A.N.: So this is basically the end of Original Songs and the Born This Way episode mashed. That said, the rushed up week ends with this episode, finally. Our boys will get a slower pace after I finish Born This Way, which will extend a little bit more (but not much). I won't be able to watch Season 3 until January, so, whatever you guys read now and afterwards, please don't think canon (and give me a warning if you're going to write spoilers, because I won't be able to watch Season 3 until January)!
Chapter 6: Our gift
It's a good thing that I am a performer at heart. If it weren't for that, I would never have been able to finish performing "Candles" – to which there was a startling ovation after a few seconds of awed silence – and then lead "Raise your glass", especially after understanding what Kurt was conveying with that first song. I am sure he didn't want to affect me or the performance, but he has never been a good liar – at least not towards me –, and with the lyrics meaning so much to him, I'm sure he couldn't avoid singing it so realistically.
As we finish our performance, and everyone hugs him, questioning about the exceptional performance, all I want is to pull him with me into a corner and ask what exactly is happening. Before I can however, Kurt answers my own inquiries through the others'.
"Thank you. Thanks, everyone. I will forever be grateful for the faith you put in me tonight. And I am glad I was able to give it my all at this performance… my last performance with the Warblers."
All the smiles, including mine, turn into a frown. Is he going to quit the group, in order to spend less time with me, and drown his feelings? However, that certainly doesn't seem like something that Kurt would do, to quit singing.
"I am going back to McKinley on Monday or Tuesday, depending on the paperwork, and I…"
"What?"
"You can't…"
"You are what?" I shout, interrupting whatever the others were saying, not being able to contain it. I can't help it; this is the first time I'm hearing about this, and I don't want him to go away – especially not to a place where I know there is a bully ready to jump at his throat the moment he steps back there again.
Despite the stares from the others, Kurt's is the one that unsettles me the most. The way he's looking at me seems to mix sadness and determination, and I am more than a little worried. Did he decide to face Karofsky after all? Could it be that he chose to confront that feared bully everyday, because he couldn't bear our situation anymore? This might be a little egocentric, but, knowing Kurt, I am sure that I, somehow, was part of whatever decision he made.
"Could you guys give us a minute? I'll explain this later, just like I promised." He asks, his voice low, so unlike the high-pitched voice that we became used to. Maybe it was that tone, but there were only a few and unintelligible complaints as Thad, David and Wes nodded, signaling the others to follow them.
When the Warblers were far enough, and a glimpse of warmth graced his features as the countertenor looked at the group, I tried to restart the conversation. "Kurt, you can't be serious about going back there! What about Karofsky? What if he hurts you? And…"
"Blaine."He says simply, and the way he says my name alone quiets me. "Karofsky and his father called a meeting with me, my dad, Mr. Schue and Director Figgins yesterday at the school. That's why I couldn't come to rehearsal yesterday. He said he was sorry and they started an anti-bullying program of which he is one of the leaders."
"And you believe him?" I question immediately, automatically… I can't help but to be doubtful. I saw how violent this kid was and I knew how far he had pushed Kurt, until my friend found himself incapable of remaining in his own school anymore. There is no way I can simply see him off into the bully's hands with a smile on my face. "Are you serious?"
"As I'll ever be," he answers flawlessly. The way he says it with such finality is proof enough that he has thought this through, and that he has already found the answer… the answer to leave Dalton, the Warblers… and me.
"Why?" I ask, before I can even think of saying anything else. It is, however, a question I desperately need an answer to.
Kurt looks thoughtful for a moment, as if pondering what to reply. "For one thing, there's our financial situation, which really can't keep up to Dalton's expenses for longer, so going back is most convenient."
"But Karofsky…" I start, but he raises a finger and I immediately become quiet.
"He's really sorry, Blaine. Either that, or he's one hell of an actor. Besides, Santana has her finger in this, so I'm sure that, whatever she said or did, I will be alright. She may be crazy, but I know she wants me back at McKinley…"
"Do you want to go back, Kurt?" I ask, not able to hold it back, and emphasizing that I wanted to know his thoughts. I need to know what he feels, not what is convenient for him.
My friend takes a deep breath before replying. "You know I never wanted to leave, Blaine."
"But you're happy here! We could find some way over the financial part! We could request a scholarship! Heck, with the way you sang today, I'm sure we could get Dalton to dismiss your expenses if you apply to the special Warbler scholarship! I'm sure we have something like that!" My voice raises a little, though I barely notice. My focus is clearly in getting him to stay.
Kurt smiles a bit this time, and I curiously find myself slightly calmer when I see it. "They do, I've looked it up. But there's no sense in offering it to me, Blaine. I like Dalton, and the Warblers, but I want to go back to my school. I just can't…" he hesitates, but continues, "I can't stay here anymore."
I'm not sure what to make of that, but a foreboding sense of dread starts to consume me as it becomes clearer every second: I'm going to lose him. Of course, we'll still be friends, even if he does go back to McKinley, but we won't have as much time together, especially living in different cities, however close they may be.
There is only one thing that I can think of to convince him otherwise, so I all but beg. "Kurt, please." I grab his attention, his eyes focusing on mine. "Stay." I whisper.
His brow furrows. "I'm not a dog, Blaine, however much you might think it."
Surprise takes me over. Is that what he thinks I think of him? "I don't…"
"I know, I'm sorry." He interrupts me again. Apparently, I'm getting no say whatsoever in this whole conversation, though I do notice that his expression is different from the one he portrayed five seconds ago. "That was my frustration building up."
A tense silence follows as neither of us knows what to say… that is, until I realize that I just need to say what I really feel about it. And I do. "I don't want you to go, Kurt." I whisper, my voice rasp and my arms opening up, beckoning him into a hug.
He smiles at me and steps into them, permitting the embrace, and pressing his face against one of my shoulders. "I know, but…"
"But?" I ask automatically, yet again. My instincts are apparently taking charge of my actions.
Kurt, however, doesn't answer. He just holds me a little tighter, something he's never done before. Seconds later, just as I think about prodding him for the answer, his voice echoes in my ears, the words they carry nearly shattering my heart.
"There's nothing keeping me here."
~!GLEE!~
Though Kurt's choice of words had almost plucked my soul right out of my living body, I understand why he made such a decision. Although I'm still against it, I can't help but to feel a little jealous at the sparkle I saw in his eyes when he talked about going back, even if it warred against the sadness at leaving us.
However, I don't want him to go without something to remember his time here, so I called an urgent meeting as soon as he turned his back. Because everyone returns to Dalton together, it isn't so difficult to reunite all the members, minus one, especially when the latter is so distracted, he doesn't notice so many of his fellow singers checking their mobile phones for the message I texted.
A normal Kurt would definitely not have let that slide.
"Attention, Warblers!" I call, and, promptly, Wes bangs his gavel to demand silence. Immediately all the other voices become quiet, as all pairs of eyes land on me. "I'd like to propose a present to Kurt, who did his best for us, even though he was competing against the very friends he wants so desperately to go back to. To Kurt, who could have left us before Regionals, but didn't... That alone shows character and responsibility towards the Warblers."
Many heads nod, some of the teens crossing knowing looks of approval. They had come to like Kurt, though a few members of the group had taken some time to get used to the countertenor's sarcasm and smart comebacks.
Of course, no one will miss him as much as I will.
"So, what exactly do you have in mind?" David asks with a knowing look.
Of course, they all suspect we'll be singing, and not just because we're an acapella group. We all know Kurt loves singing, and that he also loves being sung to, however few times it happened to him. Such information plays a huge part in this decision. "I want to sing him a goodbye song... Something he can't forget, so that he doesn't forget us."
"Us, or you?" Wes asks, and at least three fifths of the boys nod their heads or smile.
"Us." I repeat firmly, but I know I don't want him to forget me, specifically.
Thad and Wes shake their heads, and I can tell from the look the latter is giving me that he disagrees with something – whatever it is.
"Have you thought of a song in particular?" Jeff, surprisingly, is the one to interrupt the silence. Usually he prefers not to call attention to himself right after soundless moments.
"Is there any special song we can sing?" John asks. Despite his burly appearance, the big guy is one of the sweetest people I know, and he was also one of the first to accept Kurt. My friend considers our beatbox one of the Warblers he is closest to, Jeff being the first – mainly because the blond and him had almost all of their classes together.
I nod, a little uncertain, but soon reply. "Somewhere only we know."
I hear a few hushed voices, but not a word I can understand.
"Blaine," Wes calls, after a minute or two, and I look at him. "What's your intention with this song? It has tremendously profound lyrics to both of you, I am sure."
There's no denying that. "Like I said, I want Kurt to remember this," I explain, holding out my arms, as if trying to embrace the room. "Dalton, the Warblers. I want him to remember everything he experienced while he was here."
"Like the kiss?" Thad asks, with a raised eyebrow, and I immediately freeze.
Do they know?
"What kiss?" I ask, already afraid of the answer.
"Between you two, here." The council member presses on, but thanks to that last word, I recognize the trap he was trying to pull me into.
"There was no kiss. End of story. I'm doing this because Kurt is my friend and he has been through a lot. Despite that, he still did his best within our group, so I do think it is appropriate to give him some sort of gift. Considering he loves music, I thought singing would be our best shot. That's it." I explain with certainty.
The Council members shake their heads and I see some of the boys mimicking the action. For a moment, I actually think they will reject the idea. Almost a minute later, Wes bangs his gavel and calls for a vote on the subject.
~!GLEE!~
"Blaine, really, I wish you would stop making us sing in places where we may be murdered in public, or something worse. These kids look like they'll strangle us the second we pull out a note!" Nick complained, looking almost schizophrenically amongst the passing students.
"And stop trying to woo your boyfriends in public with us in tow! It's totally embarrassing!" Cameron added, but meaning it only half-heartedly.
I roll my eyes, but don't bother to reply. Since my idea was approved, unanimously – by the way –, I have denied so many times that Kurt and I are not an item, that I decided to stop doing it. Obviously, no one is listening when I say that, so there really is no sense in continuing to waste my time denying.
"Don't worry, Nick. Kurt said they're not allowed to bully anymore, so there is no need to be scared! Now, calm yourself before you give away our surprise!" I all but shout, hoping we wouldn't be seen or heard before our cue.
David steps in, acting as a human barrier between Nick and the colorful students of McKinley High. While the younger boy seems to be soothed somewhat with that, I receive a message, silencing the Warblers. A few minutes later, we can see, almost on the opposite side, that the incomplete New Directions has gathered, and Mercedes starts speaking to them. Soon enough, just as we knew that she and Kurt had planned, our friend is coming down the stairs.
Seconds later, so are we.
TBC
A.N.: We're halfway through, I believe. Shouldn't be so difficult. Please remember to review, and please, please don't mention Season 3! Please!
My internet is sulky today. Hope I can get it back to normal soon.
Syaoran-Lover (KaiLi) signing out.