went back to Alison's room and she didn't stir has he started looking around. It felt more lived in than the rest of the apartment. A dresser was cluttered with things. Another framed picture of her, Sam, the other boy and three other girls in the formal dresses. Another showed her with the two girls from the first photo dressed up in the oddest outfits he had ever seen. Why is dressed like a trashy maid? thought Bucky A program for a play had been tossed on the dresser for a production of Grease and another program for something called Rocky Horror. A set of drumsticks with her name etched on them and another picture of her and the black haired boy, him holding a violin and her with her drumsticks.
Alison rolled over, but didn't wake up has he looked over to the bookshelf that was overstuffed with books. There were the Lovecraft ones and the Harry Potter ones on the top shelf.. The bottom had really thick looking books with titles about Practical Nursing, Ross and Wilson Anatomy and Physiology in Health and Illness and Psychology for Nurses and Caring Professionals were on the bottom shelf along with other really thick looking books about math, Spanish and two large binders label-Sheet music rounded out the bottom. The middle had books he wasn't too sure about-A lot were by someone name Stephen King, others looked like they belong to a child and were by someone named Shel Silverstein and Grimm's fairy tales. Others were very dog eared like-The Princess Bride or Handmaiden's Tale or looked like they had only been read once-Fight Club and The Color Purple.
The walls were white like the rest of the apartment, but posters had been hung up. One was of four guys in the middle of nowhere looking really serious. U2-Joshua Tree was at the bottom. Another poster with four guys crossing a road and another one with two guys dressed in black wearing sunglasses and hats with a cop car in the background. Alison rolled over again and she groaned a bit. He looked down at her sleeping form and wondered how she could be so unaware of his presence. Because she thinks she safe in her home. The alarm went off next her and he froze. She reached over with her eyes still closed and slapped the alarm off. She opened her eyes and did a double take upon seeing him standing there. Pretty sure this also falls under bad manners, thought Bucky.
…..
Alison sat up quickly and pulled the blankets up to her chest like a kid waking up from a nightmare. The blankets are a safe place, thought some very childish part of her brain.
"What? What are you doing here...wait how do you know where I live?" asked Alison trying to get things clear in her head. James looked really sheepish all of a sudden.
"Natasha knew and she might of picked the locks," admitted James. Sam is gonna ride my ass about not getting a chain lock for the door, thought Alison. Than again she really wondered if a chain lock would have made a difference when two former Russian assassins wanted into your apartment.
"Where is Natasha now?" asked Alison.
"She went to get stuff for breakfast," said James. Okay. It's six in the morning on a Friday. People have basically broken into your apartment. One of them is going shopping for you and the other one looks like a kid with his hand in the cookie jar, thought Alison trying to make sense of what was going on. He did look slightly embarrassed to be here and she got out of bed. It was then he noticed the marks on neck and he went from looking embarrassed to slightly ashamed.
"I...I really didn't mean to hurt you. I wanted you to know that," said James shoving his hands in his pockets and looking at the floor.
"Is that why you came here?" asked Alison watching his reactions. He looked defeated and sat down on her bed.
"My dad used to hurt my mom and I always told myself I wouldn't be like him. I turned out a lot like him though. A mean, hurtful bastard," spat James.
"Can I sit next to you?" asked Alison and he nodded. She sat next him and for the first time he didn't stiffen or seem nervous that she was so close to him. She felt a little nervous, but she was going to have to work through that. He asked for your help and if he really wanted you dead he could have done it already, thought Alison.
"You aren't mean and hurtful. Hurtful people aren't sorry for their actions and mean people don't care about what they done in the past. I think you do care a lot and that's why this is so hard for you. I think you've been hurting up here for a long time," said Alison tapping his forehead lightly and he shook his head.
"I hurt you. I killed Tony Stark's parents and those are just the few times I remember hurting someone. I know I've done a lot of bad things though. I don't know how to make it right," said James. Tony's parents died in a car crash...they could of had him set it up though. God what else did they make you do? You have a very long road ahead of you.
"It's not going easy, but you can try. It's really all any of us can do is try to make things right," said Alison.
"I'm really sorry about hurting you. If you don't want to see me again I'll understand," said James still looking at the floor. Alison reached over and took his right hand and he covered her's with his left. It wasn't as heavy as she thought it would be, but it did give her some goosebumps from how cold it felt.
"You asked for me and I'm gonna try. It's all I can do. Can I ask why you asked for me back?" asked Alison.
"I remember that all I wanted to do was come home, see my sister, try to get a dame to marry me...I just wanted a normal life and I didn't get it either. I don't know where I'm supposed to go now. We both got screwed over in that department," said James. He paused and looked like he was debating about jumping off a cliff. "You also remind me of someone from a really long time ago. I think she might of have been one of the last people to care about me before I turned into this," said James.
"Georgina," said Alison and he nodded.
"She...she was sorry too. They made me hurt her and she was sorry about it," said James and his grip on her hand got very tight. He was starting to get that far away look again.
"I need you to stay here right now," said Alison calmly. He closed his eyes and the grip eased up a bit.
"I just wanted to come home," said James.
"Sometimes it's harder than people make it out to be," said Alison looking around her room. He nodded and opened his eyes again.
"I'm really the reason you agreed to come back. Not Steve?" asked James.
"Yes. You are the reason I agreed to come back," said Alison. "I'm still not really the most objective person, but if you want my help I'll try my best." He nodded and looked at her. Her knee was touching his and there wasn't much space between them sitting on this tiny bed.
"I can't remember the last time someone was this close to me and I wasn't killing them or they weren't hurt me," said James. He leaned over and hugged her. Alison froze has his left arm wrapped around her and his right hand wrapped around her hair. She couldn't move as his grip tightened on her. " I miss…" he started and Alison hugged him back. We're gonna try to get you through this, thought Alison.
…
I missed having comfort, thought Bucky when she hugged him back. No one had offered him a second of comfort since Georgina had died. She eased away from him slowly and gave him a very tired smile.
"I need you to ease up a bit," said Alison. He didn't realize how tightly he had been hugging her and he let her go. She took his hand again and squeezed.
"That was kind of a huge step for you just now. Letting someone get that close and realizing it was alright. Are you going to be okay?" asked Alison. He was still a bit taken aback about how forward he had been just now.
"Yeah. I just need a second," said Bucky taking a deep breath. She didn't flinch...she was scared for a second, but she didn't try to push me away. She let me touch her and she didn't hurt me. I haven't had anyone touch me without hurting me in decades.
"Take all the time you need James," said Alison.
"Could you please call me Bucky? Only my mother called me James. Well my sister did too when she wanted to annoy me," said Bucky.
"If that's what you want. Bucky," said Alison. He could tell it was an odd thing for her to call him that. But since he asked she would try for him. It's more than I could really ask for. Alison was about to say something when someone cleared their throat. They turned around to see Sam standing in the doorway of the bedroom.
"What in the world is going on?" he asked when they heard the door open and shut again. Natasha joined them a few seconds later and eyed him.
"I told you to let her sleep," said Natasha.
"My alarm went off," said Alison.
"I'm sure it did," said Natasha eying him.
"And what are you doing here?"demanded Sam.
"I was gonna make waffles," said Natasha turning and walking away.
"That does not answer the question," said Sam turning and following her down the hall. Alison looked at him and shrugged.
"He's only a little annoyed. He'll get over it," she said. Bucky stood up and look after him.
"I did try to kill him too," said Bucky and Alison nodded.
"He got over it. Do you feel a little better now?" asked Alison.
"A little bit," he admitted and she grinned at him.
"That's good. Um...do you want to stick around for a bit? I'm just going to be packing today. We could talk more if you want. It doesn't have to be any of the real heavy stuff. Anything you want to know about the last seventy some years I might have an answer. Or we could look it up and we'll both know something new," said Alison.
"I'm pretty sure Steve is going to lose his marbles when he finds out I've gone AWOL. I think I wanna avoid that for a little bit longer. He might not be so mad if he finds out I went to talk to my head nurse," said Bucky and Alison raised her eyebrows.
"Why Sergeant Barnes I am surprised. Sneaking off to talk to a nurse. Whatever you want to do is fine with me. If needed I'll try to run interference with Steve," said Alison. Bucky sort of shrugged and she left the room. Bucky looked around the room again. He did feel a little better after talking to Alison. Maybe I'll stick around and talk some more. I'm not sure about what, but it's better than being stuck in that damn room. He heard Sam and Natasha bickering about how they had snuck into Alison's apartment. Alison telling them both to knock it off and thanking Natasha for the waffles.
"A phone call in the future would be nice though," said Alison. He heard a phone ring and Natasha clearly telling Steve to relax and that he was fine. I'm not sure if I'm fine, but we're going to try.
Bloodsport and The Room are real movies and they are horrible.
Love it, hate it, review it please.