Well I say I'm going to do one thing and I go and do something completely different. This story was supposed to be a one-shot, but after reading your comments and PMs I decided to extend it. Not only that but it will more likely be a 3 part story as opposed to the proposed two-shot alternatives that were politely suggested to me. You know...I get wordy...so yeah.

Oh and I haven't forgotten about Sunshine and Lollipops :)

Disclaimer: I don't own New Girl

Please read and review. Thank you.

Pull it together, Jess.

She looked around her at the bathroom walls, the cold tile floor, and the porcelain sink. How long had she been sitting on the floor letting her emotions get the best of her? Taking a deep breath and wiping the last of her tears away, she slowly got up. Her eyes hurt, her head hurt…her heart hurt.

Walking over to the sink, she felt as if she were moving through a thick fog. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion. Sluggishly she reached to turn on the faucet, slowly she looked into the mirror, once again shocked by her reflection…her clearly distraught features. She even felt like her breathing was slow and shallow. Closing her eyes, she ran a hand down her face, not able to stand the sight of herself in the mirror. It was too hard seeing the truth so blatantly staring back at her.

But that was no good…Nick just came to mind.

Feeling herself beginning to break again she shook her head furiously, almost as if the harder she moved her head the better chance she would have at shaking the memories, the pictures of him out of her brain. The better chance she would have to rid herself of the sudden and unexpected realization she had just come to.

She loved Nick.

Or she cared for him…very deeply.

She was such a mess of emotions at that moment, she couldn't place her feelings, couldn't pinpoint them exactly. But they were strong, always had been. She had just been foolishly denying them. She had thought that if she kept a steady stream of men in her life then maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't have to admit how deep they went.

Cece's words from so many months ago rang clear and strong in her head.

He's a total Matthu…I'm telling you he gets you!

"Oh Jess." She whispered to herself, her voice hushed and shaky.

Why had she been so quick to dismiss what her best friend had so clearly and obviously seen? Why hadn't she just accepted all of those months ago that he was perfect for her…they balanced each other. Staring down at the running water she quickly turned it off, not sure why she had turned it on in the first place. Wiping away a stray tear she rolled her eyes at her overly emotional self.

Absolutely pathetic.

Annoyed, she tried to turn off her brain, but the questions kept circling her mind. Why had it taken him leaving the loft and running straight into the arms of the only woman he had ever loved, a woman who was completely wrong for him, to open her eyes? Should she keep her feelings from him? Should she just let him go, never revealing anything to him?

Of course she should.

Of course she shouldn't.

She sighed, exhausted.

"Hey Jess…you still in here?"

Jumping at the sound of Nick's voice, she quickly turned the faucet back on, pretending to wash her hands.

Clearing her throat she concentrated on the water currently running over her skin. "Yeah um I had something in my contact and was trying to get it out. " She said softly, not looking up at him as he stepped up to the sink next to hers.

"You okay?" He asked turning his faucet on, from what she could see out of the corner of her eye he had something in his hand. When he began brushing his teeth, she let her eyes fall back to her sink.

She cleared her throat again, a nervous habit of hers, and turned her water off before turning away from him. "Yeah I'm fine. Um…I'll see you later or something."

She heard him spit.

"Jess wait…um, about that stuff you said before…that was really…"

Still not looking up at him she waved his comment away. "Just forget it." She mumbled, before moving towards the door.

He beat her to it.

When he stepped in front of her, she sighed as she stared at their feet. They were pointing to each other. She bit the inside of her cheek, trying to contain her emotions. She couldn't look at him. She just couldn't.

"Hey what's wrong?" He asked her, his voice was gentle. She really wished it wasn't. It was making being around him that much more unbearable.

"Nothing." She said, pleading with herself to keep her voice steady. "My um…my eye hurts…I'm just tired…I need to lay down."

When she felt his strong hands grip her upper arms, she inwardly sighed.

"Hey look at me."

She shook her head mutely. Didn't he understand that if she looked at him she would completely lose it? No…of course he didn't. He was totally clueless. And she couldn't blame him; she had been blissfully clueless, or rather ignorant, up until just recently. How could she expect him to know her feelings when she had only just allowed herself to realize them?

"Jess you know I'm more stubborn than you are. I'll wait you out." He said in a light but concerned tone.

She wanted to laugh at him, knowing it was true. But his simple statement, his gently concerned voice, only made her want to cry more. Why had she been so blind before? Why had she been so scared to admit her feelings?

"Jess come on, look at me. Tell me what's wrong."

"I can't." She said simply, shrugging her shoulders.

When his hands began to rub her arms gently up and down, she felt her chin begin to tremble. As yet another tear made it's way down her face, she scowled at it, and watched it dropped from the tip of her nose to splash on the floor between them.

"Hey." He said, and letting go of her arms he brought a hand under her chin and cupped her face, forcing her to meet his eyes.

"You're crying." His voice sounded slightly shocked and he looked dumbfounded as he watched another tear trail its way down her cheek.

"It's nothing." Embarrassed she wiped her face. "It's nothing." She said again.

"It's not nothing. You're crying. When I left before…you weren't crying. What happened? Is it Paul? Are you upset about him getting engaged? I thought you were happy for him?" His dark eyes were searching her face, and she couldn't bear to see the sympathy that lurked in them, so she cast her gaze over his shoulder, trying her hardest to work up a smile.

"No. God no it's not Paul. Honestly it's nothing…just over emotional Jess." She wondered how genuine her shaky smile looked.

Apparently not genuine enough, because when she ventured a look at him, he was still staring hard at her, searching her face for answers she wouldn't, couldn't give him.

"Jess…tell me." It was a simple demand, really.

"No." She told his shoulder firmly, once again refusing to meet his gaze.

She knew she was only making him even more curious. She knew that by not even attempting to give him an excuse for her tears, she was only making him question her further. With each second that ticked away his interest was becoming increasingly piqued. But her brain was too muddled for her to come up with a decent reason for crying.

"Are you upset about me moving out?" His question was quietly spoken and surprised her so much that she found her eyes flashing to his. He was staring at her…his expression unreadable.

"What?" She laughed, it sounded slightly frantic in her ears. She shook her head and tried to act as if his question was funny, as if she thought he was joking, but she heard the quiver in her voice that gave her away.

As did he.

"Jess. You're wrong about Caroline and me…it's different now." His tone was steady, his eyes intense.

She hated that he was trying to explain, defend, his decision. And she couldn't help herself from reacting to it.

"Oh God." She practically scoffed, unable to keep the bitterness from her voice. It didn't go unnoticed by either of them.

His mouth dipped down into a frown, a turtle face, and he threw up his hands, clearly frustrated. "Why can't you just be happy for me!"

She closed her eyes briefly. They were going to have this conversation. They were really going to do this. She was going to have to put herself through talking about this, now, after she had just figured out her feelings for him. Glancing up at him, at his angry and expectant face she huffed out a breath. Yes, they were going to do this. She took a moment and counted to ten, preparing herself.

"Huh Jess? Why can't you just for one second be happy for me?"

This was too much.

"Answer me Jess! Why can't you be happy for me?"

"I can't be happy for you when you are making a mistake!" Her words, coming out in a shout, practically a shriek, surprised even her.

"You barely even know Caroline!" He shouted back, anger evident in his voice.

She rolled her eyes and laughed, it was a cold and harsh sound. "I know what she did to you Nick!"

She could feel her temper rising, and suddenly all she could feel was anger. Anger at his stupidity for blindly going back to the woman who had made him miserable. Anger at herself, for it taking something as big as that for her to let her feelings come to surface. And anger at him for just being him and for sneaking up on her and working his way into her heart.

He shook his head, he looked downright dangerous at that moment, and when he stepped up to her in a predatory kind of way, they were close, extremely close. She wanted to take a step back, but refused to back down to him. She was too angry, and anger felt much better, much safer, than what she had been feeling only moments ago.

"People change." His voice was low; his eyes were burning into hers.

"Not people like her. You gave her chances Nick, you gave her chance after chance, and every time, every single time she hurt you. Why give her another chance? I'll tell you why…it's because you are a coward. Caroline is what you know, it's what you are comfortable with. You are so afraid of being alone...so afraid of life in general, that you'd rather fall back on something as hostile and self destructive as a relationship with her." She was breathing heavily. He was such an idiot. Such a stupid, clueless idiot.

His eyes didn't leave her face as his expression darkened at her words and he leaned in even closer to her. "You don't know what you are talking about."

She rolled her eyes, the bitter part of her enjoying when his own narrowed at the action. "Okay Nick. Sure you keep telling yourself that. You're making a mistake, you know it, I know it, Schmidt and Winston know it, just own up to it."

He didn't say anything for a moment. The silence between them hung heavy and thick. They stared at each other, their breathing the only sound that could be heard. She was aware of how close they were standing. She was aware of how his face was just inches from hers, his eyes glaring down at her, his body just barely brushing against hers. She was aware of it all, but she tried to push it from her mind. She tried not to focus on it. She just focused on her anger, and how mad she was at him…at herself.

Finally he broke the silence.

"You know what Jess. I'm done. I'm done with this conversation." He stepped back from her, and her body immediately registered the loss of warmth his closeness had provided.

Her chin trembled as he took another step back, still watching her. Anger still clear on his face he shook his head. "I just wish you could be happy for me." He sounded sad, slightly resigned.

She bit her lip. She could feel tears threatening her eyes. "I can't." She said it simply, almost apologetically.

At her words, the fury slowly vanished from his expression, until he was just Nick. With his warm brown eyes, and a scruffy unshaven face.

"Why?" He asked her in a somewhat pleading tone.

Why? It was a simple question.

Why? It was a loaded question.

Smiling sadly she held his eyes. "I…I just can't." She said, her voice hoarse with emotion.

"That's not good enough."

She nodded. "I know." She didn't even bother to swat away the tear that trickled its way down her cheek.

He watched the tear as it trailed down her face, and something flashed in his eyes.

"Tell me." He asked her, in a soft unsure tone.

She swallowed, her throat felt tight, and her heart was beating fast and hard. She looked up at the ceiling, not able to face those dark eyes anymore.

"Jess tell me…please."

She shook her head fast she could feel her anger melting away, her resolve crumbling. "Please don't make me." She whispered to the ceiling.

He stepped towards her again, and then again, until he was directly in front of her once more.

"Look at me."

She wanted to refuse him, but she was so tired. So very tired. So she let her eyes slowly wander down from the ceiling to meet his. He was so close again, and the anger that had been so clear in his eyes only moments ago was no longer anywhere in his deep dark gaze. She wasn't sure what she saw there. But she knew looking into them, that she could never look at him the same way again.

"Jess…what's going on?" He spoke slowly, carefully.

"Noth-"

"Don't say nothing."

She snapped her mouth shut.

"Why are you so upset?" He sounded almost desperate, panicked.

She sighed; it came out shaky and broken. "Please Nick…don't ask me again."

"Tell me."

"I can't."

He narrowed his eyes and stepped towards her so they were now almost nose-to-nose.

"Tell me."

"Nick…please." She searched his eyes, she felt as if she were about to lose control. He had to stop asking her. She had to leave; she had to get away from him before she did something stupid. Before she did or said something they would both regret.

He placed a hand in her hair, running his fingers through it. "Tell me."

She closed her eyes at the feeling.

"Jess tell-"

And before she had a chance to over think it, to talk herself out of it, to list all of the reasons why it was a terrible idea, to tell herself anything that came after would inevitably end in heartbreak for her, she reached up and grabbed his face in both of her hands.

And she kissed him.

Thanks for reading. Please review! :)