You have a friend request. Alison eyed the phone before opening her Facebook app. She looked over to see Bucky was gone and she wasn't too worried that he left without waking her up. He had started doing yoga in the morning with Bruce and they tended to meet either for breakfast or for his sessions.
She only recently starting using Facebook again and she had locked it down so she didn't get a lot of random friend request. She had started using it again in April right before Sophia and Renee's engagement party. God she nearly started crying when she realized she hadn't changed her relationship status since Matt's death and she had to click the little button that said she was single. She honestly couldn't remember the last time she had a friend request. Most people with the Avengers didn't add each other in hopes of keeping work and personal stuff a little separated since they all lived together. The friend request came from a guy named Justin Sinti and it had a message attached. Alison opened the message and prayed it wasn't a virus spammer.
Hi. I'm Renee's friend Justin. We teach at the same school. I hope I'm not bothering you, but Renee said we're kind of in the same boat-single and almost thirty. Well I'm in thirties so it's almost the same boat. Sorry I'm rambling. If you're free anytime this week would you be open to going out to dinner? I promise I don't have any weird food allergies and I love gluten. Seriously if you don't want your gluten I will gladly take it from you. Feel free to message me here or call me at the school during lunch. Hope to hear from you soon-Justin.
Alison had to bite back a little laugh about the gluten line. It was a little dorky, but funny too. This must be the guy that Renee and Sophia kept insisting she needed to meet. Clearly he decided to take the first step and sought her out.
Alison considered the friend request and decided to see what she could of his profile before accepting and found like her he had it locked down so you couldn't see much other than the basics. Name, age relationship status and a profile picture. Name- Justin Sinti. Age-32. Relationship Status-It's complicated. His profile picture was a tall blond man in a green tee shirt standing next to Goofy. He seemed nice and possibly normal, but she decided to think a little more before accepting the request and the offer for dinner.
Alison put her clothes in the bathroom and got in the shower. She had slept in a little later than normal and didn't want to be late. She had been up to almost one in the morning talking with Steve and Bucky about going to see Becca. Bucky did want to see her again, but he was worried and that was to be expected. It was agreed upon that Steve would break the news to Becca about Bucky being alive. It would be best to hear it from Steve since she knew him best. Alison agreed to be there in case Bucky needed her or to answer any questions Becca had.
Alison finished her shower and started getting dressed. He's making really good progress and this is a huge step for him. She's another link to his old life and facing her is going to be hard, but he's not backing away, thought Alison. She wished she could be half as brave as Bucky was.
She was getting better about her personal life and she had made new friends. Alone, but not lonely, thought Alison, But the idea of taking a step back towards dating still had her in knots. If it was Bucky you were taking a step towards would you be this way, thought Alison and she almost dropped her hair brush. She took a deep breath and counted to ten. She liked him on a level she shouldn't and that was her own fault for not maintaining some boundaries with him from the start. What if Franklin was right though and had she put up those boundaries? Would he be where he was now with people? Something about him just tugged at her and it was more than a basic attraction. How many guys like Tommy Dorsey? thought Alison. She zipped up the back of her dress and put on some make up. He was off limits to her and she was in too deep now to back out. Besides he didn't see her that way. If he flirts it's who he was and even it meant something you can't encourage it. I won't hurt him that way.
…...
Bucky had decided to go for a run with Steve that morning and when he got back to the Tower he was in badly in need of a shower. The race had started has a joke more or less, but soon the need to win overtook both men and since there was no judge they bickered about who actually won the fifteen mile race.
"Just because it's your birthday doesn't mean you get to win," muttered Bucky downing what was left in his water bottle.
"Don't hate me because I'm a few months younger than you," said Steve rubbing a cramp in his leg. Alison wasn't in the room so Bucky peeled the damp shirt off the second the bedroom door was closed and was about to remove his pants when Alison came out of the bathroom. She had still been sleeping when he left this morning and he figured she would be gone by now to see her grandfather and talk to Becca. They had talked last night about him wanting to see Becca again and Alison said she would tell her Steve would be visiting her and that he had something important to tell her. She makes everything seem so damn easy, thought Bucky.
"Yoga was intense this morning?" asked Alison joking.
"Running with Steve," said Bucky suddenly feeling very aware he was half naked in front of her. Granted she had seen him naked before, but he really hadn't thought of her at all or himself. He had sort of gotten used to people seeing him in various states of dress over the years. After all he had been a weapon and who cares if the weapon was cold or wanted someone to stop touching him. She had been the first person to treat him and his body with any sort of respect in years. She cared about what I wanted and if I was alright. Even before it was her job to care about me. She cared because it's who she is. There had once been a time he cared about people because it was who had been. He wondered if she would have liked that side of him because he didn't know if he could find all those pieces again. He cared about Steve and Becca because he could remember caring about them from before. He was starting to care a little bit about Bruce and the others he was slowly forming friendships with. And Alison...god he wished he didn't care for her. It would be so much easier if he didn't care.
"You look pretty," said Bucky and Alison gave a little shrug. She was wearing a dark blue spaghetti strapped dress that went down to her knees. It wasn't too relieving or form fitting, but it did make him want to guess what she wasn't showing. She had her hair down in loose waves and she had actually taken time to fuss with make-up. She didn't wear make up a lot. It was an old habit from her nursing days she explained once. She got tired of it running and sweating it off it during her shift so why bother. He noticed a lot of the women on med staff didn't fuss with it unless they were leaving for the city on a day off.
"I thought I would try to look decent for my grandpa and for the party later," said Alison. Bucky remembered he had her dog tags and handed them over to her and she smiled. "I almost forgot. Thanks," said Alison putting them back on.
"I'll see you later on this afternoon?" asked Bucky and she nodded.
"The concert should end around two and I should be back here by three or four since the traffic is going to be crazy," said Alison.
"You should get going than," said Bucky.
"Try to have fun while I'm out," said Alison and she picked up her phone and purse before heading out. Bucky went into the bathroom, stripped and turned the water to the coldest setting. He could sort of hear the Soldier in the back is his mind telling him to stop fighting the urges. She makes you weak with all this wanting. Just take her and make the want stop. It will stop when you have her. She's weak compared to us...we felt something when she was under us fighting for her life. Was it right? I'm so tired of all this feeling. I don't want to feel it anymore. Just do something and make it stop.
Bucky knew better though, he couldn't and wouldn't hurt her in anyway. He loved her too much to do that. Yes there was a good deal of lust for her, but he was starting to see there was a lot of love mixed in there. She saw him. When no one in the world had noticed him she had seen him in his time of need and reached out to him. How easy would it have been for her to walk away and ignore him? So many others had in the past. She didn't have it in her heart though to hurt anyone and he used to think about how easy snapping her neck would be. How could she love someone like him when he still had all horrible thoughts in his head? Stupid. I'm so damn stupid, thought Bucky.
He got out of the shower and started getting dressed. He could just walk away and go back into hiding; You'll hurt her and Steve if you leave. Beside you've done enough running away from what you've done, thought Bucky.
Maybe this was his karma; Bruce had explained karma to him. That good deeds result in a good future and bad deeds lead to future suffering. Well if he had any good karma from his time growing up and fighting against Hydra during the war he lost it all after being an assassin for over seven decades. He couldn't have Alison because he wasn't supposed to. She was a reminder of all the things he couldn't have because of all the horrible things he had done. Maybe someday he could have someone good like her love him back. In the meantime Bucky Barnes would take his punishment like so many punishments he had taken in the past. At least this was a punishment he deserved...
…
Alison had just pulled into the parking lot of the nursing home when she remembered she was supposed to bring Becca a burger and forgot.
"Damn it," muttered Alison as she grabbed the dress jacket out of the car and went inside. I'll see about getting her one tomorrow, thought Alison.
"Ms. Conley," called one of the nurses just as she was signing in. Alison looked up and saw it was Mindy one of the nurses she always saw on the weekend shift.
"Hi Mindy," said Alison and the look on Mindy's face told her that she didn't have good news.
"I know you planned on taking your grandfather out today, but it's not a very good idea. We were just about to call you. Dr. Mathis wants to talk to you," said Mindy. Oh that's never good, thought Alison. Bracing herself for bad news Alison took a seat in the lobby and Mindy paged Dr. Mathis. A few minutes later an older Indian man came and took a seat across from Alison.
"I'm sorry to have to break this too you on a holiday," said Dr. Mathis.
"Bad news doesn't take a holiday," said Alison. "He's getting worse isn't he," said Alison and Mathis nodded.
"The tumors have started increasing again. I could up his medication, but then we would have to adjust everything else which could make other things worse. He hasn't been sleeping very well in the evenings, which means he wants to sleep all day. We've noticed more stiffness in his limbs and you've noticed more lapses in his memory," said Mathis and Alison nodded not really trusting herself to speak. "I think we might move him to stage four. He can still attempt standing and walking with his walker and he isn't experiencing hallucinations yet. To be honest we should have put him in this stage sooner, but the medication seemed to be helping most of his issues," said Mathis. Alison took a deep breath to gather her thoughts.
"Do I need to look for another home?" asked Alison. She really hoped not. She liked the team and the doctors here. Moving Robert to a new location when he was on the decline would really mess him up.
"We have the setup to handle any behavior issues that might arise. He's dozing right now, but I have to advise against any long trips outside the facility. I know you're a nurse, but if he gets violent with you or if he falls and you hurt yourself trying to stop the fall it wouldn't be good for either one of you," said Mathis and Alison nodded.
"Alright. He's going to be pissed about missing the choir though. I'm gonna blame you okay," said Alison trying to joke and Mathis gave her a small smile.
"I'm used to people blaming me for all sorts of things," said Mathis and he patted her hand. "I'll let you get on with your visit." Mathis stood up and left. Alison took a few seconds to compose herself before going to her grandfather's room. Sometimes all the medical knowledge just made things worse. She knew and understood what was going to happen to her grandfather. His muscle function will continue to decrease, coordination is going to get worse, his speech is going to get worse...god he could lose the ability to speak all together, thought Alison. She stood in his doorway for a moment to look at him. He had once been a giant in her eyes. He had shrunk and his posture had him looking even smaller. This was a man who had fought in the Pacific and had narrowly missed being captured and sent to a Japanese POW camp. The man who taught countless students how to play music and now he couldn't even hold his drum sticks. It hurt to know that there was nothing to be done now and all she could do is wait. She hung his dress jacket up and went over to his bed.
"Hey old man," whispered Alison and she kissed him on the forehead. Robert looked up and gave her a tired smile.
"Sunday already?" he asked and Alison sat down.
"I decided to pay you a visit a day early if that's alright," said Alison and she sat down. Robert looked puzzled for a moment and she could see his hands were shaking.
"Oh...we were supposed to go see the show. I don't feel like going Ally. Those kids are just terrible. No drive to excel when everyone wins," muttered Robert and Alison wanted to laugh a little.
"I'm sure they worked really hard," said Alison and he shook his head.
"They don't have the soul to play. You...god you had so much soul when you played. I miss seeing you play. I tried to teach your daddy and he didn't have it in him. I was really hard on him. I was so hard on him about everything. He shouldn't have left you though," muttered Robert and Alison took his hand and she could feel it shaking.
"You were hard on all your students," said Alison.
"You knew how to take it though. You are the most driven person I ever laid eyes on. You always seemed to bounce back and push yourself a little harder when things didn't go your way. I thought after a while you were going to bounce back after Matty's death and I didn't know what to do when you didn't bounce back. You needed me and I didn't know what to do," said Robert and Alison squeezed his hand.
"I didn't know what to do either. Somedays I still really don't know what I'm doing. I just have to keep trying," said Alison.
"I...I just want you to happy honey. Take a chance on life again," said Robert and Alison blinked back her tears. Damn when the old man was firing he fired on all cylinders.
"I'm trying...I just...it's not easy. It's not easy to feel those things again. I haven't been in love for a long time and I'm not really sure how it should be," said Alison. Robert was already starting to slip off again and she was alone with her thoughts. She decided to voice them anyway.
"I think there is someone, but he's not...I'm not supposed to feel what I feel for him. And I keep telling myself its wrong and that I really should walk away, but he's been alone for so long and if I leave it's going to hurt him. I don't want to hurt him. He's had so many people hurt him in his life and he didn't deserve it. You would like him. He's brave and tough and he likes music too. Honestly I'm surprised you two never crossed paths. Then again you were at the dance hall for the band and he was there for the girls. At least that's what I told," said Alison with a small laugh. "Sometimes he doesn't think he's a good man anymore, but deep down I see it. I see the person he could be and anyone would be lucky to have him. I'm a really stupid person you know that right...can't even figure out my damn feelings and I'm supposed to be helping him figure his feelings and thoughts out," said Alison. Robert had gone to sleep and Alison brushed back some of his hair.
"I think the only feeling I have never doubted is how much you mean to me. I never meant to hurt you. I really thought you would be better off without me. I'm really sorry I put you through all that crap. I love you," said Alison and she kissed his forehead again and watched him sleep for a while before getting up and heading to see Becca.
Alison found her in the common room with some other people watching the History Channel and it was a special about Project Rebirth. Becca was rolling her eyes at the footage of skinny Steve.
"Conned his way in and didn't tell me for months what he was up too. It was 'classified'," said Becca in a mocking tone. Alison nearly started laughing. "I almost went to the show in New York and if I had known it was him...oh I would have kicked him so hard. America's Great Hope or not," said Becca. Alison came over and sat down.
"Think the choir girls would have let you get that close?" asked Alison. Becca smiled at her and kissed her cheek.
"Oh I could have taken them on. I learned a mean right cross from Bucky," said Becca and Alison could see him trying to teach his sister how to fight.
"I'm sorry I forgot your burger. I promise to bring you one tomorrow," said Alison.
"I'll forgive you this time. Are they getting your grandfather ready?" asked Becca and Alison shook her head.
"He's not feeling good today so we're gonna take a rain check," said Alison and Becca nodded in understanding.
"It happens to the best of us love," said Becca. Alison was really starting to love this lady and she was struck by an idea.
"You know I have tickets to the Captain America exhibit and I know you donated some items, but have you actually seen the whole thing put together?" asked Alison.
"You're going to spring me from the clink, take me to a museum so I can see the mini shrine to my other annoying big brother?" asked Becca.
"We could get a burger," said Alison.
"Oh you are a tricky little thing," said Becca with a smile.
…
"Come on Bucky, its simple and you actually taught me. Well you tried and I nearly fainted," said Steve. Bucky rolled his eyes and Natasha just grinned.
"I just watched a bunch of videos on YouTube," said Natasha. Steve wanted to try to teach him some dances before the party. Steve said there might be some dancing, but he wasn't sure what Tony had planned. Steve said this would be good for him and hopefully bring back some more good memories for him. Somewhere in the back of his mind he could remember dancing. The hall smelled of cigarettes and alcohol. There was a blond in a green dress and the music was so loud he almost had to yell to ask for a dance. She was very short, but she kept up with him as they danced. It was the Lindy Hop and people actually stopped to watch them dance.
"People still dance like that?" asked Bucky.
"Some do. Just watch me and Natasha and then you'll try," said Steve. Bucky watched as Steve took Natasha's right hand in his and put his left hand on her shoulder while Natasha put her hand on Steve's shoulder. "We'll start simple with a waltz," said Steve. Natasha asked Friday to play from the new list of music on her phone.
"I tried to find some stuff you might have heard from before," said Natasha as the music started up. The music was rather slow, but something about seemed a little familiar. Bucky watched as Steve lead Natasha around the room and it looked so damn effortless.
"This is the box step and we just turn a little bit," said Steve as he turned Natasha to the right as they danced. "Now you try," said Steve and Natasha went over to him.
"Relax I'm not going to bite you," said Natasha and she took his left hand and put it on her shoulder while she took his right hand in hers. "I'll lead for a bit until you get the hang of it," said Natasha. It had looked easy when she and Steve were doing it, but he wanted to look down to see if he was stepping right and he stepped on her foot repeatedly.
"Sorry," muttered Bucky has he stepped on her foot for the sixth time and she didn't hide her wince this time.
"Would it help if I was someone else?" asked Natasha and Bucky went to take a step back and Natasha didn't let go. Natasha waited as Bucky looked very annoyed for a moment and then he squared his shoulders, pulled Natasha very close and started to lead her around the room not missing a step. There was something in his eyes that said everything to Steve. His best friend had finally fallen in love and he couldn't spit out. Bucky had always had a way with words and now they were his worst enemy. The song ended and Bucky took a step back from Natasha,
"Does everybody know but her?" asked Bucky his hands in fists. Why was it so obvious to everybody but her? Why didn't she see it? Because she doesn't love you the same way. You're an overgrown child she's paid to take care of, spoke that very hateful voice in his head, Bucky turned and walked out the room quickly and nearly knocked Bruce over.
"Bucky? What's going on?" asked Bruce. Steve shook his head and looked at Natasha.
"Does she really not see it?" asked Steve.
"It's not her fault...she doesn't want to see it," said Natasha.
"Even if she did see it she couldn't do anything about it," said Bruce and Natasha glared at him. "You would have to fire her first and even then people would talk," said Bruce.
"So let them talk," said Natasha and Bruce glared.
"You are aware that if their 'relationship' doesn't work she's the one who's going to really pay the price. Her professional reputation will be ruined before she's even started working," said Bruce. Natasha stalked off after Bucky and Bruce took a deep breath.
"Can I be filled in? If she likes him too I don't have a problem with her dating him," said Steve. "Nurses dated patients all the time when...well seventy years ago on the frontlines you really didn't have a lot of choices. Would I really have to fire her if they went on just one date?" asked Steve.
"She couldn't treat him anymore as a patient if she crossed that line with him. Alison knows Bucky on a very inmate, emotional level. People could say she manipulated him into the relationship. Used her knowledge of his past to trick him and well some would call it abuse of patient if they crossed any other lines," said Bruce. "Honestly I don't think she knows Bucky has a crush on her. He's a patient in her eyes and she won't cross that line. She would consider it harmful to him." said Bruce.
"Do you think she likes him?" asked Steve.
"Well yes she likes him. I'm not sure on what level though. Like I said even if she felt that way, she won't cross that line. She likes him enough to not to hurt him," said Bruce.
"Feeling that way about her and not understanding what to do about it is hurting him," said Steve.
"And if she doesn't feel that way?" asked Bruce. Steve sighed and suddenly felt all ninety seven of his years. He honestly had no idea how to help Bucky with this. Steve had held his tongue until he was going to die with Peggy even though Bucky had told him to take a chance. The worst she can do is shoot at you again, was Bucky's teasing line. If Alison didn't feel the same for Bucky than she would be in a horrible position to let him down and break his heart. If she did feel the same people would constantly questioning if she was hurting him somehow to get something selfish. Steve had only known her a short time, but he didn't think Alison had a selfish bone in her body. Even if she did feel the same she would never say anything.
"I've never seen him like this for anyone other than for me and his sister. He's in love with her and I need to tell him he can't have her," said Steve and he left the room to try and find his friend. Bruce sighed and debated going back to India. It was peaceful and he didn't have all the nagging thoughts about relationships there.
…..
She doesn't see it because you tried to kill her, she doesn't see it because she's still in a love with a dead man, she doesn't see it because you're a killer, she's doesn't see it because you're a bad man. Bucky had gone up to the roof, he sat down and pulled his knees up to his chest and put his head on his knees while the hateful thoughts pounded in his head about why Alison didn't see that he loved her.
"Shut up," muttered Bucky. He felt Natasha sit down next to him and sighed.
"Why did you fall in love with her?" asked Natasha and Bucky looked at her stunned. "I was shocked when Steve said you didn't have a girlfriend waiting for you during the war. Why now?" asked Natasha. She had chosen to speak to him in Russian and it felt a little too easy to slip back into for Bucky.
"Because when she looks at me, she sees me. Not the Soldier. Not the sidekick to Captain America. She sees me and all the things I could have been or still could be. I like how it feels when I'm with her. Sometimes I feel like myself again. She's warm and I've been cold for so long. Even though she knows all these horrible things about me and I tried to hurt her...she only left to help me. She didn't have to ever help me. She didn't know me and she took a chance that maybe I was something more than what I am. I haven't felt this way in a very long time and now...I can't make it stop," admitted Bucky.
"She's not ready to see it because it scares her," said Natasha and Bucky looked at her. "She's not scared of you no matter what you think. She's scared of feeling that way because she's not sure what she would do if she lost it again. Plus she doesn't want to hurt you...dating you...being involved with you on that level would be considered bad for you. They could say she was hurting you if she entered a relationship with you," explained Natasha and Bucky was a little confused.
The idea of Alison hurting him was almost laughable. He had been a lab rat for the most depraved doctors and scientists in the world. They hadn't followed any sort of rules when it came to him. It pissed her off that they hadn't followed the rules and hurt him. She had even told him she felt a little bad for breaking some of the rules herself when it came to him. She had told him so when he asked her to come back.
People like Zola and whoever helped him give us a black eye. It's crossing a line that we know we're not supposed to cross and they do it anyway. Then again I'm really not one to be throwing stones about crossing lines right now. I'm really not supposed to tell you about my personal life because it creates an unfair balance between us. And well you know more about me than my former coworkers did after working with me for ten months.
"She wouldn't want to hurt me," said Bucky and he wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or cry at what was slowly dawning on him. She wouldn't let herself see it because in her eyes it was wrong and she would be a bad person for letting herself feel that way about him. She would put herself in the same camp as everyone else who hurt me if she fell in love back. She's better than that, but she wouldn't see it that way, thought Bucky.
"Bucky," called Steve and Bucky stood up and helped Natasha up. "I didn't know that…" started Steve and Bucky shook his head.
"It's alright. I know...she's can't feel that way about me. It doesn't change what I think about her. Maybe someday when I'm better...someday," said Bucky and he went to go back inside and Steve sighed.
"Maybe I should just fire her," said Steve and Natasha rolled her eyes.
"Rules were made to be broken. She's already broken a few with him already and it's really helped him. They'll need people on their side if they ever do figure out what is going on in their respective heads," said Natasha.
"I just want him to be happy again," said Steve.
…..
"You know the messier it is the better it tastes," said Alison has Becca wiped mustard off her face. They were sitting at a park table eating burgers Alison had gotten from a food truck near the museum. It had taken Becca calling her son to get Alison the permission she needed to take Becca out. It was a little amusing to her that a ninety year old woman had to ask for permission the way Alison had to when she was a child. Grandpa can I go downstairs and play with Sam? Alison had spoken briefly with Becca's son Thomas and was a little taken aback about how he sounded a little like his uncle. She explained she was a friend of Steve's and had been looking in on Becca for the last few weeks at Steve's request. Not that much of a lie, thought Alison. Alison also told him she was a nurse and could handle any issues when Becca took the phone back.
"Thomas James Barnes. I'm your mother and I'm telling you to tell the doctors I can leave the madhouse with my new best friend or so help me I will come back and haunt you. All the time." About ten minutes later Alison had a wheelchair in her backseat and Becca in the passenger seat.
"I think there is a law for that," said Becca taking another small bite of her burger.
"So did you really like the exhibit?" asked Alison. Becca sat her burger down and smiled wistfully.
"It's still a little more than overwhelming at times to know that I had two of America's greatest heroes making sure no boy ever got near me. I know all those people see great heroes, but they were just brothers to me. Very annoying older brothers that I missed with all my heart. Ah listen to me getting soft. Yes I enjoyed the exhibit dear. It was nice to see the few things I did part with were put to use," said Becca picking her burger back up.
Becca had pointed out what she had donated while they walked. A few pictures of Steve and Bucky before the war. A letter she had written to Bucky and a letter Steve a written to her asking for a pair of her knitted socks. The medals that had been given to her for Bucky were in a display next to other medals the rest of the Howling Commandos had gotten. Alison wondered what that had been like for Bucky to see. He had seen the exhibit when he started going on the run. God he must had been so confused and upset, thought Alison. He looked so happy and confident in those films with Steve and sometimes she saw the faint glimmer of that person when they talked.
"You still up there honey?" asked Becca and Alison shook her head.
"It's just a little weird for me to think of Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes as normal people. Honestly when I found out you were Becky Bee I nearly had a fangirl moment. Your posters were in my dorm and my friend has a huge book on pin ups and you were her favorite," said Alison. It was true, it was a little surreal at times to look up from her morning tea and see Captain America eating a bowl of Fruit Loops. To know he was a somewhat normal guy. Not to mention the fact you see Bucky Barnes trying to be a normal guy again, thought Alison.
"You know I never thought they would go anywhere and suddenly I'm one of the faces of the sexual revolution. Honestly though the money was very nice and it put my kids through college," said Becca and she took a few more bird like bites of her burger before looking at Alison again.
"My grandson is coming up next month and I think you two would get along nicely...oh don't make face," said Becca as Alison's face frozen in a grimace. "He's got a girlfriend, but he's also very into music," said Becca and Alison relaxed a little.
"I'm just sort of used to everyone trying to shove other single people at me. I currently have one waiting for Facebook friend approval," said Alison and Becca nodded.
"Are you going to approve him or let him linger in limbo?" asked Becca and Alison shrugged.
"He seems nice and normal. I just…" Becca cut her off.
"Then take a chance to see if he is. I know you've been through a lot, but you're still here and you only have to answer to yourself," said Becca. Did she really only have to answer to herself? Bucky? What in god's name was wrong with her? She needed to stop thinking about Bucky in that way. She was going to think herself crazy about him unless she did something. This is the wrong way to go about this...but maybe you'll like this guy too, thought Alison.
"Maybe I will," said Alison. She pulled out her phone and her hands were shaking a little as she accepted the friend request.
…..
Alison got back a little later than she said, but Bucky saw her the second she came in and joined Sam and Emily at a table. The party was rather low key at least that's what he got from Steve. It was just those who had stayed behind after the baseball game last night. They were on the roof of Avenger Tower waiting for fireworks to start. He couldn't have her it was that simple. He told himself it was an order and that it had to be followed. They could talk about his issues, but he couldn't tell her about his feelings when it came to her. She's not a bad person and everyone would see her that way. It's not fair, thought Bucky. Alison was talking to Sam and she looked very sheepish while he grinned and pulled her into a hug and she jokingly pushed him away. There was music playing and a few people were dancing. Steve was dancing with Maria Hill and Bucky wondered if there was anything to that. Wanda and Vision were trying to copy Steve and Maria with a little success. Tony dipped Pepper and she started laughing. Bruce joined him at his table and sighed.
"I should have told you earlier, I didn't it was serious though. I'm sort of bad when it comes to this sort of thing. I didn't used to be, but I can't risk it. I can't risk hurting someone that way again," said Bruce downing his drinking. "The first time I changed I had no control at all. I attacked my girlfriend and put her in the hospital...she was lucky. Letting her go was the hardest thing I have ever done," said Bruce.
"I can't leave. I'm tired of running. I know we can't ever be anything more than what we are. Still….I just...I would really like to dance with her," said Bucky.
"You should ask her. Get it out of your system before you drive yourself crazy," said Bruce. Bucky downed his own drink before going over to Alison. Bruce watched has he asked her dance and she looked stunned before he took her hand and they went off to a corner of the dance floor. Bruce watched as Bucky and Alison swayed in a circle and he looked annoyed as she looked up and explained something to him. Bucky's face soften for a second and Bruce could see a hint of the man Steve had talked about. Natasha joined him a watched them.
"We never danced," said Natasha.
"Do you want to?" asked Bruce and Natasha looked up at a little stunned. "It's only a dance," said Bruce feeling his face turn red. Natasha took his hand.
"Just one," said Natasha.
…..
"So I did something either really brave or really stupid," said Alison and Sam looked at her.
"What did you do?" asked Sam.
"I asked that guy...Justin if he wanted to go to dinner Wednesday night," said Alison and Sam grinned and pulled her into a hug.
"It's brave," said Sam and Alison nudged him off.
"It's just dinner and I swear if he even talks about sexting I'm leaving," said Alison. She was still nervous about it and felt sort of off about doing this just as a buffer for her feelings towards Bucky, but maybe she could fall for this guy if she got to know him and tried.
"Hey," said Bucky and that damn jolt in her stomach slammed into place.
"Sorry I'm late. Long story," said Alison.
"Think you could show me how that clutch and sway move works?" asked Bucky and Alison grinned.
"Sure," said Alison. It's just a dance. One dance, thought Alison. She noticed Bucky took her to a corner of the dance floor and she made sure there was about three inches between them before she put his hands on her hips and she wrapped her arms around his neck. Like a high school dance, thought Alison. "Just walk in a circle now," said Alison. The song had changed to a slightly slower number.
I was scared of dentists and the dark
I was scared of pretty girls and starting conversations
Oh, all my friends are turning green
You're the magician's assistant in their dreams
"This isn't dancing," muttered Bucky and Alison fought back a laugh.
"It's the clutch and sway. We hold each other awkwardly, sway in a circle and pray we don't get in trouble for being too close. At least that's the way it worked in high school," said Alison. He looked down at her and for a moment she saw that man in films, the one without a care in the world.
"Well I'll try very hard to not get you in trouble," said Bucky. Alison shook her head and wished she could get closer to him. She was unaware how much he wanted that too.
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Song-Riptide by Vance Joy